The taxi turned into a narrow side street, leaving the clamor of the crowds behind. The road was tight, and the car moved slowly, the dim yellow glow of the streetlamps casting rhythmic flickers of light across the girl’s beautiful face. Her breathing was shallow and light as she leaned against Lin Yunsheng’s shoulder with her eyes closed, her hand still resting habitually in the other’s palm. Lin Yunsheng looked down at her; the alcohol hadn't worn off yet, and her cheeks were still dusted with a faint crimson. She looked so well-behaved.
An unexpected jolt from a bump in the road made them both sway. Lin Yunsheng quickly raised her right hand to steady Jinyue’s head, terrified she might fall. Once the ride smoothed out, she didn't pull her hand away. She remained like that, shielding Chen Jinyue, perfectly still.
Chen Jinyue felt herself being scorched awake by the heat of that palm. She opened her eyes blearily, and after a moment of regaining clarity, she looked up at Yunsheng. "You’re so hot..."
Lin Yunsheng let out a soft chuckle. Her fingers brushed against Jinyue’s cheek, giving it a gentle, playful squeeze before she finally withdrew her hand.
"Lin Yunsheng..." Her voice was thick and syrupy with sleep. She flipped her hand over in the other woman’s palm, threading her fingers through the gaps between Yunsheng’s.
"Hmm?"
"I like you..."
Lin Yunsheng tightened her grip on the hand she held, offering it as her response.
"Do you... do you like this gift?"
Lin Yunsheng looked down again at the scarf draped around her neck. A price tag of several thousand yuan was no small sum; Jinyue had said she’d emptied out years of savings just to buy this one piece to celebrate Yunsheng's promotion.
Naturally, she didn't really have a use for the scarf, and even if she did, she didn't seem to have any clothes that quite matched it. But her heart was so flooded with sweetness that she couldn't bring herself to utter a single word of reproach about the girl’s reckless spending. The taxi windows were rolled up tight and the heater was blasting, enough to make one want to undo a couple of shirt buttons, yet she couldn't bear to take the scarf off.
"Yes, I like it," she said, smiling softly at Chen Jinyue as she reached out to tidy the stray hairs on the girl's forehead.
Chen Jinyue had originally wanted to buy two scarves, but she hadn't had enough money, which had left her feeling a bit dejected. She figured she would just wait until she started earning her own money to buy one for herself; it wasn't like Lin Yunsheng was going anywhere.
Now, hearing her say she liked it, Jinyue felt as if fireworks were being set off in her heart. Her head was still spinning, but she already wanted to brag about her happiness to the moon hanging high in the night sky, to every streetlamp on the road, and even to the cold wind whistling past. She pushed herself up, staring at the other woman without blinking.
"..."
Before Lin Yunsheng could speak, Jinyue grabbed the scarf and planted a kiss squarely on her cheek.
The scarf was hers, she thought, and this person was hers too.
The scarf had been given away, and she wanted to give herself to Lin Yunsheng along with it.
The light kiss didn't linger for long. When she pulled away, she didn't forget to purse her lips at her. Now, she wasn't the only one in the car with a flushed face.
She looked at Lin Yunsheng and grinned foolishly.
***
Another dream.
Chen Jinyue had grown used to dreaming of the past. There were things she thought had long since blurred at the edges, yet in her dreams, she clearly remembered them better than anyone.
The gentle Lin Yunsheng; the Lin Yunsheng who never refused her; the Lin Yunsheng who stood at the school gates holding an umbrella, waiting for her to finish class. And... the Lin Yunsheng who had interrogated her...
She sat up, her head still aching slightly. Rubbing her temples, she tapped her phone screen. The piercing light forced her to squint; it was three in the morning.
She had been exhausted by jet lag before bed, yet now, because of that same jet lag, she found it impossible to fall back asleep.
She eventually got up and slid into her slippers. "It would be great if I could just delete these dreams," she muttered to herself, her mind filled with such nonsensical thoughts as she walked toward the kitchen for a glass of water.
But if she truly had the choice, she would probably be the first one to hesitate.
Before she reached the kitchen, she noticed the floor lamp in the living room was on. She blinked and saw Lin Yunsheng sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa. One hand was on her laptop keyboard while the other propped up her chin. Half a glass of red wine sat beside the computer.
The latter clearly hadn't expected to see her at this hour either, and for a moment, she didn't know what to say.
"Are you... hungry?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah." Chen Jinyue gave a ghost-led response and headed for the kitchen, feeling that the late-night atmosphere was inherently strange.
But the moment she opened the refrigerator, she regretted that "yeah." The container of yam and pork rib stew sat there perfectly composed on the top shelf. Aside from that, there was no other cooked food that looked edible.
Chen Jinyue rolled her eyes, thinking about how the boomerang always seemed to hit her in the head.
Naturally, Lin Yunsheng walked over at that moment. "I'll make some noodles for you. Is tomato and egg okay?" She pointedly avoided mentioning the dish in the fridge; neither of them brought it up.
Perhaps because of the dream she’d just had, Jinyue’s heart was still soft. She suddenly couldn't bring herself to bully Lin Yunsheng, nor did she want to resent her anymore. She hesitated for a second. "Just use that as a topping..." she said, gesturing toward the bowl of stew that had been neglected all night. Then, feeling awkward, she retreated to the living room.
But as she turned away, she distinctly heard the other woman let out a soft laugh.
Annoying! How was she still so easily satisfied?
Chen Jinyue mimicked her and sat on the rug. Even though the sofa was right behind her, she treated it as a mere decoration. The laptop screen was still glowing with several PDFs—Lin Yunsheng’s work files. She curled into a ball, hugging her legs, her eyes drifting toward the kitchen.
She thought that the night had its advantages. Under the cover of darkness, she could stare at her so wantonly, watching her loosely tied hair and her slender silhouette as she busied herself cooking a bowl of noodles for her.
*Is she really still wearing that scarf...*
Chen Jinyue felt a pang of distress, though she couldn't say why. The night wasn't all benefits; at the very least, she felt this sentimentality certainly wouldn't have surfaced during the day.
She buried her head in the crook of her arm. She thought about how this person had been exactly like this years ago, coaxing her through the night, giving her whatever she asked for. She shouldn't be at the point where a bowl of noodles made her want to cry.
This was all Lin Yunsheng’s fault.
The kitchen door opened. Lin Yunsheng carried the noodles out, grabbing a placemat on her way to the living room. She didn't ask Jinyue to eat at the dining table; instead, she brought it to the coffee table.
"Careful, it's hot..."
Then she sat back down in her original spot, shoulder to shoulder with Chen Jinyue. Acting as if nothing were wrong, she picked up her laptop and went back to work.
Chen Jinyue didn't speak either. She picked up her chopsticks and began to eat.
*Lin Yunsheng’s yam and pork ribs are the best in the entire world...* she thought.
Her mood was quite pleasant now. As long as it was night, aided by the dim light, she could pretend for a while that nothing had ever happened. Even if they were only sisters for these few minutes, she felt sated as she swallowed everything down along with the noodles.
She even felt like initiating a word or two with Lin Yunsheng, asking why she was working so late, or why she was drinking wine while working overtime...
But the universe follows the law of conservation of energy. The Chinese saying that "extreme joy turns to sorrow" exists for a reason. She wondered if she had stayed abroad for too long, having forgotten all the wisdom of her ancestors.
Someone was determined not to let her have peace—she saw a new WeChat message pop up in the top right corner of the screen. Sender: Jiang Haitao.
It was 3:30 AM.
Seeing the notification, Lin Yunsheng actually felt a flicker of "thief’s guilt." Her right hand froze on the trackpad, and she didn't click it. She turned to look at Jinyue, who made no effort to hide the fact that she was staring at that line of text.
"...We're working on a project together," she said softly, her tone carrying a trace of what sounded like panic.
"Then get back to work. Why are you explaining yourself to me?" Chen Jinyue felt her thorns bristling all over again. This night wasn't going to stay good any longer.
She looked at the few noodles left in the bowl, finished them all in one go, and then laid her chopsticks down neatly. She grabbed a tissue and wiped her mouth. "The noodles were good. Thanks, Sis Yunsheng." With that, she stood up to leave, not even wanting to bother taking the dishes to the kitchen.
Lin Yunsheng frowned, but she didn't say a word, nor did she try to stop her.
Jinyue didn't know where this temper came from, but it surged up all at once. She wondered why she had taken a long leave, why she had gambled everything to fly back, and why she was here being tortured by jet lag. She was sick of it.
"Xiao Jin..." Lin Yunsheng called her name softly just as she was about to walk out of the living room.
Everyone close to her called her Yueyue; only Lin Yunsheng called her Xiao Jin. She loved this nickname; she loved it most when Lin Yunsheng said it. But now, she was so annoyed she didn't want to hear another syllable.
"Lin Yunsheng." She turned around, fixing her gaze on the woman sitting on the floor.
"Are you still wearing that scarf I gave you?"
"Why did you make a point of taking it off when you came to pick me up?"
"What does your relationship with Jiang Haitao have to do with me?"
"You haven't moved on yet, have you?"
"Lin Yunsheng, I stopped caring about the past a long time ago."
She spat out the words in a flurry and turned to leave, giving the other woman no chance to respond. She saw Lin Yunsheng’s lips tremble at her words, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't squeeze out a single sound, staring at her in disbelief as if she had been torn apart by those words.
Suddenly, Jinyue felt better.
*Right. This is how the two of us are supposed to be.*
She reached up and wiped away her own tears in the dark.
***
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
江海涛 | Jiang Haitao | The man mentioned by Chen Fang as a potential suitor for Lin Yunsheng.
小谨 | Xiao Jin | A specific nickname for Chen Jinyue used only by Lin Yunsheng.
番茄鸡蛋面 | Tomato and egg noodles | A common, simple Chinese comfort food.
乐极生悲 | Extreme joy turns to sorrow | A Chinese idiom (chengyu) about the cyclical nature of fortune.
做贼心虚 | Thief's guilt / A guilty conscience | A Chinese idiom describing the feeling of being nervous because one has a secret or has done something wrong.
