Chapter 14 - Longing Through the Night
The cold, artificial glow of the smartphone screen was the only light in the silent bedroom, casting long, flickering shadows against the walls. Jin Yan’s thumb moved with mechanical repetition, scrolling through a deluge of social media comments that seemed to move faster than he could process. His expression remained stoic, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of the turmoil within.
"It’s New Year’s Eve! Look at their outfits—they’re perfectly coordinated! Mom, I’m ascending... I can finally die happy!"
"I’m shipping them so hard... Commercial events really are the best for fanservice!"
"Can certain CP fans stop leaching off the hype? Why does our Duan-duan have to be paired with an Alpha?"
"Your Duan-duan? Try calling him that to his face and see if he even blinks."
"Even Sister Julia hasn't said anything, so why are you all making such a fuss?"
"Stop the delusional shipping. Brother Shu already posted a clarification. Please, CP fans, keep your fantasies to yourselves."
Jin Yan watched the digital war unfold, his heart surprisingly steady. Compared to the sharp, jagged jealousy that used to pierce him, his current state was one of weary resignation. He looked at the high-definition photos of Zhou Shu attending the grand gala tonight. In the images, Zhou Shu was radiant, a celestial body around which the entire room orbited. He was the Movie King, a man born for the spotlight, possessing a charisma that could not be contained within the four walls of a home.
Acting was not just a career for Zhou Shu; it was his soul’s calling. Jin Yan knew this. He knew that to love Zhou Shu was to accept that he belonged to the world as much as he belonged to him. Yet, seeing him standing beside Duan Xingyi—or any other co-star—still left a bitter tang in the back of his throat. Today it was Duan Xingyi; tomorrow it would be someone else, a never-ending cycle of "Duan Xingyi the Second" or "Duan Xingyi the Third." The thought filled the hollows of his chest with a heavy, suffocating ache.
He tossed the phone aside and lay staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Outside the window, the vibrant lights of Haicheng began to extinguish one by one, surrendering to the deep indigo of the late hour. Sleep remained an elusive stranger. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the flashbulbs of the red carpet and the way the beauty mark beneath Zhou Shu’s lip seemed to dance when he smiled for the cameras.
Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, he reached for his phone. The screen flared to life, momentarily blinding him. With trembling fingers, he typed a short, vulnerable message.
[Ge, when are you coming back?]
He stared at the sent bubble, the blue text a stark contrast to the dark background. He knew there would be no response tonight. Zhou Shu would be tied up with after-parties, interviews, and the logistical nightmare of traveling back. There would be no "ping" of a notification to soothe his restless mind.
With a heavy sigh, Jin Yan locked the device and turned onto his side, pulling the duvet tighter around his shoulders. The room was cold, lacking the warmth of the person who usually occupied the other half of the bed. It was only when the city finally fell into a true hush, and the rhythmic, distant roar of the sea wind began to sing a melancholic lullaby, that his eyes finally drifted shut, surrendering to a fitful sleep.
