Ruan Qiuji looked back to see Qi Bailu kneeling on the floor, using his phone’s flashlight to peer under the sofa. He flipped through a few more pages of the notebook and found these two lines:
*Every word the psychiatrist says, I forget almost instantly. I forget the moment I step out the door. He asks me what I think love is; I don’t want to say. He says I’m evading; I know I’m not.*
Further down, a single line stood out: *Without a sense of shame, there is no love.*
Having caught an inadvertent glimpse into Qi Bailu’s inner world, Ruan Qiuji felt a flicker of surprise. He read the sentence once more, carefully. Seeing Qi Bailu preparing to stand up out of the corner of his eye, he closed the notebook and tucked it back into the crevice of the sofa.
Qi Bailu rubbed his reddened knees and asked if he had found it. Ruan Qiuji shook his head. Qi Bailu continued his search, pacing about, only to find Ruan Qiuji standing still, watching him silently.
Strange. Everything that had happened tonight was strange. Qi Bailu shot him a wary look and moved to flip over the cushions of the other armchair.
"I didn't sit there," Ruan Qiuji remarked.
The button had vanished completely, as if swallowed by the air itself. Hearing their movements, Rangna rolled over and pricked up her ears to eavesdrop. Qi Bailu looked at her lying there as lazily as a noblewoman and thought to himself that he wasn't even as well-off as a cat. Just as he withdrew his gaze, he suddenly looked back a second time. He tugged at Ruan Qiuji’s sleeve and pointed. "Is that it?"
Picking up the white mother-of-pearl button from Rangna’s cushion, Ruan Qiuji found it rather amusing. Qi Bailu, exasperated by the cat’s lack of character, scooped her up and tossed her into the bedroom for a stint in solitary confinement. Neither of them knew if the button had fallen and been picked up by Rangna, or if she had mischievously bitten it off herself.
Qi Bailu saw Ruan Qiuji to the door and lent him an umbrella. He had expected their reunion to be a cataclysmic collision, but now that they were parting, it felt like nothing much at all—like two balls on a billiard table lightly clicking against each other. The internal vibration was invisible.
Before leaving, Ruan Qiuji said, "I’ll return the umbrella to you soon."
"Keep it."
Ruan Qiuji glanced at the Pikachu pattern on the umbrella’s canopy. "Are you going to Shanghai this weekend?"
"How did you know—"
Qi Bailu suddenly realized. *Raging Springs*, the film he had shot two years ago, had been shortlisted for the Shanghai International Film Festival. Ruan Qiuji was the investor for *Raging Springs*; of course he knew Qi Bailu would be in Shanghai.
Ruan Qiuji gave him a smile that wasn't quite a smile, then turned and walked away, carrying the umbrella and the bag containing his suit.
Qi Bailu watched him disappear into the distance before lowering his head to close the door. The *click* sounded like a bullet chambering.
Meeting in public was inevitable. If the Shanghai International Film Festival were just a common event, he could have skipped it. Thinking of this, he suddenly wondered: did he really want to avoid Ruan Qiuji that much? Because seeing him had stirred the stagnant waters of the past into a new turbulence.
May and June were perhaps the best months for film festivals. Stars of all calibers donned suits and gowns to compete in elegance; luxury cars and fine horses created a bustling scene of coming and going. Qi Bailu arrived in Shanghai on the first day. The crew of *Raging Springs* was set to walk the opening ceremony red carpet, and the producer wanted him there for promotion. Originally, the film was intended for international festivals, but it had been shelved until now because of his scandals. Since the lead actor, Dai Ping, was currently enjoying a surge in popularity from a hit variety show, the production company struck while the iron was hot to re-launch the movie.
During a break on the red carpet for interviews, Qi Bailu stood near the center position due to his role as the second male lead. Xue Fang looked after him throughout the process, and the media gave him plenty of live coverage. However, when a reporter asked, "What made you take this role back then?" Qi Bailu lowered his eyes and paused for a moment.
There were ten films in the main competition unit, only two of which were domestic. *Raging Springs* wasn't scheduled for screening until the day after tomorrow, so on the second day, Qi Bailu went with Xue Fang to watch screenings of other films. Most A-list stars were resting in their hotels to avoid being mobbed by fans, so the two of them enjoyed their freedom. Xue Fang queued up with him to enter the theater, replying to messages on his phone while asking Qi Bailu how he felt.
"I don't have to wear sunglasses to go out anymore," Qi Bailu replied. Xue Fang simply laughed.
What they didn't expect was that while the media no longer cared to photograph Qi Bailu, they were quite keen on snapping Xue Fang. Among young directors, Xue Fang had the strongest momentum. His films over the past two years had been both critically acclaimed and commercially successful. Having directed a high-grossing commercial film, and possessing decent looks and a humble personality, he had garnered a lot of goodwill among the younger generation and was seen as a beacon of hope by the audience.
Consequently, by the time they finished the movie, a piece of news broke through the red carpet photos: *Fans encounter Director Xue watching a movie with his girlfriend.* When Qi Bailu saw the headline, he thought to himself that Xue Fang actually had a girlfriend. But when he clicked on the photo, he was stunned to find that the person in the picture was himself.
It wasn't surprising that a passerby had mistaken him. The person in the photo had long hair, wore a baseball cap and a mint-green T-shirt, and had a frame more slender than the average male. At a glance, he did indeed look more like a girl. They had been photographed while entering the theater for the *Dollars Trilogy*; at the time, Xue Fang had been showing him a chat message on his phone, and they were standing very close. From a side profile, they did look intimate.
This blunder persisted all afternoon. By evening, someone uploaded a high-definition video from the front, leading to cries of surprise: *What girlfriend? Isn't that Qi Bailu?* Someone else asked, *Could it be a boyfriend then?* Thus, as the media passed the story around, it somehow morphed into a romance between the two, claiming sparks had flown while they were filming together.
Cheng Wenhui, Peng Yiyi, and others who hadn't contacted him in ages couldn't resist sending him question marks. Qi Bailu had a few question marks of his own he wanted to send. Xue Fang issued a serious clarification on social media, stating he was just out with a friend and so on.
Qi Bailu didn't think about how Ruan Qiuji would react to the news—one could say he hadn't considered it at all. After all, it was Ruan Qiuji who had given him the opportunity to work with Xue Fang on *Raging Springs* in the first place.
On the day of the *Raging Springs* premiere, a light rain fell. The steps at the cinema entrance were a bit slippery, and he stumbled, but fortunately, Xue Fang was beside him and caught his hand in time. Qi Bailu sat in the front row with the rest of the crew. Dai Ping and the supporting actress had already seen the dailies, but this was his first time. Immersed in the darkness, watching his two-year-younger self, he felt as if a lifetime had passed.
Pan Xiaoyun’s first appearance had been changed to him riding a motorcycle on the street, drawing low gasps from the entire audience. The lighting and makeup made his profile look exceptionally cold and stern, not quite like Qi Bailu’s usual self. From beginning to end, although Pan Xiaoyun’s scenes had been cut significantly—nearly demoting him to the third male lead—the editor had preserved all the highlights. When the lights came up, Xue Fang leaned close to his ear and asked, "Is this version of the edit okay?"
Despite many regrets, Qi Bailu believed the production team had done their best. He picked up his Coke bottle, ready to leave, and said to Xue Fang behind him, "The editor was merciful." His gaze drifted back as he spoke, looking at Xue Fang’s face, but as he swept his eyes back, he sensed someone watching him. He looked closer and saw Ruan Qiuji. He was sitting in the middle of the fourth row, wearing a conventional black suit, toyed with a pair of amber-tinted sunglasses in his hand.
Qi Bailu had long expected to run into Ruan Qiuji during these few days, so seeing him at the movie wasn't particularly shocking. After locking eyes for a moment, he withdrew his gaze and continued walking forward. Ruan Qiuji sat there, watching him leave. The main cast had to go on stage for the premiere ceremony; Ruan Qiuji likely knew this.
Once he took the microphone and stood under the spotlights, Qi Bailu could see Ruan Qiuji in the audience at a single glance. Fortunately, Ruan Qiuji didn't do anything to provoke him, merely sitting there watching quietly. The entire event passed without incident, though Qi Bailu couldn't help but catch glimpses of his face whenever the photographer reminded him to look at the front lens.
Next, they had to go to a lounge for an exclusive interview with a print media outlet. This time, Ruan Qiuji left first. When they went out, the corridor was filled with flower baskets and many people waiting to deliver flowers—mostly fans of Dai Ping, though some were for the director and the supporting actress. Qi Bailu thought none of it concerned him, but after a few steps, a large bouquet of champagne roses was thrust into his arms. The person delivering them was a security guard in uniform, who tipped his cap to indicate his job was done.
Several people nearby turned to look at him. Even Dai Ping, who was busy signing autographs, stopped and raised an eyebrow. It was rare for someone to send roses on such an occasion. Qi Bailu felt a rare moment of embarrassment. Only when he reached the lounge did he take out the card tucked in the bouquet. It read: *Cinema is an absurdity; do not be a knight alone.*
There was no signature, but after reading it twice, he recognized Ruan Qiuji’s handwriting.
It was phrased so loftily and cryptically, as if he understood him perfectly. People began trickling through the door. Qi Bailu folded the card and hid it in his palm. He suddenly remembered his sophomore year when they performed an adaptation of *Don Quixote*. That was also the last time he participated in a class performance. He had been exhausted but happy that day. After a meal with classmates at Wudaokou, he had seen Zheng Kunyu’s car. Upon returning, Zheng Kunyu happened to be drunk and looking for trouble; they had a massive row, and Zheng Kunyu finally agreed to let him drop out of school. Only later did he learn that Zheng Kunyu had watched that performance.
It wasn't just cinema that was absurd; everything was absurd. What was even more absurd was that these words came from the mouth of a businessman who made money from movies. Qi Bailu stuffed the card into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled himself together to look at the producer who was calling his name.
The entire crew was busy until ten at night before returning to the hotel. Upon entering his room, Qi Bailu tossed the bouquet of champagne roses in the entryway and went to shower. While packing his luggage afterward, he saw Xue Fang’s T-shirt and sent him a message: "I brought the shirt you left at my place. Should I bring it over, or will you come get it?"
Xue Fang replied with a room number a few minutes later. Qi Bailu went downstairs to deliver it. He held the paper bag and waited for the elevator. Since one was already coming down, he focused on waiting for that trip. The hotel was mostly filled with people attending the film festival; it was normal to bump into a colleague every few steps. But when the elevator doors slowly slid open and Qi Bailu was about to step inside, he saw the people within and realized this was not normal at all.
Ruan Qiuji was talking to a female star. In front of them were the star’s agent and a photographer. The group seemed to be coming down from the executive lounge on the top floor. Seeing someone at the door, they stopped their conversation.
Qi Bailu first recognized Cheng Wenhui’s face before looking past him to see Ruan Qiuji behind him. Perhaps due to the hard work, Qi Bailu felt Cheng Wenhui had even less hair than when he was managing him.
The air went silent for a moment. It was Cheng Wenhui who spoke first, calling out, "Xiao Qi...?"
Qi Bailu met Ruan Qiuji’s eyes. Perhaps because Ruan Qiuji had been looking down and had no expression, the way he looked up now was like a dagger flashing its blade.
The people in the elevator had clearly been drinking, likely at a social function in the executive lounge. Qi Bailu had intended to wait for the next one, but Cheng Wenhui made room for him and greeted him. "Which floor are you going to?" he asked, reaching out to press the button for him.
Qi Bailu didn't want to trouble him and stepped into the elevator to press the button himself, only to find that his floor had already been selected. Not knowing who among them was going there, his finger hovered hesitantly over the panel.
Cheng Wenhui stole a few more glances at Qi Bailu. Having worked together for so long, his gaze carried the look of someone checking to see if the green onions in his own yard had grown taller. Seeing Qi Bailu standing quietly in the corner as if he didn't want to talk, Cheng Wenhui belatedly remembered that Ruan Qiuji was standing right behind them.
One couldn't blame Cheng Wenhui for being insensitive; his current boss hadn't been in contact with Qi Bailu for a long time. He subconsciously assumed the two no longer had any relationship. But seeing Qi Bailu’s demeanor, he seemed to be deliberately avoiding something. Cheng Wenhui pondered this and stole a glance back at Ruan Qiuji, only to see Ruan’s gaze fixed on Qi Bailu’s ear. Qi Bailu’s long hair just reached his shoulders, veiling his profile; it wasn't fully tucked back, so from behind, only a sliver of a thin earlobe was visible.
Two years, Cheng Wenhui thought. His son in elementary school had grown a head taller in that time, and a new batch of celebrities had risen in the industry. Ruan Qiuji did not seem like a man content with loneliness.
Fortunately, Qi Bailu only had to go down five floors to reach Xue Fang’s level. When the doors opened, he nodded to Cheng Wenhui and stepped out first, not looking to see who followed. But when he heard the steady, unhurried sound of leather shoes behind him, he knew instantly who it was.
Qi Bailu felt as if he had been walking for an eternity without reaching his destination, and Ruan Qiuji hadn't returned to his own room either. This gave him the absurd sensation of being stalked, as if the person behind him would seize him by the throat and drag him away the moment he let his guard down.
They walked in silence. The closer they got to the target room number, the more uneasy Qi Bailu became. Just as they reached the door, he finally couldn't help but turn around, stopping to ask Ruan Qiuji what he was doing following him. Before he could speak, Ruan Qiuji maintained his pace and walked past him, taking the lead. He looked back and asked, "You're following me—do you have business with me?"
"?"
Qi Bailu’s eyes widened. Was he crazy, or was Ruan Qiuji? Wasn't it Ruan Qiuji who was following him? He said in a tone as relaxed as he could manage, "I should be the one asking that."
Ruan Qiuji gave an unexpected laugh, his eyes shimmering with a complex light, as if he found the statement inexplicably amusing. Under Qi Bailu’s gaze, Ruan Qiuji pulled out a room card to open the door. Qi Bailu said, "You have the wrong—"
*Beep-beep.* The door pushed open. Through the widening gap, Qi Bailu’s face showed utter shock. He checked the room number again, then looked at the man opening the door. Ruan Qiuji stepped inside, his eyes on Qi Bailu as he methodically removed his jacket and loosened his tie.
Before Qi Bailu could recover from this bizarre turn of events, Xue Fang’s voice drifted from the living room: "President Ruan? I’ve revised those two pages. Do you want to see them now or tomorrow?"
Before he finished speaking, Xue Fang appeared in the foyer holding a script, accompanied by another screenwriter. Seeing Qi Bailu at the door, Xue Fang greeted him, "Xiao Qi."
Ruan Qiuji tilted his chin, signaling him to come in. "Please?"
"..."
Qi Bailu walked into the meeting area and saw a laptop and scripts on the table. He realized they were having a meeting here; this was likely a suite booked by Ruan Qiuji. Xue Fang had mentioned earlier that he was writing a new script for Yuntian Media, but he hadn't said he’d be working overtime to revise it at this hour. It was already eleven at night.
Ruan Qiuji said he would look at the script tomorrow and suggested they have a drink before resting. Xue Fang and the screenwriter temporarily set aside their work. Qi Bailu handed the paper bag with the clothes to Xue Fang. Xue Fang remarked, "I didn't expect you to come over with President Ruan."
"We ran into each other in the elevator," Qi Bailu said, pausing before asking, "Why the sudden script revisions?"
"He said a certain plot point wasn't satisfactory. I probably won't have much time to watch movies with you these next few days."
The "he" was, of course, the villainous capitalist Ruan Qiuji. Xue Fang didn't use his name, clearly harboring a bit of frustration.
Qi Bailu straightened up and saw the capitalist himself sitting gracefully opposite him, holding a wine glass. He poured drinks for Xue Fang and the screenwriter, putting on an air of magnanimity. The screenwriter, seeing Xue Fang set down the paper bag, casually asked, "What's in there? Did Teacher Qi bring a late-night snack?"
"No, it's clothes. I left them at Xiao Qi’s place before."
The screenwriter was close with Xue Fang and joked, "The news couldn't be true, could it? You two?"
"What are you thinking?"
Because Ruan Qiuji was present, Xue Fang felt a bit embarrassed, his face flushing. He looked up to see Ruan Qiuji leaning against the sofa, legs crossed, his expression neutral but his eyes watching him with a faint, inscrutable smile.
Xue Fang was usually composed, but for some reason, he felt flustered now. He pushed up his glasses, a gesture that didn't escape Ruan Qiuji’s notice. Xue Fang was reasonably handsome, and the silver-rimmed glasses added a touch of scholarly air, making him look like a loyal and reliable person.
Ruan Qiuji glanced at the silent Qi Bailu and thought to himself: *So he does like the ones with glasses.*
The work was done, the drinks were finished, and there was no reason to stay. Xue Fang and the screenwriter soon stood up to take their leave. Qi Bailu followed suit, and Ruan Qiuji saw them out without a word. The screenwriter was a woman, and Xue Fang offered to walk her back, so the two of them left first.
In the blink of an eye, as Qi Bailu, who was trailing behind, prepared to step out, a hand clamped around his waist and hauled him back. Before he could see clearly, he was gathered into Ruan Qiuji’s embrace and shoved against the door. Ruan Qiuji pressed into him, and they seemed to retreat along with the closing door, like apples rolling across the floor, pulled by gravity.
The instant the door locked, Ruan Qiuji kissed him forcefully.
***
