Yu Mo slept until dawn, only waking when the sun reached the edge of her bed.
She had slept well and woke feeling refreshed, a warm glow in her chest, though she couldn't recall what pleasant dreams had put it there. She stared at the dust motes dancing in the sunlight for a moment before remembering where she was.
Sitting up, she ran her fingers through her hair and straightened her disheveled clothes. Qi Lian was nowhere to be seen. she called his name tentatively toward the bathroom, but there was no answer.
She tidied the bed. In the bright light of day, having slept in a man’s bed and being surrounded by his scent felt... complicated. She opened the door and left, thinking it might be for the best that he wasn't there.
In the hallway, she nearly collided with a stocky young man. She quickly stepped aside to let him pass. The man wore thick-rimmed glasses and looked at her as if he’d seen a ghost. She lowered her head and hurried away, feeling a prickle of embarrassment. Emerging from a man’s room so early in the morning was difficult to explain.
The summer weather in Jinning was abnormally oppressive. Even though it was barely past six, the crimson sun hung in the sky, and the heat was already rising from the pavement.
Outside the building, someone with a Jiangbei accent was shouting at the top of their lungs, "I'll curse your ancestors for eighteen generations! Who stole my bike seat? May your whole family follow it to the grave!"
That drum-like roar jolted Yu Mo’s brain fully awake. She stood for a moment on the stairs, which were so grimy their original color was a mystery. Suddenly, images flashed through her mind, and she stumbled, nearly falling.
She had dreamed of Xue Shen. It took her back to the beginning of their relationship—the endless tenderness, the sweet words. Then, the scene shifted to the bed. She remembered the dream with startling clarity; she had been acting spoiled, reaching out her arms for him to coax her, her voice thick with a cloying sweetness.
Goosebumps broke out over Yu Mo’s skin, and her face burned. To have such a dream while under another man’s roof felt as humiliating as being stripped bare in public.
She hurried down the stairs, her mind a mess. Beyond the embarrassment, why did she feel so unsettled?
***
Qi Lian returned with breakfast, two red plastic bags dangling from his fingers, rustling as he walked. He had just closed the front door when Song Wei rushed up to meet him.
Song Wei’s perpetually half-closed "dead fish eyes" were actually sparkling with rare excitement. "Brother Qi, Brother Qi! Who was that woman in your room?"
Qi Lian’s dark brows knitted together, and his voice dropped. "You went into my room?"
Seeing his foul mood, Song Wei waved his hands frantically. "No, no! I just saw her coming out."
"Coming out? When?" Qi Lian glanced at his closed door, a wave of irritation rising in his chest.
"Just ten minutes ago. She left in a hurry. Who is she?"
So she had woken up right after he stepped out. Qi Lian felt a surge of frustration; the timing was always wrong.
He turned a fierce glare on Song Wei. "A woman coming off my bed—who the hell do you think she is?"
Song Wei took a step back, stammering an explanation. "I didn't mean anything by it, Brother Qi. I wouldn't dream of competing with you. Don't misunderstand. I just wanted to know where you met a girl like that."
Qi Lian didn't seem to hear him. He ignored the man, turned around, and walked back out, slamming the pig-liver-red security door behind him.
After his round trip for breakfast, sweat was already beaded on his forehead, and the back of his T-shirt was soaked through in a pattern like an abstract map. He hadn't slept a wink the night before, and now a vein in the back of his head was throbbing, making it impossible to think clearly. He was restless and volatile.
Right now, he wanted nothing more than to grab her, give her a piece of his mind, and then tuck her into his waistband so no one else could even look at her. If he looked away for even a second, she was gone.
If any other blind bastard dared to glue his eyes to her, Qi Lian felt he could beat the man until he couldn't crawl off the ground. A destructive impulse surged through him, a sense of violence coursing through his veins.
At the entrance to the alley, a hunched old woman was scavenging through the trash. Despite the sweltering midsummer heat, she wore a faded, long-sleeved cotton undershirt. Her withered, claw-like fingers scattered fish bones and rice across the ground, attracting a circle of prowling stray cats.
Seeing the strong young man radiating hostility, the old woman instinctively shrank to the side.
To her surprise, the man stopped right in front of her. His eyes were cold as he looked at her. "Clean that mess up."
The old woman cowered. In a place like Lianhua, she had been a spitfire her whole life, never afraid of anyone and always ready to scream a curse. But this morning, she only dared to hunch her small frame even further, not even daring to breathe loudly.
***
Yu Mo had gone home and showered. She sat on her sofa, her hair damp, towel-drying it. Since she had rarely been up this early, she planned to go to the noodle shop at the complex entrance; if she went too late, the line would be impossible.
Suddenly, there was a thunderous pounding on her door. Her heart leaped. "Who is it?"
"Open up."
The person outside had zero patience.
Her heart began to thud. She stood up uncertainly, wringing the pink towel in her hands. The door shook as if the person outside might break it down at any moment. Without time to worry about her disheveled appearance, she went to open it.
The security door creaked open. The two of them stood face-to-face in the summer morning light.
Qi Lian’s gaze was raw and undisguised. It swept over her face and hair before dropping, lingering shamelessly on her chest for several seconds. His gaze felt like it was peeling away her clothes.
Yu Mo felt herself flushing from head to toe.
Qi Lian looked away without a word, squeezed past her, and set the plastic bags on the table. He pulled out a chair and sat down, leaning back with his long legs stretched out casually, looking every bit the rogue.
"Close the door. Come eat."
"I was planning to go get rice noodles at the entrance," Yu Mo murmured as she moved toward the table.
She opened the plastic bag and saw the jianbing inside. She didn't say anything else. She had mentioned this specific jianbing shop once, but she usually couldn't be bothered to wait in the long line.
Qi Lian squinted at her. "If you want rice noodles, don't eat the pancake. I'll take you right now. Just say what you want. As long as you can say it, I'll get it."
Yu Mo happened to bite into a crispy cracker inside the pancake, making a soft *crunch*. She froze. After just one night, everything seemed to have changed.
Qi Lian reached across the table, naturally taking the soy milk from her side. He popped the straw in with a sharp *thwack* and set it back down next to her hand. He crumpled the straw’s paper wrapper into a ball in his fist.
"I have a few things to say to you."
His tone was aggressive, like a sudden tornado sweeping over a ridge without warning. Yu Mo sensed the heavy scent of earth that precedes a mountain storm. She stood up abruptly. "Let me get you a glass of water."
Qi Lian rapped his thick knuckles against the table. "Sit down, Yu Mo. What are you running from?"
Yu Mo had no choice but to sit back down, chewing the trendy jianbing without tasting it.
"I’m not a man of many words. I’d rather do things than talk about them—anyone who knows me knows that. I don't like being fussy or nagging all day—'Are you cold? Are you hungry? Are you scared?' That’s not my personality. But lately, I’ve been acting exactly like that, like I’m possessed. If you aren't stupid, you can guess why. I know you’re not interested in me. Your background is better than mine; we’re worlds apart. It’s normal that you’d look down on me. But I am very interested in you. So interested that every time I see you, I feel like I’m going to explode. Yu Mo, I’m not that bad. You could give me a try. I might even be better than your Xue Shen."
Qi Lian spoke slowly, his voice calm but raspy.
Yu Mo’s head throbbed, and her face turned a deep crimson.
He knew! He knew about the dream she’d had last night. She didn't dare imagine how much she had exposed herself. Her head felt as heavy as lead; she couldn't lift it, let alone find the words for a proper response.
Qi Lian abandoned his lazy posture and leaned forward over the table, watching her bury her head like an ostrich.
"What’s the big deal? It’s not embarrassing for a normal person to have needs. You can try me out. Don't overthink it; just treat it as satisfying a need. You can look down on me and try me at the same time. It’s not a contradiction."
He hadn't slept at all last night.
Watching her call out another man’s name in his bed, hearing her breath hitch for someone else... every sound had been like a knife to his heart, twisting his insides out of place. He had wanted to lung forward, pin her down by her slender neck, stifle her breath, and possess her until she forgot everyone else.
But he didn't dare.
In his entire life, the things he didn't dare to do could be counted on one hand. Everyone he grew up with knew he was a man of few words but ruthless action.
When he was ten, a mere child, he had jumped off a dirt slope several meters high into the lake below without a word, while other kids were too terrified to even get close. In his teens, he had dared to hop onto moving trains as they slowed for the station, wander through the cars, and jump back off, vividly describing the cargo to the wide-eyed boys left behind. No one else dared to do such things.
Because of stunts like that, the local boys looked up to him as their leader, even though he rarely initiated a fight.
But with her, a single frown from her made him tremble with anxiety. He had developed a strange cowardice; he felt paralyzed, unable to take even the smallest risk. He had no bargaining chips. All he had was a heart, and if she didn't want it, it was no different from a stinking pig’s heart on a butcher’s block.
He leaned forward, staring at Yu Mo like a lion stalking its prey.
Yu Mo’s heart raced, and her body felt inexplicably weak. It felt as though someone were squeezing and kneading her heart, leaving it swinging aimlessly.
Outside the window, a yellow-beaked bird chirped twice before fluttering away.
"I really want to..." Qi Lian began again, his voice hoarse. Before he could finish, Yu Mo suddenly stood up, her voice high-pitched as she interrupted him. "I have to go to work."
She drifted past him like a gust of wind, leaving behind a trail of sweet fragrance. Her curves were faintly visible in the morning light, trembling slightly as she moved.
Qi Lian felt his throat go dry. A familiar ache returned, and he was forced to shift his sitting position.
The "whir" of a hairdryer came from the other room.
His eyes fell on the morning sunlight streaming through the window, illuminating the blue-and-white porcelain screen. He had helped her set that screen up. Now, there was a small carved tea table in front of it, topped with a lamp with a red shade. He didn't know when she had managed to move all these things in, bit by bit, like an industrious ant.
A small smile touched the corner of his mouth. His heart softened, his previous volatility melting into a profound tenderness.
The room looked entirely different now.
The wooden-armed sofa against the wall was something he’d bought for two hundred yuan when a landlord was throwing it out during a renovation. Now, it was unrecognizable, fitted with foam cushions and covered in a green velvet slipcover, accented with yellow tasseled pillows. A small rug lay on the floor in front of it.
In truth, not much had changed, yet the room felt transformed. Just like her, she was out of place in a neighborhood like Lianhua, where people worried about their scooter tires being slashed if they parked outside.
They were both beautiful things that couldn't be eaten—impractical, even troublesome.
But he thought everything about her was perfect. Even watching her eat a jianbing bite by bite filled him with a sense of satisfaction and pride.
He probably knew what his "affliction" was.
He used to have a neighbor, a "Second Great-Uncle" by clan seniority. The man’s family had only one son per generation for three generations, and by the time he was nearly seventy, he still didn't have a grandson. He had thrown down his hoe and stopped working the fields, spending his days sighing and beating his chest. "The Qi family line ends with me! How can I face my ancestors?"
No one expected that his wife’s daily incense offerings would eventually pay off. His son finally had a child in his later years, giving the old man a grandson. The old man’s grin reached his ears every day. He wouldn't let go of that grandson, calling him "my heart and soul" so often it made the neighbors shiver with secondhand embarrassment.
When the grandson got a bit older, he would intentionally pee on the old man, giggling as the adults reacted in shock. Or he would reach out a chubby hand and slap the old man’s wrinkled face, or shove the old man’s rice bowl onto the floor.
The old man was never angry. He would just grin with his few remaining teeth, looking perfectly content. "My grandson is getting so capable."
Back then, Qi Lian was ten years old. Every time he saw it, he wanted to kick the fat little brat. The sight made his teeth itch with annoyance.
Now that he was thirty, he suddenly understood his Second Great-Uncle.
Everything came down to being "willing." If one was willing, what did it matter if they gave up their very life? If he had actually tried to kick that boy back then, the old man would have fought him to the death.
Even if she was an impractical flower, covered in thorns that left him bloodied, requiring him to serve her with utmost care, watering her three times a day and enshrining her like an ancestor—what did it matter if others didn't understand?
He was willing. He couldn't escape his own heart's desire.
Then again, what was new under the sun?
He gave a self-deprecating laugh. Seeing the soy milk she had left aside after only a few sips, he reached out, took it, and drained it in a few gulps.
The only sound in the room was the gurgle of the straw sucking up the last of the liquid. Realizing the apartment had been silent for a long while, he turned and called out:
"It’s about time. If we don't leave now, you'll be late."
"Coming, coming!"
Along with Yu Mo’s reply came the clatter of something falling to the floor.
He sighed. "Just take it slow."
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
我不差的 | I’m not that bad / I’m not inferior | Qi Lian’s assertion of his worth as a partner.
江北 | Jiangbei | Literally "North of the River," referring to a specific regional accent/origin.
三伏天 | Dog days of summer | The hottest period of the summer.
二大爷 | Second Great-Uncle | A term for an older male relative or neighbor of a grandfather's generation.
乐意 | Willing / Happy to | A key theme in the chapter regarding Qi Lian's devotion.
