There are a thousand joys to being a demon, but not a single one to being human.
Sitting in the carriage, I pondered this sentence a thousand times and cursed my wicked Master and my unscrupulous senior brothers and sisters ten thousand times. On the surface, however, I held my breath and sat with prim decorum to deal with the solemn housekeeper before me. This housekeeper’s surname was Shui; she was as stagnant as a pool of dead water, yet she handled matters with fluid precision. We had barely exchanged a few words upon meeting before she insisted on stripping me of my original clothes—all to change me into the attire of the Wen family, so as not to embarrass Chancellor Wen upon entering the capital.
"There is no need for that, surely," I said. I had heard that the world of humans was full of convoluted schemes, especially among the women of great estates. If I were too obedient from the start, they would think me easy to manipulate. Thus, I maintained a calm composure as I refused.
Mother Shui would not have it. "The Old Ancestress is celebrating her birthday, followed closely by the Second Young Master’s wedding. You cannot dress so plainly, Miss."
Due to the customs of the Mountain of Old Dreams, the sect members almost exclusively wore black and white. I looked down at my white skirt, which was as bland as a breeze swaying in the air; it did indeed seem a bit inauspicious... Just as I was about to give myself a graceful way out, Mother Shui waved her hand. A young maid presented a brocade box. Mother Shui opened it, took one look, closed it expressionlessly, and commanded, "Go to my carriage and fetch another set."
Though Mother Shui moved quickly, my eyes saw clearly. It was a set of bright red banquet attire. According to the knowledge I had gleaned from storybooks, if I, a granddaughter returning from the countryside, wore such an outfit to see the Old Ancestress, it would naturally be a breach of etiquette. It seemed a jealous woman in the capital was already waiting to harm me! I was immersed in the exciting imagination of a storybook plot when Mother Shui draped a goose-yellow short coat and a peach-pink long skirt over me...
The journey was slightly bumpy. Around my waist and wrists, jade pendants and rings chimed delicately. Although the tea on the table inside the carriage only showed slight ripples, if viewed from the ground, this carriage drawn by three Luan-horses was moving as fast as a falling star. In a single day and night, it transported me from the treacherous wilds of Yuanshui to the elite-filled city of Pingjing. After all, this was my first time traveling far alone in my life as a demon. I wanted to poke my head out the window to look, but Mother Shui frowned and coughed. The maid beside me hurriedly pulled me back.
"Miss Qi, we are ten thousand feet in the air! The astral winds will ruin your skin!"
Boring. Truly boring. Regret. Absolute regret.
I was originally just an ordinary demon from the Myriad Demon Stockade. I had good luck; I was taken in by my Master as soon as I was born, so I took form several decades faster than ordinary demons. Now, I was roughly the age of a human girl who had just reached adulthood. The Myriad Demon Stockade was actually a collective name for countless stockades along the Yuan River. It wasn't just home to demons; because it was located on the border, it was a place where eccentric recluses, hermits, and the dregs of humanity lived together. In truth, it was a chaotic zone that the Empire ignored. Master was merely the "Mountain King" of one of the smaller hills.
But if I said that to her face, she would certainly deny it. She loved to affect an air of elegance, taking the perfectly fine original name of the mountain, "Mount Gu-Meng," and pretentiously changing it to the "Mountain of Old Dreams." She didn't have much real skill herself, but she was an expert at manipulating hearts—she claimed our sect practiced "Illusionary Arts," a magic of grafting one thing onto another, seeing through human hearts, and borrowing the strength of others to survive. When I was young and ignorant, I believed her; only after I grew up and read books did I realize that no one in history had ever described the tricks of a traveling con artist in such profound terms...
Master’s elegance did not hinder her love for money. She selflessly adopted nine disciples to perform missions and earn big money for her. In my view, the income brought in by Eldest Senior Brother in a single year was enough for Master to break even ten times over. By the twentieth year of saving, the various pavilions and towers of the current Mountain of Old Dreams were finally built, making us people of some standing among the stockades.
Master’s residence was called "Dreamfall Pavilion." It was itself a magical treasure that could change size at will; no one other than the owner could use illusionary arts within it. Dreamfall Pavilion changed constantly according to the owner's whims. Within ten paces, frost, snow, wind, rain, falling leaves, and blooming flowers could coexist in abundance. Ancient, simple structures from a thousand years ago could be joined with the brightly lacquered palaces of the Empire, making it impossible to distinguish high from low, near from far, or yesterday from today. When I entered that day, Dreamfall Pavilion was in the style of an exquisite Southern tea manor—this indicated that the person she was receiving was of noble birth but longed for the countryside. This was the type of person she loved to scam the most. She intended to show off her own carefree nature, not deliberately flattering or clinging to them.
"So green, so green." Looking at the mountain full of tea fields, Fifth Senior Sister Zhu Yixin frowned and fanned the air in front of her nose. "It seems Master is showing off her tea arts today."
Eldest Senior Brother and Fourth Senior Brother had already left the mountain on missions. Second Senior Sister and Third Senior Brother stood silently in the hall with their hands down. Once the two of us entered and took our places, all the disciples capable of taking missions were present. Today, Master was dressed as a famous scholar, with her hair loose and her robe open. She wore a black-and-white checkered Daoist robe with wide sleeves, reclining lazily on a couch. Only that naturally bright and beautiful face seemed out of place. I often wondered if a person as moody and deep-scheming as her ever showed her true face. Could it be that she was actually an ugly monster? The guest had already left; it seemed they didn't care who executed the mission, not being the type to demand perfection in every detail or insist on total control.
Master stretched and yawned repeatedly. "You're all here. Lingfeng, why are you holding a dead bird?"
"Reporting to Master, I am researching the Art of the Dead as if Living," Lu Lingfeng said calmly. Although she was ranked second, she was only four years older than me and eight years younger than Third Senior Brother Ren Xuzhou.
When the Mountain of Old Dreams was first founded, Master took a fancy to Eldest Senior Brother Lu Kaifeng on the street. The slave trader insisted she buy both siblings before he would sell. At that time, Lingfeng was only a few months old, held in the arms of Kaifeng, who was not yet thirteen. At first, Master only treated her like a pet kitten or dog. After a few days of novelty, she found serving a child’s basic needs to be incredibly annoying. From then on, she washed her hands of it, and Lu Lingfeng was raised by her brother.
Eldest Senior Brother was gentle and meticulous, showing much care for us younger siblings. He also handled all the sect's affairs. Master might not have had other skills, but her judgment of people was truly accurate; picking Eldest Senior Brother was truly her good fortune. As for Second Senior Sister, I don't know how she grew up this way—she was cold and taciturn, loving to study strange and eccentric arts. This "Dead as if Living" method was likely some ancient technique she had dug up from a pile of old papers.
Master didn't mind, giving an "oh" and casually picking up a booklet on the table to flip through.
Taking advantage of this gap, I noticed Third Senior Brother Ren Xuzhou and Fifth Senior Sister Zhu Yixin exchanging glances and snickering. I took a few more looks at that dead bird. Although the colors were strange, the shape looked somewhat familiar. Looking closer, I realized it was the Golden-Eyed Purple-Flowered Parrot Master had bought recently. Because it was a rare breed and exceptionally large, it cost three thousand spirit stones. Master had intended to buy it as a birthday gift for the wife of the Great Chief of the Myriad Demon Stockade—naturally, a stingy person like her would only spend such a fortune if she had a great favor to ask. This parrot had recently become the most precious living thing on the mountain, strutting about and jumping around all day. We had long found it an eyesore, but only Lu Lingfeng would dare to kill it.
To be able to bypass the anti-illusion mechanism of Dreamfall Pavilion meant she hadn't used illusions at all. Instead, she had used pure painting skills to transform that parrot into the likeness of a drab, bald eagle. Lu Lingfeng was currently muttering to herself, pretending to tenderly care for the bird, while secretly plucking its feathers...
Master finished flipping through the booklet, looked up at her third disciple, and said, "Xuzhou, Kaifeng is not here, so you are the eldest. Tell me, what is the farthest place you have been?"
Ren Xuzhou spoke eloquently. "In terms of distance, it would be Xiangzhou; it takes ten days to half a month to fly back and forth. But if we speak of the difficulty of the journey, it must be Yanzhou. Mount Heluo stands in the way and cannot be flown over; one can only climb across it using hands and feet, slipping with every step... And as for the most exotic customs, that would naturally be the Southern Capital of the Kingdom of Leitian..."
Master nodded after hearing this and tossed him a scroll. "Very well. Practice this for a few days before coming to see me again."
"Thank you, Master. What is this for?"
"The Art of Intermittent Suturing," Master said. "An opening has appeared on your face that shouldn't be there. Sew it up yourself, otherwise, it will be an eyesore."
Third Senior Brother, who always prided himself on being a handsome man, touched his face in shock. "Where?"
"Below your nose. Yes, that mouth of yours."
Master skipped over Lu Lingfeng, who was holding the dead bird, and asked Zhu Yixin, "Yixin has only been to the east, right?"
"Yes, Master. The farthest I've been is Wuzhou."
"Mm," Master said. "A-Zhi, you need not even be mentioned. You've only left the house twice in total—once to leave your cat den for the Mountain of Old Dreams, and once to leave the Mountain of Old Dreams to visit your relatives in the cat den." She cut off my indignant protest. "Yes, I know, you're not a cat, you're a Pallas's cat—and a Snowy Pallas's cat at that, the purest and only lineage left in the world from Mount Yifeng... Kaifeng and Songlin went to Zhaozhou this time, which is the farthest they've gone, but they probably haven't been to the north much. Well, looking at it this way, our business at the Mountain of Old Dreams isn't big enough yet. we're just circling around these backwater regions!"
Zhu Yixin, who also loved making money, quickly chimed in, "Master, is there a big job this time?"
Master weighed the booklet in her hand and smiled mysteriously. "The business is in Pingjing."
"Pingjing!" Ren Xuzhou and Zhu Yixin exclaimed at the same time, both reaching out to take the booklet. Master tapped Ren Xuzhou on the head and said, "Not you. It must be a woman." Zhu Yixin was triumphant, already imagining how she would run wild in the capital. Master said unhurriedly, "The three of you could go, but this mission requires staying within a grand estate most of the time." As she spoke, she gave Zhu Yixin a cool look. "Pingjing is not like other places. You must not be reckless."
Lu Lingfeng remained like a block of wood, stroking the dead bird without a word. Zhu Yixin’s heart cooled by half; she didn't even have the heart to listen to Master brag about how she used to tease cats and dogs in the capital when she was young—we were long used to this. Every time there was a mission, Master would claim she was a local of that place... Master finished her boasting, waved her hand, and let us out, telling us to decide among ourselves who would go to Pingjing.
Just as we stepped out of the palace gates, Ren Xuzhou said with a grin to Zhu Yixin, "Yixin, Pingjing isn't far from Zhaozhou. You want to go find Songlin, don't you?"
Her thoughts exposed, Zhu Yixin glared at him with a slightly flushed face. "So what if I do? I’m going to find him and demand an explanation!"
Ren Xuzhou continued to tease her. "Fifth Sister, my advice is that some things are better left unclear..." Before he could finish, a deep purple thunderball rushed toward him. He skillfully ducked his head and ran away, still laughing.
Zhu Yixin was about to give chase, but after two steps, she stood still and bit her lip resentfully. I walked up and put a hand on her shoulder, comforting her. "Fourth Brother just needs some time to think. Don't worry. Pressing him now would only make things worse."
"Really?"
"Really, Fifth Sister. Haven't we been studying the human heart all these years?" I suppressed a laugh. "Anyone can see he doesn't want to refuse. It's just that with his stubborn, slow-moving personality, you almost shoved the marriage certificate in his face for him to sign that day. How could he handle that kind of shock?"
"Then... then I won't go to Pingjing." Zhu Yixin steadied herself, regaining some of her usual decisiveness. "If I go, I'll end up beating him until he agrees."
While I felt relieved, I also had a faint feeling that something was wrong with my maneuver. Before I could figure it out, the silent Lu Lingfeng suddenly spoke. "Su Yuzhi, you go."
"Go where?"
"Pingjing."
"Why me? This mission likely involves staying indoors all day. It would be perfect for you to go and study your ancient books, Second Senior Sister."
Lu Lingfeng raised the dead bird in her hand. The dead bird’s head lolled limply. Although her face remained expressionless, I felt as if she and the dead bird were laughing together. "Guess who Master will think killed her parrot?"
I nearly spat blood. "Second Senior Sister, you're framing me this time..." Lu Lingfeng nodded and said, "One turn for each person. Fair and just."
Lu Lingfeng had to cause trouble at least once a month, and every time she would frame someone else, following a rotation. Even her own brother wasn't spared. I suddenly didn't want to go back to my room. There was bound to be evidence of the parrot's death there, and going back would be walking right into the trap. Lu Lingfeng was as practiced at this as eating or drinking; so far, no one had successfully cracked her schemes...
Zhu Yixin said very loyally, "A-Zhi, run for it! I'll cover you! I promise that by the time you come back, Master's anger will have faded, and she won't beat you to death!"
I immediately made a sharp turn and walked back toward Master’s great hall.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 故梦山 | Mountain of Old Dreams | The protagonist's sect; formerly Mount Gu-Meng. |
| 万妖寨 | Myriad Demon Stockade | A chaotic border region where demons and humans coexist. |
| 沅水 | Yuan River | A river near the Myriad Demon Stockade. |
| 平京 | Pingjing | The capital city of the Empire. |
| 落梦阁 | Dreamfall Pavilion | The Master's residence and a magical treasure. |
| 兔狲 | Pallas's cat / Manul | The protagonist's true form (Otocolobus manul). |
| 雪兔狲 | Snowy Pallas's cat | A rare variant of the Pallas's cat. |
| 幻术 | Illusionary Arts | The sect's specialty; described as a mix of magic and psychological manipulation. |
| 苏玉卮 | Su Yuzhi | The protagonist (A-Zhi). |
| 陆恺风 | Lu Kaifeng | Eldest Senior Brother. |
| 陆泠风 | Lu Lingfeng | Second Senior Sister. |
| 任虚舟 | Ren Xuzhou | Third Senior Brother. |
| 松邻 | Songlin | Fourth Senior Brother. |
| 朱绎心 | Zhu Yixin | Fifth Senior Sister. |
| 死者如生之术 | Art of the Dead as if Living | A technique Lu Lingfeng is researching. |
| 断续缝合术 | Art of Intermittent Suturing | A technique Master gives to Ren Xuzhou. |
| 鸾马 | Luan-horse | Mythical horses used to pull the carriage. |
| 罡风 | Astral winds | Fierce, high-altitude winds. |
| 沂风山 | Mount Yifeng | The original home of the Snowy Pallas's cat. |
