The pain of having one’s flesh carved and bones scraped is most often born from the loss of a companion who walked beside you, someone with whom you hoped to reach the end of life’s journey. No matter what role that person played, once they are imbued with such meaning, they become the flesh that cannot be spared, the bone that cannot be shorn. Yet, life rarely grants such satisfaction.
Even the smallest of wishes can be ruthlessly severed.
But once this has passed, how is one to face the next time, and the next, and the next, until it is finally one’s own turn?
Xin Jing felt that this was exactly what it meant to have flesh carved and bones scraped—over and over again, until he was shattered beyond repair, until there was no more flesh to be cut and no more bone to be stripped. Only then would this despair end.
Autumn arrived.
Xin Li sat atop a wooden fence, chewing on a blade of grass as he watched grasshoppers leap through the brush. This was his only remaining leisure; otherwise, he spent all his time stifled within the military camp.
The wind shifted above him. He nimbly ducked his head just as a long spear, trailing bits of grass, whistled past.
It was the spear "Named."
Sure enough, Xiao Yan poked her head out from behind him and glanced at his way. He returned a languid look, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, lightly grazing her cheek in the process.
His own spear, "Nameless," rested by his side. Xiao Yan placed Named next to Nameless. The two silver spears lay side by side, perfectly identical save for their weight.
"Nameless is the beginning of Heaven and Earth; Named is the mother of all things." These names had been given by his second brother. At the time, it had seemed like a casual dismissal, yet the young Xin Li had found it quite cool.
"There are no duties after tomorrow’s patrol. Want to go horse racing?" Xiao Yan’s smile was sweet and gentle, lifting Xin Li’s spirits considerably.
With the grass still in his mouth, he spoke with shameless nonchalance, his words entirely unrelated to the topic. "I want to kiss you."
Xiao Yan, who had been sitting beside him, flushed red and kicked his shin. "What nonsense are you talking about?"
"It’s not nonsense." Xin Li took the grass out of his mouth and leaned closer, grinning. "I really, truly want to kiss you."
He had a charming face, the kind of handsome that looked obedient and sweet. Whenever he smiled, he looked radiant and innocent, like a big boy who had never grown up. But now, though he was smiling, there was a quiet loneliness deep in his eyes; the vibrant spark of the "Chaos-Bringer" he once was had vanished.
No one spoke of the brother they had lost, yet everyone had changed.
"Fine," Xiao Yan whispered, smiling back. "Make it quick."
Xin Li leaned in gently, tilting his head slightly to press a fleeting kiss against those beautifully colored lips before pulling away. He even looked a bit flushed.
For a fellow who had carried a reputation for being a scoundrel his whole life, he was as clear as water when it came to the girl he loved.
Xiao Yan pursed her lips slightly, and the two sat on the fence, smiling at each other. The red sun was sinking; under the orange-red glow, they looked exceptionally beautiful.
Ji Baiyue noticed Xin Jing’s horse come to a halt. "The engineering team has—" He suddenly cut himself off.
Xin Jing was watching that beautiful scene.
After only a moment, he spurred his horse forward again. "The engineering team has what?"
"The engineering team is submitting the progress report on the Rouhui defensive wall." They had reached the command tent. Ji Baiyue followed Xin Jing inside before continuing, "Dayuan cavalry sightings have become frequent. I fear the battle we anticipated for early spring will be moved up to winter. We have been here for nearly half a year, and orders have come from the capital." He paused, his speech quickening. "Prince Ping will lead the Shanyin army to join our forces against the enemy."
Prince Ping and Shanyin were like blades striking at Xin Jing’s very limits. Yet he merely nodded, indicating he understood. Ji Baiyue retreated and sighed outside the tent.
Half a year ago, Xin Jing would still lie in the coffin where Xin Li was buried, his grief and joy laid bare. Now, standing here, he had become as indestructible as a sheet of iron.
Indestructible, and terrifying to behold.
***
This autumn passed with unusual speed. Perhaps because he no longer spent his days racing horses or chasing dogs, the Chaos-Bringer Xin Li felt a bit bored, and perhaps a bit lonely. He felt that at his age, he ought to stand tall like a man, to support his father and stand alongside his eldest brother as a pillar of the family.
After all, he no longer had his second brother’s protection.
His mother was ill as well; she had been sick ever since Xin Jing passed. Yet this seemingly fragile woman held onto her breath with gritted teeth, unwilling to show a shred of weakness to the jackals and wolves who preyed upon the lives of her husband and sons. If the day came when she had to walk into the Yellow Springs, it would only be when all paths were blocked, and she would end it by her own hand.
Though Xin Li never said a word about it.
He hated Prince Ping to death, hated the capital to death, and even hated that biological grandfather sitting upon the imperial throne. He hated them so much that he tossed and turned at night, staring at the frost-white window, imagining those people falling one by one before his eyes.
*Give my second brother back to me.*
When Xin Li suffered from insomnia, he would only silently repeat those words. He no longer bullied Xin Yi; instead, he taught Xin Yi to ride and patiently helped him learn to write. Like a true elder brother, he had completely transformed overnight.
Someone tapped his shoulder. Xin Li gave a tired glance; it was Meng Chen.
"The Uptown men." Meng Chen gestured with his chin toward a spot not far away. "They make me uneasy."
"Chou Deyao." Xin Li spoke the name of the leader from Shangjin. He tapped the butt of the spear Nameless with his toe, flipping the long spear into his palm. "Uptown, Uptown... without Beiyang, I’d like to see just how high he can go." He gave a thin, cold smile. "If he dares to turn his coat on the battlefield, I will kill him instantly."
"A-Li." Meng Chen frowned slightly, unfamiliar with such a murderous smile. "Your killing intent is too sharp. That is not a good thing."
"In the struggle of armies, how can one stand without killing?" Xin Li rubbed his eyes and yawned, dragging his spear as he walked back. "I heard Prince Ping is coming." He stopped at the tent entrance and suddenly looked back, his face devoid of any smile. "Brother Meng, I really want to kill him."
Meng Chen was speechless. Watching him lift the curtain and enter, he felt an instinctive sense of dread.
With a great war looming and the imperial decree from the capital preceding him, Prince Ping was wrapped in a layer of protection. Even though everyone in Beiyang wanted his life, no one could make a move at this time.
The weather grew colder. Just as the grass had mostly turned yellow, the Dayuan cavalry launched a surprise attack from the eastern side of Wild Mountain. Xin Li requested the command himself, taking his spear and leading his men to the front lines. With a murderous aura that seemed ready to slay even a Buddha, he broke the ambush into a rout. However, he did not turn back toward Rouhui; instead, he drove forward in pursuit.
Wild Mountain had turned the color of withered bone.
By the time Xin Li reached the far side of the mountain, the Beiyang troops he had brought were reduced to barely a thousand. Though his killing intent had grown, his mind was not clouded by it. Further ahead lay the borders of Dayuan; with the men he had left, he could not achieve anything significant.
He turned back.
But because of his pursuit over these past few days, the Shanyin army had already arrived at Rouhui. Now, Rouhui was a chaotic mix of Beiyang and Shanyin forces, with Chou Deyao of Shangjin wavering in his loyalties. It was no longer a safe place. If Xin Li had been more cautious, if he had left eyes in Rouhui or brought Meng Chen with him, perhaps there would have been a chance for a turn of events.
But he had not.
Xin Li returned to Rouhui, and Xu Hu met him to bring him into the city. The Shanyin troops in the city numbered about ten thousand, no match for the sixty thousand Beiyang soldiers. Yet Xin Li’s loathing for Shanyin had reached a point where merely hearing the name sparked a desire to kill. To calm himself and avoid causing trouble, he stayed in Rouhui for only three days of reorganization before preparing to redeploy to the Liyin defense line.
However, in the early hours of that day, the Dayuan heavy cavalry arrived. Tens of thousands of horses clad in heavy armor surrounded Rouhui; the moment they sensed a weakness, they would charge in like a collapsing sky.
Xin Li could not leave now.
Xu Hu stayed atop the walls to defend, while Xin Li led his men out of the city to meet the enemy. When organizing the ranks, there were a few Shanyin soldiers mixed in with the Beiyang troops, as many Beiyang soldiers had been diverted to reinforce the walls. Xin Li had no time to wait and charged straight out of the city.
In the year since he had been promoted to a commander, Xin Li’s most brilliant achievements had come from surprise raids. He possessed an incredibly keen instinct for distinguishing real ambushes from fake ones and a natural talent for spotting enemy vulnerabilities. Had he continued this way, his style would have complemented Xin Jing’s steady and solid defensive approach. Even if his killing intent prevented him from becoming a supreme commander, he would have made a name for himself as a fierce general of the borderlands.
Xin Li led the light cavalry, relying on their mobility and speed. He charged from the front, but the moment they met the Dayuan heavy cavalry, his force split in two. The light cavalry swept past the flanks, pinning the heavy cavalry from both sides and forcing their momentum to a halt.
Xin Li’s silver spear danced through the air, blood splattering his hands and armor. He knocked a heavy cavalryman from his horse, leaned over, and vaulted from his own mount onto the back of the enemy’s armored horse.
Xu Hu, seeing him raise a hand behind his back, immediately ordered: "Crossbows, draw! Fire!"
The sound of the heavy crossbows on the Rouhui battlements was enough to make one’s skin crawl. In an instant, short, sharp bolts whistled through the air, blanketing the trapped Dayuan heavy cavalry.
Every crossbowman was an expert, possessing eagle eyes and arm strength far beyond ordinary men; they were the core of Beiyang, trained by Ji Baiyue. Not a single bolt was wasted. They grazed the edges of helmets and pierced straight through the foreheads of the Dayuan soldiers.
Xin Li moved through this rain of arrows, harvesting those who slipped through the cracks. His expression was cold and ruthless, the tip of his spear wiped to a cruel brightness by the blood.
It was over. The Dayuan were pathetically foolish.
Xin Li reached for the blade of grass he had brought from Wild Mountain. But just as he was about to put it between his lips, the wind of an arrow came from behind. His silver spear whirled around, clanging as it knocked away the arrow aimed at his back.
He turned his head, his face heavy with shock.
The battlements of Rouhui were crowded with heavy crossbows. Every man standing behind them had sworn loyalty to Beiyang. Who had fired that shot?
Was it an accident, or intentional?
But it didn't end there. The Dayuan rear began to fire at him frantically. Xin Li didn't even have a chance to turn his horse. The scattered Dayuan heavy cavalry closed in, surrounding him alone. Curved sabers struck from all sides; Xin Li blocked them desperately.
Even if he could block the sabers, he could not block the arrows. Perhaps he could dodge the arrows coming from the front, but how could he dodge the cold bolts coming from his own people behind him?
From every direction, there was only sharpness.
The curved sabers of the heavy cavalry on both sides pressed down, pinning his silver spear. A long arrow from the Dayuan front drove straight into his chest, pinning Xin Li through.
He should have been able to move.
But his hands had been pinned to the spear Nameless by crossbow bolts from behind. He could not let go, could not move; he could only watch as the long arrow soared and tore through his chest.
Blood surged into his mouth, wave after wave, impossible to swallow.
The blood choked his throat. His open mouth held a thousand words, heroic declarations, and endless laments.
But he could not say a single word.
At the moment he fell from his horse, Xin Li thought with both relief and regret:
*How pathetic. Fortunately, she didn't come along.*
The Beiyang Wolf Flag on the ground was instantly soaked in blood. The wolf’s head turned a dark, bruised red, slumping heavily into the dirt, just like the young man lying upon it.
The sky was beginning to brighten, and fine snow drifted down sluggishly.
It was winter once again.
Xin Li, the third son of the Prince of Yan of Beiyang, died in battle at Rouhui in the early winter of the fifty-first year of Hongxing.
The Wolf Flag of Beiyang fluttered in the snow, one corner torn. The wolf on the fabric had lost its roaring tongue; it could only gaze out with cold, indifferent eyes.
It gazed upon the hundreds of thousands of miles of Beiyang’s winter, chilling the hearts of those who guarded it.
It was too cold.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 有名 | Named | The name of Xiao Yan's spear; a reference to the Tao Te Ching. |
| 无名 | Nameless | The name of Xin Li's spear; a reference to the Tao Te Ching. |
| 混世魔王 | Chaos-Bringer | Literally "World-Shaking Demon King," a common epithet for a rebellious or mischievous youth. |
| 仇徳耀 | Chou Deyao | A leader of the forces from Shangjin (Uptown). |
| 上津 | Shangjin | Translated as "Uptown" in context, referring to a specific faction or location. |
| 许虎 | Xu Hu | A subordinate officer in the Beiyang army. |
| 野山 | Wild Mountain | A geographical location near the border. |
