The floor-to-ceiling windows on the twenty-sixth floor were shielded by Venetian blinds, firmly locking out the natural light and the city’s clamor, turning the room into an isolated island. Thick carpets swallowed footsteps and every other disturbance. In a corner of the room, a floor lamp remained lit, its dim yellow glow serving as a small sanctuary within the island.
Xue Shen sat on a sofa far from the light source. His face was hidden in the shadows—half in darkness, half in light—leaving only his sharp, blade-like nose impossible to ignore.
The sofa beneath him looked unremarkable, yet it was a designer piece crafted from the finest top-grain sheepskin, designed to provide the softest, most tender comfort to those whose hearts were riddled with holes.
The indoor temperature and humidity were perpetually and precisely controlled to the most comfortable levels.
"Everyone thinks I should be perfect in everything I do. They don't say it out loud, but that is what they demand of me. The moment they are dissatisfied, they accuse me of being careless and vent their rage on me. They say, 'You're so smart, how could you not do this well?' But no one can be perfect in everything; no one is omnipotent. At least, I am not! Yet they all believe I am. I carry a frame on my back, and I can no longer tell if I chose to carry it or if they forced it upon me. I’m so tired. Sometimes I just want to lie in the middle of the road, disheveled and filthy, thinking of nothing. When it’s time to eat, I’d just put a bowl in front of me and wait for a kind soul to give alms. Whoever wants to despise me, let them."
He stared into the void. An hourglass on the table ran its tireless race.
"But that will never happen. I don't want to lose. I must win. I must win at everything. No one can stop me from achieving my goals—not even myself. If my own arm became a hindrance to my goal, I would hack it off without hesitation. There is only one person in this world who exists outside these rules. For her, I can make an exception."
A voice, completely hidden in the shadows, asked him, "Do you feel that is a betrayal?"
"No! How could I betray her? No one else can ever enter my heart. She is forever herself; no other woman is her. But if she feels it is a betrayal, then I will repent! As long as she is happy, I will do anything."
"She is forever perfect, like white snow. I cannot tarnish her. I need destruction, ruin, devastation... I cannot vent these things on her. I need another outlet. How could that be betrayal? It is clearly love for her."
On that night of howling cold winds, while the indoor temperature was as warm as spring, the words "Xue Shen, I’m leaving you" had completely upended his world. It was a sharp blade that cut him into a thousand pieces, leaving behind only fragments. His world had never moved past that winter night.
He had been abandoned, tossed into a foul-smelling gutter like a piece of rag.
Left with no place for burial.
The psychological counselor kept a low profile in the darkness, not interrupting the confession. This tone and cadence were so familiar; whether these clients were thirty, forty, or fifty, they were all the same type of person. Their clothes never had a single unintended wrinkle; even their sideburns were perfectly shaped. They were ambitious, goal-oriented, extremely disciplined, and allowed themselves no room for failure.
They were glamorous in public, haloed by success. All the pressure that had nowhere to go was released through a raised whip; weak, obedient women were the best outlets.
They were prisoners of themselves.
The counselor glanced toward the floor-to-ceiling windows. The twenty-sixth floor. A fall from here would leave one shattered. Everyone was standing on the edge of a cliff, staring into the abyss.
***
By seven or eight in the morning, the sun was already hanging in the sky. The lush leaves were a vivid, dripping green under the sunlight, bursting with vitality.
Qi Lian drove his rarely used pickup truck out of the garage. After a long struggle with reversing, he finally managed to park the rear of the truck facing the building entrance.
This pigeon-grey pickup had been bought several years ago. It was a second-hand vehicle to begin with, and though he didn't drive it often, the body was covered in scars. The paint was chipped in several places, giving it a dusty, bedraggled look.
Qi Shuai was waiting at the entrance. Seeing the truck parked, he didn't wait for a greeting; he grabbed a bundle of electrical wires and tossed them toward the back.
Qi Lian had just stepped out of the driver's seat. Seeing this, he called out to stop him, "Wait a second. How many times have I told you? Don't throw things like that."
He stuffed the car keys into his pocket, braced himself against the truck's side panel, and nimbly vaulted into the bed. Stretching out his hands, he signaled for Qi Shuai to toss them over.
Qi Shuai bent down, picked up a bundle of wires, and threw them, grumbling, "What’s so precious about them? We used to do it like this all the time. Why the sudden delicacy?"
Qi Lian’s eyes tracked the flying wires like a hawk. He caught them cleanly in mid-air, his muscles tensing, then turned and placed the wires down gently.
He lectured Qi Shuai, "Fix that sloppy attitude of yours and give me a hundred and twenty percent focus. Things aren't like they used to be; we aren't some guerrilla squad waiting on a street corner for someone to call us. Especially with the work for Mage—you all better keep your skin tight. Don't go losing face by having to redo the work later."
Qi Shuai scoffed, "I hate those people. I’m telling you, they make a big deal out of every little thing. Nitpicking, eyes growing on their foreheads."
Qi Lian felt like giving him a kick. "I hate your lack of ambition. If you want to make the big bucks, you have to follow the rules. You can't just try to fudge everything and then act like you're at odds with the whole world."
Mage was a lighting design studio that had risen to fame in the last two years. They specialized in "no-main-light" spatial illumination and were quite famous online. Their designs were unconventional and demanded high standards for circuit construction; some of their more whimsical designs were impossible for average technicians to implement.
Qi Lian was anxious to finish the job at Yuhu just so he could start on Mage’s commercial lighting project, which had already been delayed for several days.
Qi Shuai said flatteringly, "Isn't that why we have you, Brother? I could never dream of reaching your level of skill. Then again, there aren't many people in all of Jinning as skilled as you. Otherwise, as arrogant as they are, they wouldn't pay top dollar and still wait for you."
Qi Lian caught the last bundle of wires and stacked them. Sweat broke out on his forehead, glistening in the sunlight. He jumped down from the truck bed and slammed the tailgate shut with a "clack."
Qi Shuai ran back from the front of the truck, winking and nudging him. "Brother, Brother, look! A beauty up ahead."
Qi Lian stepped out from behind the truck and looked in the direction he was pointing.
High heels went *clack-clack*, and a slender waist swayed like a willow branch. Qi Lian’s lips curled into a smirk, assuming a rakish air.
Qi Shuai put two fingers to his mouth, about to whistle, but Qi Lian slapped his hand down and kicked him. "Are you in heat? What are you looking at? Don't stare at things you shouldn't."
He tossed the keys to Qi Shuai. "You drive. Drive properly, and don't act like you've got rabies."
The two of them got into the truck from opposite sides. Qi Shuai spent a long time adjusting the seat before shifting gears and hitting the gas; he was much shorter than Qi Lian.
Qi Lian rolled down the window and rested his arm on the frame. The spring breeze blew through his dark, buzz-cut hair.
"Brother, Old Hong said he’s negotiating a project in Shicheng. Since we’re wrapping up here, he wants you to go to Shicheng to help out."
"I'm not going. I'm not taking any jobs outside the city lately."
Qi Shuai was so shocked he nearly bit his tongue. "Wait, Brother, what’s the deal? Aren't out-of-city jobs the best? You can make an extra hundred or two a day, plus room and board. Why aren't you taking them?"
Qi Lian glanced at him and said dismissively, "Am I short on that kind of money?"
Qi Shuai quickly changed his tune. "No! Brother, you're not short! You can get that just by asking for a higher price. The point is, *we* are damn well short! They only want us because they want you to go. If you don't go, why would they drag us all that way? My dear brother!"
As the pickup exited the residential complex gates, Qi Lian looked around outside the window. Several giant buses from the electronics factory were parked at the entrance, but no people were visible.
He looked back and answered absentmindedly, "We'll see when the time comes. Depends on the situation."
Qi Shuai turned on the radio, and they listened to the morning news for a while. The news mentioned that Jinning’s real estate market was expected to do well, with a recent surge in transaction volume.
Qi Shuai said, "Brother, Xiaoxiao wants me to buy a house."
Qi Lian turned to look at him. "How old is she? Not even twenty-three? Can't she wait two years? Do you even have the money right now?"
Qi Shuai replied gloomily, "Where would I get the money? I don't even have enough to cover my monthly spending. I've tried everything to talk her out of it, but she won't listen. She says prices are going to rise and we have to buy now. She even said that even if we marry in two years, we have to buy now for the renovations and all that. It’s a massive pain."
"Doesn't she know how much you earn? She wants to eat well, dress well, and buy a house. She might as well sell you; it’d be faster."
Qi Shuai said, exasperated, "Women are vain sometimes. You can't explain anything to them; they just get a one-track mind."
Qi Lian countered, "Isn't that a habit you fucking spoiled her into? I've never heard of a man who couldn't live without a woman. Deal with your own woman yourself; I can't be bothered to say more."
The truck turned onto Yingchun Road and slowed to a crawl. There was a primary school ahead, and the cars and scooters dropping off children had essentially blocked the road.
Qi Shuai’s hand hovered over the steering wheel, itching to move. Qi Lian warned him, "Honking is a violation here! Stay put and don't act like you've got fucking rabies!"
Qi Shuai didn't dare honk, so he kicked the car door instead and cursed, "Fuck!"
Qi Lian saw a chubby little boy at the school gate twisting his body to snatch a steamed bun from his mother’s hand. His mother was pushing him toward the gate, but he stood rooted to the spot, wolfing down the bun.
After watching for a moment, Qi Lian said, "If it's for the wedding, I can take back that seventy-square-meter apartment of mine and stop renting it out. You two can use it as your marital home. Isn't that the same as having your own place? You can stay as long as you want; I don't need that bit of rent."
"It won't work. She insists on having her own house, and her name *must* be on the deed. Dammit, I don't know which idiot online she listened to, but she prattles on to me every day about 'security.'"
Qi Lian laughed out of sheer irritation. "I think *you're* the idiot! Why don't you just stop supporting your grandmother too? She's a burden. Women are so important, aren't they? You can't even fucking survive without one."
Qi Shuai frantically kicked the car door several more times.
"Kick it again and I'll boot you out of the truck, you believe me?"
***
