Amidst a Snowstorm of Love | Chapter 32 | A Heart Full of Longing | Novela.app

Chapter 32 - A Heart Full of Longing His parents were gone, and his younger brother had been given away to another family; Yin Guo was the only person left in this world he could truly call his own. Years ago, he hadn't been able to hold onto the only thing he cherished—his cue—but now, he wanted more than anything to keep Yin Guo by his side. But what did he have to offer her? His throat felt parched, a dry heat rising from his chest. He straightened up from the edge of the pool table, his movements heavy and deliberate. Instinctively, he picked up the cue leaning against the table and walked slowly toward the rack, placing it in the very last slot on the far right. With that final task complete, he gave a brief wave of his hand toward Li Qingyan without looking back and walked away. Lin Yiyang left the billiards room and stepped into the elevator, his vision blurring as he pressed the wrong floor button. Somehow, he found himself in the main lobby. Perhaps his subconscious was urging him to seek the open air. Outside, the torrential rain had finally begun to taper off into a light mist. The lobby was a hive of activity, filled with guests checking in and out. Among them were players who had been eliminated in the group stages earlier that day, clutching their cue cases and lugging suitcases as they waited for taxis under the hotel’s grand awning. When the brain is clouded by alcohol, the surrounding world begins to feel like a simulation. The boundaries between the past, the present, and the future dissolve into a hazy smear. *This is New York,* he thought, a sudden wave of confusion hitting him. *How did I end up here?* It felt as though only yesterday he had been drinking at some nameless roadside stall back home, getting so wasted that the kind owner had to drag him inside to sleep it off on a wooden bench. He remembered waking up in the middle of the night, reeking of cheap spirits, while the owner’s wife fussed over him, pulling off his school uniform and stuffing it into his messenger bag. *"Be careful not to let your teachers catch you,"* she had whispered. *"You'll get a disciplinary notice."* That "yesterday" was back in his hometown. "Today" was here, in New York. Lin Yiyang wasn't entirely sure how he managed to walk all the way to the Plaza Hotel. Before the rain had started, he had thought about coming here. There was a Lady M cake shop on the concourse level that he heard was excellent; he had wanted to buy something sweet for Yin Guo. He had even asked Wu Wei about it, only for Wu Wei to laugh and tell him that the brand had plenty of branches back in China—he couldn't impress a girl with that anymore. And yet, he still wanted to buy it for her. What if she hadn't tried it? This was the source, after all. Maybe the flavor would be better here. *** It was past ten o'clock. In her hotel room, Yin Guo was tossing and turning on her bed, unable to find peace. A sense of unease gnawed at her heart. Members from both pool clubs were gathered together, and it was the first time these old brothers had reunited for a proper drink in years. If they didn't show restraint, how much would they end up drinking? She pulled out her phone and sent a message to Lin Yiyang. No reply. She messaged Meng Xiaodong. Surprisingly, there was no response from him either. Finally, she reached out to Wu Wei. **Xiao Guo:** *How much have you guys had to drink? Neither my brother nor Lin Yiyang is answering.* **Whatever:** *Just come over. Room 1000.* *Go over there?* Yin Guo’s heart skipped a beat. It was rare for Wu Wei to be so brief. She quickly changed her clothes, grabbed her phone, and sprinted out the door. When she reached the door of Room 1000, she ran straight into a crowd of people pouring out. She spotted Li Qingyan and Xiaozi among them. Grabbing Xiaozi’s arm, she asked urgently, "Is Lin Yiyang inside?" "He is," Xiaozi started to say, looking like he wanted to add more. Yin Guo didn't wait to hear it. She pushed past the others, murmuring "Excuse me, sorry" as she squeezed through the throng of twenty or thirty people. When she finally made it into the suite, she found three men completely out of commission. Meng Xiaodong and Chen An’an were sprawled on the bed, one on each side, both fast asleep. Lin Yiyang was on the sofa, lying on his side. Wu Wei and the others had already changed him into a clean set of clothes—grey dress trousers and a white shirt, all borrowed from Jiang Yang. His collar was unbuttoned to help him breathe, and his head rested on his left arm. It was impossible to tell if he was asleep or merely drifting. Seeing him like this made Yin Guo’s heart ache with a sharp, rhythmic throb. It was normal for men to overindulge at a gathering, but seeing *him* like this was different. It hurt. She crept toward the sofa and knelt beside him, resting her palm against his forehead. It was damp with sweat. Noticing a wet towel draped over the arm of the sofa, she picked it up and gently wiped his face. "That cake... it won't taste good if it sits too long," Lin Yiyang murmured, his words stumbling out one by one, his speech thick and slurred. "Make sure... make sure someone delivers it to Xiao Guo." *What cake? Who cares about cake right now?* Yin Guo thought, her eyes stinging. *He’s in this state, and he’s still thinking about cake.* "Don't tell her I'm drunk," he whispered, his voice barely audible. Yin Guo laid the towel across her lap and used her fingers to brush the damp strands of hair away from his eyes. She remained silent, not wanting to disturb him. When someone is that drunk, the kindest thing you can do is give them a quiet space to sleep; they can't truly hear or remember anything you say anyway. Receiving no response, Lin Yiyang’s brow furrowed in displeasure. "Did you hear me?" Yin Guo felt a lump form in her throat. *Why are you so good to me? We’ve barely been together. Don't you know how to play hard to get? Don't you know how to be aloof? You're so handsome, yet you're such a fool when it comes to me. A big, silly fool.* She was overwhelmed with tenderness. "I know," she cooed softly, trying to soothe him. "I'll eat it right away." Hearing her voice, Lin Yiyang froze for a few seconds. Slowly, he forced his eyes open, his dark pupils reflecting her image. He stared at her as if he didn't quite recognize her at first. "You drank so much," she whispered. "Didn't anyone try to stop you?" He had a prominent brow bone and a high bridge to his nose, even by Asian standards. His eyes were classic "peach blossom" eyes with elegant double eyelids. Usually, he didn't look at people directly enough for them to notice how beautiful they were. But now, it was different. One look from him felt like he was reaching into her chest and pulling at her heart. It was no wonder so many girls were captivated by him. Yin Guo imagined him in the past—whether he was playing a match in a pool hall or just sitting on the front steps with a cigarette in his mouth—if he looked at a girl for even a moment, it would probably be enough to haunt her for a lifetime. The towel was getting cold. She moved to get up, intending to rinse it with warm water to wipe his face and hands again. Suddenly, Lin Yiyang’s right hand reached around the back of her neck, pulling her face close to his. He pressed his forehead against hers, his breath heavy with the scent of alcohol as he called her name: "Xiao Guo." His body was burning with the discomfort of the alcohol, and seeing her felt like a beautiful hallucination. He paused for a long time before asking, "Do you... do you have me in your heart now?" From that first kiss outside the apartment bathroom until today. They had been together for two weeks—fourteen days. *Yin Guo, do you truly have a place for me in your heart?* They weren't alone in the room. Fan Wencong and Wu Wei were still there, tending to the other two drunks. Jiang Yang had just brewed some tea and was bringing it in, hoping to chat with Yin Guo. All three of them heard his question. Lin Yiyang was a man of stubborn pride, a man who had once sabotaged his own life because he refused to bend. For such a man to ask a question like that... how much did he crave connection? How much did he doubt himself? And how much did he truly care for the girl in front of him? Before Yin Guo could say a word, he tugged at his shirt collar, clearly uncomfortable. He pressed the back of his hand over the upper half of his face, blocking out the light, and fell into a deep sleep within seconds. *What happened? He was so happy when he left...* Yin Guo knelt before the sofa for a long time, clutching the cooling towel. Once she was sure he was truly out, she stood up to check on Meng Xiaodong. When she turned back, Jiang Yang had placed a cup of hot tea on the round table for her. He picked up Lin Yiyang’s phone and set it down next to the tea with a wry smile. "Here, have a look." Yin Guo didn't understand. The phone screen was filled with photos of cakes—matcha mille-crepe, rose, classic crepe, and many more. Wu Wei chuckled and guided Yin Guo to a chair at the table, explaining the story behind the photos. In the middle of the night, Lin Yiyang had wandered out of the hotel and walked several blocks until he found the Plaza Hotel, determined to buy her a cake. The hotel was open, but the bakery on the lower level had long since closed for the night. By the time Wu Wei and Jiang Yang found him, Lin Yiyang was sitting on the steps outside the hotel entrance, tucked into a small corner against the wall, fast asleep. He looked no different from a homeless man. When they woke him up, he did only one thing: he shoved his phone into Wu Wei’s hand. He had saved all those photos while he was still somewhat lucid, and he demanded that Wu Wei go buy them. Once the phone was handed over, he completely lost consciousness. The two men couldn't even find a taxi, so they had to team up and carry him all the way back to the hotel. Back in the room, there were other drunks to deal with. They changed Lin Yiyang into clean clothes and went to tend to Meng Xiaodong and Chen An’an. They hadn't been paying attention, and Lin Yiyang had managed to finish off the remaining dregs in the bottles on the table. That was the final blow. He had consumed nearly two bottles of hard liquor. Based on Jiang Yang’s knowledge of him, he wouldn't be waking up for at least a full day and night. Initially, Wu Wei hadn't wanted to call Yin Guo down; he didn't want her to see Lin Yiyang in such a pathetic, drunken state. But Jiang Yang was still thinking about what Meng Xiaodong had mentioned earlier and wanted to talk to her. Wu Wei pointed to the empty bottles on the table. "I used his card to buy these, but I didn't dare buy the expensive stuff. This whole pile combined isn't worth as much as that one small glass he treated you to that first night." Yin Guo looked at the bottles. She had heard Lin Yiyang mention Chivas on the phone and assumed it was the expensive kind her cousin usually drank. Looking at them now, she realized they were just common, budget-friendly brands found on any supermarket shelf. "Lin Yiyang has truly put his heart into this relationship with you," Jiang Yang said gently. "More than just his heart. There’s so much you don't know," Wu Wei added, playing along with Jiang Yang. "How many years has it been since he left Dongxincheng? Nearly twelve years. In all that time, he has *never* played a game for money. This year was the only exception." Wu Wei looked at her intently. "Do you remember? He played that game for you." Yin Guo was stunned. First, by the fact that he had done it for her, and second—and more importantly—by the revelation that he didn't play for money. That night, she had asked him if he liked gambling on pool. He had only said "it's alright" and hadn't denied it. Later, even Meng Xiaodong had told her to advise Lin Yiyang against gambling if she got the chance. Clearly, everyone had misunderstood and assumed he relied on it for his living expenses. "If he really gambled, would he be this poor?" Wu Wei said with a smile. "Back in Flushing, he didn't take a single cent for himself. He had it all sent to his classmate’s account." A single game that night was worth three thousand dollars. If he played a few times a week, he would have been wealthy long ago. He wouldn't be living such a modest life. Yin Guo turned her gaze back to the man sleeping on the sofa. "You aren't from Dongxincheng, so you probably don't know," Jiang Yang continued. "When my teacher first accepted him into the club, they had a three-part agreement: no gambling, no match-fixing, and no breaking the law." That was the beginning. Jiang Yang wanted her to know the whole story. That year was Lin Yiyang’s fourth year as a professional. He had hit a plateau, entering a sudden and inexplicable slump. He was a teenage prodigy who had won two national championships in three years, but every athlete, no matter how gifted, faces peaks and valleys. Usually, if you can survive the valley, you reach an even higher peak. Unfortunately, Lin Yiyang was too sharp, too arrogant. Falling into that abyss was a shock to his system. He lost several crucial frames in major matches back-to-back. Slowly, rumors began to circulate that he was taking money to fix matches. The gossip grew, and he was met with disdain from his peers. Already suffering through his slump, he became the subject of ridicule in the locker rooms. After another loss, he had a massive blowout with his teacher and left the club for good. Then, in his final professional match, he got into a confrontation with the referee and was slapped with a six-month suspension. After those six months, Lin Yiyang vanished from the circuit. In truth, everyone knew he had given up the moment he walked out of Dongxincheng that night. "...But why didn't he explain? Didn't Teacher He believe him?" "Because," Jiang Yang said, revealing a secret only the closest brothers knew—something they had only discovered in Teacher He’s office that very day, "he actually *did* play a money game with someone on the street. He was in the wrong." "It was because he was broke," Wu Wei added. "That half-year, he really had nothing. His brother had just been given away to relatives, and he wanted to go see him, but he couldn't afford the train ticket. He told me later that he thought he’d just do it once—just enough to buy a ticket to see his brother for his birthday. He figured whatever was left over could buy some workbooks to help him catch up on his English and Math." Over the years, the brothers had always felt a pang of sorrow whenever they spoke of it. If only Lin Yiyang hadn't been so prideful, if only he could have lowered himself to borrow money from them, things might have been different. As a child, Yin Guo had often heard her cousin talk about how, when the industry was struggling, players would resort to extreme measures to survive. A domestic player without commercial sponsorship might only earn twenty or thirty thousand yuan a year. They had to travel for matches, buy their own clothes, and maintain their equipment. Meng Xiaodong had a friend who, the night before a tournament in Quanzhou, played a money game just to afford a hotel room. He lost everything and ended up sleeping in the pool hall before going straight to his match the next morning. If adult players faced such hardships, how much harder must it have been for Lin Yiyang, who was barely in high school? He had made a mistake. But no one had given him a chance to fix it, and he hadn't given himself one either. *** Sunlight spilled across his face. Lin Yiyang reached out to his right, searching for water, momentarily forgetting he wasn't in his apartment. At this height and angle, there should have been a nightstand with a glass of water he usually prepared for himself after drinking. When his hand met only empty air, he paused, his mind slowly clearing. *Right. A hotel.* What time was it? Was it the next day? Or the day after? He vaguely remembered waking up once when it was still dark. The room had been empty. He had felt disgusted by the smell of stale alcohol on his skin and, fearing that Yin Guo would be repulsed when she returned from her match, he had forced himself to take a shower. He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was her. Yin Guo was hugging a pillow, lying in the white duvet beside him, her face turned toward him. He couldn't quite make out what she was wearing—something dark, maybe a deep blue or black oversized T-shirt. "You're awake?" she asked softly. She looked like a porcelain doll, the kind with dimples. He remembered seeing them at temple fairs when he was a kid, though those dolls usually had red spots painted on their cheeks, and she didn't. "We were worried you'd slept yourself into a stupor," she said, waving a small hand in front of his eyes. "Are you really out of it?" His arm, the one covered in the intricate star-map tattoo, reached out and pulled her closer. He tucked her head into the crook of his neck, his voice low and raspy. "If I don't teach you a lesson... I really won't be able to handle you." *** **Glossary**