After the project in Longcheng concluded, Qi Lian returned two days later than the workers; he had to finalize the handover with the people from Lange.
There was a dinner banquet scheduled that evening with Lange and the mall management, but his heart was already home. He made an excuse and declined.
By the time he drove from Longcheng back to Jinning, dusk had already fallen.
He had sent several WeChat messages to Yu Mo:
*What time do you get off tonight?*
*Should I come pick you up?*
*I’ll take you out for dinner tonight, okay?*
He hadn't received a single reply.
Upon returning home, he tossed his tool bag and a pile of messy luggage into a corner and rushed into the bathroom.
He showered meticulously. While shaving in front of the mirror, he looked at his face from the left and then the right, feeling that he didn't look quite right.
He went to the wardrobe to find something to wear. He only had a few pieces of clothing in total, hanging next to Yu Mo’s clothes and occupying only a tiny sliver of space.
Aside from his thirty-yuan-for-two T-shirts, he only had two button-downs. One was a cream-colored linen shirt he had worn the first time he and Yu Mo went out to eat. He had bought it while shopping with Qi Shuai and Xiaoxiao; they had both said he looked good in it, so he bought it on the spot.
He didn't know if Yu Mo would think it looked good, but he put it on anyway.
He scanned the bedroom and saw a light blue dress draped over the bed. He picked it up and brought it to his nose; it carried the fresh scent of laundry detergent.
A smile touched his lips as he imagined Yu Mo hurriedly trying on clothes in the morning, being dissatisfied, and tossing it back. He turned and hung it back in the wardrobe.
The summer quilts on the bed were piled haphazardly. He leaned over to smooth them out, and seeing their two pillows lying side by side, a wave of tenderness washed over him.
Sharing a bed every night—there were no two people in the world more intimate than that. Now it was him and Yu Mo. Just the thought of it made his whole body feel warm.
He picked up Yu Mo’s pillow and buried his face in it.
By 7:00 PM, he could wait no longer and called Yu Mo’s cell phone.
"Where are you? Still haven't finished work?"
"I'm off. I'm just about to have dinner."
He heard a lot of noise in the background. A man’s voice asked, "Is it a left turn at this intersection?"
Yu Mo’s voice drifted further away as she said, "Yes," then she called back into the phone, "Qi Lian?"
Qi Lian heard himself ask coldly, "Who are you eating with? Did you see my messages?"
Yu Mo’s side went quiet for a few seconds, then she cried out in surprise, "You're back? Why didn't you tell me?"
"You're so busy you don't have time to message me, and no time to look at mine. I suppose you might not have time to bother with me at all."
"Nonsense!" Her voice moved away again as she said, "Liu Zhiyan, my boyfriend is back. Let's make this dinner quick."
Yu Mo found the meal completely tasteless. On the surface, she appeared normal, but her heart was burning with anxiety.
She stared at an antique-style teacup the color of the sky after rain, realizing that her longing had erupted like a flash flood, completely beyond her control.
Before 9:00 PM, she arrived back at the residential compound. She sent Qi Lian a message: *I’m back.*
She didn't receive a reply, but she didn't mind. She began to jog in her five-centimeter heels.
A passing stray cat was startled by her, letting out a yowl as it bolted into the holly bushes.
She turned a corner and suddenly saw Qi Lian walking toward her from the other end of the path. She stopped abruptly, hearing her own rapid breathing and the thumping of her heart.
She was actually a bit nearsighted and couldn't see his face from that distance, but one look at his tall, lean frame was enough to know it was him. She could never mistake him.
She remembered back in the spring, how he used to loiter by the entrance with that shiftless air, waiting every day in silence to walk her home.
He had always looked after her silently, asking for nothing in return, protecting her in this chaotic neighborhood.
Her eyes grew hot as she ran toward him.
She had gained a little weight over the past few months compared to the spring. Today, she was wearing a form-fitting silk dress; as she ran, it became quite obvious where the extra weight had settled, the movement drawing significant attention.
At first, Qi Lian’s attention was entirely captured by that sight. He sucked in a breath, and only then did he notice her high heels and her ankles, which looked like they were about to snap.
He strode toward her, shouting, "Don't run! Walk properly!"
Yu Mo couldn't hear a word he said. She dove headlong into his open arms.
Qi Lian held her tightly, crushing her into his embrace. He murmured against her neck, "My heart."
Yu Mo’s tears broke free.
When she opened her eyes again, she saw the old men and women cooling off downstairs. They had forgotten to wave their cattail fans, their cloudy eyes under drooping lids watching them like flashlights.
She pushed Qi Lian away and gestured in their direction. Qi Lian said nothing, simply taking her hand to lead her home.
Only the motion-sensor lights in the stairwell greeted them.
Qi Lian held her hand without speaking. When they reached the landing of the second floor, he suddenly spun around and pinned Yu Mo against the wall. His fingers pinched her chin as he lowered his head to kiss her.
Yu Mo was forced to tilt her head back to receive him. His assault was fierce and merciless; she had no strength to resist.
The motion-sensor light went out.
Outside, an elderly voice was saying, "We still need to burn some mugwort. Now that autumn is here, the mosquitoes are even worse."
"This summer was so hot, I'm afraid the winter won't be easy to get through."
Qi Lian released Yu Mo’s mouth. He watched her panting for breath; her naturally plump lips were swollen to twice their usual size. He leaned down and unceremoniously nipped them twice.
"I missed you to death."
Yu Mo pushed him. "Let's go inside."
Neither spoke as they entered the apartment one after the other.
Yu Mo used her arm to keep him at a distance, asking, "Have you eaten?"
Qi Lian’s unruly eyes stared at her in silence.
"That means no. Go make something to eat first. I'm going to shower."
She touched Qi Lian’s face. "You've lost weight."
She went to the bathroom to shower and hand-washed her underwear. When she came out, she saw Qi Lian hunched over a bowl of noodles in the kitchen. Without a word, she went to the balcony to hang her laundry.
Overnight, the temperature had dropped. The night breeze already carried the chill of autumn.
The moon hung at the edge of the sky like a silver plate, its light illuminating the world as bright as day.
After hanging the clothes, she leaned against the balcony railing to enjoy the breeze for a moment.
Qi Lian came out of the room holding a half-finished bottle of mineral water. He stood behind her, placing both hands on the railing beside her, locking her in his arms.
He rubbed his head against her neck and the side of her face. Yu Mo laughed and ducked her head to dodge him.
"What are you dodging for?" he asked, his tone unfriendly.
Yu Mo wasn't afraid of him at all. She just kept laughing and ignored him.
Qi Lian tilted his head back to take a sip of water, then leaned down to feed it into Yu Mo’s mouth.
On the path below, a couple was arguing. The girl turned to leave, and the boy grabbed her arm; the two were dragging each other back and forth.
Yu Mo recognized the couple; they were the same ones she had seen hugging and kissing downstairs a while ago.
"Are you wearing that scrap of cloth today?"
Qi Lian asked against her ear. His tone and his scorching breath gave her goosebumps all over.
"Mhm."
Qi Lian pressed himself even tighter against her, sandwiching her between the balcony and his body.
At first, she thought he was just standing too close, but she slowly realized something was very wrong. Her legs went weak. She turned her head and called out blurredly, "Qi Lian..."
Qi Lian gestured toward her body, his voice barely a whisper: "Want to try it?"
Yu Mo’s heart raced. She turned back in a panic. "No, no... there are people."
Qi Lian reached back and snatched a sheet hanging on a drying rack, wrapping it around both their waists without a word.
His arm hooked around Yu Mo’s waist and lifted her up.
The moon in Yu Mo’s eyes began to sway incessantly.
In the holly bushes below, several stray cats scurried about.
Qi Lian’s voice rumbled from his throat. "What are you afraid of? It's just what men and women do. Every household does it. Next time, wear that scrap of cloth for me inside the house."
Yu Mo recoiled, letting out a weak cry. "Qi Lian..."
Qi Lian reached out and covered her mouth, his large hand masking half her face.
In Yu Mo’s swaying world, nothing remained but this man’s warmth and scent.
The white moonlight shone down on the lovers; there was nowhere to hide.
Qi Lian carried the rag-doll-like Yu Mo into the bathroom.
After a while, the sound of splashing water rang out, followed by Qi Lian’s low, coaxing murmurs, and then ambiguous sounds.
Water was everywhere in the bathroom.
By the time Qi Lian carried the dried-off Yu Mo back to the bedroom, it was late into the night.
The large tree outside cast dancing shadows upon the window.
Qi Lian had intentionally left the balcony door open, closing only the screen door.
The cool autumn breeze lingered in the room, carrying a faint, ethereal scent of osmanthus.
Qi Lian pulled the summer quilt over Yu Mo while remaining brazenly naked himself.
He twirled a lock of Yu Mo’s hair with one hand, marveling at how a woman’s hair could be so soft.
"Sleepy?" he asked.
Yu Mo was so tired she didn't even want to move her toes.
"Let me tell you about my last few days. Your man was worked to death."
He recounted the events at the site. When he was alone, he hadn't felt much, but telling it to the woman he loved, he felt a hint of grievance.
Yu Mo went from being bleary-eyed to staring at him with wide eyes. She reached out to touch his face; no wonder he looked so much thinner. She scolded him:
"If that was the case, you shouldn't have come back in the middle of it. Qi Lian, sometimes you're too unreasonable. And just now, you shouldn't have... once... twice..."
Qi Lian laughed, finding her scolding quite pleasant. He teased her, "Shouldn't have once or twice what? Fucked you? Say it so I can hear."
Yu Mo glared at him.
He touched her face and said, "I'm not afraid of hard work. I have a strong constitution. Right now, what I fear most is you—fear you'll ignore me, fear you won't want me, fear that if I don't see you for a few days, you'll have a change of heart and forget me."
Yu Mo wrapped her arms around his neck. "What do you take me for? I missed you too. I've had things going on these past few days."
One of the indicators in her mother’s cervical exam hadn't been good. She had gone to Shanghai last weekend to accompany her mother for a more comprehensive check-up.
Everyone was anxiously awaiting the results, which would take ten days.
"Why didn't you tell me? Keeping such a big thing bottled up inside."
Qi Lian spoke with a touch of irritation after hearing her out.
"There are no results yet. There's no need for another person to worry. Liu Zhiyan’s mother is a professor at the medical school; he helped me understand a lot."
Qi Lian pulled her out of his embrace and looked at her. "You told him about this, but not me?"
He felt the fire of jealousy burn from the depths of his heart, a sense of crisis born from not being trusted. But his worry for her outweighed his petty thoughts, and he continued:
"Tell me if you need me to do anything. If you need money, use mine as you please. If it's not enough, tell me. A payment of over a hundred thousand should hit my account in the next couple of days. Once it arrives, I'll transfer it to you immediately."
Yu Mo refused repeatedly. "No, no, it's not needed. My parents aren't short on money. I don't want your money, Qi Lian. Hearing you talk about the work you do... it really breaks my heart. Keep your money safe; it's your hard-earned pay. I never intended to touch the money you left with me either. I'll transfer it back to you tomorrow. Keep it for yourself. I have money; I'm not lacking."
Qi Lian waited for her to finish, just staring at her face, trying to read the meaning behind her expression. His brow bone was high, and his eyes glared with a fiery intensity that made his overall expression look menacing.
"What do you mean? Is my money too hot to handle? You've always looked down on it. Or do you think this money is covered in dust and woodchips and isn't 'high-class' enough? I'm telling you, Yu Mo, don't keep drawing lines between us. It's useless! Now that you're with me, don't even think about running. Whether you take my money or not, you're my woman."
A pair of amber eyes flashed before his mind—eyes filled with coldness and an unspeakable contempt.
This afternoon, when he returned to Jinning, he had stopped to refuel at a gas station on the East Ring Road.
A black sedan had pulled up beside him. The black-tinted rear window rolled down, and a man leaned over to scrutinize him through the glass.
That gaze was like a snake’s venomous flicking tongue, looking him over from head to toe, lingering for a few seconds on his rough, peeling sneakers.
Those amber eyes had locked with his for a few seconds before the window slowly rolled up and the black car drove away soundlessly.
In those few seconds, Qi Lian had stood up straight. He had an intuition that this person was connected to Yu Mo and that the encounter wasn't accidental.
That man was cold and clean. His hair, his clothes, even his car made one feel he was excessively clean.
Was that kind of cleanliness the only thing worthy of Yu Mo?
At the time, Qi Lian was unshaven, his clothes were dusty, and even his car was covered in a thick layer of grime he hadn't had time to wash. In that man’s eyes, he had read the word "trash."
He squeezed Yu Mo’s waist and said fiercely, "I don't care what you think. Since you came to Lianhua and let me see you, and since you've gotten into my bed, I don't care about anything else. Don't even think about running. Just stay with me with a peaceful heart. I'll let you do whatever else you want. If you want the stars in the sky, I'll pluck them for you."
There was no logic to his obsession.
Yu Mo stroked his head and said, "What's wrong, Qi Lian? I'm just worried about you. Don't overthink things."
Qi Lian pulled her into his arms, taking a long while to calm down.
He said softly, "Jiang Yuan’s wife is pregnant."
Yu Mo cried out in surprise, "Really? That’s wonderful news!"
"I'm the same age as him, and he already has two kids," he muttered.
"Do you like children?" Yu Mo asked him.
"That depends on whose child it is. If you were willing to bear one for me, I’d treasure them like a pearl. Little Jasmine, have you thought about the future? Our future. I know there are many obstacles. At least let me know where to direct my efforts, what I can do."
Yu Mo didn't speak for a long time.
The wind stirred the curtains, carrying away the summer heat.
"Qi Lian, what do you see in me? My beauty? If my mother has cervical cancer, there's a high probability I'll inherit it too. I'm not a submissive or virtuous person either. Qi Lian, I think you could find someone better."
Qi Lian felt a rush of frantic irritation, as if a knife had been plunged into his heart. The sensation was indescribable—a mix of urgency, anger, and pain.
He pinched Yu Mo’s cheeks with his thumb and forefinger, turning her toward him. "Is that how you see me? Has everything I said to you before been eaten by dogs? Just because I told you I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, you think I'm the kind of guy who can't walk straight when he sees a pretty girl, someone who'd give his life and soul to just anyone? If that were the case, why do you think I've been single until now? Huh? You're really goddamn infuriating."
He squeezed Yu Mo’s face hard a few times until she cried out for mercy.
"What did I tell you? I said between me and the world, I choose you. You said you remembered—where did you store that memory? Don't talk about the possibility of you getting sick in the future; even if you were sick in bed right now and couldn't get up, I’d still want you. I would take perfect care of you. I have experience. I wouldn't trust a sick you to anyone else. There's only one thing: you can't leave before me. I've had enough of life-and-death partings. If it really comes to that, I'm going with you."
With her face being squeezed, Yu Mo squeezed out a few muffled words: "What nonsense are you talking! Let go of my face."
Qi Lian let go.
Once free, Yu Mo was so angry she began to twist and pinch him everywhere. The man was too strong; if he didn't let her, she wouldn't even be able to move a finger.
She scolded him huffily, "Is this how you're 'good' to me? Next time you're angry, are you going to hit me?"
"Do you even believe that yourself? Me, hit you? Whether a man truly loves you or not—I don't believe a woman wouldn't know in her heart. Go ahead, hit me. Hit me however you want, use a stick, I won't dodge once. As long as you don't cross that bottom line, you can do whatever you want. I've said it before."
"I'll think about what to do next. You need to think it through too."
"Think about what? My life is already in your hands. What is there for me to think about? Is it even up to me?"
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 朗格 | Lange | A company name. |
| 雨过天晴色 | Sky-after-rain blue | A traditional Chinese ceramic glaze color (celadon/pale blue). |
| 刘知砚 | Liu Zhiyan | A male character, acquaintance of Yu Mo. |
| 艾草 | Mugwort | A plant often burned to repel insects. |
| 蒲扇 | Cattail fan | A traditional hand fan made from palm or cattail leaves. |
| 小朵儿 | Little Jasmine | A pet name for Yu Mo (Mo/Moli means Jasmine). |
