A torrential rain fell during the night, flooding several underground garage entrances in Lianhua. The rain only tapered off as the sky began to turn gray with the first light of dawn.
In the blink of an eye, a sun like a ball of fire hung in the sky. The blue of the heavens looked as artificial as a picture postcard. As the sun baked the moisture on the ground, the world felt like a giant steamer basket—humid and sweltering, the heat stripping people of their patience.
He Mei was riding her Aima electric scooter to drop Qi Qi off at his summer classes when she collided head-on with another scooter turning right at an intersection.
She was unhurt, but her scooter had a significant dent. The other party was a hulking man who immediately began shouting profanities.
Introverted by nature, He Mei wasn't used to raising her voice in public. The man’s voice boomed like a great bell, and within moments, a circle of onlookers had gathered to watch the commotion.
She focused only on picking up her scooter, keeping her head down and remaining silent.
Even though it was clearly the other man's fault, she thought she would just take the loss and leave to avoid a scene. Yet the man refused to let it go, and her heart raced with anxiety.
She had finally found a suitable job and had only been working there for three months; she didn't want to make even the slightest mistake.
Professor Zhang and her husband were kind people. They had told her the hours were flexible—that if she had something to attend to, she didn't have to come, and she could just do more when she was free.
But He Mei didn't see it that way. She had possessed a strong sense of self-respect since childhood and didn't want anyone to find fault with her. Her mother always said she was too sensitive, overthinking every little thing until she exhausted herself.
Professor Zhang was technically a relative on her mother’s side, but the connection was many generations removed, and they usually didn't interact. The professor was a university academic living in the most prestigious faculty housing in Jinning; what common ground could she have with someone living in Lianhua? It was only by chance a few months ago, while visiting her grandmother, that she ran into Professor Zhang.
Her grandmother was ninety years old, long since deaf and drifting in and out of lucidity, so He Mei was left to sit and chat with Professor Zhang.
Professor Zhang was an exceptionally kind woman. She wore glasses, and her short, permed hair framed her round face like a sunflower. Her hair was a mix of grey and white, possessing the refined elegance unique to intellectuals.
She had a naturally pleasant face and spoke in a soft, gentle voice. Even though she knew the grandmother couldn't hear, she still addressed her as "Auntie" with every sentence, winning the favor of everyone who heard her.
He Mei liked her instantly. Being naturally sensitive, she gravitated toward people who were kind and non-threatening.
When Professor Zhang asked how she was doing, He Mei somehow found herself sharing her desire to find a job. As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt a wave of awkwardness.
She never shared such private thoughts with anyone. Even Jiang Yuan didn't know she wanted to go back to work now that Qi Qi was in first grade.
Professor Zhang remained smiling and simply asked, "How is your typing speed?"
He Mei didn't understand the reason for the question, but she answered, "Not slow. I worked in customer service for a while before I got married. I’m a bit out of practice after these few years, but I shouldn't be slow."
"Your uncle and I happen to be looking for someone to help us with data entry. We have some old manuscripts that need to be organized into the computer. We’re getting older, and our eyes can't handle staring at a screen for too long. See if this is something you’d be interested in. If you could come, it would actually be a huge help to us."
He Mei was stunned for a moment. She couldn't tell if Professor Zhang was just being polite. No matter how slow she might be, she knew that finding someone for data entry wouldn't be hard; universities were full of poor students who could type.
Seeing her hesitation, Professor Zhang added, "Don't worry about being out of practice. With a bit of exercise, even a novice becomes an expert. The work is simple, with no other requirements. Most importantly, you have a child at home, so the hours are flexible. You can work and look after your child without one interfering with the other. There’s only one thing: you can't take the manuscripts home. You’d have to make the trip to my house."
And just like that, she had found herself a job.
Professor Zhang’s home wasn't close to Lianhua; it took over half an hour by electric scooter.
To pick up her son from school in the afternoon, she had to stop working shortly after three o'clock. She figured she had to arrive early in the morning, otherwise, it would be improper.
And yet, this morning she had the misfortune of running into this unreasonable man!
Seeing that the sun was already high, she gripped her scooter and summoned the courage to speak to the man, who was still spitting insults. "Either we call the police and see what they say, or I'm leaving!"
The man, who had been cursing with gusto, seemed to have his pressure point struck. The machine-gun flow of words was suddenly choked back.
Seeing him fall silent, He Mei didn't care about anything else. She straddled her scooter, twisted the handle, and sped away with a "whoosh."
As she headed east, she rode directly into the sunlight and had to squint. The fine lines at the corners of her eyes spread out like ripples; she was no longer young.
As she rode, her eyes grew moist. A wellspring of grievances bubbled up in her heart, but there was no one in her life she could talk to. She had no friends. She wondered if all married women lived like this.
She had always been a woman of few words, but now she wanted to speak even less, except to her son, Qi Qi.
If it weren't for her son, she wouldn't even know why she had gotten married.
Her mother often scolded her, saying she was ungrateful. She would ask: Was Jiang Yuan shorting her on money? Did he hit her? Was he seeing other women? Did she have a wicked mother-in-law tormenting her? None of the above. Her mother claimed she was just restless, failing to appreciate the blessings she had.
However, those weren't the things He Mei wanted. For all these years, there had been a lump in her chest she couldn't swallow, a feeling that left her stifled and miserable.
She had an older brother and an older sister, both much older than her. As the youngest child, by the time she grew up, everyone else in the family was earning money, so she had never suffered hardships.
When she was just a young girl, secretly reading Qiong Yao novels every day, her brother and sister had married one after another. The house had been turned upside down with arguments over bride prices and dowries.
Her sister’s marriage, in particular, had been a battlefield. The two families fought hundreds of rounds over the amount of the bride price, at one point nearly breaking off the engagement. Her sister spent every day crying under her covers until their mother, unable to bear her daughter's heartbreak, finally relented.
From that moment on, He Mei made up her mind. When she looked for a partner, she wouldn't care about money or material things. She had to find a man whose eyes were filled only with her, a man who would go mad for her. She wanted the kind of love found in Qiong Yao’s novels.
At first, she hadn't thought much of Jiang Yuan.
When she stole a few glances at him during their introduction, she only saw a hulking man with a square face and bright, piercing eyes. *Not bad looking,* she had thought.
But Jiang Yuan’s eyes had tracked her like flashlights, making her face flush deep red and her heart drum against her ribs. That gaze made her feel like something precious and rare.
Less than two hours after the blind date ended, the matchmaker arrived at their door in a frantic hurry. She teased them loudly, saying she had never seen such an impatient young man, terrified his wife might run away. He had insisted she come immediately for an answer, saying he had set his heart on He Mei and that any conditions the girl's family set would be met—as long as she agreed, everything was negotiable.
The neighboring onlookers roared with laughter, and soon the whole village knew: someone had fallen lovesick at first sight for He Old Four's youngest daughter.
He Mei’s face burned hot. She hid in her room, refusing to come out, feeling both annoyed and unable to suppress the bubbles of joy rising from her heart.
Because of this, she believed she had fallen in love with Jiang Yuan too!
He made her feel like the heroine of a Qiong Yao book. Plain and introverted as she was, she received a level of attention she had never experienced in her life. She felt as though she were walking on air, living in a dream.
This dream, as fleeting as a night-blooming cereus, was brutally punctured on her wedding night along with her maidenhood.
Jiang Yuan had embraced her and quickly fallen asleep.
Her heart was still pounding. She reached out, wanting to hold this man who was both a stranger and now hers.
At that moment, Jiang Yuan let out a pained mumble and, with an uneasy expression, uttered a few words.
He Mei went rigid, not daring to move.
She hoped she had misheard.
But then her husband called out even more clearly: "Sister Zhenzhen."
She remembered it was summer. The noisy crowds cooling off downstairs had just dispersed.
She felt as if she had fallen into an ice cellar. Jiang Yuan’s arm draped over her felt like a snake, making her want to retch.
Her body still bore the marks of their intimacy. She had just endured immense pain, yet her man was calling for another woman in his dreams.
She lay there paralyzed, a tsunami of rage and despair surging within her!
Why? She only wanted to find a man who loved her. This man had deceived her, stripping away her only chance for her lifelong dream to come true.
From then on, she refused to let Jiang Yuan near her.
At first, he tried to coax her with small gestures, trying to make her happy. When a man is controlled by hormones, he is more than willing to play the humble servant, running errands and offering sweet words. She had almost wavered.
When he kissed her, she no longer felt disgusted, and she began to yield to him.
But his patience ran out.
Late one night a few months later, he came home after drinking. He pinned her hands down and bullied her like a predator cornering a chick.
The alcoholic breath from his rapid panting sprayed onto her face. Her tears fell as she let him have his way, while he muttered resentfully, "I'm taking what's mine, so what? Aren't you my woman?"
Jiang Yuan’s mother began looking at her with cautious eyes. One day, when no one else was home, she pulled He Mei aside and said, "Jiang Yuan is as stubborn as a donkey and quite thick-headed. If something is wrong, you must speak up; don't let him run wild. He’s twice your size, and if he’s not careful... if you’re uncomfortable, you must say so."
He Mei was overcome with shame, realizing they had heard the commotion at night. From then on, she clamped her mouth shut and never made a sound.
At that time, her in-laws still treated her well.
It wasn't until her son was born that she felt her marriage was a complete scam.
When the proposal was made, they said any conditions would be met. The Jiang family had houses and money from the demolition compensation, the elders were in good health, and they promised to look after the child once it was born.
But after she finished her month of postpartum recovery, before the back pain from the general anesthesia of her C-section had even faded, the family informed her that she would have to raise the child herself. Her in-laws planned to continue their business.
Her in-laws had contracted the trash collection station for a nearby neighborhood. They were responsible for clearing garbage, recycling scrap, and providing paid transport for large items for the residents.
The income was decent—it was a small business, after all—but it meant leaving at six in the morning and usually not returning until eight or nine at night.
Her fury reached its peak!
Taking advantage of a time when no one was home, she packed her things and took one-month-old Qi Qi back to her parents' house.
Jiang Yuan and his parents visited several times, offering explanations and apologies.
After a few days, her mother cornered her in her room to talk sense into her.
"That's enough. Pack your things and go home with them next time they come. Do you think I kept you here because I really couldn't stand them? On one hand, I wanted my daughter to feel better—I couldn't just kick you out the moment you came home. On the other hand, I wanted to show them that they can't just go back on what was agreed before the wedding; our family needs to take a stand. But looking at the facts, is there really a problem with their arrangement?
"The Jiangs only have Jiang Yuan. Who is all that money for if not the two of you? Your in-laws' work is, frankly, manual labor. If your mother-in-law stays home, your father-in-law can't handle it alone. What then? Hire someone? Would you go do the work? If they both stop working and you go out to get a job, could you earn that much money?
"Besides, as the mother, isn't it more convenient for you to look after the baby and breastfeed? Think about it—doesn't that make sense? Your in-laws said they feel guilty for not being able to help physically, so they’ll give you five thousand yuan a month as a subsidy. What do you think?"
He Mei’s face flushed as she prepared to argue, but her mother waved her off.
"My silly girl, what more do you want? Look at what you're holding in your arms. Do you really want a divorce now? Where else are you going to find someone with Jiang Yuan’s circumstances? Their family is acting honorably. In the old village, there were plenty of in-laws who gave neither money nor help. In the Jiang house, you don't have to worry about food or clothes, and you have money in your pocket. Just focus on raising your son well. Don't overthink things, and don't be so narrow-minded. You’re not a young maiden anymore. Think it over carefully."
And so, she was pushed back to the Jiang family, resentful and muddled.
In the blink of an eye, her son was six, and she was twenty-eight. She had spent half her life in a daze, always feeling unreconciled and as if she had let herself down.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 艾玛 (Àimǎ) | Aima | A popular Chinese brand of electric scooters. |
| 莲花 (Liánhuā) | Lianhua | The name of the residential neighborhood/district. |
| 晋宁 (Jìnníng) | Jinning | The name of the city. |
| 琼瑶 (Qióng Yáo) | Qiong Yao | A famous Taiwanese romance novelist known for highly emotional and melodramatic stories. |
| 珍珍姐 (Zhēnzhēn-jiě) | Sister Zhenzhen | The name Jiang Yuan called out in his sleep; 'jie' is an honorific for an older sister or slightly older female. |
| 何老四 (Hé Lǎosì) | He Old Four | He Mei's father's nickname (indicating he is the fourth child). |
| 坐月子 (zuò yuèzi) | postpartum recovery | The traditional Chinese practice of "sitting the month" after childbirth. |
