Yan’er. That name was like a bolt from the blue. The moment Chu Ruo heard it, she snapped back to her senses and scrambled off Nan Muxue, cursing herself for being such a beast. "I... it’s late. I’m going back to sleep."
A hand shot out, grabbing her collar with practiced speed. "You aren't usually this disciplined when night falls. Normally, I can’t even drive you away. What’s changed?"
"I’m tired," Chu Ruo said, her heart heavy with a sudden, hollow ache. "I just want to rest."
Nan Muxue felt a surge of irritation and stifled gloom. Why did this girl turn into a fool the moment Yan’er was mentioned? "Yan’er..."
"I don’t want to hear it!" Chu Ruo interrupted hastily, clutching her head. "I don’t want to hear anything or say anything." *Yan’er, Yan’er... how could I only care about being with the Little Scorpion? I told her I liked her while completely ignoring you. Yan’er, I’m sorry.*
"Is Yan’er truly that important to you?"
There was a sigh in Nan Muxue's voice, and Chu Ruo sighed along with her. "I’m sorry."
"You..."
"It’s all my fault. I’m a scoundrel. I shouldn’t have acted that way just now, and I shouldn’t have neglected Yan’er while being with you. I didn’t consider either of your feelings. It’s all my fault for being such scum. I... I’ve let you both down."
Nan Muxue pulled her into a hug, patting her back soothingly. Her voice softened. "We have never blamed you. I haven't, and neither has Yan’er."
"But I blame myself," Chu Ruo didn't pull away, but the embrace was no longer charged with desire; it was purely for comfort. Her mind was a mess, and she truly needed this warmth to anchor her. "You and Yan’er... you’re both such wonderful women. You shouldn't waste yourselves on a crooked sprout like me..."
"Heh." Before she could finish, Nan Muxue let out a soft laugh and looked down at her. "Who describes themselves like that? Weren't you quite full of yourself usually?"
"I know my own worth," Chu Ruo said with a bitter smile. "I know exactly how much I weigh. I’ve only survived by leaning on your protection and being shameless. Honestly, if Yan’er hadn't saved me first, and if you hadn't taken me in afterward, I’d probably have starved to death on the streets by now. You both have been kind to me."
"So you do know." Nan Muxue pinched her chin. "Then why do you spend every day making trouble and provoking your Master?"
"I said I won't provoke you anymore. Besides, you’re the one who’s petty."
Nan Muxue narrowed her eyes. "What did you say, Ruo’er?"
"Alright, alright." Chu Ruo hugged her back tightly. She wanted a hug tonight, a source of solace. "I’m not in the mood for jokes."
"You provoke me and then claim I’m the one joking? You truly are thick-skinned." Nan Muxue let her stay in her arms. "So? Still thinking about Yan’er?"
"I am." She admitted it. In that moment, Nan Muxue felt a complex, inexplicable conflict of emotions. She should be happy that Chu Ruo cared for Yan’er, yet she wasn't. Then, the girl added quietly, "I’m thinking about you, too."
"Ruo’er," she called out.
"Master," Chu Ruo replied with a rare, solemn seriousness. "Actually... why did you take me as your disciple?" *Someone like me isn't even fit to do chores in the Hundred Flowers Palace. Why were you so good to me from the very beginning?*
Nan Muxue held her, looking up as if recalling the scene. "Back then, though your injuries weren't fatal, you were little better than a corpse. If left alone, you would have surely died within days. But I discovered you were a martial arts prodigy. I thought that if I brought you back and trained you well, you would one day be a great asset to me. I just didn't expect you to be such a character—spending every day causing disasters and turning my Hundred Flowers Palace upside down. It’s too late for regrets now."
She didn't want to lie to her. That had indeed been the reason at the start. But she didn't mention the sudden flicker of compassion she had felt. She didn't know why, but when that person appeared before her that day, she simply wanted to save her. In that moment, Nan Muxue’s mind had been empty of schemes; perhaps it was simply fate.
"So that’s why you gave me the Hundred Flowers Parasite to control me," Chu Ruo nodded thoughtfully.
"Are you..." Nan Muxue bit her lip, her voice tense. "Are you angry?"
"No." Chu Ruo shook her head calmly. "I know how the martial world works. From your perspective, you just wanted to ensure your pawn would always obey you. Besides, you didn't know me then. It’s only natural to be cautious. I mean, I think it was a *little* excessive, but what can I do? I’m helpless. I can’t run away, and you’re the one who provides the meals, so I have to stick with you."
It wasn't that she had zero resentment—no one is a saint, and being poisoned isn't exactly a reason for gratitude—but as she got to know the "Little Scorpion," she realized this woman wasn't the monster the rumors claimed. She was largely constrained by Nan Menghua. Even if she had let Chu Ruo go that day, Nan Menghua wouldn't have allowed it. So why bring it up? Better to let her feel at ease. Besides, their relationship had already progressed to this point; there was no need to dwell on the past.
Nan Muxue’s clenched fist hidden under the covers slowly relaxed. She deliberately turned her head away. "In any case, I am the butcher and you are the meat. Your anger would be useless anyway."
*Hey, you Little Scorpion, acting all arrogant again? Why is your mouth so stubborn?* "You’re really not as cute as Yan’er. If it were Yan’er, she would definitely say..."
"Say what?" Nan Muxue looked back curiously. When Chu Ruo trailed off, she urged, "Speak."
"I..." Chu Ruo had paused because she was dazed. "I don’t know what she would say. I suddenly feel like I don’t understand Yan’er at all. Every time I’m with her, I’m the one talking about myself. I’ve realized I never really ask about her. It feels like we haven't seen each other in forever. I wonder how she’s doing all alone back at the Palace."
"You miss her?"
"Yeah," Chu Ruo answered naturally, then quickly looked at Nan Muxue. "No, I mean... don't... I..."
"Why are you stuttering, Ruo’er?"
*Tsk, tsk, tsk, lifting my chin again.* If the topic weren't so heavy, this would be a perfect romantic moment. "I’ve realized I’m truly terrible. When I’m with you, I worry about Yan’er; when I’m with her, I worry about you. Why hasn't anyone scolded me? A few slaps to wake me up would be nice. Master, actually..." Chu Ruo propped herself up. "Why don't you hit me a few times? To clear my head."
"Are you certain?"
"Yes." She nodded, then shielded her head. "Just not the face! Definitely not the face!"
"Nonsense. Come here." Nan Muxue pulled her back down. "Since your mind is a mess, go to sleep early."
"Oh, right." Chu Ruo didn't want to dwell on the topic either. Remembering something else, she asked, "What do you plan to rename that inn?"
The Yuelai Inn she had bought for her? Nan Muxue shook her head. "Why bother with the trouble of changing it?"
"You have no ambition. That’s your property now. Don't you want to rename it to claim your sovereignty? It belongs to you; every brick and blade of grass should be yours. A new name is very important."
"Boring." Yet, she still asked, "Do you have any suggestions?" Even though she had never cared for such things before, she found herself changing step by step to accommodate this girl's whims.
"It’s your inn, why ask me?" Chu Ruo scratched her head. "Hmm, let me think... Muxue Pavilion? Muxue Hall?"
"Could you be any more literal? Do you have anything even more cliché to embarrass yourself with?"
"Well, I’m terrible at names. You do it. You won't be much better than me."
Nan Muxue pondered for a moment before speaking. "Ruoxue Pavilion."
*Ruo?* It included her name. She looked up at the woman holding her, but Nan Muxue had already turned her head away as if sensing her gaze. Chu Ruo felt her heart racing. She hugged her tighter. "Let’s call it Xueruo Pavilion instead. It sounds better." *Yes, the Little Scorpion’s name should come before mine.*
The other woman didn't speak, but having been by her side for so long, Chu Ruo knew this was silent consent. "Then... go to sleep." Chu Ruo truly had things on her mind and wasn't in the mood for sleep. Moreover, after what happened earlier, she felt a bit awkward staying. She decided she should sleep alone for a while starting tomorrow.
"Tonight," Nan Muxue stopped her again, this time squeezing into her arms without allowing any argument, "just sleep here. It’s a hassle to run back and forth."
That last part was clearly an excuse, but seeing her like this, Chu Ruo couldn't bear to leave. She lay back down, deciding to stay just for tonight and sleep alone starting tomorrow. "Fine, let’s sleep." She held the other woman, but then she shifted twice and let out a small "Eek." "You aren't as comfortable to hold as before. Oh, it must be because the weather is getting colder. What use do I have for you then?"
Pushed beyond her limit, Nan Muxue snapped, "Get out!"
A powerful blast of internal energy sent Chu Ruo flying out the door. "You woman! I said I’d leave and you wouldn't let me, now you blast me out... Ah! Help! Help me!"
***
The next day.
"Xue’er," Duan Ning and Yin Liuli appeared before Nan Muxue. "You’re up quite early."
"Am I not always?"
"Want to have breakfast together?"
Nan Muxue flipped through the book in her hand. "No need. Go with Liuli."
Duan Ning nodded. "You never join us, yet you’re willing to share a table with that girl. The difference in treatment is quite clear."
Yin Liuli pulled her sleeve. "Ning’er..." She shook her head, signaling her to stop. She had seen firsthand how protective Xue’er was of Chu Ruo.
"If you have something to say, say it. No need to beat around the bush."
"It’s nothing. I just wanted to know where Chu Ruo went last night," Duan Ning said, spreading her hands. "She didn't seem to be in her room."
"And you?" Nan Muxue didn't look up. "You didn't seem to be in your room last night either."
Both Duan Ning and Yin Liuli froze, their faces flushing slightly. In truth, nothing scandalous had happened; they had simply shared a room to chat, but it was still embarrassing. Their feelings for each other were no secret to Nan Muxue.
Duan Ning quickly recovered. "I’ve already sent a letter to Yan’er, asking her to come here for a few days."
Nan Muxue finally lost her composure. She slammed her book down, displeased. "We are all at the branch sect. It’s better for her and Yunshuang to guard the Palace. What are you doing?"
Duan Ning shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing. I just miss her and want to see her. I heard your precious disciple gets along well with her, too. She probably misses her as well."
"Since when did you start acting on your own authority? Have those years at the branch sect made you forget the rules?"
Seeing the tension, Yin Liuli tried to mediate. "Xue’er, Ning’er is just flighty, you..."
"If you’re worried about the branch sect, Liuli or I can go back and take over for a while. When Yan’er returns, we can switch back."
"Intercept that letter immediately." Nan Muxue swept past them, her tone brook no argument.
Duan Ning stuck out her tongue behind her back and pulled Yin Liuli along to follow.
***
"Chu Ruo, did you go out thieving last night? Your dark circles are huge."
"Go away." Chu Ruo rested an arm on Xiao Guo’er’s shoulder. The younger girl tried to push her off, but Chu Ruo was too strong, so she eventually gave up. "You don't look much better yourself. Did you sneak down the mountain to meet some pretty girl or a lover?"
"Pah!" Xiao Guo’er nearly spat in her face. "Get lost! I was up late sharing ghost stories with the other disciples. It’s a shame you didn't come; it was so fun and terrifying."
Chu Ruo’er’s interest was piqued. "Really?"
"The rules aren't as strict here at the branch. They tell stories often. Want to join?"
"Absolutely. No question about it. Count me in tonight."
"Ahem..."
Xiao Guo’er turned to see A-Yue coughing lightly. Behind her stood the Second Protector, the Third Protector, and the Young Palace Master. She quickly scrambled to the side. "Greetings, Second Protector, Third Protector, Young Palace Master."
Nan Muxue looked at Chu Ruo with a cold face. "Come with me."
Chu Ruo looked confused. "Where to?"
"To the cliff to practice martial arts."
*The cliff? Practice? I don’t believe a word of it. You probably want to torment me to death.* She opened her mouth to refuse, but Nan Muxue turned and gave her a sharp, terrifying glare that swallowed her words. "Your disciple is coming! Right away!"
"You are sluggish and lazy. 'Diligence brings merit, play brings no gain.' Copy that sentence five hundred times tonight as punishment."
"Five hundred times?!"
Nan Muxue folded her hands behind her back. "Why? Is that too difficult for you?"
"Not at all, not at all." *Waaaah, my ghost story session is ruined. Damned Little Scorpion... no, no, I can’t curse her, or she’ll say she can read my mind and double the punishment. Sigh, I guess today is just not my day. Torture at the cliff now, and copying lines tonight. What a life.* She hung her head and followed.
"Chu Ruo," Duan Ning suddenly called out. "I have good news..."
Nan Muxue’s hand surged with energy, but she was a step too late.
"I wrote a letter to Yan’er to come to the branch—" *Whoosh!* A hidden projectile flew past. It was only meant to silence her, but the words were already out. Duan Ning dodged it with a quick shift of her body.
"Really!" Chu Ruo was overjoyed. Nan Muxue’s expression, however, was unreadable. "Move." She grabbed Chu Ruo and pulled her away.
She had grown up with Duan Ning and the others. Though they observed rank in public, their bond was deep; she wouldn't truly hurt Duan Ning over this. Besides, what would be her excuse? Just because she invited Yan’er? She knew Duan Ning; the girl had likely heard something from Liuli and decided to "help" in her own meddlesome way. She had been like this at the Palace, always trying to "help" Yunshuang and Yan’er, which was why she had been transferred to the branch sect in the first place.
Fine. The identity of "Yan’er" was a fabrication to begin with. Let things take their course. She didn't want to hide it anymore. Looking at Chu Ruo—her Ruo’er—a faint smile touched her lips. She didn't want to keep any more secrets from her.
A-Yue and Xiao Guo’er were about to leave to attend to their duties when Duan Ning called them. "You two, come with me."
"Ning’er," Yin Liuli asked, puzzled. "What are you doing?"
"You’ll see in a moment."
Duan Ning led them to a secluded spot, her expression turning grim. "Speak."
As mentioned before, the Hundred Flowers Palace had a strict hierarchy. The Third Protector’s sudden change in demeanor terrified the two girls, and they immediately dropped to their knees. "Protector, please forgive us!" Though they didn't know what they had done wrong, and though A-Yue was Nan Muxue’s personal maid (meaning other Protectors usually needed permission to punish her), they still had to kneel.
Duan Ning’s voice was cold. "Tell me everything you know about the Young Palace Master and Chu Ruo."
***
Hundred Flowers Palace.
Nan Gongyan was smiling to herself when Nan Yunshuang suddenly walked in. Her smile vanished instantly, and she moved to leave.
"What are you looking at that makes you so happy?"
"None of your business." Nan Gongyan gave her no face at all.
"A letter from Ning’er and the others, I presume."
It wasn't a question. Nan Gongyan didn't deny it. "So what if it is?"
"I heard there are men appearing on Yunwu Mountain?"
Nan Gongyan let out a cold, mocking laugh. "I say, Great Protector, your reach is getting a bit too long. Ning’er manages the branch sect; there’s no need for you to meddle."
"You..."
"If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving." Nan Gongyan turned to brush past her, but she noticed Nan Yunshuang was deathly pale, her lips devoid of color. Panic flared in her heart, and she stepped forward to support her. "Yunshuang, what’s wrong? Are you injured?"
"Cough, cough, cough..." Nan Yunshuang could no longer maintain her strong facade and began to cough violently. "It’s nothing. I’m going back to my room."
Nan Gongyan stamped her foot in worry. "I’ll help you back."
After taking her to her room, Nan Gongyan busied herself checking the injury and then personally brewing medicine. She did everything herself. By the time the medicine was administered, a long time had passed. "How is it? Feeling better?"
"Heh..."
"What are you laughing at?" she asked, annoyed. The woman was injured like this and still laughing.
"It’s been a long time since we sat together like this, hasn't it? How long has it been since you spoke to me so calmly?" Nan Yunshuang shook her head. "I can’t even remember."
Nan Gongyan looked away. "Don't you know the reason yourself?"
"Cough, cough, cough..."
"Alright, alright, stop talking. Just rest."
"Yan’er," Nan Yunshuang grabbed the hand of the person about to leave, her voice raspy. "Don't go. Sit with me a while longer."
Nan Gongyan looked back at the hand gripping her tightly and eventually sat back down.
"You’ve been away from the Palace often lately. Are you doing well outside? Has anyone bullied you?"
Nan Gongyan shook her head. *In the past, you were always behind me cleaning up my messes. Now, as the Fourth Protector, I have to stand on my own.* "I’m fine. It’s just that 'Flying Heaven Monkey' from last time—he got away. He was quite capable. If the disciples hadn't found me in time..." She still felt a lingering fear. "I might not be sitting here talking to you now."
"Don't worry," Nan Yunshuang leaned against the headboard. "It’s been dealt with."
In an instant, she understood. "You were injured because you helped me deal with him?" Nan Gongyan’s eyes grew moist. At least in some ways, Yunshuang hadn't changed. "Yunshuang..."
But the other woman didn't respond to that, instead changing the subject. "About the branch sect... why are there men there?"
*This Yunshuang, always so inquisitive.* "I only found out recently. There seems to be a gold vein on Yunwu Mountain."
"Are you certain?"
"Ning’er discovered it by accident in a cave. If it’s true, the Hundred Flowers Palace won't have to worry about funds ever again."
"This matter must not be leaked. Are those people reliable?"
"They seem to be laborers brought in from the city." Nan Gongyan saw the look on the other’s face and immediately realized what she was thinking. "You aren't planning to..."
Nan Yunshuang’s brows furrowed. "Only the dead keep secrets forever. Those people cannot leave the mountain. Once the work is done, leave none alive."
"Leave none alive... why have you become like this? Is that your catchphrase now?"
"The Hundred Flowers Palace has always been this way."
"No, Yunshuang," Nan Gongyan stood up abruptly. "You weren't like this before."
A bitter smile flashed across Nan Yunshuang’s face and vanished instantly. She replaced it with a smile reserved only for the woman before her. "It’s rare for us to sit and talk like this. Tell me about the others. You all haven't visited me in a long time."
Nan Gongyan sat back down. The woman was injured for her sake; if possible, she too wanted to return to how they used to be. "Fine. Today we won't talk about Palace business. Let’s just chat..."
***
A few days later...
At the cliffside, Chu Ruo looked at Nan Muxue, who was standing just a step away from a fatal fall. "What’s wrong? Why are you so angry?"
The other woman kept her hands behind her back. "Since you’ve been avoiding me at every turn, why come here now?" Ever since that night, this girl had been dodging her. It was laughable—shrinking back like a turtle, afraid to face the consequences of her own actions.
"I... I haven't..." Chu Ruo said, sounding incredibly unnatural.
"You haven't?" Nan Muxue let out a cold laugh and said no more.
*The Little Scorpion is angry again.* Chu Ruo was certain of it, but she couldn't stop her heart from aching for her. She moved closer. "I... I told you, Yan’er..."
"If you don't see Yan’er for a day, will you hide from your Master for a lifetime?"
"I just feel," she spoke her heart, "that it’s unfair to both you and Yan’er."
"Then what do you want? To see Yan’er, then call me over, and we all sit down to listen to your nonsense?"
Chu Ruo was speechless. "How is it nonsense? You..."
"Chu Ruo!" Before Chu Ruo could be startled by the angry shout, the other woman suddenly pulled her into a fierce embrace! She buried her head deep into Chu Ruo’s chest. *Is this really the Little Scorpion? This movement is so... so...* Then she heard her continue, "You are a fool!" *Well, this behavior is definitely cute.*
*The Little Scorpion can actually act like such a young girl? I don't think I did much to you that night—at most, it was an attempted... well, and you were the one who threw the bucket of cold water on it. Why does it feel like I’m the scoundrel who abandoned her and she’s the grieving wife?* She’d figure that out later; for now, she had to coax her. She patted her back. "It’s my fault, okay? My fault. There, there..." She tentatively used a soothing tone, and when there was no angry retort, she felt relieved. "Don't be angry. You’ve lost weight from all this brooding."
"In your heart, is there truly only Yan’er?"
Nan Muxue’s head remained buried in Chu Ruo’s chest, so Chu Ruo couldn't see her expression. "Of course there’s you, too." *What is wrong with this Little Scorpion?* Honestly, both she and Yan’er knew she liked them and treated them well, and they didn't usually seem angry, but sometimes they seemed very unhappy. They weren't the type to hold grudges, yet there was this strange tension she couldn't quite grasp.
While she was lost in thought, she was suddenly pushed back—nearly falling off the cliff. When she looked at Nan Muxue again, her expression had returned to normal. "Go back."
"Go back?" Chu Ruo was confused. "Where?"
"Anywhere!" She refused to look at her. "In short, I don't want to see you anymore."
Chu Ruo didn't like the sound of that. She shamelessly wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist from behind. "Don't be angry. Anger is bad for your health."
"Since you want to avoid your Master at night, I am granting your wish. Isn't that good?"
"Well, it’s not night yet..."
"Chu Ruo!"
"Alright, alright, I was wrong. I’ll listen to my Master from now on and won't make you angry again."
"Bullshit!" Only Chu Ruo could drive Nan Muxue to use such crude language. "Your promises are worth less than a fart." She had been just as solemn that night, and look what happened. Nan Muxue didn't even know what she was angry about. Was she angry that the girl refused to sleep with her? It sounded like a cosmic joke. So, what was she actually angry about?
*Did that really come out of your mouth?* Chu Ruo doubted her own ears. She quickly made up an excuse. "Well, I just saw that the weather is getting cold, and your body is so chilly. Holding you would definitely be colder, so I thought... hehe, it’s better to warm my own blanket."
"When it was summer and you were dripping with sweat, I didn't find you repulsive. You used me as a cooling fan for so long, and now you want to burn the bridge after crossing it?"
Chu Ruo was at a loss for words. "Then what do you want?"
"As Ruo’er said, the weather is getting cold. It’s time you showed some filial piety and warmed your Master up."
"You mean... you want me to be your bed-warmer?" She clutched her chest. "I’m telling you, I’d rather die than submit!"
"Do you have a choice?" The familiar threatening tone returned. "Besides, you promised me."
Chu Ruo shouldn't have asked when she had promised. Even more so, she shouldn't have been interrupted by Duan Ning’s voice approaching from the distance. "Little Ruo-Ruo! Come here! I’ve been waiting for you for so long!"
*Thump!*
"Help! The Young Palace Master is pushing her disciple off the cliff again! Waaaaah! Someone... help... me..."
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 若雪轩 | Ruoxue Pavilion | The name Nan Muxue chooses for the inn. |
| 雪若阁 | Xueruo Pavilion | The name Chu Ruo suggests as an alternative. |
| 飞天神猴 | Flying Heaven Monkey | A thief or antagonist mentioned by Nan Gongyan. |
| 金矿脉 | Gold vein / Gold mine | The secret discovery on Yunwu Mountain. |
| 勤有功戏无益 | Diligence brings merit, play brings no gain | A traditional pedagogical idiom. |
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Master, Spare My Life: A Disciple's Sweet Rebellion | Chapter 40 | Tangled Hearts | Novela.app | Novela.app
