I had thought that accepting the position was merely a stalling tactic, a temporary measure until we could find an excuse to pass the title to someone else and return to our carefree lives. It wouldn't have been much of a bother.
To my surprise, becoming the Sect Leader of the First Sword Tomb was not something that could be settled in a day or two. According to the ancient precepts of the sect, the new leader was required to enter a three-month period of secluded meditation to study the sect’s history and scriptures. Only after successfully breaking through the final trial would the succession be considered complete.
My head began to throb just hearing it. Ye Tan asked, "Can this be skipped?"
Chou Wujiu shook his head. "Only after you have completed your seclusion will you be the official Sect Leader. If you wish to abolish this rule, you can only do so after you emerge."
Ye Tan looked deeply conflicted. I comforted him, saying, "You need to focus on your recovery and martial arts anyway. The First Sword Tomb is isolated from the world, making it the perfect place to focus without distractions. Who knows? This might be a blessing in disguise."
"As a shadow guard, how can I leave my master’s side for even a step?" Ye Tan frowned.
I couldn't help but laugh. "You are the leader of a sect now. Stop thinking of yourself as a mere attendant."
Ye Tan asked in a low voice, "...Does Master mean... to dismiss me?"
I had harbored this intention for a while, simply because I didn't want him to remain a lowly guard. Yet, I also had my reservations. If Ye Tan was no longer my shadow guard, what would our relationship be? Without the bond of master and servant, what... what reason would I have to see him?
At that thought, I said, "I need to think about it."
Ye Tan’s face turned pale at my words.
"Focus on your seclusion. Restoring your internal strength is the priority," I said, patting his shoulder to reassure him. "However, three months is a bit too long... This place is in the middle of nowhere, and I’ll be bored out of my mind. I’ll head back to Yangxi on my own first."
Ye Tan immediately disagreed. "You, alone? Absolutely not. It is too risky. Besides, we must remain vigilant against those who have been tailing us from the shadows."
Chou Wujiu interjected, "That is easily solved, Sect Leader. We can help you escort the young master back safely."
Ye Tan interrupted without hesitation, "I don't trust you."
Chou Wujiu looked like he was about to burst into tears as he declared his loyalty. "If even the slightest thing goes wrong, if even a single hair on Master Jun’s head is harmed, I am willing to take my own life to atone for it!"
Ye Tan’s expression remained cold. "Whether you live or die is of no concern to me. I will not gamble with my master’s life."
Chou Wujiu was overcome with grief, looking as though he wanted to carve out his own heart to prove his sincerity. I was also taken aback. "Ah Tan, this man is your subordinate now. Speaking to him like that is far too heartless. Have you learned nothing from how I usually treat my subordinates?"
"..." Ye Tan fell silent for a long moment, looking astonished. "To be like how you are to me? ...Are you... sure?"
I gave it some serious thought.
An image flashed through my mind: Chou Wujiu holding Ye Tan to feed him, helping him wash up, embracing him as they slept in the same bed at night, and even stealing a kiss while Ye Tan was asleep.
...?????????
I was shocked again. "No, no, no, let’s not do that."
Those things felt perfectly natural when I did them with him. Why did it feel so incredibly wrong when I imagined someone else doing them?
Ye Tan watched the shifting expressions on my face and muttered softly, "Where... where did your mind wander to?"
I shook the bizarre fantasies from my head and said seriously, "Then I shall send a letter to Ye Xiao and Ye Lan. Once they arrive to pick me up, will you be at ease?"
Ye Tan nodded, then asked Chou Wujiu, "Can the seclusion be delayed for two or three days?"
Chou Wujiu replied respectfully, "Everything is as the Sect Leader commands."
Once the matter was settled, we hurried back to our room to rest. The moment the tension of the past two days relaxed, a wave of exhaustion washed over me. The spot where I had been kicked in the back of the knees throbbed painfully, making it impossible to stand straight. I didn't even have to speak; Ye Tan understood immediately and carried me back to the room in his arms.
I had been jolted around on horseback for a day and a night, and my body was aching all over. Seeing my fatigue, Ye Tan had me lie face down on the bed and began to give me a gentle massage. It was a bit painful at first, but the soreness was quickly relieved, replaced by a soothing tenderness.
I indulged in the sensation for a while before suddenly snapping back to reality. "Ah Tan, you must be even more tired than I am. Stop the massage and come up here to rest."
Hearing this, Ye Tan withdrew his hands, took two steps back, and knelt on the floor. He prostrated himself, his forehead touching the ground as he pleaded, "I know I am incompetent, but I beg Master... please do not dismiss me."
He was still thinking about that...?
I wanted to help him up, but halfway through crawling toward him, I realized my legs were too weak to reach the floor. I could only say, "Come up here first before we talk."
Ye Tan stood up, removed his outer robe, and lay down beside me, his expression still filled with unease. After a moment of thought, I asked, "Ah Tan, if you weren't my shadow guard, what would you do?"
Ye Tan had clearly never considered this question. After thinking for a long time, he replied, "If Master no longer wants me, I would naturally be sent back to the Night Walkers to wait for my next master and risk my life for them."
I wasn't happy to hear that. Wasn't that just going in circles? I tried a different way of phrasing it. "What if you didn't have to be a shadow guard? What if you were a free man? Is there nothing you want to do for yourself?"
This time, Ye Tan answered quickly. "Even if I were not Master’s shadow guard, I would still follow and serve Master, ensuring Master’s safety."
Isn't that exactly the same thing?! Was I asking the question wrong? I racked my brain and added, "Then, suppose I had peerless martial arts and no one in the world could harm me. Suppose I didn't need protection?"
Ye Tan said, "Even if you wouldn't be hurt... it would still be good if I could handle the trivial nuisances for Master, so they don't bother your eyes."
"..." I let out a helpless sigh. "Can't you think of anything else besides protecting me?"
Ye Tan looked at me blankly.
I said solemnly, "Ah Tan, a man without a dream is no different from a salted fish."
Ye Tan said softly, "I have said before, in this life, I only wish to find a brilliant master and protect them with all my heart—"
I finally caught that sliver of doubt. "If our relationship is no longer that of master and servant... why exactly are you protecting me? Why... does it have to be me?"
Ye Tan said firmly, "You are everything I seek in this life."
I felt like he was dodging the question.
But I couldn't wrap my head around the issue at the moment, so I let it slide. I would ask him again once I had sorted out my own thoughts.
The First Sword Tomb hadn't seen such a major event in a long time, and the atmosphere had become much livelier, the gloomy aura dissipating significantly. I didn't know what Chou Wujiu was busy with all day, but he was constantly on the move, and I only saw him at dinner.
A question had been circling my mind all day, so I pulled him aside. "How does the strength of the First Sword Tomb compare to the rest of the martial world?"
Chou Wujiu laughed. "Isn't that obvious?"
I got straight to the point. "What if we went to war with the Second Young Master of Zhongli Manor?"
Chou Wujiu said proudly, "A guaranteed victory."
I nodded with satisfaction, but Ye Tan was surprised. "Master... you actually have such a thought?"
I immediately beamed with joy. "This is a golden opportunity delivered right to our door. Why not wipe away the past humiliation? He crippled your martial arts and kicked you out of the family. Once your strength is restored, wouldn't it be satisfying to march back to Zhongli Manor as a Sect Leader?"
"The Second Young Master was forced by circumstances; he did not betray me," Ye Tan shook his head.
I curled my lip. "You're still making excuses for him. He merely exploited your trust and loyalty to sacrifice you. He is a selfish villain through and through. You might be magnanimous, Ah Tan, but I mind it very much."
Ye Tan added, "Even if victory is certain, casualties are inevitable. These people are innocent. I... do not wish to cause lives to be lost for my own personal grudge."
"That’s true." To me, it was just a few words, but for the people of the First Sword Tomb, it would mean fighting with their lives. If I sacrificed these strangers for a moment of righteous indignation, how would I be any different from Zhongli Zixi, who sacrificed Ye Sha? I nodded and said, "Fine, I’ll spare Zhongli Zixi’s life. I won't mention it again."
Ye Tan hadn't expected me to be persuaded so easily. He pursed his lips and couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
I’ll just have to find a way to deal with him personally.
By the night of the third day, Ye Xiao arrived in a hurry. Following my instructions, the letter hadn't mentioned Ye Tan becoming the Sect Leader of the First Sword Tomb. He had thought something terrible had happened to us and had been quite frightened.
After explaining the situation, I added, "We don't know the motives of those following us. We should keep as much hidden as possible and try not to give them what they want. Where is Ye Lan?"
Ye Xiao said, "He’s waiting outside. I didn't know the situation in the tomb, so I didn't dare let him risk coming in."
With the handovers complete, it was time to depart. Ye Tan stood at the entrance of the tomb, quietly watching me leave. The ever-burning lamps along the passage flickered in his eyes. At that moment, I didn't yet understand the meaning of the sorrow of parting; I simply waved my hand and left without a hint of lingering attachment.
On the road, I looked at Ye Xiao and remembered my confusion from a few days ago.
In my mind, I replaced Ye Tan with Ye Xiao and rehearsed our daily interactions. I imagined Ye Xiao holding me as we woke and slept together; I imagined telling Ye Xiao that I wanted to dismiss everyone else and travel only with him; I imagined Ye Xiao pressing a tender kiss to my brow and saying softly, "Wow, Boss, you are everything I seek in this life, hahahaha."
I was instantly struck with horror, and goosebumps broke out all over my body.
Ye Xiao noticed me shudder and asked, "Wow, Boss, what’s wrong? You’re shaking like a sieve, hahahaha."
Me: "Shut up."
They were both shadow guards, so why was the difference so vast?
Ah Tan.
Just what is it about you that is so different from everyone else?
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 咸鱼 | Salted fish | Slang for someone with no ambition or drive. |
| 夜宵 | Ye Xiao | A shadow guard; his name means "midnight snack." |
| 夜阑 | Ye Lan | A shadow guard; his name means "late night." |
| 钟离子息 | Zhongli Zixi | The Second Young Master of Zhongli Manor. |
| 夜刹 | Ye Sha | A shadow guard previously mentioned (sacrificed by Zhongli Zixi). |
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