Before the man and the corpse could even begin their return journey after delivering the funeral procession, news arrived from Mount Cuiwei. The eldest disciple, Fan Shaojing, had been ambushed on the road and remained unconscious. The old man had ordered Fan Shaohuang to return to Mount Cuiwei immediately.
Fan Shaohuang’s face was already as dark as thunder. That hypocrite, Fan Shaojing, hadn't run into trouble sooner or later, but just happened to meet with an "accident" two or three days after their encounter. If he had actually died, that would be one thing, but he just had to be "unconscious." It was over; now, even jumping into the Yellow River wouldn't wash away the suspicion.
With a grim expression, he hurried back to Mount Cuiwei with the green-eyed zombie. *That prayer mat under the Ancestor’s tablet... here I come...*
However, upon his return, he realized the situation was far more complicated than he had imagined. It was true that Fan Shaojing was heavily injured and unconscious, but what truly enraged the old man was something else—the majority of Shaojing's essence had been drained away.
The old man was convinced that with Fan Shaojing’s level of cultivation, only someone with Fan Shaohuang’s skills could have harmed him. Yet, Fan Shaohuang could not tell him that Shaojing had actually been injured by his own magic while attempting to subdue a demon.
An injured Shaojing was, naturally, much easier to deal with than usual...
Fan Fuqing’s method of handling the matter was direct: he attempted to forcibly invade Fan Shaohuang’s soul consciousness. If Shaojing’s essence wasn't inside him, then he was naturally innocent. But Fan Shaohuang could not allow such a probe—while he didn't have Fan Shaojing’s essence in his soul, he certainly had plenty of other people's...
To put it simply, if the old man found Shaojing’s essence, the worst he’d do was break one of Shaohuang's legs. But if he discovered the other things hidden in his soul... he would likely break all three of his legs.
Since Shaohuang couldn't explain himself and wouldn't allow the probe, he had no choice but to take the fall for Fan Shaojing. Resentment simmered in his heart: *Who is framing me?!*
Fan Fuqing was indeed a ruthless master. He ordered the disciples to strip Fan Shaohuang of his Daoist cultivation, break one of his legs, and expel him from Mount Cuiwei.
Fan Shaohuang was stubborn; he clenched his teeth and didn't utter a single groan. Only the green-eyed zombie, while packing their things, suddenly remembered the prayer mat facing the Ancestor’s tablet and felt that Shaohuang should probably go say goodbye to it...
After leaving that place, their only destination was Guantian Court. At this time, Guantian Court was exceptionally lively.
It started when Qiao’er was leading a group of zombies and minor demons in practicing their techniques. Suddenly, nearly all the zombies began to tremble. A primal fear, lurking at the very end of their bloodlines and the source of their existence, surged over them like a tidal wave. Finally, they all prostrated themselves on the ground.
The Daoists of the Hao family had never seen such a strange sight. As the tide of fear receded, moonlight silently filled the space between heaven and earth. Amidst the gentle ripples of the sea, there came treading upon the waves... a water bucket.
Yes, under the enchanting moonlight and the soft waves, amidst a floating fragrance, a "water bucket" came walking across the water.
A scent so thick that even the sea breeze couldn't disperse it began to spread. Every creature capable of flight—including sea turtles—fled at top speed. Those left behind who couldn't escape and possessed a sense of smell began to sneeze. *What... what is this strange stench?!*
The "water bucket" shimmering in the moonlight seemed quite pleased. "Oh, so many grandchildren! Stand up, now. Such good children~"
Qiao’er and the Hao family Daoists were filled with suspicion and dread, only now daring to look at her. Upon closer inspection, goosebumps erupted across their foreheads. This "water bucket" was dressed in a thin, pink gauze dress and draped from head to toe in jewelry. Her head was bald, so she wore a hat, which was also covered in hair ornaments. From a distance, she looked like a water bucket; up close, she was a mobile display rack...
It took a long time before the Hao family Daoist could find his voice. "You... who are you?"
The "water bucket" spun around happily, her voice like rolling thunder yet mimicking a girlish giggle. "I am Nü Ba. Is this Guantian Court?"
She surveyed her surroundings, still giggling. "I’ve come here to wait for someone."
As if granted a pardon, the zombies were finally able to move. Once they saw the "water bucket" clearly, they all scrambled toward Qiao’er. Qiao’er could now understand a bit of their language, which mostly consisted of them trying to verify: "Impossible... this can't be our ancestor. This thing cannot be our ancestor, waah..."
Qiao’er patted each of them, feeling immense sympathy.
Though his leg was broken, Fan Shaohuang didn't much care about the pain. His relationship with his father was severed, meaning he would never have to endure the old man’s temper again, never have to be compared to that hypocritical Fan Shaojing, never have to worry about the reputation of Mount Cuiwei, and never have to kneel on that damn prayer mat before the Ancestor’s tablet.
He felt he shouldn't care. What was this bit of pain?
But the moment he returned to Guantian Court, Fan Shaohuang began to feel a toothache, a stomachache, and a massive headache—that "water bucket" had been waiting for him for a long time.
Seeing him return, the "water bucket" was delighted. She stepped forward to remove the medicinal bandages from his leg. When Shaohuang resisted fiercely, she smiled and cast a Word Curse: "You are tired. Sleep."
Shaohuang felt his eyelids grow heavy, and within moments, he had fallen into a deep slumber. The "water bucket" called the green-eyed zombie in to assist, cleaning the blood from Shaohuang’s body. She then used her magic to reset his bones, heal his wounds, and even lay an immortal foundation for him.
The green-eyed zombie actually had many questions, but didn't know where to start. She, however, took a great liking to the zombie’s appearance and spoke to it in the language of the undead: "What do you want to ask?"
The green-eyed zombie had, after all, several thousand years of cultivation and knew a thing or two. "Are you truly Ba? From what I know, after Ying Long heavily injured you last time, you should have gone to the Realm of Demons and Monsters."
Ba gently peeled away the blood-stained silk from Shaohuang’s wounds, her tone indifferent. "Yes, but a few days ago I saw his life star dimming. He was likely facing a life-and-death tribulation, so I came out to take a look. And sure enough, I ran into him."
She said "came out" so casually, but the green-eyed zombie was secretly shocked. The barrier between the Realm of Demons and the human world was not something that could be breached so easily. "One can leave the Realm of Demons after entering?"
Ba seemed not to hear the question. She shifted to another topic: "Is that girl in Guantian Court yours?"
When she asked this, her eyes were sparkling with light, just short of asking: *Wow, wow, do you like her? Does she like you? Have you done it? Have you?!*
...
The green-eyed zombie couldn't stand this gossiping "water bucket." Once she began reconstructing Shaohuang’s immortal foundation, it scratched its head and stepped out. Turning back, it saw her silhouette; the pink gauze dress was semi-transparent, revealing a large patch of purple on her back.
She was injured. Who could possibly wound the Ancestor of Zombies? Was it from breaking through the barrier of the Demon Realm?
At that time, Qiao’er was reading in the small wooden hut. She found the room too stuffy, but it was difficult to keep a lamp lit outside. The green-eyed zombie had a solution. He carried Qiao’er to the largest, highest reef by the sea, letting her sit in his arms. Then, his eyes flashed, and the light within them grew bright, providing just enough illumination for Qiao’er to read.
Guantian Court had many luminous pearls, but Qiao’er was particularly fond of these two beams of light—they were soft on the eyes, the brightness was adjustable, and most importantly, they were portable.
The sky was full of stars, and the sea breeze brushed past with a salty dampness, cooling the midsummer heat. Qiao’er was very happy, occasionally leaning back against her "chair." Her multi-functional chair would then massage her shoulders and loosen her muscles.
Qiao’er brought up the matter of Ba, but the zombie was unwilling to say much, only warning her not to get too close to her. That night, no zombies were seen wandering Guantian Court—having seen their Ancestor’s true appearance, they were all hiding at the bottom of the sea, weeping...
The nights by the shore always seemed shrouded in mist. The waves kissed the beach, and the sound of the tide rising and falling grew faint. Without realizing it, Qiao’er leaned against the "backrest" behind her and fell fast asleep.
Her dream seemed sweet; a smile touched her lips as she snuggled closer to the backrest. The green-eyed zombie adjusted its posture to make her more comfortable.
Her breath tickled its chest, warm and moist. No longer needing to provide light, the glow in its eyes faded. Its head rested against the cold, hard reef, but its hand brushed over her soft, warm waist. The waves rolled endlessly, and sometimes it couldn't hear them. Only the sound of her heartbeat, pulse, and the flow of her blood remained clear—a symphony of vibrant life, something it had never possessed and thus always yearned for. This desire for life grew stronger every day as its intelligence awakened. Listening to it, the zombie would lose itself in this magnificent movement.
Under the starlit canopy and beside the flowery sea, the Ghost Carriage bird occasionally circled above the water. It was truly a beautiful world. It gently moved Qiao’er, who had almost rolled off the reef, back to its chest. She murmured something in her sleep, but mixed with the sea breeze, the zombie couldn't understand.
News of Fan Shaohuang being expelled from Mount Cuiwei spread quickly. The fair-weather friends he usually associated with couldn't get away fast enough once they heard of his misfortune, while his enemies felt the time had come to kick a man while he was down.
His external injuries weren't severe; Ba was able to restore him in a single night. However, building an immortal foundation required several days. In the past, when Guantian Court faced trouble, Fan Shaohuang usually handled it. Now that he was temporarily incapacitated, the zombies and minor demons didn't dare to act—there were many members of the Daoist sects coming, and if these creatures were discovered, Guantian Court would inevitably become the enemy of all Daoist sects under heaven.
The green-eyed zombie naturally didn't care about Guantian Court; it only worried for Qiao’er’s safety. Ba, however, was unconcerned. Early in the morning, she personally brewed medicine for Fan Shaohuang. Shaohuang only fully woke up when he saw her.
Wrapped in her pink gauze dress that clung to her water-bucket-like frame, she leaned down low and coaxed him softly, "Drink your medicine."
Fan Shaohuang refused—the medicine was too bitter. Ba coaxed him again, "If you finish it, I’ll give you a kiss."
Fan Shaohuang clenched his jaw even tighter, refusing even more vehemently.
The two of them struggled over the medicine bowl by the bed. Finally, Ba relented, her eyes narrowing as she shouted, "If you don't drink it right now, I'll kiss you!"
Fan Shaohuang stared at the medicine bowl with a dark face for a long time. Finally, he gritted his teeth and gulped the entire bowl down. Ba watched him with a grin. Once he finished, she pounced on him, her voice filled with the joy of a successful scheme: "Now that you've finished, I'll give you two kisses!"
From inside the room, only Fan Shaohuang’s furious roar could be heard...
Outside, a large group of Daoists had arrived seeking revenge. Ba didn't care for them in the slightest; in her eyes, this group of Daoist elites wasn't worth a single flake of Fan Shaohuang’s dandruff.
The pilgrims at Guantian Court were still arriving in an endless stream, and the arrival of a large group of Daoists undoubtedly became new fodder for their tea-time gossip.
Qiao’er was in a difficult position. These Daoists had come for revenge against Fan Shaohuang, and they weren't the reasonable sort. Qiao’er spent a long time trying to explain, but the group was determined to charge inside. Finally, Ba, having coaxed Shaohuang to sleep (or perhaps fainted from anger), strolled out leisurely.
She was indeed different from other zombies. The August sun was bright and brilliant, and as she stood in the golden sunlight, her heavy fragrance wafted out. Many lucky Daoists began to sneeze; the unlucky ones who didn't sneeze began to vomit uncontrollably...
Ba, however, saw nothing wrong with her appearance. She spun around (what she thought was) gracefully. "My, everyone seems to be in high spirits."
Seeing her come out, Qiao’er finally felt relieved and hurried to her side. With the Ancestor of Zombies here, what was there to worry about?
Ba seemed to sense her thoughts. She turned and gave her a playful wink. "You’d better worry a little. I can't take action."
*What...*
Ba remained cheerful, spinning a few more times and giggling softly. "If I take action, I’m afraid the people from the Heavenly Realm will show up. They don't allow me to stay in the mortal world."
Now Qiao’er was distressed. What were they supposed to do then?
Of course, she had to be forgiven; although she had learned some Daoist arts recently and her knowledge had broadened, she was still a mortal. It was impossible to achieve anything significant in just a year or so.
Ba watched her fret for a while before bursting into laughter. She seemed to be perpetually happy, finding everything interesting regardless of the situation. "Silly girl, you're so cute. If I were a man, I’d have carried you home already, haha."
With that, she tossed the Mirror of the World into the center of the field. All sound ceased. The ancient mirror spun in the air and landed steadily on the ground, suddenly expanding countless times in size.
Qiao’er was struck dumb with amazement, not knowing that the ancient mirror naturally changed its form according to the size of the object it needed to reflect. Legend had it that its master had used it to reflect the heavens, the earth, the sun, and the moon, so no one truly knew how large it could become.
Even Qiao’er overlooked this detail. She only felt... she wondered if the inventor of this precious mirror had eventually been stripped naked and paraded through the streets...
Sure enough, as the copper mirror landed, all noise in the area fell silent. The group of Daoists watched as their revenge meeting turned into a "Daoist Masters' Streaking Exhibition."
Such a wondrous sight was rare in a century. The pilgrims all stared with wide eyes, clutching their bellies in laughter.
In the end, the fight never happened. It wasn't because the Daoists suddenly found their conscience, but because everyone’s hands were busy covering other important parts—their faces—and they couldn't hold their weapons...
That day, Qiao’er understood one thing: these gods and demons were all old monsters who had lived for thousands or tens of thousands of years. They were incredibly devious...
***
