Generally speaking, the closer you are to someone, the easier it is to overlook their defining traits.
Tan Junzi thought of her grandfather. In his era, Tan Zhengqi was considered tall; even as he aged and his stature shrank, he was still around 1.8 meters. Yet, Tan Junzi had always felt her grandfather was about the same height as her—a total illusion. Once, Tan Zhengqi showed her a group photo from a reunion of retired printing factory employees. Tan Junzi pointed at the photo, utterly shocked. "Grandpa, I didn't realize you were so tall!" He towered over everyone around him, looking exceptionally upright and dignified.
Then there was her father, whom she barely saw once or twice a month. Others would say, "Your father is a truly brilliant scholar." Tan Junzi didn't feel it. In her eyes, Guan Qiuyue was just a disheveled, middle-aged man who was oblivious to the world and entirely consumed by his academic pursuits. He barely even looked after his own daughter.
And then there was Chang Ying. After they started middle school, there were plenty of people who secretly crushed on him. Back then, everyone used Tieba, and their school had its own forum filled with all sorts of gossip. The name "Chang Ying" appeared in posts with high frequency. For example:
"Let's talk about Chang Ying from Class 1, Grade 9. If you know him, come in and chat."
"Does Chang Ying have a girlfriend? Rumors don't count."
"Rational discussion: where does Chang Ying rank in terms of looks for our grade?"
...
Every time, Tan Junzi treated these posts like a joke book; they were her source of entertainment. Once, during a "School Hunk" poll on the forum, Tan Junzi pointed at the computer and shouted, "Chang Ying! You actually ranked third! Hahahahahahaha—"
Tan Junzi even read the comments out loud:
"Chang Ying and Yu Mou are clearly different types. Personally, I prefer Chang Ying's vibe—gentle yet distant, it's so charming."
"Agree with the person above! Chang Ying's smile is just everything! And I absolutely love seeing him wear a black T-shirt under his school uniform! He's literally Rukawa Kaede!"
"Replying to the above, I also love that deep blue hoodie he wears! He wears it almost every Friday! But honestly, I think he looks more like Seishirou, especially when he's in the school uniform."
"Above, Seishirou wears glasses, Chang Ying doesn't. P.S. Seishirou can only belong to Subaru."
And then the thread completely derailed.
...
With every comment she read, Tan Junzi would kick her legs and double over with laughter at her desk.
At the time, Chang Ying was on the sofa playing video games with Liu Kan. He glanced at Tan Junzi but said nothing. Liu Kan, however, threw in a sudden comment: "I think they're being pretty objective."
Later, she even gave Chang Ying a card sticker she bought at the convenience store. It featured Seishirou under a cherry blossom tree. Chang Ying's face went dark when he received it, which made her laugh so hard she had to punch her own legs.
Now, as Tan Junzi suddenly scrutinized Chang Ying from an outsider's perspective, she realized his temper was actually incredibly good. How had he not strangled her back then?
To be honest, today was the first time she felt that Chang Ying was indeed quite handsome. But for her to actually voice a sincere compliment felt difficult. It was too strange. It was like saying "Mom, you're so beautiful" or "Dad, you're so handsome"—who notices that sort of thing out of the blue?
*
So, the comment "First time I've thought you were pretty handsome" was meant to be a passing remark.
Tan Junzi was currently eating grilled tofu when Chang Ying leaned in close to her ear and asked, "First time?" His breath brushed against the back of her ear, making her neck feel strangely itchy. She gave a sudden start.
Her hand jerked, and the piece of tofu at the tip of the skewer fell onto the table. She turned her head. The boy's sharp, defined face was right there, separated from her only by a skewer of cumin-dusted tofu. The look in his eyes and his smile made her feel a bit uneasy—they were like twinkling stars, like ripples on a pond, both clear and hazy.
She felt strange inside, though she couldn't say why. Goosebumps broke out across her arms for no reason. She grabbed a napkin and began rubbing the table haphazardly, muttering, "I just suddenly felt that way."
Chang Ying watched her for a moment. The smile at the corners of his mouth gradually faded, and he turned away. "That certainly was sudden."
Tan Junzi thought he was angry, but why? She couldn't figure it out. To hide her awkwardness, she took a sip of iced black tea, only to end up choking on it. She turned away, coughing. Chang Ying handed her a tissue and gently patted her back, his voice struggling to suppress a hint of amusement. "What's the rush, Tan Junzi?"
The fishing float gave a twitch.
*What's the rush, you little fish?*
*
The barbecue lasted nearly two hours. The sky was completely dark, and the streetlights had hummed to life.
Everyone said their goodbyes by the roadside. Chang Ying stood there holding his bicycle. Liu Kan held Yuan Guo's hand, and Yuan Guo had reverted to her soft, dainty, "clinging bird" persona.
Yuan Guo asked for Tan Junzi's phone number and said she'd look her up to hang out. Tan Junzi didn't have a bad impression of her, even if the things the girl said were one more scandalous than the last.
Just then, Yuan Guo looked toward the side of the road, and Tan Junzi saw him too. Qin Ke was standing across the street, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a cigarette. He had a fresh buzzcut that made him look like he was only missing a scar to complete the "thug" look. He looked over. Yuan Guo let go of Liu Kan's hand and, like a little bird, darted across the small road toward Qin Ke.
Yuan Guo and Qin Ke seemed to exchange a few intimate words. She pointed toward Tan Junzi's group of three, and Qin Ke nodded expressionlessly, his peripheral vision catching Tan Junzi. Then, Yuan Guo came running back, saying to everyone with a beaming smile, "My brother's here to take me home. I have to go."
Liu Kan didn't say anything. Yuan Guo stood on her tiptoes, grabbed Liu Kan's chin, and gave his lower lip a coaxing kiss, looking like a little hamster. "See you tomorrow, babe." Then she dashed back across the road to find Qin Ke. On the other side, Yuan Guo tried to take Qin Ke's arm, but he impatiently shook her off. She then snatched the cigarette from his fingers and took a puff. The two of them walked awkwardly into a nearby alley and gradually disappeared.
Tan Junzi was stunned. Most of her shock came from Yuan Guo's boldness in kissing Liu Kan in front of everyone.
By the time she noticed Liu Kan's dark expression, she slowly realized—Qin Ke was Yuan Guo's brother? What kind of brother?
Before Tan Junzi could ask, Liu Kan spat into a dark manhole cover. "That's her brother. I haven't been cheated on, so don't look at me like that."
His attempt at acting nonchalant didn't last two seconds before he added gloomily, "They aren't blood-related, but they grew up together. Their parents are both gone. That guy has been working odd jobs to put her through school; he even took a year off just to earn enough for their living expenses."
"Yuan Guo told me that if anything was going to happen between her and Qin Ke, it would have happened long ago, so I shouldn't worry about it."
Liu Kan turned to Chang Ying. "They aren't related, and they live together. This 'brother and sister' act—can I really believe it?"
Hearing "not blood-related" and "brother and sister," Tan Junzi's heart gave a violent thud. Recalling Yuan Guo's words—*You're being dishonest with yourself, you like Chang Ying*—she felt like Liu Kan was making an insinuation about her. She blurted out loudly, "I believe it!"
Liu Kan looked confused. "I was asking Chang Ying. Chang Ying, what do you think?"
Chang Ying swung a long leg over his bike seat. His tone was airy and drifting as he said, "Asking me? I believe in the 'brother and sister' thing." He paused. "But I don't believe in the 'older sister and younger brother' thing." Then he looked at Tan Junzi. As expected, she was staring at him with wide eyes.
"Stop staring and get on the bike." He didn't even ask why she was staring.
Liu Kan stood there, puzzled. *I only asked about brothers and sisters, I didn't say anything about older sisters and younger brothers. What is he even talking about?*
*
Tan Junzi almost never dreamed; she usually slept through until morning with an alarmingly accurate biological clock. But tonight was different.
First, she tossed and turned for a long time, not falling asleep until maybe two or three in the morning. What was she tossing about? Her mind was full of fragments: Yuan Guo's forceful kiss on Liu Kan's chin, Yuan Guo's joke about pursuing Chang Ying, and that split second where she had admired Chang Ying's uniqueness from an outsider's perspective...
What is youth? Perhaps it's just these wild thoughts on a sweltering summer night.
Eventually, she fell into a dream. It felt so real.
Chang Ying was hanging up bedsheets. He said, "Tan Junzi, I'm going to hang them now. Go over there and help me pull them taut." Tan Junzi obediently walked to the other side of the clothesline, waiting for him to hang the sheet.
Chang Ying shook the sheet out, but he didn't hang it up.
The next second, he draped the sheet over her head.
The damp fabric pressed against her face, blinding her. Then she felt something soft—it was Chang Ying's lips. Through the sheet, he was searching for her mouth. He felt from her forehead to her nose, and then down until he found her lips.
Two kinds of dampness mingled: the dampness of the sheet and the damp, soft sensation of his lips.
In the dream, Tan Junzi let out a small whimper as she was kissed. Chang Ying kissed her through the sheet for a long time, until she felt breathless. Only then did he let go, leaning close to her ear to whisper, "Older sister and younger brother? I don't believe it for a second."
Tan Junzi woke up.
The moment she opened her eyes, she saw Chang Ying, and she let out a terrified scream.
Chang Ying frowned, looking down at her from above. "You're going to suffocate yourself in your sleep."
Usually, Tan Junzi would finish her morning exercise, buy breakfast, and then call Chang Ying to eat. But today, Chang Ying had woken up exceptionally early and come to her house to wait. He hadn't expected her to sleep until nearly eight. For a normal person, this wasn't late, but for Tan Junzi, it was unheard of.
He had gone into her room and found her head buried under the blanket. She seemed tangled in it, and no matter how she struggled, she couldn't get out. She had been whimpering in her sleep—not like a nightmare, but like some strange dream. So,
