Chapter 68 - Her Hidden Name
When I finally drifted back to consciousness, I found my Master hunched over a table, frantically scribbling and sketching on a sheet of paper. She was muttering to herself, her voice a low, rhythmic drone of names and possibilities.
"Wen Sixing, Wen Sili, Wen Siming, Wen Siyuan... that 'Unknown Cousin,' Xiao Xuelin... Dantai Ye, Feng Baili, Bai Yuyu... Ling Chunan, Xu Xingze, Tong Jinhu, the... Emperor? Hmm, if it’s the Emperor, that would be impressive. As expected of my disciple—ambitious. But none of them seem right? It couldn't be the Eldest, could it? Those two slipped away from the Second to release river lanterns alone; there’s definitely something fishy there. Tsk, tsk, young people and their romance..."
My attention snagged on the phrase "Unknown Cousin," and I felt a bittersweet ache rise in my throat. "Master, what on earth are you doing?"
"Come, come! Pick one for yourself," Master said with a grand sweep of her arm. She tossed a brush toward me with the reckless flair of a decadent emperor allowing a favored consort to pick the top scholar in the golden hall. "Which of these scoundrels is it?"
I carefully dodged the flying droplets of ink and caught the brush. Leaning over the table, I saw that Master had been quite industrious. Not only had she written down every name she could find in my memories, but she had also sketched several portraits with startlingly vivid strokes, capturing the essence of each man’s features. Seeing them again felt like looking back from another lifetime. I stared at the paper in silence, mentally retracing the steps of the past three months.
Master tapped my head impatiently. "I told you to draw a circle!"
"I have no circle to draw..." My hand moved instinctively, my fingers brushing against the only face without a formal name written beneath it. In the memory Master had glimpsed, this person’s gaze was cold and piercing—the way she had looked when we first met. It had been so long since I’d seen her like that that the image felt almost foreign. I let out a long, shaky breath. It seemed Master had kept her promise; she had not breached the final defenses of my heart.
The name of the person I loved most had remained hidden, even from the Dream Induction. I began to understand why Wen Qi’s memories had lacked any trace of her. When you truly love someone with such depth, you bury them in the most secret corner of your soul, shielding them so tightly that no one else can ever touch them.
"Aha! It’s this pretty boy, isn't it?" Master snorted, pointing at the sketch. "You don't even call him by name. It’s always 'Cousin' this and 'Cousin' that."
"Oh, her name is Wei Qingming," I said, my face a mask of practiced indifference. "Since Wen Qi was supposed to be fond of her since childhood, it was only natural to act with a certain level of intimacy."
Master watched me closely, her eyes searching for the slightest tremor in my expression. I met her gaze with cold neutrality. After a moment, she tossed the brush aside, leaving a jagged black blotch on the paper. She scratched her neck and let out a long yawn. "How boring! Fine, don't tell me if you don't want to."
"There is no such person, and no one bullied me," I said, knowing I had successfully navigated the interrogation. "I only cried because... because I missed the sect so much."
She had already closed her eyes, exhausted, and waved me away. I shook her shoulder gently. "Don't forget to refine those memories into a pill for the client!" She grumbled a sleepy "I know, I know," and within seconds, her breathing turned heavy and rhythmic. She was fast asleep.
I lowered my head, rubbing my tired eyes. I had only made it halfway across the great hall when Master’s voice drifted from behind me, sharp and sudden. "Has someone else taken your memories before?"
I froze in my tracks. "No... no, of course not..."
"Around mid-February, shortly after you arrived in Pingjing," she said through another yawn. "Think about it yourself."
In an instant, the truth crashed down on me. It was the first time Wei Qingming had taken me out... It must have happened at the temple. While my soul was wandering outside my body, she had extracted my memories with effortless ease. That was her domain; even with my unexpected tricks, I could never have escaped her grasp.
No wonder she had lowered her guard afterward. She knew my background was simple and that I had done no harm to the real Wen Qi. No wonder she could casually mention my surname and recognize my true appearance, pretending it was a lucky guess when she had known everything all along. She knew my Senior Brother’s name, and she knew I loved the game of Liubo—that I excelled at playing with those useless little trinkets...
I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth as I walked out of the hall. I hated her, I longed for her, and most of all, I hated myself. Even now, I found I couldn't truly resent her. My mind was already busy weaving excuses for her: she was a master of the 'one arrow, two birds' strategy. Inviting me out to help with a case while simultaneously investigating me was perfectly logical from her perspective, wasn't it? Without such caution, given her precarious position, she would have died eight hundred times over. And as compensation, hadn't she changed her mind that very night and taken me to Haida Restaurant?
Besides... the kindness she had shown me later, could it not outweigh that initial moment of testing and utility? I had been angry with her once, frustrated by her lack of transparency and her dual nature. But now, my heart and mind were filled with nothing but the image of her warmth, her gentleness, and the way she had protected me. My only fear was that the person behind the mask didn't love me. If I could only have one sincere promise from her, what would it matter if I gave her my very life?
In truth, I had come to terms with it over these past few days. The panic I felt at our parting was merely the bursting of a bubble of self-deception. I hadn't been able to accept that I had fallen for a woman, even though I had never truly viewed her as a man. There was a sliver of disappointment, a touch of lingering regret. After I had rejected her, she had returned to her calm state far too quickly. She hadn't persisted; she was far too polite, too observant of decorum. Would it have been so bad if she had been a little more forceful, a little more reckless? Perhaps she simply didn't love me that deeply... As these shameful thoughts surfaced, I couldn't help but mock myself. A woman’s heart is rarely free from a touch of vanity.
I walked aimlessly, my mind a whirlwind, until I found myself at the back of the mountain. I saw my Fifth Sister, Zhu Yixin, sitting on a stone. She was holding a novel in one hand and a ferule in the other, lazily calling out instructions: "Rise—Stab—Turn—"
She was supervising the physical training of our three younger martial siblings. Every time she finished a page of her book, she used the ferule to flip to the next. The three youngsters weren't fools; seeing her scratching her head and shifting her weight in total absorption of the story, their movements became sluggish and half-hearted. I found it amusing. If the teacher herself wasn't a model of discipline, how could she expect to produce good students?
I stripped off my outer robe, tucked up my skirts, and grabbed a wooden sword from a nearby rack. I joined the practice, performing the drills with as much precision as I could muster.
The three 'pups' stopped their movements, grinning as they greeted me. "Sixth Sister! You’re a rare guest in these parts!"
Zhu Yixin looked up sharply. Dropping her book, she leaped over and swung her ferule at me with a laugh. "Oh? Why has our A-Zhi come to practice her swordplay? Let me see if this is the real thing. You haven't had your soul swapped out during your long trip, have you?"
I parried her strike with my wooden blade. "I’ll knock the soul right out of you first!"
The younger ones cheered and egged us on. Zhu Yixin pulled back her ferule and huffed, "Go on, go on! You think watching a show means you don't have to work? Five hundred extra repetitions of the Water-Parting Stab for all of you today!"
"Fifth Sister—!" A chorus of wails erupted. I said nothing more, focusing entirely on the rhythm of my sword.
I practiced without pause until lunchtime, enjoying a lively meal with my siblings for the first time in months. In the afternoon, while they went to study illusion techniques, I returned to the back of the mountain alone. I immersed myself in the basic fundamentals—footwork, punches, and palms—working until the sun began to dip toward the horizon. Finally, I drew Hanguang and unleashed a frantic, desperate dance of steel.
When I finally snapped out of it, I saw Zhu Yixin sitting nearby. She had come to call me for dinner but hadn't said a word, resting her chin on her hand as she watched me. Or perhaps she was just lost in her own thoughts.
I turned toward her, and she started, seeing my face streaked with a mixture of sweat and tears in the dying light. We stared at each other in silence for a long time before she stepped forward. She pulled out a handkerchief, gently wiped my face, and pulled me into a warm embrace.
"Fifth Sister..." I whispered. "Will there ever come a day when you stop loving Fourth Brother?"
"So you know?" She smiled sadly. "Sigh, I don't know either. Maybe."
I remained motionless in her arms. Sensing something was wrong, she looked down and saw that I was biting my lip so hard it had turned purple, crying in a silent, suffocating agony. Panicked and heartbroken, she rubbed my back. "Why are you holding it in? There’s no need to be embarrassed with your sister. If you want to cry, just let it all out. Then, forget the person who made you so sad."
"I can't... I don't want to forget. Not for my whole life."
"Fine, fine," she said with a bitter laugh. "I’d love to forget him, but he’s always right there, hovering in front of me. I forget him in the morning only to remember him by the afternoon. Sometimes I think I should just rob Master’s storehouse and run away just so I never have to see him again! I’ve even secretly made a copy of the formation key. I used to think that if Master didn't let us be together, I’d just take the money and elope..."
I was startled out of my grief by her nonsense and let out a small, watery laugh. "What kind of foolish talk is that? Why would Master ever disagree?"
"Exactly," she smiled. "But once you’re in love, you just start imagining all sorts of things, worrying about heaven and earth, don't you?"
I chewed on her words in silence, nodding slowly.
"What about you, A-Zhi?" she asked. "Away for only three months and you’ve already found someone? Did he treat you poorly? Does he love someone else?"
The memories of Wei Qingming danced on the tip of my tongue, but I feared revealing her secrets. It was better to say nothing. Besides, the idea of loving a woman was too shocking; I was afraid even my Fifth Sister wouldn't be able to accept it. After a long pause, I whispered, "She treated me very well. It’s just... she belongs to the heavens. I’m not worthy."
Zhu Yixin likely assumed I was talking about some arrogant noble scion. She raised her voice in indignation. "Not worthy? If it’s about money, our sect has never lacked for it! As for status, we don't care for social climbing with the court! Besides, those pampered young masters just eat expensive pills all day and can't even hunt a mountain pheasant. They aren't worth the trouble! Next time I go to Pingjing, I’ll teach him a lesson for you!"
I smiled through my tears, thinking to myself that she couldn't possibly teach her a lesson... On this mountain, only Master and Eldest Senior Brother could truly suppress that God of War. Even Third and Fourth Brother working together at the mid-Tunyun stage would likely only manage a draw. I couldn't help but tease her. "Sister, our skills are about the same. If I could teach her a lesson, I would have done it myself!"
Seeing me finally smile, she brightened up. "Well, then the two of us can take him on together!" She wiped my face again, and we walked hand-in-hand to the dining hall.
During dinner, I learned that the man she had encountered on her mission was named Li Qunyu, a direct disciple of the Tianjun Sect—another of the world’s premier sects. They had met in the beautiful city of Jiangdu in Yuezhou. Apparently smitten by my sister’s beauty, Li Qunyu had pursued her relentlessly. After the mission, he had even escorted her back and paid a formal visit to Master, bringing lavish gifts. I couldn't help but wonder... if Wei Qingming had brought me back, how would the mountain have reacted?
Fourth Brother had met the man, of course. Before Li Qunyu had even finished his visit, Fourth Brother had requested a new mission and left within two days. Fifth Sister couldn't say she loved Li Qunyu, but she didn't hate him either. However, Fourth Brother’s cold reaction had deeply wounded her. She had decided to give up on that heartless man, and since Li Qunyu returned to his sect, the two of them had begun a regular correspondence. I didn't ask her if she intended to spend her life with him. I knew that, like me, she would never truly forget her first love.
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