“Your face is a bit flushed,” Si Bin noted. “Is it a lack of oxygen?”
Lin Murun raised a hand to touch his burning cheek and shook his head. “No, I…” He paused, unable to finish the sentence.
Si Bin handed him a thermos filled with hot water. “Is it because of that phone call?”
“Yes.” Lin Murun took the thermos and lowered his gaze. “It was Bei Fan.”
Si Bin’s brow furrowed slightly at the mention of the name. “He called you?”
“He still wants to remarry Wu Chuchu,” Lin Murun said. “And she knows he used to have a boyfriend.”
Si Bin remained silent for a long time after hearing this. Finally, he asked, “Bei Fan must have told you, then? That his ex-boyfriend is my cousin.”
“He did,” Lin Murun replied.
Si Bin looked out at the falling rain. “That’s why I don’t like him,” he said slowly. “Back then, Shen Xingzhi’s coming out caused a massive stir… Shen Xingzhi is my cousin’s name. You’ve met him.”
“Yes,” Lin Murun nodded.
“At that time, most people’s understanding of homosexuality was far less than it is now. Everyone said Shen Xingzhi was sick. People pointed fingers at him, both to his face and behind his back.” Si Bin lowered his eyes, his voice deepening. “He bore the pressure of public opinion and the cold glares all by himself. They even took his photo down from the honors wall.”
He looked at Lin Murun. “Doesn’t it seem strange? Coming out involves two people, yet in the end, Shen Xingzhi was the one who shouldered everything.”
Lin Murun thought for a moment and guessed, “Because Bei Fan didn’t dare speak up? Because he hid behind him the whole time?”
“That’s essentially it,” Si Bin continued. “Shen Xingzhi came out, but Bei Fan never took a stand. He had dated girls before, so many people assumed he had simply been led astray by Shen Xingzhi.”
“But the one who confessed first was Bei Fan.” Si Bin closed his eyes briefly. “He pursued Shen Xingzhi for an entire semester, only to vanish into thin air when Shen Xingzhi needed support the most.”
“He was like that ten years ago, and he hasn’t changed. If anything, he’s worse now. The reason I believed Wu Chuchu didn’t know Shen Xingzhi was because…” Si Bin paused for a beat before continuing, “Because when Wu Chuchu’s child was born, Bei Fan and Shen Xingzhi hadn’t officially broken up yet.”
Lin Murun frowned. “But he said—”
Before he could finish, the lights in the stairwell suddenly vanished, plunging their surroundings into darkness.
Startled, Lin Murun quickly looked out the window.
It wasn’t just the interior; even the streetlights outside had gone out. The entire library was a black void, looking somewhat ominous.
The door to the study room opened, and a student poked their head out. Turning back to their companion inside, they said, “The lights in the hallway are out too.”
Si Bin looked up at the light fixtures. “It must be a power outage.”
“Huh? Why is the power out at this hour?”
More students emerged from the pitch-black study rooms, gathering in the corridor.
“What happened?”
“I heard it’s a blackout.”
“It’s so cold. What are we going to do if the power stays out?”
The beam of a flashlight flickered in the distance. A security guard shouted through a megaphone, “Don’t panic, students! It’s just a tripped circuit breaker. Please return to your classrooms and sit down. Do not congregate in the hallway.”
He repeated the announcement two or three times, but it wasn’t very effective. No student was willing to go back into a deserted, lightless study room.
The corridor was crowded; being squeezed together seemed to provide a sense of security.
Lin Murun and Si Bin retreated to a corner by the window.
Though the window was closed, thin wisps of wind still whistled through the cracks and into the hallway.
After standing there for a while, Lin Murun felt a chill. He unscrewed his thermos and took a few sips of hot water.
As the hot steam rose, the lenses of his glasses were instantly coated in a layer of white mist.
“Oh? Look! Is it snowing?”
A student pointed out the window in surprise.
“Wow! It really is!”
Lin Murun took off his glasses and looked outside. Amidst the pitter-patter of the rain, numerous fine, white snowflakes were mixed in, emitting a faint glow in the darkness.
“This is the first snow of winter,” Si Bin said softly beside him.
Lin Murun looked at the damp ground. “I wonder how long it will last.”
Si Bin smiled. “Snow in H City never lasts very long.”
“Mm.” Lin Murun withdrew his gaze.
“If you want to see real snow, we can go north together during winter break,” Si Bin suggested. “The snow there is much more beautiful than in H City.”
Lin Murun thought about it. “We’ll be starting our senior year next year. The school might arrange extra classes during winter break. Excluding the days for Lunar New Year, there probably won't be enough time for a long trip.”
Si Bin considered this. “You’re right. But if we calculate it that way, the plan to see the snow will have to be put off until the winter break of our freshman year in college.”
“It’s okay.” Lin Murun smiled. “It’s only two years. I can wait.”
Just as he spoke, the lights overhead suddenly flared to life.
His eyes had grown accustomed to the dark, and the sudden intensity of the light made Lin Murun instinctively close them.
A clamor broke out around them as students shouted, “The power’s back!”
A hand covered Lin Murun’s closed eyes.
“Don’t open them yet.”
Si Bin’s voice came from above him.
Si Bin’s palm was warm and dry. His sleeve carried a faint, slightly strange scent—a mix of laundry detergent and hot pot seasoning—but Lin Murun felt no urge to pull away.
With his vision obscured, he instinctively raised his hand and touched Si Bin’s wrist.
“Si Bin.” Lin Murun opened his eyes, his long, thick lashes brushing against Si Bin’s palm.
The soft sensation against his hand made Si Bin’s heart race. He cleared his throat and withdrew his hand, his words suddenly stumbling. “I… I was afraid the light was too bright and would make you uncomfortable.”
“Right, you haven’t told me yet… what else did Bei Fan say?” Si Bin abruptly changed the subject.
The moment Si Bin’s hand pulled away, Lin Murun’s cheek, which had just been warmed by the palm, was exposed to the cold air again.
The scent from Si Bin’s cuff seemed to linger at the tip of his nose. Lin Murun belatedly raised a hand to rub his eyes.
“Don’t rub them.” Si Bin reached out and gently stopped Lin Murun’s movement. “Just close them and rest for a bit, and you’ll be fine.”
Lin Murun nodded, but instead of following the advice, he reached out and grasped Si Bin’s fingers.
Si Bin froze. His eyes widened slightly, but he didn't have time to make any other reaction.
The power was back, but few people returned to the study rooms. Students gathered in small groups in the hallway to watch the snow, continuing their interrupted conversations.
No one noticed Si Bin and Lin Murun in the corner.
Lin Murun slowly raised his eyes to look at Si Bin.
Si Bin had just gotten a haircut a week ago, and his longish bangs had been trimmed away. From Lin Murun’s perspective, all of Si Bin’s current emotions were written clearly in his obsidian-like eyes.
Astonishment, surprise, and a hint of joy.
Lin Murun remembered the rainy night he first met Si Bin.
Back then, Si Bin had stood under a long-handled black umbrella. He was very tall and had a habit of looking down at people, his handsome eyes hidden beneath long bangs. He had looked somewhat lazy and detached, making it impossible to guess what he was thinking.
The Si Bin of that time seemed different from the one standing here now.
Lin Murun recalled what Gao Yuan had said in the hospital.
“I think the way he treats you is… different from how he treats everyone else.”
He remembered the expression on Gao Yuan’s face.
With his leg in a cast, Gao Yuan had rubbed his chin, his tone certain.
The weather that morning hadn't been great. Many drifting clouds filled the sky, with occasional rays of sunlight peeking through the gaps, falling briefly into the hospital room before vanishing again.
Lin Murun didn't know why he could remember so many trivial details. Compared to the knowledge in his textbooks, these memories were utterly insignificant.
Perhaps it was because the subject of Gao Yuan’s words had been Si Bin.
Lin Murun loosely held Si Bin’s hand, his heart thundering like a drum.
He could tell that Si Bin had no intention of pulling away, so he tightened his grip slightly.
*If Si Bin shows even the slightest hint of discomfort, I’ll let go immediately,* Lin Murun thought.
Si Bin’s hand moved.
Lin Murun’s heart leaped into his throat.
Si Bin looked down at him tenderly, then turned his hand over to interlace their fingers.
Si Bin’s movement was very gentle, as if he were afraid of hurting him. But because of this tender response, the weight in Lin Murun’s heart finally lifted.
“Lin, I…” Si Bin began, but Lin Murun interrupted him.
“Bei Fan… Bei Fan said…” Lin Murun looked at Si Bin, stammering, “He said he had already broken up with your cousin when he got together with Wu Chuchu. He also said… he also said…”
“Mm.” Si Bin nodded, signaling for him to continue.
“He also said… that you like me.”
Lin Murun’s voice grew smaller and smaller. By the time he finished the sentence, his face was burning hot.
Outside, the snow continued to fall. Behind them, the sounds of laughter and chatter from other students drifted over.
Si Bin looked into Lin Murun’s eyes. After a moment, he leaned down slightly, bringing his lips close to Lin Murun’s ear, and whispered, “He’s right. Lin, I like you.”
“What about you?” Si Bin asked. “Do you like me?”
Lin Murun felt shy under his gaze and lowered his eyes. “I thought about that question seriously just now.”
“I think… I like you too.”
Lin Murun’s eyes were clear and focused. Amidst the noisy crowd in the corridor, Si Bin quietly squeezed his hand.
Snowflakes fell, drifting down to melt upon the damp ground.
“Then… can you be my boyfriend?” Lin Murun asked in a small voice.
“I already am,” Si Bin said with a smile. He straightened up, looked out the window, and said to Lin Murun, “I used to think two years was a long time, but now I suddenly feel like it might not be that long at all.”
“We can go to the north first, then to Finland. If we have time, I want to take you to see the snow all over the world.” Si Bin gently squeezed his fingers. “Not just for two years, but for ten, twenty… for a very long time in the future, I want to be by your side.”
