The two of them walked along the walls of the temple’s second floor, brushing past many curious tourists. At regular intervals, faint light spilled through the grand windows, occasionally casting the slow-moving shadows of passing marine creatures upon them. Each time they passed these stone-framed apertures, Fanli could see the clusters of pristine white buildings outside flashing by like a revolving lantern.
They swam around the massive temple, circling it many times as they talked. By the end, Fanli realized she couldn't remember exactly how much they had discussed; it was all talk of the past, calm as still water. Instead, what she remembered were the sights she saw while swimming beside him: the new marine snow vessel station, the drifting sea folk, the circling sperm whales, the residential districts composed of islands outside the window, and the golden light of Saint Yegana soaking through the shimmering surface above.
Finally, as they were about to part ways, she heard a truth from Ye Jia—one she had once suspected, once craved, and ultimately chosen to flee from.
"I don't believe it." Even now, she was unwilling to admit it, shaking her head incessantly. "Impossible. His 'Dream Agate' project was aimed at summoning Deep Blue back... I am certain it had nothing to do with me. Besides, it’s impossible for Su Shiye to come back to life. Telling me now that he died for me serves no purpose other than to cause me pain. Knowing you, you wouldn't do something like that."
"It’s the truth. At our last group gathering, Yu Jin got drunk. He started pouring his heart out in my arms like a weeping girl, letting everything slip." Ye Jia relayed every word Yu Jin had said that night to Fanli, leaving nothing out.
"Why are you telling me this?" To keep herself from sounding too broken, Fanli suppressed her emotions, attempting to speak rationally. "What do you gain from this?"
"Because you aren't happy."
"Nonsense. I’ve simply gained everything all at once and have nothing left to desire, so I appear idle."
"No. No one is ever satisfied by 'having everything.' The pursuit of wealth and power is like drinking poison to quench thirst; the more you have, the more you want. You, however, are living like the walking dead precisely because you have lost everything—you have lost desire."
"Lost everything?" Fanli laughed, though her heart stung as if pierced by steel needles. "Since when did Su Shiye become my everything? I abandoned him so many times for the sake of my career. Is this your first day knowing me?"
"That’s because you knew Su Shiye loved you. No matter how much he played around, how much he courted death, or how much he tried to provoke you, his heart held only you. That never changed for a single second. You knew that as long as he was alive, there was hope. I suspect that even if he stopped loving you, you would be in pain, but you would wish him well and wouldn't be living like this. You’re the type of woman who gets fixated; once you’ve decided on someone, you don't even consider changing your mind, even if he’s dead. Since you’ve already decided to run yourself into a wall, what difference does it make if you know the truth?"
"I am very rational. I’m not as sentimental as you think. You give me too much credit."
"Then that’s even better. You love life so much, so Su Shiye didn't sacrifice himself in vain. Little Yu Jin has worked hard keeping this secret for so many years; I’ve set them both free. It’s just that the thing Su Shiye left for you might not be of any use now, but I think you should keep it as a memento."
"What thing?"
Ye Jia took Fanli back to Phili Town, deep into the undersea forest, and recited a secret incantation. Surrounded by a swarm of bioluminescent jellyfish, an archway shimmering with blue light appeared.
"This is..." Fanli was mesmerized by the fantastical sight before her.
"This is the Gate of Ether, created by Su Shiye with the last of his strength. It condensed a portion of the Lord of Ether’s incorporeal power into the physical world. Anyone who enters this gate can choose to return to a past time and space."
The universe possesses a diversity of forms. That is to say, beyond the universe each person inhabits, there are infinite independent universes. In these parallel independent universes, every person has a different fate. A space-time traveler can freely enter different universes; as long as they are alive in that universe, they can merge with their other self. However, because the parallel universes of the macro-world are almost entirely perpendicular to one another, there is no memory transfer. The traveler’s original self will be consumed.
Fanli did not feel overjoyed by this. Because the Lord of the Endless Ocean and the Lord of Ether were multiversal deities, their lives and deaths—like those of the Creator—were overlapped across multiple universes. No matter which universe she went to, Su Shiye, as the divine consciousness of the Lord of Ether, would ultimately end his life at the same point in time. Deep Blue would always develop the selfish desire that was Sui, and Fanli’s birth was an inevitability; only the stories that happened in between might differ. Therefore, if she chose to merge with herself in another parallel universe, she would merely be reliving the tragedy of being unable to stay with Su Shiye all over again, and she would lose her memories of this universe. Doing so was no different from committing suicide in this world; it seemed unnecessary.
That day, Fanli returned to her old home in Phili Town. She cleaned the living room, which was now overgrown with microorganisms, and shooed away a sea turtle resting on the sofa. Childhood memories of her brother flooded her mind, distant yet feeling as if they happened yesterday. They had grown up together and trusted each other so much; how could he have changed so suddenly? Recalling Su Shiye’s attitude before their parting at the iceberg, she guessed he must have been more heartbroken than anyone. Her heart ached for him; she wanted to go back to the past and hug him as he was then, but there was no chance.
Su Shiye had indeed merged with the Lord of Ether, but even with the memories of the Lord of Ether, the one he loved was her.
It was wonderful. She truly possessed the best, purest love in the world.
From the very dawn of life until now, he had only ever loved her, and she had only ever loved him. No one else, no forgetting, no regrets.
She had never missed him more than she did now.
After only one night, Fanli changed her mind.
She didn't know if Su Shiye would exist in another world, but she knew he wasn't in this one. Thus, she felt that taking a risk to find him might not be so bad.
At dawn, Fanli went into the undersea forest and entered the Gate of Ether. The world turned black, and she was surrounded by countless translucent, miniature celestial bodies. Their surfaces rolled with light, lightning, starlight, and flames, floating about like ghosts and passing through one another—this was what the Lord of Ether’s power looked like when materialized. At this point of overlap between time and space, memories from countless multiverses rushed into her mind like those celestial bodies, leaving her stunned. It turned out that the "her" currently in the Gate of Ether was truly just one of many versions of herself from parallel universes. This wasn't the first time she had chosen to travel back and forth between universes. Though she had no memories, the sense of déjà vu told her she had made the same choice before.
In these universes, every bizarre and unimaginable story had occurred, yet the one constant was that she always loved Su Shiye and always made the same choice in the end.
Only by changing the overlapping history of the multiverses could she prevent Deep Blue’s punishment of Sui and the death of the Lord of Ether, allowing Su Shiye to live. No one could go back with their memories intact. To go to a parallel universe, one's memory would inevitably be consumed.
She sat before the Gate of Ether in a daze for many days, suddenly recalling a microscopic detail from a projection: in one of her experiments, subatomic particles had scattered wildly, refusing to follow the rules, which had caused her great frustration in her research. This was a mystery she had never solved in her life, and it was the reason Sui’s corpuscular theory had been attacked by the arcane community. Then she remembered that in experiments with fewer particles, this chaotic irregularity became more pronounced. She drew a number line and discovered that the closer one was to the axis, the higher the probability that two parallel universes would not be perpendicular, but would overlap. Those few stray particles were being influenced by the same particle in a parallel universe.
In the macro-world, because the axis is infinitely long, only occasionally do certain time nodes fail to be perpendicular, creating projections that influence each other—this results in a feeling of familiarity. This is Déjà vu. It is why people often ask those around them if something has happened before. It is because in another parallel universe, that memory exists.
To allow oneself as much multiversal memory as possible, one had to become as small as possible. For example, becoming a microorganism—and so, Ye Jia’s "boring" arcane art finally found its use.
By separating her consciousness as much as possible and attaching it to cyanobacteria, she could increase the frequency of "particle scattering" and strengthen the memory overlap rate of her various selves across the multiverses. However, these consciousnesses, smaller than a nanometer, might have to wait tens of millions of years just to brush past Su Shiye a few times. Furthermore, possessing the cognitive ability of a high-intelligence being while being cramped into a tiny space without a corresponding body or mobility would likely be more painful than being in a vegetative state. Faced with death or such a life, most people would choose death. Was she really going to do this to the versions of herself in different forms?
Yet, thinking of such a desperate thing, she felt more anticipation than fear. Because the "her" within those particles could see Su Shiye again, carrying all her memories.
Su Shiye had spent his life migrating across the ocean. The place he lived the longest was Baman Boya, followed by Saint Yegana. Cyanobacteria cannot survive in the deep sea, so the best choice was Saint Yegana. Although the algae would likely drift with the currents, choosing this as a starting point was the right move.
That day, Fanli stood for a long time before the clusters of cyanobacteria at the gates of the White Eagle Palace. She knew she loved life, loved existence, and loved this world. She was strong; even if she were cast into fire or put through hellish setbacks, she would never harbor a thought of ending her life. However, only when Su Shiye was in this world did she truly feel she was vibrantly alive.
Fanli cast Ye Jia’s arcane spell and transferred a massive portion of her consciousness into the cyanobacteria.
Of course, as always, no matter how much she transferred, nothing appeared to happen. But countless versions of "her" entered the Ether, and then entered the cyanobacteria.
The world spun in a chaotic blur; the "her" within the particles lost the ability to move.
*My God, where do you bide?*
*I suffer the ache of sweetness, the toll of memory's tide.*
*Wandering, the world is but sea and astral light;*
*Lingering, leaving only dreams and shadows of the night.*
*My God, where do you bide?*
*When the sperm whale sinks, the marine snow dances light.*
*Schools of fish are like whiskers, pale and thin,*
*In an instant, blurring the dusk where blood has been.*
*My God, the years grow old; in the Endless City's gleam,*
*Does a Flame Demon beauty dance for you with a rainbow dream?*
*Time is a ghost-light, washing all sins away at last,*
*Yet none tell how to endure the night when longing is cast.*
*My God, loving you was a beauty beyond compare.*
*But if it never was, if memory's snowy grief wasn't there,*
*I would rather never have known such a dream's grace,*
*Where your snow-white hair drifts in the deep sea's embrace.*
Fanli returned to 430 million years ago, the era when her life was first conceived.
Her consciousness had no eyes, yet her perception was like a ghost, flooding into the negligible space around the cyanobacteria. The White Eagle Palace of 430 million years later was now just a set of steps crudely piled from jagged rocks. At this time, the script of the sea folk had only just been born. Many abandoned stone tablets lay on the steps, inscribed with inconsistent scriptures carved by the sea folk inhabitants over the past millennium.
The cyanobacteria to which Fanli’s consciousness was attached lived upon one of those stone tablets.
The global waters were cold. Saint Yegana was still a young, rough new city, its area far smaller than the version preserved in the memories of the People of the Radiant Era. The Lord of Ether had sealed himself within the Temple of Memories. The sea folk prayed daily for his and Deep Blue’s passing, worshiping beneath the First Temple, which would be destroyed by war twenty-four million years later.
A consciousness cannot shed tears, but Fanli knew that if she had tear ducts, she would be weeping with joy.
Because in this world, he was alive.
As a tiny particle, she began to vibrate at a high frequency, attempting to change the historical trajectory of the microscopic world invisible to the naked eye.
However, after the first day, Fanli felt terrible. Because the number of sea folk at this time was very small, she saw few of them besides ancient marine creatures, and she didn't hear a single conversation.
Anyone would go mad if they did nothing but sit by a window and look out. Yet, this was only the beginning.
The turning of spring, summer, autumn, and winter, and the movement of the sun, moon, and stars, had never been so slow.
Too slow. The future was too long. Thinking of the endless future, Fanli was in such agony she wanted to end it, yet she didn't even have a way to commit suicide.
Thus, every time she felt pain, she would tell herself that Su Shiye was in this very ocean. She would remember his final look back at her from behind the iceberg. Compared to losing him forever, what did this boredom and loneliness matter?
Just wait a little longer, just a little longer, and he will appear...
The life cycle of cyanobacteria is only one month. After it died, Fanli’s consciousness transferred to its offspring. Then, she continued to vibrate with all her might within the smallest unit of space, breaking the shackles of her original trajectory several times. In this microscopic world, it felt as if she had leaped ten thousand light-years, but in the macro-world, even if her path were drawn as a line, it would be too short for the naked eye to see.
Through the unending cycle of reproduction, Fanli watched the city before her change day by day. Along with the cyanobacteria, she welcomed the sunrise and sunset, the ebb and flow of the tides, performing photosynthesis and releasing oxygen, preparing for the birth of all aerobic organisms, and witnessing the evolution of marine life. Sometimes, the cyanobacteria would be eaten by sea urchins or sea hares; Fanli’s consciousness would naturally attach itself to the parts that remained uneaten.
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
:--- | :--- | :---
梦幻玛瑙 | Dream Agate | A specific plan or project mentioned in the story.
以太之门 | Gate of Ether | A portal created by Su Shiye using the Lord of Ether's power.
多宙神 | Multiversal Deity | Beings that exist across multiple parallel universes simultaneously.
微子 | Micro-particle / Corpuscle | Used here to refer to subatomic or microscopic particles in a pseudo-scientific context.
蓝藻 | Cyanobacteria / Blue-green algae | The organism Fanli attaches her consciousness to.
耀光时代 | Radiant Era | A historical period in the novel's setting.
第一圣殿 | First Temple | An ancient religious structure in Saint Yegana.
既视感 | Déjà vu | The feeling of having already experienced a present situation.
