The auction was set for sunset. The afternoon was reserved for sparring and performances, while the midday featured a banquet for the guests. In the center of the lake stood an exquisite bamboo house, open on all sides to the breeze. Over a hundred attendees were present, each seated on the floor at individual tables. With jade plates of delicacies and the gentle strains of string and flute music, the warm air felt intoxicating despite it being late autumn.
The air was filled with a chorus of "I have long looked forward to meeting you" and "A pleasure, a pleasure," making it feel much like a modern social mixer.
I suspected my usual behavior might not align with current etiquette, so I stopped letting Ye Tan feed me. Aside from him occasionally placing food on my plate, I made sure to remain still and inconspicuous.
The guests barely ate a few bites before they began wandering around with wine cups in hand, chatting eloquently. Before long, I noticed people frequently glancing at the two of us and whispering.
The guests at the banquet were all dashing young men. They possessed the lithe, sturdy builds of martial artists, yet retained the scholarly air of the literati, all while carrying themselves with aristocratic grace. Their clothing and belongings were of the finest quality. Surrounded by them, Ye Tan and I were indeed a jarring sight.
While Ye Tan’s features were by no means lacking, his current cultivation was shallow, which inevitably drew disdain. This was especially true of the "Little Scrub Sword"—no, the Great Treasure Sword—hanging at his waist, which attracted even more unwanted attention.
I didn't care for myself, but I feared Ye Tan might take it to heart. I stole a glance at him, only to find him focused entirely on the grilled fish in his hands, completely oblivious to the mocking looks around him. On second thought, my shadow guard’s heart was as vast as the ocean...
Sigh. I, however, couldn't find it in me to be happy.
Seeing me look at his way, Ye Tan immediately misinterpreted my gaze. He picked out the bones from a piece of fish and placed the meat into my porcelain bowl.
"Wait, that's not what I meant..." I said quickly.
Ye Tan asked, "Are you not going to eat?"
"I'll eat."
Is there anything in this world more difficult than eating fish? No.
I believed I was being well-behaved and low-profile, but clearly, someone thought otherwise. A man carrying a bowl of hibiscus soup sauntered over. With a smirk and a casual "Oh, my hand slipped," he tipped the bowl toward me. Though I now had a massive reserve of internal energy that sharpened my senses, my physical body remained sluggish by comparison. I couldn't dodge in time. I watched as Ye Tan swept his arm around me; every drop of the soup splashed onto his hair and shoulder instead.
What was the meaning of this?
I wasn't so much angry as I was confused.
"You certainly know how to protect the 'fairer' one," the Hibiscus Soup man said, eyeing Ye Tan with a sneer. "It’s one thing for a man to have a penchant for the southern breeze, but I’m warning you both: to avoid insulting the prestige of the famous blades and swords here today, you’d best take your little catamite and get out of here."
Ye Tan’s hostility suddenly flared. He pulled me behind him.
I grew even more confused. I felt I had been very well-behaved today. Besides, there were plenty of other young masters nearby laughing and drinking with beautiful women in their arms. Why target us specifically?
So, I asked honestly, "There are people hugging and cuddling over there too. Why are you picking on us?"
Hibiscus Soup snapped, "How can you be the same?!"
I was full of question marks. "Is it not the same???"
The man was so enraged he was momentarily speechless. I took the opportunity to reflect. Perhaps the difference was that the two of us looked too pathetic, dragging down the average aesthetic of the assembly.
What a joke. I, the Creator, have thirty thousand points of cultivation. I can fight; I just *look* pathetic.
At that thought, I gently pushed Ye Tan to the side. I lifted my right hand from beneath the table. Watch me show off a little by flipping this table.
I controlled my strength, channeling only five percent of my power. With a slight lift and a wicked smirk, I said fiercely, "My aim has always been poor. Why don't you say that again—"
The entire table soared into the air.
The roof of the grand hall...
Followed it.
And flew away together.
The hundred-odd attendees suddenly felt a chill over their heads. Exposed to the vast, open sky, they instantly became as quiet as chickens.
"—one more time," I finished the second half of my line.
Counting the time I missed when trying to hit Ze Que, I realized my aim was indeed terrible.
The roof spun several times high in the air before exploding into countless fragments that rained down. The jagged ends of the broken bamboo were as sharp as spears and arrows. As they accelerated in their descent, the momentum became terrifying.
If anyone were hit, the consequences would be unthinkable. The elegant guests, who had been so engrossed in their refined conversation moments ago, scattered in an instant, leaping into the lake to seek refuge.
Ye Tan grabbed me by the waist, intending to jump in as well. My face went pale with fright. He reacted quickly, asking, "You can't swim?"
Before I could answer, he nimbly kicked several tables, stacking them like a sturdy shield. He rolled and pulled me along the ground, locking me firmly in his arms as cries of alarm and the sound of shattering wood erupted all around us.
I was shaken to the core, wishing I could shrink into a ball in his embrace, while silently praising Ye Tan’s quick wits. He didn't know that with my measly ten health points, jumping into the water would have been a one-way trip. To him, he was likely just worried I’d be uncomfortable choking on water; to me, it was a matter of life and death.
Once the sounds of impact subsided, Ye Tan lifted the tables and helped me up. The lakeside bamboo house was a scene of ruin and desolation. The guests, looking like drowned rats, were on the shore wiping mud and water off themselves. The host’s servants were frantically fishing out the guests who couldn't swim. It was a truly pathetic sight.
Everyone was covered in mud and algae, half-black and half-green, some even sporting a white lotus on their heads. Only Ye Tan and I stood there perfectly clean, making us feel like we were sitting on a bed of needles under everyone's stares.
Yang Qingzhou, who had rushed over upon hearing the news, looked at Ye Tan and me in stunned disbelief.
I said awkwardly, "My hand slipped. My apologies, my apologies."
If Ye Tan’s nickname in the martial world was the Scapegoat, I suppose mine would be the Slip-of-the-Hand Hero.
Yang Qingzhou couldn't tell what had actually happened and didn't dare judge blindly. Following the etiquette of a host, he first sent everyone back to wash up and change. I took the opportunity to pull Ye Tan away, keeping my mouth shut as we fled.
Since Ye Tan had been splashed with the hibiscus soup, I took it upon myself to help him remove his upper garment. Only then did I realize a patch of his neck had been scalded red.
"It was that hot?" I said angrily. "How could you not say a word!"
Ye Tan simply said, "It wasn't hot."
I grew even angrier. "I've never lied to you, and this is how you repay me?"
Ye Tan didn't dare answer.
I said, "I'll give you one more chance."
"...It was a little bit hot," Ye Tan promised repeatedly. "Really. Just a tiny bit..."
I applied a cold towel and pressed it gently against the burn, muttering, "If I'd known, I should have flipped the table right into his face."
"He would have died," Ye Tan reminded me calmly.
"True."
Fearing he might catch a cold, I wrapped a cloak around him. Then, I recalled the words the soup-thrower had said earlier.
"Ah-Tan, why did that man want to pick a fight with us?" I wondered aloud. "He said we were 'not the same.' What exactly is the difference?"
Ye Tan hesitated for a rare moment before saying, "Because both Master and subordinate are men."
"Is it because of gender?" I was surprised.
Ye Tan nodded.
To be honest, I didn't have much of a concept of gender. It was all data that could be modified; I didn't see what the big deal was.
"I can be a woman," I said, feeling it wouldn't be difficult at all.
Ye Tan’s face drained of color. "Master, what nonsense are you talking about!"
I added, "Oh, then I could also turn Ah-Tan into a woman." Although that would have to wait until I regained administrator privileges, it wasn't impossible.
Ye Tan became even more terrified, stammering, "No, no, no, no need!!"
I observed him seriously for a while and deduced that his refusal was genuine, not just him being polite.
Since he was unwilling to solve the problem that way, I had to ask, "Exactly which things are not allowed between men?"
"...Just... just many things," Ye Tan said evasively. "Things that are common between a man and a woman are... not very good between men."
"Do you mean... feeding each other, hugging, supporting one another, or sleeping in the same bed? Those things?" I asked patiently.
Ye Tan said awkwardly, "More or less... and some other things."
"What happens if we do them? Will something go wrong? Will we die?" Seeing how serious he was, I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous too.
Ye Tan immediately said, "No, it wouldn't come to that."
I was a bit dazed. "Then doesn't that mean we can do all of them?"
Ye Tan looked at me, his eyes flickering as if I had said something earth-shattering. For some reason, his expression took on a trace of vivid intensity.
"It’s not quite the same," he said. "If one day you have a... woman you fancy, and you do these things with her, you will realize the difference."
"Oh." I nodded, feeling deeply that there were indeed many things I still needed to learn. "Then I'll try it another day."
Ye Tan closed his eyes and gave a soft "yes" in response. The vivid flush on the tips of his ears slowly faded.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 南风之癖 | Penchant for the southern breeze | A classical Chinese euphemism for male-male attraction or homosexuality. |
| 小倌 | Catamite | A term for a young male entertainer or male prostitute; used here as a derogatory slur. |
| 手滑侠 | Slip-of-the-Hand Hero | A sarcastic nickname the protagonist gives himself, mirroring Ye Tan's "Scapegoat" role. |
| 六星帚神 | Six-star Broom God | A reference to a common "weak" fodder unit in games (like Onmyoji), used here to contrast the sword's actual SSR power. |
