Liu Kan’s birthday fell on Sunday, but he invited everyone to his house on Saturday night. His parents both worked at the hospital and would be on the night shift then, leaving the house to them.
Tan Junzi had to go to the martial arts gym on Saturday afternoon. She had already agreed with Chang Ying that she would head straight to Liu Kan’s place from the gym.
Truth be told, Junzi’s visits to the gym had become noticeably less frequent since the school term started. Even on weekends, her attendance was sporadic at best. She was the type of person whose interests flared up quickly and died down just as fast; she was easily captivated by new things, but rarely did she persevere. Chang Ying was her polar opposite. He didn't have many hobbies, but whatever he took up, he mastered with depth and precision.
The two of them had once had a deep conversation about interests and dreams.
It was back in middle school. Liu Kan had bought a pirated VCD of a horror movie called *Ghost Ship* and lent it to Chang Ying. Back then, there weren't many official VCDs available, so most interesting films—like *Terminator* or *Jumanji*—were scavenged from pirated stalls.
Chang Ying had invited Junzi over to watch it. It was a weekend afternoon, and they had curled up on the sofa, drawing the curtains to create a spooky atmosphere.
To be fair, the movie was decent, but Junzi’s focus had eventually drifted. She remarked that the antagonist was incredibly persistent, spending cycles of time just to harm people. In a sense, she argued, such dedication to a single task was almost a virtue.
From that low-budget horror villain, their conversation shifted to the topic of dreams.
Sitting in the corner of the sofa and watching the credits roll, Junzi admitted that she didn't really have anyone she particularly wanted to become. In elementary school, when the teacher asked everyone to write down their future aspirations, she had been watching a TVB police drama, so she just scribbled down "police officer." She figured most kids did the same; it was hard to imagine having a clear concept of a career or the future at such a young age.
On the other side of the sofa, Chang Ying leaned his arm on the headrest, his voice low. He said that ever since he studied the lesson about the Zhaozhou Bridge in third grade, he had wanted to be a bridge engineer. When the teacher asked for their ideal profession, he had written "bridge engineer" with total sincerity, not as a random guess.
That dream had never changed. As his knowledge grew and his understanding of the world deepened, the dream simply became clearer. In elementary school, he only had a vague idea of what an engineer did. Now, he knew that to become one, he needed to study civil engineering in college. Compared to his younger self, he now knew exactly how to achieve that dream, step by step.
Junzi was quite surprised. But on second thought, that was exactly who Chang Ying was. Whatever he thought or did, he never broadcasted it with fanfare. It was always at some later point that those around him would suddenly realize: *Oh, so that’s what he was thinking,* or *So he actually knows how to do that.* Some things were like that, while other things remained hidden forever, as he had no desire for others to know.
That conversation was likely the first time the two of them had truly talked about themselves and their futures.
Growing up together had many perks, such as mutual trust and being each other's best friend. However, because they were childhood sweethearts who had grown up without secrets, Junzi often forgot to look at Chang Ying from an outsider's perspective. All his virtues, his dreams, and his character seemed to be obscured by the simple fact of "I know him too well."
In the eyes of an outsider, Chang Ying must be someone both excellent and formidable.
Thinking of this, Junzi had said, "I actually quite envy you. To me, the future is just a mass of fog. I have to walk through it to see what kind of person I’ll become. Sometimes I feel like a headless fly, bumping into things left and right. Unlike you—you have a steadfast expectation for your future."
"There’s no right or wrong way," Chang Ying replied. "Everyone has their own pace. Some people have a map in their hands; they know that by following this path, they will reach their destination. Others are impulsive and have no set destination. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. Reaching a specific place isn't the only way to have a good life. As you move forward, left, right, or even backward, you see much more than someone walking a straight line. You unlock many things that I never will."
"There’s no such thing as a 'detour' in life, only differences in distance. It’s hard to say what’s good or bad. Different personalities, different paths. They are simply different."
"If you knew how others saw you, you’d know how wonderful you are. So, just be yourself. There’s no need to imitate anyone else. Wear your own shoes and leave your own footprints," Chang Ying concluded.
A half-minute of silence followed. Then, Junzi spoke up.
"Are you praising me?"
"Of course."
"Then how do you know how others see me?"
"I’m guessing." Chang Ying stood up and turned off the TV, pulling the curtains open. The afternoon sunlight flooded in. *Because I am that 'other person,'* he thought to himself.
***
Although Junzi had lost interest in practicing martial arts, her motivation for going to the gym on weekends had shifted to her friends there. She was particularly close with Qian Niu.
Aside from Qian Niu, who was about to enter middle school, the rest of the kids were just little "beans" in first or second grade.
It seemed children always liked playing with those older than them. Qian Niu would put on the dignified air of a "Senior Sister" one moment and then chase after Junzi to chat the next.
Despite their three or four-year age gap, Junzi didn't find Qian Niu immature. The girl spoke and acted quite grown-up, except for the fact that she was afraid to go to the bathroom alone.
On Saturday afternoon, Qian Niu was supervising Junzi’s leg stretches, nagging her all the while. "Look at you. You didn't practice for a week and you've lost all your basics. The masters don't expect you to bring glory to our gym, but you should at least practice at home. It makes me feel so unaccomplished when you have to start from zero every weekend. It’s infuriating."
"You say that as if my other seniors have brought glory to the gym," Junzi said through gritted teeth as she stretched her tendons.
"They have! Didn't you see the banners on the wall? We got those from competitions," Qian Niu said, looking shocked. "You didn't think we just hung around here doing nothing all day, did you?"
Junzi hadn't looked closely at the banners. She had always assumed they were like advertisements bought online. She hadn't realized they were real.
"Junior Sister, I think you’re too naive. If the Master didn't take us to various competitions, how would the gym survive?" Qian Niu was half a head shorter than Junzi, but she spoke with great authority. Her tone didn't sound like that of a twelve-year-old girl.
"Actually, I’ve always wondered how a gym with only a few dozen people, including me, manages to stay afloat," Junzi whispered.
"The gym doesn't really make a profit. Big Brother Qin has been funding it. He’s essentially the owner in name. He handles the rent and the venue," Qian Niu explained. "Most of the kids here come from families with difficult circumstances; some are from orphanages. They were sent here to learn martial arts to find a way out in life. The Master brings us in and takes us to competitions to get famous and make money. It’s normal. We all have the same goal. People like you, who learn just for fun, are the minority."
"You’re saying Qin Ke is the owner?!" Junzi’s voice rose slightly.
Qian Niu nodded noncommittally. In the distance, Qin Ke walked past carrying some equipment, glancing their way.
"The Fat Master is your grandfather, so why are you learning martial arts?" Junzi asked, returning to the original topic.
"The great chivalry is to serve the country and the people. I practice martial arts to help all living beings," Qian Niu declared. "My dream is to be a Great Hero."
"How do you become a Great Hero in modern society?" Junzi asked with interest.
"It’s simple. If you have fame, money, and influence, you use them to contribute to society," Qian Niu said seriously.
"And what if you have no fame, no money, and no ability?"
"I knew you’d ask that. If you have nothing, you take care of yourself and strive to become better. No matter what kind of person you are, you can be a Great Hero." Qian Niu pressed down on Junzi’s back with force. "My goal for the next five years is to become the national champion in Taiji Sword."
"The great chivalry is to serve the country and the people... that’s a beautiful sentiment. Did you come up with that?" Junzi reflected on the words.
"I didn't say it; Mr. Jin Yong did. It was on the cover of the novel I lent you. Did you even read it?" Qian Niu pushed Junzi’s head down further, changing the subject. "Master said he’ll teach you how to do somersaults in a few weeks. Excited?"
Amidst a series of groans, Junzi finally managed to touch her toes. She squeezed out two words through her teeth: "So... excited."
As Junzi left the gym, she spotted a familiar figure at the street corner. It was an old man carrying a large snakeskin bag, rummaging through a roadside trash can. It wasn't until she boarded the bus that she remembered—that was the "Uncle Kong" Officer Xiao Chen had mentioned, the father of "Floral Padded Jacket."
***
When Junzi reached the bottom of Liu Kan’s apartment building, she checked her phone for the group text to see which unit it was. Chang Ying, who was helping wash vegetables in the kitchen, opened the window and tossed a freshly thawed fish ball down. It hit Junzi squarely on the top of her head. "Stop scrolling. Second floor, 201. Come up."
Junzi clutched her head and looked up, meeting Chang Ying’s grinning face. She brandished the fish ball at him and entered the building. Consequently, she missed Liu Kan’s teasing remark from inside the window: "Oho, Brother Chang’s wife is here~"
***
By 7:00 PM, Yuan Guo was already lying in bed, lacking the energy to do anything. The lights were off, and she hadn't eaten. Qin Ke, rarely home, saw her staring blankly into the darkness of her bedroom. He stood at the door wearing an apron and holding a spatula. "Practicing immortality?"
Yuan Guo gave him a resentful look and buried herself under the covers. Then, she began kicking the blanket violently, thrashing about like a demon trying to break a seal. It was unclear what kind of inner fire she was trying to vent.
Qin Ke ignored her and went back to his stir-fry.
After stifling herself under the blanket for a few minutes, Yuan Guo heard him leave. she poked her head out and checked her phone. There was a text from Liu Kan: *Have you eaten? We’re having hotpot at my place. Lucky you didn't come, the beef slices aren't very fresh.*
For the past two months, Liu Kan had been texting her constantly—humble texts, righteous texts, texts trying to move her with logic and emotion... Yuan Guo hadn't replied to a single one, deleting them as they came.
Today’s text was suddenly calm. He didn't mention getting back together; it was just a mundane, slice-of-life message, and it left Yuan Guo feeling a bit muddled.
She felt restless, wanting to scream and stomp her feet. The aroma of egg-fried rice wafted from the kitchen. Qin Ke didn't care if she was hungry or not; he had started eating. Yuan Guo hopped off the bed and walked barefoot into the living room. Without even looking at the eating Qin Ke, she crouched down and began rummaging under the TV cabinet.
"What are you looking for?" Qin Ke finally asked.
"Nail clippers." Yuan Guo rifled through the drawers and found a metal tin. She didn't trim her nails often; when they got long, she usually went to a salon for a simple nude manicure. Qin Ke organized everything in the house, so if she didn't use an item frequently, she had no idea where it was kept.
"They’re not in there. I’ll get them for you." Qin Ke stood up and walked over.
Yuan Guo was quick. She had already opened the tin and pulled out a photograph. She stared at it, her back to him. Qin Ke saw it too and fell silent for a moment.
"Brother." Yuan Guo’s voice trembled slightly as she pointed at the photo. "Why do you have a picture of Junzi?"
It was an old photograph. The girl in it wore a floral dress, her black hair long and flowing. She was smiling with her lips pressed together, her features strikingly similar to Junzi’s, yet different upon closer inspection. Standing beside her was a handsome young man with a facial structure similar to Qin Ke’s, wearing a flight jacket popular in the 70s or 80s, his arm around the girl’s waist.
Because the resemblance was so uncanny, Yuan Guo had reflexively identified the girl as Junzi. But on second thought, that was impossible. If it were Junzi, who was the man beside her?
Qin Ke didn't answer. Yuan Guo stood up abruptly, holding the photo to the light. "No, this isn't Junzi."
The living room lights weren't on; only the light from the kitchen spilled over. Qin Ke stood with his back to the light, slowly taking the photo from Yuan Guo’s hand. He crouched down, placed it back in the old biscuit tin, and tidied the drawer she had made a mess of. Then he returned to the table to continue his dinner.
Yuan Guo followed him and pulled out a chair opposite him.
"Brother." Yuan Guo rarely called him "Brother." This was the second time today, and her voice was still shaking. "Say something."
Qin Ke ate his fried rice. As he chewed, he picked a piece of eggshell out of his mouth—he hadn't cracked the egg properly earlier.
"That’s Tan Shuixian. Oh, wait. She probably doesn't go by that name anymore. She changed it to Tan He. One is a river, the other is a sea. A good match, wouldn't you say?" Qin Ke’s tone was indifferent.
Yuan Guo’s head throbbed. *A river and a sea, a good match.* She knew Qin Ke’s father was named Qin Hai. That meant...
Yuan Guo swallowed hard, finding it difficult to believe.
Qin Ke stood up. "There’s a bit left in the pot. Want a bowl?"
Yuan Guo looked up at him. "Then, your feelings toward Junzi...?"
Qin Ke held his empty bowl, his back to her as he scooped more rice. "What kind of person do you take me for?"
Yuan Guo felt dizzy. After a long pause, she said, "Wait, that’s not right. Junzi told me her mother died of heart disease."
Qin Ke’s hand paused, and a few grains of rice spilled onto the stove. "Is that so? She must have lied to you."
"Junzi never lies," Yuan Guo said firmly.
Qin Ke nodded, not bothering to argue, but his nod was perfunctory. When he was dismissive, his rogue-like edge came out.
Seeing this, Yuan Guo stood up suddenly. "I’m serious. Brother, I know you hate... you hate the two of them. But the grudges of the previous generation have nothing to do with Junzi. You can't do anything bad to her! She’s my best friend!"
Qin Ke turned around and saw Yuan Guo biting her lip, her face flushed red. He gave a small smile. "What have I done? Hmm? My little heroine?"
Yuan Guo fell silent.
Qin Ke set the half-bowl of fried rice in front of her. "Sit down and eat."
***
The hotpot at Liu Kan’s was attended by the usual basketball crowd, some of whom had brought their girlfriends. Seven or eight people were gathered around the table.
As soon as Junzi entered, she handed Liu Kan his birthday gift. "Jay Chou’s new album."
Liu Kan paraded the CD around the living room and kitchen. "Look! Just look! See how great Sister Tan is? Now look at the rest of you!"
Junzi was curious. "What did they give you?"
Liu Kan pointed at Chang Ying. "Your childhood friend over here gave me body wash. It was on sale at the supermarket for three-fifty. He didn't even peel off the discount sticker before giving it to me."
He then pointed at the boys playing video games on the sofa. "An eraser, a roll of toilet paper, a lip balm..."
Junzi laughed so hard she slapped the table. "In that case, give me the Jay Chou album back. I regret it. Here, take this instead." She pulled out a crumpled bus ticket.
"Damn, Sister Tan, you’re brutal. You two as a couple..." Liu Kan’s tongue slipped, and he was about to continue when Chang Ying kicked him. "The water’s boiling. Hurry up and tell everyone to eat."
Junzi blinked. *As a couple?*
Chang Ying ruffled her hair. "Did that fish ball knock the sense out of you? Come and sit." He pulled out a chair for her and patted it, signaling her to sit down.
Junzi was the type of person with zero alcohol tolerance. Her father, Tan Zhengqi, liked to have half a jigger of white liquor with lunch. Once, when she was in elementary school, he had teased her: "Junzi, here, have a taste." He had let her taste a drop from a chopstick.
The spice of the liquor made Junzi feel like steam was coming out of her ears. She had collapsed that afternoon, missed her classes, and slept straight through until evening.
So, when Liu Kan brought out the fruit beer, Junzi declined and chose coconut milk instead.
"Sure you don't want to try? It’s delicious, lychee flavored. There’s almost no alcohol in it; it’s just like juice. You definitely won't get drunk," Liu Kan persisted.
"I’ll just have a sip, then." Junzi took a sip of Chang Ying’s, then another... It was too good. She couldn't help herself and ended up finishing the whole can.
By the end of the meal, Junzi had finished three cans.
When they left Liu Kan’s place, Junzi followed Chang Ying obediently to the bike rack. As Chang Ying unlocked his bike, he realized something was off. She was being unusually compliant, like a little mushroom following him around. It was a far cry from the formidable Tan Junzi he knew.
Chang Ying reached out and tilted her chin up. In the moonlight, her eyes were watery and her face was flushed.
"Tan Junzi?" he asked.
"Hmm~?" Junzi sounded strangely cheerful, her voice trailing off with a lilt.
"You’re drunk," Chang Ying concluded.
"Mm-hmm." Junzi nodded repeatedly. Looking at her like this, Chang Ying was certain she was wasted.
"My legs are soft," she said slowly.
Chang Ying pulled the bike out and hesitated. He didn't want her sitting on the back rack in her state, fearing she might fall off.
"Sit on the front, then." Chang Ying pointed to the crossbar. He figured if she sat in front of him, he could keep an arm around her to steady her.
"Okay." Junzi hopped on obediently.
Just as Chang Ying was about to start pedaling, Junzi looked up at him, her face full of grievance. "My butt hurts."
Chang Ying took a breath, thought for a moment, and lifted her down. "Get off for a second." He locked the bike back up at the bottom of Liu Kan’s building.
He stood in front of her and crouched down. "I’ll carry you. Come on, get on."
Junzi climbed onto his back. "I’m standing up now," he said, rising with her. He gave her a few upward jolts to make sure she was secure.
It was a three or four-stop walk home. Fortunately, it was autumn, so their clothes weren't too thick, and the evening air was cool and refreshing.
"Am I heavy?"
"Very. You must weigh at least five or six hundred pounds," Chang Ying joked.
"Hahahaha!" Junzi’s laughter boomed in his ear. She wasn't even offended.
"How much further?"
"A long way." Chang Ying answered casually.
"How long is 'a long way'?"
"As far as a lifetime, I suppose."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Hey." Junzi leaned close to his ear, sounding mysterious. "Why did Liu Kan call us a 'married couple' today?"
"..." Chang Ying was now absolutely certain she was drunk. He didn't want to answer, so he deflected. "Why do you think?"
"Yuan Guo says I like you."
Chang Ying stopped walking. His voice was slightly hoarse. "Is she right?"
Junzi kicked her legs as if she were urging a horse. "Go! Why did you stop?"
Chang Ying resignedly started walking again, but he didn't let the topic drop. "I’m asking you."
"Asking what?"
"......Never mind."
After a long while, Junzi leaned in again. "I don't know. But I don't like anyone else."
Chang Ying’s hands shook, nearly dropping her.
By the time he regained his composure, Junzi had already fallen asleep on his back.
***
In the middle of the night, Yuan Guo tossed and turned. She sent Junzi a text, tentatively asking, "How was dinner?" but received no reply. Unable to sleep, she went to the living room for a glass of water and found Qin Ke smoking on the balcony. After a moment’s thought, she walked over and pushed the door open. Qin Ke looked at her. Yuan Guo stood in the doorway, her head lowered. "Brother..."
"What is it?"
"..."
"Speak."
"I’m sorry. I shouldn't have thought of you that way tonight."
Qin Ke nodded and flicked his ash into a withered flowerpot. "It’s fine." Seeing her still standing there, he said, "Go back to sleep. Close the door, or the mosquitoes will get in. I’ll head to bed after this cigarette."
He watched her leave, then smoked three more. He usually had a habit, but it had never been this bad.
The first time he saw Tan Junzi, he had thought it couldn't be such a coincidence. She just looked like her; she couldn't be that woman’s child.
Until he saw her ID and realized her surname was Tan.
To say he had no ulterior motives at first would be a lie. He had harbored some very dark thoughts. He felt that fate bringing him to Tan Junzi was a hint for revenge—an act of providence. The opportunity was right there.
So, he began to pay extra attention to her, observing her. She never noticed. She was quite pure, sometimes a bit silly, a bit blunt. Overall, an interesting girl.
At the gym and at school, he had many chances to get close to her, but he had held back. He was conflicted. One moment he was determined, the next he hesitated. The reason for his hesitation was simple: Tan Junzi was innocent. His hatred was for Qin Hai and Tan Shuixian; what did that have to do with her? If hurting Junzi would have caused Tan Shuixian even an ounce of pain, the woman wouldn't have abandoned her family to elope with Qin Hai in the first place.
Once he found peace with that, Qin Ke realized he had fallen into another trap. He found himself caring about Tan Junzi far too much.
Was it because of that face? But shouldn't he loathe that face? She looked so much like Tan Shuixian.
A sentence like a curse echoed in his mind. The more he tried not to think about it, the clearer it became, making him feel physically ill: *Like father, like son—your tastes really are the same.*
That self-analysis disgusted him.
To disprove that thought, he acted coldly toward her.
But he was no saint; he didn't have a will of iron. The more he tried to suppress the desire to be near her, the more violently it rebounded. So, from time to time, he would provoke her. Just a little nudge, before quickly withdrawing his hand, leaving her standing there in confusion.
*I really am twisted and pathetic,* Qin Ke thought, exhaling smoke into the autumn night sky. The stars were incredibly bright.
***
In the middle of the night, Chang Ying lay in bed, the words "I don't know, but I don't like anyone else" echoing in his mind. He repeated them over and over. He realized the corners of his mouth were turning up uncontrollably, and he didn't bother to stop them.
He replayed the night’s events, mentally walking the path from Liu Kan’s house to his own dozens of times, always with Junzi on his back.
Then, he thought of something. In his long, slow game of "fishing" for her heart, a careless remark from Liu Kan had turned out to be the most crucial bait. He felt a mix of joy and exasperation. His smile stiffened.
*Liu Kan, that idiot... actually comes in handy once in a while.*
***
The next morning, Junzi woke up with a pounding headache. She had absolutely no memory of how she had gotten home.
She saw the text Yuan Guo had sent the night before: "How was dinner?"
Holding her phone, she replied: "So-so. My stomach hurts now. The beef wasn't fresh."
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 幽灵船 | Ghost Ship | A 2002 horror film. |
| 桥梁工程师 | Bridge Engineer | Chang Ying's childhood dream. |
| 牵牛 | Qian Niu | A younger girl at the martial arts gym (Morning Glory). |
| 谈水仙 | Tan Shuixian | Tan Junzi's mother's original name (Water Lily). |
| 谈河 | Tan He | Tan Junzi's mother's current name (River). |
| 秦海 | Qin Hai | Qin Ke's father (Sea). |
| 金庸 | Jin Yong | Famous wuxia novelist. |
| 侠之大义，为国为民 | The great chivalry is to serve the country and the people | A famous quote from Jin Yong's novels. |
| 孔叔 | Uncle Kong | An old man mentioned by Officer Xiao Chen. |
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