Life continued in its quiet, leisurely fashion. Every day, after helping Qiqi tend to the garlic sprouts and green onions, I found myself with absolutely nothing to do. Qiqi couldn't stand the sight of our idleness and ordered us to build a trellis to plant some grapes.
With Ye Tan gone, the tutor refused to come anymore. I continued to use my own ugly handwriting to teach Ye Lan how to write his name.
Before, it hadn't mattered much, but now that Ye Tan was missing, life felt so bland it was starting to grate on me.
Qiqi looked at the three of us—lying like "salted fish" on the rattan chairs in the courtyard—with a look of exasperated disappointment. "Grown men with no ambition whatsoever," she huffed. "What has the world come to?"
At that moment, Ye Lan was dozing off next to Ye Xiao. Ye Xiao was munching on a roasted sweet potato like a hamster, crumbs falling all over his clothes. I had just received a letter from Yang Qingzhou—ever since he headed north for the war, he had maintained a frequency of one letter every ten days or so, detailing the current state of the conflict.
According to the letter, Zhongli Court’s Jinguan Pavilion had been captured. The blood of the fallen had stained the withered peonies, making them look even more vivid than when they were in full bloom. Zonglian’s Renzong Temple had also been razed to the ground; Zhongli Yuan had burned all the stored archives, and the prisoners of war had been buried alive. The Zongheng alliance had joined forces to besiege Changluo Studio, and after a half-month deadlock, they finally burned it to ashes... Reading this while lazily sipping red date and Job’s tears soup in the warm winter sun, I felt no sense of reality at all.
I folded the letter back into its original shape and sighed. "To be able to waste time like this is a blessing in itself."
Looking around the quiet, sparsely populated courtyard, I asked, "Ye Xiao, how many people are still tailing us nearby?"
Ye Xiao counted while he chewed. "Boss, I can only sense three now."
The number of secret guards tracking us had dropped sharply recently. It seemed the war was indeed fierce, and they could no longer spare the manpower.
The Second Young Master’s influence was waning; it seemed there wouldn't be much of a role for me to play after all. Once he truly met his downfall, I’d take Ye Tan along to mock him and add a few final blows—that should pretty much wrap up this drama.
When all this is over...
I toyed with the small dagger that had been broken twice and mended poorly, making it look even lower in quality. I remembered Ye Tan saying: *Once I have a woman I like, doing ordinary things with her will make me happier than anyone else.* After all this time, I had thought it over again and again, and I felt that no one was better than Ye Tan.
So, I asked, "Ye Xiao. If you had to choose someone to spend the rest of your life with, how would you choose?"
Ye Xiao held his sweet potato. "Qiqi is pretty good."
Me: "???"
Ye Xiao explained, "Qiqi’s cooking is delicious! Following her means there’s always meat to eat. Boss, think about Qiqi’s sweet and sour ribs—you definitely can’t find anything like that outside."
...That sounded very logical. I was convinced.
"So you're saying, even if there was no one else around and you had to spend your life with only Qiqi, you'd be willing?"
Ye Xiao swallowed, then said with some hesitation, "That wouldn't work either. Without me, what would Ye Lan do?"
As he spoke, he habitually glanced at Ye Lan. Having just heard his name, Ye Lan was also looking at him with open eyes. There were quite a few sweet potato crumbs stuck to the corners of Ye Xiao's mouth. Ye Lan watched him blankly for a moment, then clumsily reached out to wipe them off, putting them into his own mouth to chew.
"That’s the skin! You can't eat that, spit it out," Ye Xiao said, patting his cheek.
Hearing this, Ye Lan spat it into Ye Xiao's palm. Ye Xiao then stuffed a piece of the actual sweet potato into his mouth. "Try this instead."
Ye Lan swallowed it whole, skin and all.
"...Good grief, you moron. Forget it, forget it, spit it out and I'll peel it for you." Ye Xiao exasperatedly pried open his jaw to dump out the unpeeled potato, then carefully removed the skin and stuffed a small piece of the flesh into his mouth.
Watching the two of them, I felt inexplicably good. I asked again, "If you absolutely had to choose between Qiqi and Ye Lan, who would you pick?"
Ye Xiao looked troubled and muttered, "They don't conflict with each other. Boss, why do you have to give me such a hard time..."
"So sweet." Ye Lan suddenly interjected out of nowhere after eating. "I choose Guimao." He paused, then corrected himself, "No, I choose Ye Xiao."
"Who... who asked you to butt in!" Ye Xiao’s face suddenly turned red. "Do you even know what you're saying!"
Ye Lan propped himself up halfway from the rattan chair, looking down at Ye Xiao. "I like Ye Xiao. I want to be together... I don't want anyone else. I just want you."
Ye Xiao stammered, "You... you don't understand what that sentence means at all, so don't just say it!"
Hearing this, Ye Lan lowered his head and murmured, "Oh... is that so? Then I'll think about it some more."
I couldn't help but cut in. "How do you know he doesn't understand?"
Ye Xiao spat, "He can't even get my name right, yet he has the gall to say he likes me. Only a fool would believe him."
Ye Lan spoke up to defend him. "Gui... Ye Xiao is smarter than me. If he says I don't understand, then I definitely don't understand."
...I was stunned.
The friendship between simpletons.
It was truly a sight to behold.
I flicked Ye Xiao on the forehead. "Aren't you just taking advantage of his simplicity to bully him?"
Ye Xiao said aggrievedly, "I am not!"
I said with mock sorrow, "Look how sad he is because of what you said. Aren't you going to comfort him?"
Ye Lan had already sat up straight, his head tilted as if lost in thought, likely trying to deduce what had gone wrong just now. Even from a distance, I could practically see his ears and tail drooping like a dejected dog.
Ye Xiao reluctantly knelt half-way in front of him and said with great heartache, "Ye Lan, it's my fault. I'll share some sweet potato with you..."
Ye Lan looked down for a moment, then took Ye Xiao's chin and kissed him. He licked the sweet potato crumbs from the corner of his mouth and then pried his mouth open to push inside. Finally, he pulled back and licked his lips with satisfaction. "You are sweeter."
Ye Xiao froze for a long time before finally reacting. He pushed him away and wiped his mouth, flying into a rage. "The Boss is still watching! What the hell are you doing?!"
Ye Lan looked lost and confused. I asked modestly, "Is there something wrong? It’s quite nice. Ye Lan looks very happy. Please, continue."
After saying that, I watched them with sparkling eyes.
"...Boss, are you sick in the head?! When you and the Leader were... I never peeked at you two!!" Ye Xiao shouted as he jumped away, looking like he wanted to cry. Ye Lan’s eyes lit up upon hearing this, and he said joyfully, "Boss says we can continue... Um, how do we continue?"
I was puzzled. "Why bring up Ye Tan? He's not even here..." I suddenly felt a wave of loneliness and sighed. "You have no idea how much I envy you two. While you have each other by your side, cherish it well."
Ye Lan stood up to grab him, but Ye Xiao retreated in terror. "Don't move!! You... cough, you go inside and wait for me. I'll be there in a bit."
Ye Xiao quietly watched the bewildered Ye Lan enter the room and close the door. Then he turned back to look at me seriously, straightened his robes, and knelt to give me a respectful kowtow. "Master."
I was quite flattered and surprised. "...Why so formal all of a sudden? I'm not used to this."
Ye Xiao said solemnly, "This subordinate wishes to ask you to bestow Ye Lan to me."
I didn't quite understand. I tried to guess—did Ye Xiao want Ye Lan to be *his* shadow guard? Was that it?
"Originally, as shadow guards, we should never have private feelings. But after following you for a while, I’ve come to know your character, and I couldn't help but harbor this extravagant hope..." Ye Xiao remained kneeling, his forehead touching the ground. "Back in the Night Walkers, I never thought both of us would make it out alive, let alone be chosen by such an open-minded master at the same time. I didn't dare hope for such luck, but if there is even a one-in-ten-thousand chance... I want to strive for it no matter what. We will never neglect our duties because of this, and the Master will always come first in everything."
Ye Xiao looked up, emphasizing every word. "I like Ye Lan. I beg for the Master's permission."
Me: "Oh."
Ye Xiao: "...Does that mean you permit it?"
I said blankly, "Why do you need my permission for something like this... You two can do whatever you want. What does it have to do with me?"
Ye Xiao froze for a moment, then suddenly lunged forward, hugged my leg, and began to wail. "Boss, why are you so good?! Waaaaah!"
I pushed the snot-covered Ye Xiao away in disgust. "I'm not that great. Honestly, I think I'm a pretty ordinary person... Stop crying, you're acting crazy..."
Ye Xiao, having been peeled off me, squatted on the rattan chair and wiped his face. "Sigh, I can't figure it out. How can the two of us be so lucky? But then again, the Leader’s luck is also especially good. Qiqi’s luck is good too. All of this..."
Ye Xiao suddenly lowered his voice and said seriously, "All of this is because we met you."
I was quite embarrassed by his praise. "It's... it's not that great."
Ye Xiao shook his head. "The Leader was covered in infamy and had his martial arts destroyed. At most, he would have lingered on for three to five years before being humiliated to death. Ye Lan can't react to a master's orders quickly enough; he was bound to make a mistake. He was never a qualified shadow guard to begin with. No matter which master he ended up with, he wouldn't have survived three days. A defenseless girl like Qiqi goes without saying... As for me, the best I could hope for as a shadow guard was to hide in the darkness anonymously—no reward for merit, only punishment for faults—waiting day after day to die."
His tone shifted, becoming cheerful. "But Boss, since following you, a single day has been more interesting than the past ten years combined."
I realized belatedly that if I were removed as a variable, the fate of everyone in this martial world would be incredibly heavy.
I hadn't even noticed I had been living in such a gloomy environment.
Ye Xiao stood up and took a deep breath. "Well then, I'll go back and tell Ye Lan."
Then he repeatedly warned me not to enter the room and not to use my internal energy to eavesdrop. I obediently agreed, and only then did Ye Xiao return to his room.
The two of them muttered and argued about something I couldn't quite catch. Finally, I heard Ye Xiao say, "Fine, I'll teach you." Then, there was silence.
I rocked in the rattan chair in the courtyard and gradually fell asleep. Suddenly, I was jolted awake by a scream. It sounded like Ye Xiao, incredibly shrill and intermittent, as if he were enduring some form of torture.
I rushed to the door and pushed against it, asking urgently, "What's wrong?! What happened?!"
Inside, Ye Xiao said with a sobbing voice, "Boss, don't come in!! Don't look at me!! And stop anyone else from... ugh..."
I stood at the door and sensed the room. There were indeed only the two of them inside, no outsiders. I felt relieved. "Do you need help?"
"You... you staying far away... is the biggest help you can give..." Ye Xiao finished tremulously, then could no longer suppress the pain and began to cry hoarsely.
I was a bit bewildered, but then I thought, with Ye Lan in the room, he wouldn't let anyone bully Ye Xiao. Qiqi, Ah-Heng, and Ah-Shu were also startled by the screams and ran into the courtyard to ask what was happening. Bearing a heavy responsibility, I naturally did not fail my trust; I took the confused Qiqi and the others out for a boat ride on the lake.
When we returned in the evening, I saw the rare sight of Ye Lan washing things in the courtyard. As I approached, I realized the basin was full of bloody water.
Startled, I quickly asked what had happened.
Ye Lan said guiltily, "It's my fault. I accidentally hurt him..."
I nodded understandingly. It was common for martial artists to get hurt while practicing. Ye Lan’s movements were much faster than his brain’s reaction time; he must have failed to pull his punches and accidentally injured Ye Xiao during their spar.
I comforted him, "Ye Xiao is tough and can take a beating. Don't worry, he'll be fine."
Ye Lan asked, "Really?"
I continued, "You don't need to worry too much. Next time, just do what you need to do. There's no need to hold back specially."
Ye Lan nodded repeatedly. "I understand. Thank you, Boss."
I sent Physician Lu to check on Ye Xiao, but he was snapped at and kicked out. Physician Lu handed some mysterious medicine to Ye Lan with an awkward expression, coughed, and vanished.
Heh, what a tsundere. During the day he said he didn't know whether to choose Qiqi or Ye Lan, but now he won't see anyone but Ye Lan.
Having seen through everything, I stroked my chin and clicked my tongue at him.
From then on, I didn't know what Ye Xiao and Ye Lan were up to, but I often heard Ye Xiao wailing and screaming in the middle of the night, and then he wouldn't be able to get out of bed for several days.
However, Ye Lan had been looking radiant lately, and his reactions had become much faster. I figured it wasn't a bad thing and felt quite gratified.
As for Ye Xiao, there was nothing to worry about. He was probably just oversleeping and being lazy—it seemed exactly like something he would do.
One day, while I was lounging in the courtyard as usual soaking up the sun, Ye Xiao held his waist and complained to Ye Lan, "Dammit, every time I tell you to be gentler, be gentler, can't you fucking remember?"
Ye Lan argued softly, "But the Boss said I should just do what I usually do."
Ye Xiao looked at me in horror. "Boss, what kind of foul, messy things have you been teaching him?!"
I said innocently, "Since you're sparring, how can you improve if you're not serious? You have to give your all when practicing martial arts."
Ye Xiao opened his mouth but said nothing.
After feeling stifled for a long while, he ultimately couldn't swallow his anger. He turned his head and cursed indignantly, "You remember the Boss's words! But you can't remember mine?! Dammit!"
Ye Lan: "I tried my best to memorize them."
Ye Xiao: "Then tell me, what did I say yesterday!"
Ye Lan thought seriously for a moment. "Um, what you said yesterday was... 'It hurts,' 'Move over a bit,' 'You're pressing on my hair,' 'Dammit, slow down,' 'It's too deep, get out,' and..."
Ye Xiao: "Holy shit, shut the fuck up!!!"
"Oh right, there was also 'Shut the fuck up,'" Ye Lan pursed his lips and said guiltily. "I only remember those. There were too many; I couldn't memorize the rest. The Boss says very little to me, so I remember all of it."
Ye Xiao pinched Ye Lan's mouth into a circle. "Enough! Don't say another word, you're going to be the death of me!"
***
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Fatal to Pretend With a Cheat | Chapter 51 | Simple Joys and Misunderstandings | Novela.app | Novela.app
