I am Nan Muxue.
Today is my wedding day.
The candlelight is bright. We have weathered so many days and nights, through countless partings and reunions. I look at the person fast asleep at the table and gently drape a cloak over her. I pick up this book, *Master, Spare My Life*. She said it was time for the ending. I flip through it, only to find the latter pages filled with the words "Marrying Xue'er" written in large characters. Even in her dreams, a silly smile hangs on the corners of her lips. I take up the brush; the final chapter shall be written by me.
Ruo'er is my beloved. Before that, she was my disciple. In just a few short years, we have experienced so much—joy and sorrow, parting and loss, life and death. Our story is both long and short, but what remains unchanged is our faith in one another. We will never, ever let go of each other's hands.
It is funny to think that this is not my first time getting married, yet every single time, it has been to her. Ruo'er always said that something bad happened every time we tried to wed. She was worried, afraid things wouldn't go as planned. I comforted her, telling her they wouldn't, because I was certain that no one could ever separate us again.
As I said, today is our wedding day. We have been busy since dawn. As for that girl, I haven't seen her for several days. Though we are both within the palace, she has been exceptionally cautious this time. A person who never cared for rules is now acting with such meticulous care. She felt that she had jinxed our last wedding by breaking tradition to see me and by me lifting my own veil. This time, she refused to ruin anything. Sometimes, Ruo'er is endearingly childish.
For some reason, despite my outward calm, I began to grow nervous as the hour approached. My breathing grew heavy, and my heart raced uncontrollably. Fortunately, I was already beneath my bridal veil. I tried my best to appear as I usually did; hopefully, no one noticed.
Before that, I caught a glimpse of myself in the bronze mirror. It was a face I knew all too well, yet for a moment, it felt like that of a stranger. I don't know how to describe it. My makeup was no different from previous times, but I thought that if that girl saw me, she would surely be dazed with joy. She would stare at me without blinking, hold my hand, and tell me I was the most beautiful woman in the world. At that thought, my hand trembled involuntarily. Suddenly, time felt so agonizingly slow. I wanted to go out; I wanted to see my Ruo'er.
On this day, aside from my personal maid A-Yue, only Liuli and the others were with me. They are the companions I grew up with. Liuli and Ning'er were overjoyed. As for Yan'er, her eyes held envy and blessings, along with some unnamable emotions. Yun Shuang had gone with the others to receive the guests. It hadn't been easy for those two to be together either. Yun Shuang had been forced to do things against her will in the past, making their path harder than the others, but their ending was a happy one.
Earlier, everyone had stared at me in a daze, which only made me more nervous. I wanted to reach up and touch my face. "Is... is there something on my face?" Today was the most important day of my life; I didn't want Ruo'er to see even the slightest imperfection.
"No," Liuli smiled, sighing with emotion. "It's because you're too beautiful."
Ning'er chimed in, "Yes, Xue'er, you look truly stunning today. If that girl sees you, she'll probably have another nosebleed."
"I really didn't expect that out of all of us, you would be the first to marry."
Yan'er walked over as well. "The four of us used to wonder what kind of person would be worthy of you. We thought that in the entire martial world, no one would ever catch your eye. Who knew..."
"Who knew it would be a girl who appeared out of nowhere, lived off you, and ended up being your disciple?"
"I only want Ruo'er."
Liuli asked me, "It's not that she isn't good, but no matter how you look at it, one would never have imagined you two together—not in terms of personality, temperament, or anything else."
I thought of what Ruo'er once told me, and I told them the same. "Love is something that cannot be explained. Sometimes, it only takes a single glance or a single word to know that this is the person you will walk with for the rest of your life."
"Oh," Yan'er didn't miss the chance to tease me. "So the first time I met her with you, you acted so out of character by insisting on bringing her back because you were finding yourself a husband? I had a feeling back then that this Chu Ruo wouldn't be an ordinary person. Or rather, that things between you wouldn't be simple. Did you know? I almost stabbed her with my Ice Condensation Sword back then, but Xue'er stopped me."
The others were curious, their eyes fixed on me. I smiled. "At the time, I sensed she was a martial arts prodigy."
Ning'er, always one to dig for the truth, asked, "Hey, you've said that before, but was that really the only reason?"
"I don't know. As Yan'er said, when such a suspicious person appeared, any one of us would have stabbed her without hesitation. But that day, I simply didn't want to. I had only one thought: to save her. Perhaps it was fate. Ruo'er said she came here for me." This was the first time I had been so honest with the others. I believe everything was destined. You traveled through time to find me, and now, I am your future.
Yan'er curled her lip. "So you used my name as a pretext to interact with her. Ning'er told me everything. You sent me away during that time just so you could use my name to secretly be with her. Poor me, kicked out for so long. Every time I came back, I didn't even get a sip of water before you sent me down the mountain again. Sigh... I suppose I deserve some credit for how you two turned out today, right?"
A smile kept surfacing on my lips today. "That was an accident. Ruo'er mistook me for you." It was as Yan'er said; I had used her identity to constantly get close to Ruo'er. I knew I shouldn't, I knew it was forbidden, yet I couldn't stop myself. Later, "Yan'er" became my secret. She told me that whenever she called me Yan'er, I had to listen to her. But after that, she never called me that again. She said that for the rest of her life, she was willing to be captive to me.
"But you didn't correct her either! I still find it hard to believe you fell for that girl and even played those childish games with her. Still, seeing her willing to die for you, change for you, and do everything she did... I think you didn't love the wrong person."
"Xue'er," they all came over together, holding my hands and helping me lower the veil before leading me outside. "We are all happy for you, truly. We hope you and Chu Ruo will face no more obstacles from now on, and grow old together in harmony."
With trembling hands and supported by the others, I walked out of the room step by step.
The sunset was perfect. Everything had been for this moment. Those few steps felt as long as a lifetime. Every step reflected everything we had been through—meeting, the master-disciple bond, falling in love, and then those twists and turns, up until the moment I renounced her as my disciple before the whole world. Every scene was etched into my heart. My mind was filled with images of us together, until finally, I stood before her. They placed my hand into her palm. As it turned out, she was trembling just as much as I was. "Xue'er..."
Even her voice was shaking. I truly wanted to look at my Ruo'er at that moment, to see her dressed in festive red, to see her smile, to see the way her eyes held only me. She told me that when I walked out in my phoenix crown and embroidered robe, the sunset draped a layer of gold over my bridal dress. It looked so dazzling that one could hardly keep their eyes open. She knew that this was the light of happiness.
"First bow to Heaven and Earth!"
"Second bow to the Elders!"
"Husband and wife bow to each other!"
Though my mother had caused us to be separated many times and I had nearly lost Ruo'er on several occasions, we still bowed to her, and then toward the outside, as a bow to Ruo'er's parents. She doesn't belong here; I was always worried she would suddenly leave. She said that as long as I held her tight every night and kissed her once, she wouldn't leave. I believed her implicitly and did so for many years, and she kept her promise. She never left.
Surrounded by the others, we returned to our room. This time, we drank the nuptial wine first. We tied our hair together as a symbol of our union, cutting a lock from each other, tying them in a knot, and placing them in a sachet. Ruo'er never let that sachet leave her side again.
She said she insisted on completing every ritual this time to prevent anyone from interrupting. Fortunately, everything went smoothly. This time, we were finally married. From now on, I, Nan Muxue, am Chu Ruo'er's wife. She calls me Madam Chu. I fulfilled the wish I made that New Year's night by the Silent Lake: Nan Muxue would be Chu Ruo'er's wife.
Of course, the reason she did all this early was because she still had to go out and host the guests. She didn't want the Hundred Flowers Palace to lose face. I knew it was all for me. She had been working hard to help me achieve what I wanted. Originally, I carried the weight of the entire palace, and my goal was to make it the leader of the martial alliance. But that had changed long ago, silly girl. What I want now is right by my side.
She was gone for a long time, until well after dark. As the night grew silent and the noise died down, I, who was usually calm and patient, began to grow restless. I sat by the bed, waiting without moving, yet she was nowhere to be seen. Were those irrelevant people more important than me? I resisted the urge to tear off the veil, wondering if I should take my Ice Soul sword and see exactly who was keeping her. How frustrating. Then I remembered her saying she had to lift the veil herself, or it would be bad luck. Fine. I had waited this long; what was another moment?
The door opened. I was filled with joy, only to find her being carried in. It was Ning'er's complaining voice. "She's heavy as lead, and reeks of alcohol. Honestly..."
I immediately went over, and my waist was instantly wrapped in her arms. "Xue'er... mmm... you didn't lift the veil. Good girl... love you..."
My voice turned cold. "Who made her drink?"
Ning'er knew my temper well. Even without seeing my face, she could hear the frost in my tone. She quickly said, "Well, isn't it a joyous day? You two hurry up and get to your bridal night, don't miss the auspicious hour! I'm leaving now."
"Go, go, run fast! If Xue'er comes out later, she might actually eat someone."
"Now you're scared? Then why did you make her drink so much? You too—you knew today was their big day. If you wanted to prank her, couldn't you have waited until tomorrow?"
"What? She's the one who provoked me, calling me a 'bottom' and saying I'm weak, and even insulting my clothes!"
"Weren't you the one who started it? Just wait for Xue'er to settle the score later."
"Ah, then help me, Liuli~"
"Oh, scared now? Liuli, didn't someone just say they were going to crash the bridal chamber tonight..."
"Ha, Yan'er, don't say I didn't warn you. Xue'er's tone just now wasn't exactly friendly. If you want to go, go by yourself. Don't count me in."
"It was clearly your idea! I'm leaving too, going to drink with Yun Shuang."
"Hmph, I'm going to drink with my Liuli then. Let's go, let's go."
"Go? Go where? Come back... didn't you say I can't drink? Said I'm embarrassing Xue'er... where are you going? Come at me again!"
...This girl. She gets teased by Ning'er every single time. I didn't know whether to be angry or laugh. I helped her to the bedside. I intended to scold her, but as soon as I opened my mouth, my voice softened. "Ruo'er." I knew I had changed; I couldn't even bring myself to reprimand her.
"Xue'er?" She had slumped down, but hearing me call, she forced herself to sit up. I felt helpless. Does this girl not know what day it is? So foolish, drinking so much just because someone provoked her. Forget it. "If you're tired, just sleep."
"We've barely started..."
I pulled at her crossly. "You're not allowed to drink in the future."
"Mhm," she answered, though she likely wouldn't remember. "Xue'er..."
She pulled me, her hands fumbling. "I'm here. What are you doing?"
"The veil..." she muttered, finally managing to pull it off. She said, "Your veil... I have to be the one to lift it."
The thing I had worn on my head all day was removed. I was a bit dazed. In this life, there would only be this one time. My cheeks suddenly felt warm, then the feeling vanished. The warm sensation on my lips seemed to linger. I looked again; she had already collapsed, mumbling about the wedding, being happy, or calling my name. She was utterly adorable. I leaned down, unable to resist kissing her forehead, teasing her playfully. "Ruo'er? Are you not going to the bridal bed today?"
I never thought such words would come from my mouth, even as a joke, and my face flushed red. Perhaps it was because of her fleeting kiss earlier, but my heart felt as if it were being gripped by something, a sense of wanting more. I reached out to stroke her hair. "Ruo'er?"
She fumbled to embrace me, half-conscious. "Not today... tomorrow... tomorrow we'll do it..."
"I want you. Are you willing?"
I had never asked her so seriously, yet I was doing it while she was drunk. Previously, it had mostly been to tease her. Seeing her get flustered and anxious made me happy. In truth, I never cared about such things; as long as she was happy, it was enough. So, seeing her usual fear whenever the topic was raised, I only joked about it. She always said she was afraid of pain. I remembered saying long ago that I would wait until our wedding night. Tonight was our wedding night.
"I'm willing."
I didn't know if she truly heard me or if she was just answering in her drunken state. After all, she listens to everything I say now. Yet, having received this consent, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted. I admit, I was a little afraid she would say no.
It happened naturally. At least tonight, at this moment, I wanted my Ruo'er to belong entirely to me.
I trembled ungracefully. It was unfamiliar, but it went smoothly enough. At one point, she suddenly gripped my hand, seeming a bit more sober, her brow damp with sweat from the pain. She spoke uncertainly, "Xue'er... is it Xue'er... is it..."
"It's me," I kissed her repeatedly, just as she had once done for me. I used to be her master, but now I was clumsily learning from her. "Ruo'er, it's me." I knew she was still drunk. On a night like this, I only wanted to say those three words that everyone knows: "I love you."
"As long as it's Xue'er..." she frowned. Though the alcohol dulled most of her consciousness, she still cried out in pain a few times, yet she still said to me, "As long as it's you... if it's you, it's okay."
Of course it is me. It will always be me.
As the night deepened, I held the person who had become my husband in my arms. Even now, it felt like a dream. I truly possessed my beloved. She is Ruo'er, my Ruo'er.
Dawn broke.
Ruo'er opened her eyes, and the first thing she did was look at me. In truth, I had been awake for a long time. Or rather, I hadn't slept all night. Was I excited? No, not exactly. It was because of happiness, yet also a sense of being lost. I was terrified this was a dream, and that when I woke, you wouldn't be by my side. I stayed awake all night just so I wouldn't wake up from your dream.
"Xue'er~" she leaned in softly to act spoiled and kissed me, but after only a second, she began to grimace. "Ow, ow, ow... my back hurts, my waist hurts... eh?" She looked at herself, then at me, and then, with a comical and uncertain expression, she lowered her head and peeked under the covers. "You..."
"Mhm."
"I haven't even said anything yet!"
I couldn't help but kiss her. "What do you want to say?"
"Well, I just wanted to ask... that... did you... did you last night..."
"Yes."
Her eyes widened. This wasn't the first time she'd looked so dazed. This girl wears everything on her face; she's too easy to read, yet she asks me every time if I have some mind-reading trick I haven't taught her. I smile and say nothing. Sometimes I deliberately act mysterious to leave her puzzled. I plan to keep this secret for a lifetime. "Do you really understand what I mean?"
"You want to ask what I did to you last night?"
"Ahem!"
"Does it still hurt?"
I saw her face turn red. "You... you..."
"What? Is it wrong to care about you?"
"No, it's just... those words coming from your mouth... that should be my line. It feels weird. Did you really... to me last night?"
"What do you think?"
"How should I know?"
"Last night was our wedding night, yet you went off to drink and be merry, forgetting the time? You had to be carried back reeking of alcohol. This is your punishment."
"That was Duan Ning! She provoked me! I don't care, you have to punish her. She bullied me, Xue'er~"
As long as she asks, I will agree to anything. "Fine, I'll punish her."
"Hehe, my wife is the best."
"Do you have nothing else to say?"
"No. I'm so sleepy, so tired, and I... hurt. Leave the guests to the others."
"Ruo'er, I took you last night. Are you really not angry?"
"What's there to be angry about? I just didn't expect it. You little scorpion, taking advantage of a drunk person." She smiled intentionally. "I'm a bit surprised, but... how should I put it? Anyway, you know what I mean."
I held her tight. "Last night, I asked you. Although you agreed, you were drunk."
"That just shows that even drunk, those were my true feelings. Actually, it's fine. I was drunk, so I didn't feel much."
I raised an eyebrow and pinched her chin. "You didn't feel much?"
"Mhm..."
I rolled over. "Then you'll feel it now..."
"Little scorpion, you've learned bad things..."
...
This is the story of Ruo'er and me. As for the others, after our wedding, they left one by one. Tu Aozhi left with Tu Jie and his other children. Tu Jie was much better; though he hadn't fully recovered, I gave them some rare Golden Bone Grass. I heard it would help neutralize the poison from his time as a medicinal thrall. If what Bai Xue said was true, then he might be my father, or he might not. Either way, it doesn't matter. All I want is Ruo'er; as long as she is by my side, it is enough.
Fenghuang and Bai Xue were leaving too. They came to bid us farewell. Bai Xue was taking my mother with her; no one else could care for her.
"You're going back?" Ruo'er asked. "Didn't you sneak out? Won't the people of the Miao region be unhappy?"
"I've been out for so long, I have to go back eventually. I'll be with my aunt; we need to give them an explanation. I've seen a lot this time, and I'm happy to have made friends like you. I still hope to lead my people out into the world. As for my aunt, she wants to return the sacred relics."
Bai Xue nodded. "I've been away for so many years; it's time to go back and see. I was too headstrong back then, coming out alone, and then because of me, all those things happened, and I just ran away. I was too immature. Now that I have Menghua with me, I hope to make up for some of my past mistakes."
Ruo'er looked at me and asked, "Will you come back?" I knew she was asking because of me, caring about my mother's future. In truth, this ending was best for my mother and for everyone.
"We will. I'll bring Menghua back to see you."
Not long after, Bai Zhi'er was also leaving. I intended to let Ruo'er spend some time alone with her, but she refused, saying it wasn't necessary. I could see that Ruo'er felt a sense of loss. In all fairness, Bai Zhi'er's kindness and love for her were no less than mine, but I was the one who won Ruo'er's heart.
"Zhi'er," Ruo'er looked like she wanted to cry. She had always considered her her best friend and treated her like my sister. "You'll come back, right?"
"Of course. Otherwise, what if Wotou forgets me?" She was taking Bai Shan with her. Ever since Bai Shan learned of her origin, she had been somewhat unstable. "However, given Shan-shan's current state, I'll take her back to Xianlai Island to recover for a while. If you miss me, you can come visit. I've told you how to get to the island, haven't I?" She glanced at me. "You can bring your little scorpion along."
"What? Aren't you afraid I'll burn your island to the ground and kill everyone on it?"
She shot back, "You're welcome to try. My Xianlai Island isn't that easy to deal with, and your Hundred Flowers Palace isn't that hard to breach."
Heh~
We both laughed simultaneously. I knew that regarding my heritage, Ruo'er wished for Bai Zhi'er to be my sister so it could resolve our enmity. In truth, I never hated her. As for her, at this moment, it felt as if we truly considered each other sisters.
"Treat Ruo'er well, don't bully her. As for yourself," she said three words: "Be careful."
"Mhm. You... take care."
Bai Zhi'er left. Shen Ruoxuan and Lin Jianghong also came to say goodbye before returning to their villa. Lin Jianghong seemed to be in a bad mood because she had missed Bai Zhi'er's departure.
"Hmph!" She stomped her foot at Ruo'er. "Everyone I like likes you! Hmph!"
"Please be reasonable, okay? I won't even mention Xue'er, but when you liked Zhi'er, she already liked me. Ow, don't pinch..."
"This lady is leaving! Tell Bai Zhi'er I'll challenge her again!"
"Little Ruo-ruo, Little Xue-xue, I'm off! If you miss me, come to Sword Casting Villa. Until we meet again!"
Everyone was gone. The Hundred Flowers Palace seemed to have become quiet and cold again, but that didn't matter, because I had someone by my side.
"Look at you, as soon as everyone leaves, you start bullying me."
"I would be like this even if they were here."
"Then can't you be a bit better to me? Gentler or something?"
I smiled. I find myself smiling often now. They say I smile more. "I'm certainly not as good at acting spoiled as your Miss Bai Zhi'er."
"Mhm," she tilted her head to look at me. "But if you occasionally act spoiled with me, I'd be happy too."
I stepped forward, kissed her, and gently tugged on her sleeve. "Ruo'er~"
A tear escaped the corner of Ruo'er's eye. She embraced me. "In this life, I have finally obtained my heart's desire. I think I have nothing left to ask for, except for time to slow down, so I can be with you a little longer. That is enough."
...
The night breeze blew past. The person sleeping at the table opened her eyes. She rubbed them and came over with a smile to embrace me. "Time for bed."
I kissed her. "Mhm."
I know Ruo'er is always worried that our time together is too short. Even after we have spent a long, happy life together, after walking a joyful and lengthy path, she will still hold my hand tight and say she hasn't had enough of me, saying that in the next life, she wants to be with me again. We will surely meet and fall in love once more.
The night is deep. I close this book, *Master, Spare My Life*, and fall asleep in the arms of my beloved.
Ruo'er, the story began with you, and it ends with me.
