No matter how slow on the uptake Tan Junzi might be, she understood exactly why the three of them had fought. She felt a complicated mix of emotions, caught somewhere between a heavy heart and a need to laugh.
It was a strange sensation—a blend of helplessness and a quiet sort of touched sentiment. Although she loved Chang Ying deeply and had never harbored feelings for anyone else, there was something profound about knowing other boys had held such beautiful, innocent feelings for her during their youth. From her perspective, while she could never reciprocate their feelings, she would never dream of mocking Qin Ke or Zhang Da for them.
The reason she had resorted to "domestic discipline" with Chang Ying was to make her stance clear. He had sent people to the hospital, after all (even if it wasn't entirely his doing); it wouldn't be right to let it slide without a word. Moreover, in the final analysis, she was a police officer.
Using half a ruler to swat him also carried a certain marital playfulness. For instance, even as he was being disciplined, Chang Ying wore an expression of utter satisfaction, as if having his palm rapped was merely a form of foreplay. He pulled her into his arms, pecking at her cheeks repeatedly like a persistent woodpecker, sighing, "My wife is so cute."
Dizzied by this elementary-school-style barrage of kisses, Tan Junzi didn't forget to add, "You’re a grown man now. You can't go around fighting anymore."
She hesitated for a moment before adding, "If someone bullies you, tell me. I’ll go beat them up. You aren't allowed to lift a finger."
Chang Ying’s smile was radiant. "Deal!" The feeling of being protected was incredible, especially when the protector was his wife, and especially when his wife was a cop. For the first time, he truly understood the nuance of the idiom "the fox borrowing the tiger’s authority."
Chang Ying didn't go into further detail about the fight. Between men, running to one's wife to tattle was simply unseemly. His upbringing also dictated that he shouldn't speak ill of Qin Ke and Zhang Da in front of Junzi. One thing had nothing to do with the other.
Besides, there wouldn't be a next time.
Tan Junzi had been the pretext for their fight, but she wasn't the sole cause. Over the years, countless petty grievances and frictions had accumulated, and they had needed a breaking point. All those murky, unspoken adolescent emotions and entanglements had been settled once and for all through that brawl. From now on, they were still brothers. They were adults; one fight was enough to clear the air, and the past would remain unspoken, understood in silence.
If one were to ask if Qin Ke and Zhang Da still truly loved Tan Junzi, Chang Ying didn't think so. It wasn't so much that they still loved her as it was that they had always been annoyed by Chang Ying—a lingering sense of resentment, a flash of occasional childishness between mature men.
The "Junzi" that Zhang Da and Qin Ke loved was an image they had mentally perfected when they were teenagers. The person they had fought over was that girl in a school uniform with a ponytail, braving the wind and rain.
Chang Ying was different. The Junzi he loved was the complete person—her virtues, her flaws, her past, and her future. He loved and cherished all of it.
And precisely because he loved her, he would never tell her about the things Qin Ke and Zhang Da had done—like the childish things they did or the immature words they said when they visited him after she left. He had that much discretion. It was the baseline of respect for everyone involved.
***
During the Lunar New Year, the police force was on a rotating break, and the two of them were rarely home at the same time.
Tan Junzi was in the kitchen heating milk. She had just taken out a ladle when she heard the show *Super Interview* playing on the television outside.
"Please welcome today's guests, Wu Jing and Xie Nan!" The host Li Jing’s signature raspy voice reached Junzi’s ears.
Ladle in hand, she dashed into the living room. Seeing Chang Ying about to change the channel, she let out a roar: "Don't change it! That's my idol!"
Chang Ying’s hand jerked, and he looked displeased. "Your 'male god' is right here on the sofa."
Tan Junzi’s eyes were glued to the TV as she sat down, shoving the ladle into his hand. "Then I’ll have to trouble my 'male god' to go keep an eye on the stove for me. Don't let it boil over."
Chang Ying took the ladle and stood up, watching as Junzi muttered to herself, "Even my idol has kids now. Tsk, tsk."
The song "Who is the Hero" began to play on the program, followed by the opening theme of the old series *Taiji Master* starring Wu Jing. A youth in fluttering white robes practiced Tai Chi atop the Great Wall.
Chang Ying observed Junzi closely and realized she wasn't disappointed. Instead, she shook her head with a sigh. "He was so handsome when he was young. Now he’s getting old too..."
Tan Junzi turned to see Chang Ying staring at her blankly. A sputtering sound came from the kitchen, and she gave him a shove. "Hurry up and turn down the heat! The milk is boiling over!"
She saw the aggrieved look on his face. "I just asked you to turn down the fire, why do you look so pitiful? Like a little punching bag."
Chang Ying’s voice drifted lazily from the kitchen. "If I have to take abuse, I’d rather it be the 'immortal breath' of my wife."
***
One day, while Tan Junzi was in a meeting with the special task force, Vice Captain Chen pushed the door open. He whispered something in her ear, and she immediately stood up and followed him out.
In the hallway.
"They caught her over in Xian City. Half of her right pinky is missing. She confessed to everything before they even started the interrogation." Seeing Junzi’s shoulders trembling, Chen Huan patted his subordinate on the back. "She was the one who kidnapped her back then. Over the years, hundreds of people passed through her hands, but she remembered Qianniu."
"She said they were near Meng County at the time. They took their eyes off her for a second, and she jumped off the train..." Chen Huan’s face was grim, wearing the heavy expression of someone delivering bad news.
Tan Junzi didn't hear a single word Chen Huan said after that.
In her twenty-odd years of life, she had only seen one person jump off a train and survive: Jackie Chan.
And that was in the movies. In reality, setting aside whether one would survive the jump, the fact that there had been no contact for all these years spoke volumes. Furthermore, she had lived in Meng County for nearly four years and had never heard a whisper of news about Qianniu. She already had the answer in her heart, but she refused to believe it.
Seeing the color drain from Junzi’s face, Chen Huan didn't even have time to finish his sentence before she collapsed straight backward.
***
When Tan Junzi opened her eyes in the hospital, for a split second, she thought she had returned to the summer of her senior year.
The same hospital bed, the same Chang Ying peeling an apple.
She thought it was a dream.
Her first words were: "What year is it? 2011?" After asking, she looked down at her left arm. There was no cast. Her heart sank into a sudden, desolate slump.
Chang Ying gave a half-smile. If it were 2011, he might as well give up on life. He had finally managed to marry her; did he have to go through the whole process again? Impossible.
He thought back to what Officer Chen had told him earlier. Chen Huan had been full of apologies: "I hadn't even finished my sentence before she fainted. How can she be a criminal investigator with nerves like that?"
Tan Junzi turned to look at Chang Ying, enunciating every word: "Do you know? Qianniu jumped off a train back then, near Meng County."
Chang Ying tossed the apple peel into the trash and nodded. "Right. And then she had amnesia for six years. Later, she assisted an undercover cop for two years to take down a local criminal syndicate. Right now, she’s standing right outside your room."
With that, Chang Ying helped Junzi sit up. Qianniu walked into the ward. "Junzi."
***
In elementary school, teachers often assigned a specific type of homework: take an egg and protect it carefully for a whole day to see if it remained intact by evening.
At the time, the teacher said this was to teach everyone how fragile and precious life is.
Back then, many of her classmates' eggs were smashed before noon. Tan Junzi had looked after hers perfectly all day. She headed home excitedly after school, but on the way, she was so happy that she started skipping. The egg bounced out of the side of her backpack and shattered on the ground.
She had been devastated.
Later, when she grew up and thought back on it, she realized it wasn't an education on the preciousness of life. It was an education on the brokenness of life.
It was just like what Instructor Liu had told her at the boot camp: as the days go by, people slowly realize that for most of us, life isn't a series of dramatic highs and lows or a spectacular display. The state of existence for most is: not particularly bitter, but not particularly sweet either. Hardships come in waves, but they eventually pass.
We all come into this world as a whole, perfect egg. Eventually, some stones will come along and smash you to pieces. You lie there on the ground, thinking it’s the end, that your yolk is ruined and your whites are running away from you, and that you’ll never get over this hurdle.
But then, life gives you a flame. You become a fried egg. Your shell is gone, but you’ve solidified again. And you’ve become delicious. So, when your shell breaks, you don't need to go around trying to collect the scattered shards. If it’s broken, it’s broken; throw it in the trash. You should go look for the fire, look for the salt, look for the black pepper...
When Tan Junzi returned from the army, she was already a fried egg reborn from the fire. Later, being with Chang Ying, she found her salt. Now that Qianniu was outside the ward, Junzi felt she had found her black pepper too. She really was a very lucky egg.
***
Qianniu explained that the reason she hadn't contacted anyone for the last two years was because she and Che Qian were on a mission and couldn't make contact. She said she was sorry and knew everyone was worried, but Che Qian had saved her life, and she couldn't place him in danger.
Qianniu also said that Che Qian was helping her apply for a special admission to the police academy. She wouldn't be staying in Tong City for long; she would soon be heading to North City with Che Qian to report for duty.
"But if you get married, I’ll take leave to come back for it, don't you worry! I’ll be your bridesmaid—I can even do it without wearing high heels!" Qianniu was now taller than Tan Junzi, but the way she spoke was exactly the same as it had been years ago. It made Junzi feel a sense of dazed nostalgia.
Not long after Qianniu went to North City, she sent Tan Junzi a short video.
In the video, she was wearing white martial arts robes with her hair in Chun-Li buns, practicing her forms on the Great Wall. Every move was precise and powerful, her strikes whistling through the air. The person holding the camera was likely a man; he was very tall, which made Qianniu’s legs look quite short in the frame.
As Qianniu practiced, the man behind the camera sang softly in a low, melodic operatic style as her white robes fluttered:
*The day has dimmed,*
*The moon is as it was,*
*Across a thousand miles of rivers, I fly free.*
*The song fades,*
*I look around,*
*Inviting the moon to sleep deep within the green mountains.*
*Who is the hero? None other than I.*
*Through a thousand hardships and ten thousand tolls,*
*Only to find your heart remains as it was...*
The Great Wall was crowded with people. Halfway through her form, a tour group waving a flag passed by her. An older woman in a sun hat bumped into her: "Move, move, move! So many people here, don't block the way!"
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
超级访问 | Super Interview | A popular Chinese celebrity talk show.
吴京 | Wu Jing | A famous Chinese actor and martial artist.
谢楠 | Xie Nan | A Chinese host and actress, Wu Jing's wife.
李静 | Li Jing | The host of *Super Interview*, known for her raspy voice.
太极宗师 | Taiji Master | A 1997 martial arts TV series starring Wu Jing.
英雄谁属 | Who is the Hero | The theme song of the TV series *Taiji Master*.
咸城 | Xian City | A fictional or specific city name.
盟县 | Meng County | A fictional or specific county name.
车乾 | Che Qian | A character name; likely an undercover police officer.
春丽头 | Chun-Li buns | "Ox horn" buns, a hairstyle popularized by the character Chun-Li.
戏腔 | Operatic voice | A singing style derived from traditional Chinese opera.
彤城 | Tong City | A fictional or specific city name.
北城 | North City | Likely referring to Beijing or a fictional northern city.
Enjoying the story? Rate this novel:
A Gentleman is Open-minded, While a Petty Person Sighs | Chapter 42 | The Heart of a Hero | Novela.app | Novela.app
