Qi Lian entered the apartment and knocked on Song Wei’s door.
Song Wei opened it, phone in hand. A wave of sweltering, sweat-soaked air mixed with the sour stench of instant noodles hit Qi Lian’s nose. Song Wei’s eyes were bloodshot, his gaze vacant as he looked at him.
"Borrowing a smoke," Qi Lian said.
Song Wei turned, grabbed the half-empty pack of cigarettes sitting by his computer, and handed it over. Qi Lian took it with a nod and tapped his own phone screen.
As he walked back to his room, he transferred a hundred yuan to Song Wei via his phone.
Stepping out onto the balcony, he pulled out a cigarette and tucked it between his lips. He could no longer tell the difference between good tobacco and bad.
The first drag nearly made him choke. He let out a soft, hissed curse. "Fuck."
The sensation reminded him of junior high.
The first cigarette their group had ever smoked was one Jiang Lai had stolen from home. Jiang Lai’s family ran a small convenience store. Jiang Lai was a bit of a fool; he never treated the rest of them like outsiders. When they were kids, he would steal candies and stickers for them. By the time their shadows began to darken with the first hints of stubble, they lost interest in sweets and stickers.
One day, Jiang Lai had mysteriously pulled a pack of Daqianmen from his bag. A group of half-grown boys had sat under the crooked-neck tree by the Lianhua River, coughing until their faces turned crimson. Yet they had to show off; they would glance at each other, put the cigarettes back in their mouths for a second drag, and continue coughing until tears and snot ran down their faces.
After his father passed away, Qi Lian stopped smoking.
No one knew why, except for Jiang Lai. Back then, Jiang Lai had told him, "I’ll stay with you. I won’t smoke anymore either."
Jiang Lai used to be his best friend.
The summer after the college entrance exams, his mentor had fallen ill and gone to the hospital. On a rare afternoon off, they sat by the Xietang River while the cicadas chirped incessantly.
Jiang Lai grabbed a handful of pebbles and tossed them idly into the river one by one. He asked, "Do you remember? In tenth grade, you said you wanted to study medicine, and I said I wanted to study computer science."
Qi Lian plucked a handful of grass by his feet but didn't answer.
Two years prior, he had sat in this very spot and cried alone. After that, he never went back to school.
Jiang Lai turned to look at him. The eighteen-year-old’s eyes were as clear as a summer sky, a ring of dark stubble lining his upper lip. He said casually, "Qi Lian, I’ll fulfill your dream for you."
Jiang Lai was a doctor now, practicing in Shanghai.
If he were Jiang Lai, would things be different?
Qi Lian thought this as he stared at the pitch-black window across the way.
Fate was a real bitch.
***
Xue Shen and Lin Zhu were greeted by two of Old Pan’s assistants and led into the office.
Once they reached the outer office, Old Pan’s secretary gave Lin Zhu a subtle sign. Xue Shen glanced at her but said nothing.
This was Old Pan’s rule: when he wanted to see someone, no "unrelated persons" were allowed inside.
Xue Shen pushed open the double oak doors and stepped into Old Pan’s office.
Two men were seated on the sofa. One was in his fifties, with thinning grey hair and a gaunt face with high cheekbones. The other was in his early forties, wearing glasses, with skin that was exceptionally fair and smooth.
Xue Shen strode in and nodded to the older man. "Senior Uncle," he greeted, then smiled at the middle-aged man. "Senior Brother is here too."
The three men of varying ages took their seats on the sofas. In Jinning, the outside temperature was currently hitting forty degrees Celsius. It was so hot people could hardly bear to wear short sleeves, and the streets were filled with camisoles and miniskirts. Yet, these three men were dressed in crisp shirts and suit jackets, meticulous and formal, as if the weather of ordinary mortals had nothing to do with them.
The elder, known as Old Pan, spoke to Xue Shen. "I’ve heard about your recent activities. While business is business, and tactically speaking, there’s nothing wrong with your plan, the matter with Lüyi isn't that simple."
Xue Shen nodded. "Senior Uncle, I understand what you mean. I know what I’m doing."
Hearing this, Old Pan’s well-manicured hand, which had been reaching for a teacup, slowly retracted. His expression remained unchanged.
Seeing the atmosphere stiffen, Senior Brother Wang, sitting on the other side, stepped in to smooth things over. "Junior Brother, you’re still too young. Some things require considering the big picture. This isn't just my opinion or Master’s; it’s the opinion of many. It’s easy to destroy things out of youthful impulsiveness, but rebuilding is much harder."
Xue Shen maintained a slight smile and nodded. "Senior Brother is right. I will give it careful consideration."
Old Pan slammed the teacup he had just picked up back onto the table. For a moment, silence fell over the room.
Old Pan spoke again. "Xue Shen, the future belongs to you, but one must not be too hasty. In our industry, the one thing we don't lack is clever people. I’ve seen more 'stars of tomorrow' than I can count on one hand, but I’ve never seen one truly make it out. No matter how capable you are, a single tree cannot make a forest. We, your fellow disciples, will always have our uses."
After listening, Xue Shen stood up from the sofa and said to Old Pan with a hint of trepidation, "Senior Uncle, I absolutely didn't mean it that way. Perhaps I was just young and inconsiderate in my actions."
Only then did Old Pan nod in satisfaction. He picked up his teacup again and said, "Draft a new proposal for the Lüyi matter."
When Xue Shen exited Old Pan’s office, his face was expressionless. With his meticulously styled hair, pale complexion, and black suit, he still appeared to outsiders as an ascetic, unattainable figure.
Lin Zhu and Old Pan’s secretaries and assistants swarmed toward him, but he didn't spare them a single glance. He kept walking, heading straight out of the office suite.
Once in the car, he remained silent, merely flipping through the meeting materials Lin Zhu had prepared for him.
After a moment, he suddenly raised his hand and slammed the folder violently against the front seat. Only then did Lin Zhu realize he was angry—furious, even.
Neither she nor the driver dared to breathe loudly.
Xue Shen said, "The Lüyi matter needs a new plan. They’re using their seniority to pressure me, banding together to blackmail me."
Lin Zhu heard this and said, "I should congratulate you, President Xue."
Xue Shen turned to look at her and suddenly laughed, the fine lines at the corners of his eyes showing prematurely. He nodded but said nothing.
His assistant was a smart person. Everyone here was smart. People in this industry understood that Xue Shen was a tiger leaving the cage; his era was about to begin.
The summer sunlight pierced through the plane trees, so bright it was blinding.
Xue Shen felt his eyes sting from the glare. At such a pivotal moment in his life, that one person was absent.
Life never proceeds as imagined.
In the beginning, Xue Shen hadn't thought much of Yu Mo.
He liked beauty that was intense, dazzling, and aggressive—like that senior girl in Class 3 of the eleventh grade who was 178 centimeters tall and training to be a model. When she laughed, her eyes held hooks. He thought that was what "beautiful" looked like.
During the summer break after the high school entrance exams, Yu Mo had spent two months at her grandmother’s house. She ate meat and fish every day, supplemented by a pack of Little Raccoon Crispy Noodles daily. By the time summer ended and she returned home, even her parents could hardly recognize her.
She had a small frame but had gained twenty pounds. Her thin face had turned round, like a honey peach. Xue Shen truly couldn't see what was beautiful about someone so petite and chubby-faced.
But the male students around him discussed Yu Mo every other day, which annoyed him greatly.
What annoyed him even more was that this girl with an apple-shaped face, who looked harmless when she smiled, happened to be incredibly stubborn.
If he voiced an opinion she disagreed with, Yu Mo would tilt her little head, flash her canine teeth, and argue with him to the bitter end. She was aggressive, and he was hardly the type to admit defeat, so the two of them were often at loggerheads.
In his simple and crude aesthetic view, such a woman was not "cute."
It was a night in mid-December. The weather was freezing. Evening self-study had just ended at nine o'clock. The girls were leaving one after another, but most of the boys in the back of the classroom remained.
A few of his friends were gathered around him, discussing the newly released Swatch handheld game.
A boy sitting in front of him—Xue Shen couldn't even recall his name now, only that he was of average height, wore glasses, and went by the nickname "Camel."
During a lull in their discussion, that boy announced to everyone, "From now on, I’m looking out for Yu Mo."
It was like a sudden clap of thunder. The classroom fell into a dead silence. Everyone was stunned by this normally unremarkable boy.
The boys surrounding Xue Shen sensitively noticed that their leader wasn't happy. They couldn't say why, so they could only exchange uneasy glances.
That night, someone stopped Camel in the dormitory hallway and whispered a warning: "You’d better watch out. You’ve offended Xue Shen."
At the time, no one knew what connection there could possibly be between Xue Shen and Yu Mo.
It was on that winter night that Xue Shen realized one thing: even if he hadn't yet seen Yu Mo’s beauty, and even if her personality wasn't particularly likable, she could never belong to anyone else. He couldn't even stand to hear Yu Mo’s name mentioned alongside another man’s.
Her virtues and her flaws—all of it belonged only to him.
Xue Shen bent over, clutching his chest.
Seeing this, Lin Zhu turned around and asked with concern, "President Xue, what’s wrong?"
Xue Shen waved her off, gritting his teeth against wave after wave of pain.
*Yu Mo, no matter where you are, I will find you.*
***
### Glossary
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
--- | --- | ---
江来 | Jiang Lai | Qi Lian's childhood best friend, now a doctor.
大前门 | Daqianmen | A classic Chinese cigarette brand.
莲花河 | Lianhua River | A local river from Qi Lian's youth.
斜塘河 | Xietang River | Another local river mentioned in flashbacks.
老潘 | Old Pan | A senior figure/mentor in Xue Shen's professional circle.
绿意 | Lüyi | Likely "Lüyi Group" or a specific project/company Xue Shen is targeting.
师叔 | Senior Uncle | A term of respect for a senior in one's professional or academic lineage.
师兄 | Senior Brother | A term for an older or more senior male peer in the same lineage.
王师兄 | Senior Brother Wang | An associate of Old Pan and Xue Shen.
小浣熊干脆面 | Little Raccoon Crispy Noodles | A popular nostalgic snack in China.
骆驼 | Camel | The nickname of a high school classmate.
