Jun Xuanheng confirmed to himself that he was in love with Ye Tan.
It had been a long and even somewhat complicated process. He considered his understanding of all things to be lacking, and he often blundered and ruined matters with his own hands. Because this particular matter concerned Ye Tan, he was even less willing to allow for any mistakes. Once he discovered that Ye Tan treated him with a hint of something special, they shared several heart-to-heart talks. Later, he flipped through every book of love poems, erotic songs, and verses of yearning he could find, reading them to Ye Tan line by line.
"I think there’s no doubt about it; I fit all of these descriptions," Jun Xuanheng concluded earnestly, closing a volume filled with the fragrant colors of spring. "I am willing to do every joyful thing lovers do in this world with A-Tan. Every feeling of yearning and admiration described here, I have felt for A-Tan."
Ye Tan had been forced to sit and listen to these sweet words for several days. His face was so red it looked ready to drip blood. Kneeling opposite his master, he clenched his fists tightly, appearing more stiff and restrained than ever.
Jun Xuanheng had always kept in mind the unfinished dying wish Qin Qi had for Yun Bizhi. The Night Brake had pondered it for a long time before completing the sentence himself: *It is only a pity that I cannot spend the rest of this life with Master Yun.*
His expression turned solemn as he said softly, "If I am fortunate... I hope to spend the rest of my life with A-Tan."
Ye Tan finally lost his composure. Still in his kneeling position, he keeled forward and slammed his forehead onto the small table in front of him with a loud *thud*.
Startled, Jun Xuanheng reached out to help him. Without changing his posture, Ye Tan thrust out a hand and waved it frantically in refusal. "Don't!! Don't mind me!! Please... please step back a little."
Jun Xuanheng had always been easygoing; hearing this, he obediently withdrew his hand and moved back, though his gaze remained fixed on Ye Tan with concern.
Ye Tan remained hunched over against the table, his shoulders shaking violently. After trembling for a while, he gradually slid from the table onto the daybed, where he proceeded to roll around a few times.
Jun Xuanheng watched him with uncertainty and alarm. Suddenly, Ye Tan scrambled up and returned to a proper kneeling position. He smoothed his disheveled hair at his temples before offering a polite apology: "My expression just now was too rude. I feared I might offend Master. Please do not take it to heart."
Jun Xuanheng was naturally gifted at being understanding. "It is no matter."
Once Ye Tan calmed down, he began to contemplate the things his master had said. After sorting through his thoughts for a long while, he asked, "Master, do you... intend to consummate our relationship?"
Jun Xuanheng nodded. "It seems that is what people do."
Ye Tan thought for a moment, looking slightly apologetic. "This subordinate does not know much about such matters. I may need some time to prepare."
Jun Xuanheng said happily, "Then I shall leave it to you."
He thought to himself: *As expected of my A-Tan. He is just as serious and reliable as I am.*
The "reliable" Ye Tan immediately set off on horseback to seek guidance from the Eldest Young Master, who was rumored to have handled countless people.
Zhongli Zixu, who was currently idling like a salted fish, was lounging on a swing by the gate. Suddenly, he saw one of the dashing swordsmen from his dreams galloping toward him. The man held the reins, looking down at him with a cold, haughty gaze.
"Eldest Young Master," Ye Tan said proudly, "please teach me how to consummate a relationship."
Phrases like "a sheep entering the tiger's den" and "a meat pie falling from the sky" swirled through the Eldest Young Master's mind. He hurriedly grabbed this "duck" that had delivered itself to his door and pulled him into his room, all while mentally filtering which sweet words would work best on this fellow.
Ye Tan sat down on the bed with a stern expression. "Please begin."
"...We're... we're just going to do it directly...?" The Eldest Young Master was intimidated by his aura and actually felt like shrinking back.
"What else?" Ye Tan asked in return.
"Of course we have to flirt first! Naturally, we must have a pleasant conversation. Only when your spring desires are stirred is the timing right..."
"What do I have to talk about with you that would be pleasant?" Ye Tan asked, frowning.
"..." *Though you have a point...*
"And what do you mean by 'timing'?" Ye Tan approached this matter with twelve-tenths of his focus, refusing to let any doubt slide.
"...There's no way to explain it. When the time comes, it just comes. True feelings flow, the water forms a channel, the wood is already a boat, the raw rice is cooked into porridge!" The Eldest Young Master was so frustrated he was speaking in nonsensical idioms.
Ye Tan didn't quite understand, so he simply memorized the terms one by one, planning to sort them out later. He said, "Continue."
By now, the Eldest Young Master was starting to lose interest, but then he reconsidered. *What kind of person am I? My lifelong reputation cannot be ruined in a single day. If I'm going to do it, I'll do it. Who's afraid of whom?*
He cleared his throat and stood close to Ye Tan. He pressed a finger against Ye Tan's Adam's apple, sliding it down inch by inch, hooking the collar of his robe and gently pulling it down. Ye Tan quickly realized what was happening and asked, "I need to take off my clothes?"
The Eldest Young Master replied, "Of course..."
Before he could finish, Ye Tan stepped back. In the blink of an eye, he undid his belt and stripped off his upper garment. Bare-chested, he said sternly once more, "It is done. What is the next step?"
Eldest Young Master: "...You undress too fast."
Ye Tan: "You flatter me. It is not as fast as my sword."
Eldest Young Master: "...I wasn't praising you."
Ye Tan looked bewildered.
The Eldest Young Master pressed a hand to his forehead. "Undressing is a matter of great finesse and mood. You are truly... devoid of any romantic sentiment."
Ye Tan looked as if he had reached an epiphany. He moved with lightning speed to put his clothes back on and said, "Let us try again."
*Eldest Young Master's desire to retreat: x2.*
Zhongli Zixu forced himself to rally his spirits and started from the beginning again. He had always been extremely particular about foreplay, and this time went relatively smoothly—so much so that he suddenly felt this might actually be a decent experience...
Just as this thought occurred, his hand, which was hovering over Ye Tan's lower abdomen, moved to go lower, only to be abruptly seized in a vice-like grip.
Ye Tan had let him touch him for a long while without feeling even a shred of arousal. He said calmly, "If you continue like this, won't it become me consummating a relationship with *you*?"
Zhongli Zixu: "What else would it be???"
"Demonstrate it on yourself," Ye Tan said.
The Eldest Young Master was shocked. "You... you want to watch me... self... that??"
Ye Tan nodded with a sense of justice that was peerless in the universe.
The Eldest Young Master felt incredibly wronged. "You pervert, *waaaah*!"
"You are unwilling," Ye Tan observed.
"Of course! I obviously don't like being watched! If you want to watch, go watch someone else!!" Zhongli Zixu felt he had never suffered such a humiliating disgrace in his entire life; his grief was hard to soothe.
"Reasonable." Ye Tan agreed deeply. He grabbed the Eldest Young Master by his belt, hoisted him up, gathered his qi, and leaped out of the courtyard to toss him onto a horse.
Eldest Young Master: "Aaaah! Where are you taking me!!"
Ye Tan: "To watch others consummate their relationship."
Under the Eldest Young Master's guidance, Ye Tan found the largest "Southern Wind Pavilion" in the vicinity.
The Eldest Young Master was naturally a regular here. As soon as the Madam saw him, she clung to him attentively, asking what kind of young man the master wanted today.
The Eldest Young Master had a bitterness he couldn't voice and didn't dare make a sound.
Ye Tan said frankly, "I want the ones with the best technique."
The Madam: "Wow, in all my years in this business, this is the first time I've met someone as straightforward as you."
Ye Tan: "I want two."
The Madam: "Certainly. You know how to play."
Ye Tan felt that the owner here was very easy to communicate with and worked efficiently. It was a good place.
He dropped the Eldest Young Master on the floor and sat upright on a stool before the daybed, clutching his sword. To the two fair-skinned, red-lipped youths the Madam had sent in, he said, "You two. Get up there and do it."
One of the youths, who had an almond-shaped eye with a tear-drop mole, said in shock, "Your... your tastes... are truly rare."
The Eldest Young Master was so embarrassed he wanted to find a crack in the floor to crawl into.
Ye Tan: "Hurry."
The youths climbed onto the bed tremulously and looked at each other. Neither had experienced this before, and with someone nearby watching them with a gaze as sharp as a torch, they were even more at a loss.
After the stalemate lasted for a long time, Ye Tan grew slightly angry. He tapped his knuckle against his scabbard and said in a low voice, "I do not have much patience."
He hadn't seen his master for eight hours. Every moment of delay was agony. He only wanted to figure these things out quickly so he could return early.
Terrified by his dark, murderous aura, the two youths instantly huddled together and burst into uncontrollable sobs, begging Ye Tan not to kill them.
Ye Tan never knew how to coax people, so he sat motionless, clutching his sword and watching coldly, waiting for them to calm down on their own. Unexpectedly, they only cried harder. He had no choice but to turn to the Eldest Young Master for help. Zhongli Zixu sighed, stepped forward, and easily calmed them down with a few words.
"Forget it. Since you are unwilling, you should have just said so." Ye Tan felt that everyone in this world, except for his own master, was difficult to communicate with, so he didn't struggle further. "I will ask you a few questions. Just answer me honestly."
The two youths, buried in the Eldest Young Master's left and right arms, nodded cautiously.
Ye Tan asked about everything in exhaustive detail—how to please someone else, how to determine the "top" and "bottom" roles, the pros and cons of various positions, and especially how to handle aftercare and recovery. His questions were incredibly thorough.
Among them, Ye Tan asked if they themselves felt any pleasure doing these things. The youth with the tear-drop mole smiled bitterly. "Naturally, whoever is being served is the one who is more comfortable. We are the ones serving people; what pleasure is there to speak of for us?"
After hearing this, Ye Tan murmured to himself, "Then I must naturally make him more comfortable."
The youth was quick-witted and asked, "Great Hero, did you ask us all this just so you could serve one person?"
Upon hearing this mentioned, Ye Tan couldn't help but let out a faint smile—one that looked like snow melting in the sun or a gentle spring rain. "Yes."
The youth with the tear-drop mole had been cursing him in his heart as a cold-blooded, heartless viper, but catching this smile unexpectedly left him dazed. He said dreamily, "...That person is truly to be envied."
Ye Tan agreed deeply. "I envy myself as well."
***
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Fatal to Pretend With a Cheat | Chapter 71 | Lessons in Intimacy | Novela.app | Novela.app
