A sudden chill settled in the hearts of those watching from the shadows. Their gazes grew complex as they observed the young man calmly eating his noodles.
Pei Shi’an also set down his chopsticks. Only Ye Zhao continued to eat, asking tonelessly, “Do you see this red mark on my brow?”
“It isn’t a birthmark or a decorative sigil. It is merely the brand left behind by that thing’s existence. It was because of its presence that I came to the Wei Kingdom, and why I helped Wei through its crises all those years ago.”
Pei Shi’an remained silent. Ye Zhao continued to eat, mouthful by mouthful, speaking as if to himself.
“I am no hero, nor do I wish to be revered as a god. I do not possess the heart of a saint who frets for the country and its people, nor do I have the mercy to deliver all living beings from suffering. In fact... I have even been a demon who brought ruin to worlds.”
As he spoke, Ye Zhao couldn't help but let out a small laugh. “I have saved people, and I have killed them. The guilty, the innocent, the meritorious, the blameless—countless white bones are piled beneath my feet, too many to number.”
“I have stood in peerless glory, hailed as a talent without equal in the world. I have also been as wretched as a dying dog, kicked and trampled into the mud. My heart was tempered long ago until it became as cold and hard as iron. I do not know how many fragments of humanity are left within me. Who would have thought that upon meeting again, I would actually still remember you?”
“Shi’an...” Ye Zhao exhaled a long, weary breath. “In your next life, if you ever meet someone with a strange mark on them, remember to stay far, far away.”
“That is not someone you can befriend. It is merely an existence destined to become a monster.”
Silence fell between them for a long time after his words faded.
Ye Zhao felt a touch of warmth on his forehead, and his entire body froze.
Pei Shi’an’s finger pressed gently against the red flame sigil at the center of Ye Zhao’s brow. He stroked it lightly before finally speaking. “This decoration suits you quite well. You are no monster; you are clearly a handsome young man. How can you speak of yourself in such a way?”
Ye Zhao forced a smile that looked more painful than weeping. Perhaps because he could no longer cry, he subconsciously tried to hide his sorrow behind a grin.
“That is because you do not know what the person sitting in front of you has done.”
Pei Shi’an asked with feigned interest, “What has he done?”
“He once treated the people of an entire world as puppets—emotionless, motionless, subject to his whims. He toyed with the life and death of others at will. To him, all life, ethics, and social order were nothing more than trivialities, to be followed or discarded based solely on whether he felt like obeying the laws of good and evil.”
Pei Shi’an watched him quietly, his expression neither sad nor joyful. Upon hearing this, he simply nodded. “I see.”
“He also once abandoned the citizens of an entire city for his own selfish ends. He watched as their country fell and their families were destroyed, remaining unmoved simply because he did not want to save them, did not want to act.”
“Mmh. That cannot be considered a great sin. It was merely inaction. There are many capable people in the world; why should he alone bear the full weight of the blame?”
The smile on Ye Zhao’s face grew wider, but the light shimmering in his eyes grew brighter—a kind of ecstatic joy that bordered on frenzy.
“Some forced him to save the people from fire and water, forced him to bring prosperity to the masses! But instead of performing acts of kindness, he inflicted evil upon the world. He slaughtered the innocent until blood flowed like rivers. He brought calamity to nations and harm to the people, extinguishing all human desire until he became the most loathsome existence in the world!”
...
Pei Shi’an looked at him, unable to speak further. It wasn't that he had nothing to say, but rather that there were too many words of comfort, yet no place to begin.
He still offered no reproach. Instead, enduring a dull ache in his heart, he asked, “Why did he become like that?”
*Why?*
Ye Zhao dazed for a long time before slowly recalling the reasons from the past. He said softly, “Because once, he helped a small nation end its wars, only to be poisoned to death in the main hall by the newly enthroned young emperor the very next day. Because others claimed he was rebelling, and everyone believed it. Naturally, not a single person pleaded for his life.”
“There was another time, slightly better than the last. Someone did plead for him, but in the end, they only ended up accompanying him to the Yellow Springs.”
“He has died many times. He died on the battlefield, died by assassination; he died and came back, lived and died again. Occasionally, he could save a country and its people, living a life of glory; other times, he was powerless to turn the tide, and his efforts ended in failure.”
“He was always busy, always working. Until one time, he went to save a country that was about to be seized by an enemy state. That country was so thoroughly corrupt that even with all his strength, he could not save it.”
He paused, suddenly asking the man before him, “Can you guess what end he met that time?”
Gazing into those pitch-black, deep eyes—like a corner of an abyss revealed, terrifyingly silent—Pei Shi’an opened his lips. His fingers, resting on his knees, were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white.
“...I cannot guess. Why don't you tell me?”
“A miserable death. Actually, come to think of it, there weren't many times he died with dignity, but...” Ye Zhao spoke dismissively, his movements suddenly slowing. He looked down at the soup in his bowl, but his gaze seemed to fall into an unknown void.
“It’s just that after the country fell, the hundreds of soldiers who died with him... they shed too much blood.”
“Thousands of commoners—each of them carved a wound into those soldiers' bodies to trade for their own lives. In the end, everyone in the city survived, except for the man tied to the gallows. His body had been carved until nothing remained but a skeletal frame; not a single piece of whole flesh was left.”
“He died without a whole corpse. His flesh and blood were all fed to the dogs, giving those beasts a full meal.”
A cold wind seemed to blow from the soles of one's feet to the top of the head, chilling the very heart. Ye Zhao narrowed his eyes, sighing wistfully, “The people of the world... they all want to live. But only when these 'deserving' people die can they truly live.”
...
*Thump, thump-thump—*
One beat, two beats. In the deathly silence, the only sound left was the rapid thrumming of a heart within a chest.
Pei Shi’an stared fixedly at the man before him, his face pale. After his voice failed him for a moment, he finally managed to ask, “Among those people... was there also you?”
Though he tried his best to remain calm, the slight tremor in his voice betrayed his inner turmoil.
As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He shouldn't have asked.
Tianshu did not need pity, nor did he care for the sympathy of others. He was merely recounting a story from the past.
Ye Zhao did not speak, nor did he look at him. He didn't answer a single word, remaining silent, yet that silence was an answer in itself.
Pei Shi’an’s throat felt constricted. It took a long time to suppress the trembling in his voice. He wanted to ask, “...Did it hurt?”
But the words reached his lips and could not be uttered.
“He should hate the world,” Pei Shi’an said.
The corners of Ye Zhao’s mouth lifted into a smile. “Yes. So he once took revenge on the entire world like a madman, seeking vengeance against all people.”
“But...”
“It was wrong.”
Ye Zhao looked at the withered leaves drifting in the wind. After a moment of silence, he spoke. “...It was useless.”
“When the things you do cannot be understood by anyone, they lose all meaning. They can only be categorized as a mistake.”
Having finished, Ye Zhao picked up the bowl and drank the last drop of noodle soup. “So, in the very end, he woke up again. To be a normal person, to do the things a normal person would do.”
“That was the only path he could take. In the end, he let others go, and others let him go.”
“The noodles you made don't taste good. Next time, let the stall owner do it,” Ye Zhao suggested with a smile. His expression had returned to its usual indifference, as if the protagonist of that tragic story had nothing to do with him.
Pei Shi’an glanced indifferently at the empty bowl. “This was my first time cooking.”
“Oh, then your skill isn't bad. Worthy of praise.” Ye Zhao immediately changed his tune, his attitude shifting naturally.
Pei Shi’an sat upright and asked calmly, “So, should I call you Ye Zhao, or Tianshu?”
Ye Zhao paused, then smiled. “Ye Zhao. Tianshu... I stopped being him long ago.”
Pei Shi’an caught the underlying meaning in his words. Half-guessing and half-uncertain, he asked, “You won?”
“Yes. I won,” Ye Zhao answered with certainty.
Madness was useless; struggling bore no fruit. There was only submission.
After tumbling through countless worlds of power struggles and wars, fighting until he was drenched in blood and his heart was riddled with holes, he had finally won his freedom and completed the system's missions.
The system finally set him free, fulfilling its original promise to let him live once more.
And so, his memories were sealed, and he was placed into a plane within one of the worlds he had previously traversed to live again as Ye Zhao.
He just hadn't expected that after struggling and fighting through countless planes for so many years, upon his rebirth, his old friends would still be here.
“It’s good to see you again.”
“It’s also good that I haven't forgotten you.”
Ye Zhao’s two "it's good"s made the noses of Pei Shi’an and the others who had hurried over sting with emotion.
“That’s wonderful. Old Chancellor Pei is unharmed. As long as he’s fine, it’s fine...”
Minister Song patted his chest with a look of immense relief.
Heaven knows, when he heard that Xie Mingyuan was the mastermind who had been hiding among them all this time, he felt his whole world collapsing!
But upon learning that Ye Zhao had recovered his memories, his heart soared into the clouds. The great joy following the great shock had left his mind a complete blank until now!
“Tian—!”
Just as he was about to shout, Wei Feng suddenly spoke to stop him. “Minister Song.”
“Eh?” Minister Song turned to look at him in confusion.
Wei Feng glanced at Minister Song, Wei Xiyang, and the others, then looked at the old man and the youth sitting at the noodle stall not far away. His expression was uncharacteristically somber. “Do you want him to be Tianshu, or Ye Zhao?”
...
The group paused, reflecting on the question.
Wei Xiyang, however, had no desire to ponder such things and walked straight forward.
To him, the question was meaningless. Tianshu was Ye Zhao, and Ye Zhao was Tianshu. In his eyes, they were the same person.
“I... didn't Lord Tianshu remember everything?” Minister Song asked, puzzled. He couldn't understand why Wei Feng would ask that. Was Wei Xiyang lying when he said Tianshu had remembered the past??
Seeing the confusion and speculation on Minister Song’s face, Wei Feng suddenly found himself unable to say anything more. He shifted his gaze to the three people nearby.
Perhaps only in their eyes was Tianshu not just "Tianshu," but a human being.
“What’s so bad... about being a dandy?”
Wei Feng suddenly let out a soft sigh. The words Ye Zhao had once said to him were now spoken from his own lips, filled with infinite emotion.
“The world deems the gilded youth as lesser than the lords of state. But years of glory are but wine poured out; when the cold moon wests, the hair is white with fate.”
“Why has Master Wei suddenly started reciting doggerel?”
The group discussed in low voices. Minister Qian and State Uncle Yin glanced at each other, then simultaneously looked away.
“Did something happen?” Minister Qian asked.
Wei Feng leaned against the stone wall, looking up at the gray sky in the distance. His expression was neither complex nor melancholy, yet both. After a long while, he was heard saying, “It’s just... I suddenly understood the meaning of the phrase 'all life is suffering.'”
With that, he walked out of the alley alone, heading slowly toward the imperial palace.
???
The others remained behind, bewildered.
Ye Zhao said something that made Wei Xiyang jump in anger. Accompanied by Ye Zhao’s loud laughter, Wei Xiyang swung a fist at him, only to be blocked by Ye Zhao’s hand.
With a smile in his eyes, Ye Zhao noticed the group hiding at the mouth of the alley whispering about something. He grinned and called out, “Are you lot hiding there to grow mushrooms?”
Their faces flushed, and the murmuring stopped instantly.
From a distance, they bowed to Ye Zhao and then vanished in an instant.
“Why didn't they come over?”
“Probably because they’re afraid you’ll actually make them grow mushrooms.”
Pei Shi’an spoke calmly. Only then did Ye Zhao remember that he really had made them grow mushrooms once.
Back in the day, when they were young, they often eavesdropped. Once, Tianshu had a whim to prank them and actually made them grow mushrooms, nearly driving those outstanding young officials of the court to baldness from worry.
“Hahahaha!” Ye Zhao was delighted and laughed out loud. He felt as if a thousand-pound weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
“Hey, Stinky Donkey Three, when spring comes, how about I take you out for a stroll?” Ye Zhao said mischievously, his eyes curving with laughter.
Wei Xiyang’s face was as black as the bottom of a pot. He suppressed his voice, gritting out every word: “You absolute ancient turtle! Are you walking a dog?!”
“No, no, not a dog,” Ye Zhao said, the smile on his face refusing to fade as he added slowly, “...walking a donkey.”
“YE ZHAO!!!!”
“Aye, I hear you.” Wei Xiyang threw a kick, but Ye Zhao laughed and twisted his waist, leaping away as light as a swallow, retreating a good distance in a few bounds.
Standing opposite him, Ye Zhao smiled. “When this winter passes, we’ll travel the world and make the four seas our home. We agreed back then to see all the sights of the world. I’m back now, so you’re not allowed to back out!”
Wei Xiyang, fists clenched, did not chase him. He stood in place, a flash of complexity crossing his face. As if his anger hadn't quite dissipated, he looked away and said gruffly, “Do you think everyone is like you, dragging their feet? We should have gone long ago.”
Pei Shi’an looked at him and said unhurriedly, “A gentleman’s agreement is not to be broken.”
Ye Zhao smiled. Fortunately, he wasn't too late.
Fortunately, they had never truly left...
***
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
--- | --- | ---
赤焰红纹 | Red Flame Sigil | The mark on Ye Zhao's forehead representing his past existence.
天枢 | Tianshu | Ye Zhao's former identity/title; literally "Heavenly Pivot" (Dubhe).
驴三臭 | Stinky Donkey Three | A derogatory nickname for Wei Xiyang.
众生皆苦 | All life is suffering | A Buddhist concept (Dukkha) reflecting the inherent pain of existence.
千年老王八 | Ancient turtle | Literally "thousand-year-old turtle"; a common insult for someone old or stubborn.
纨绔膏粱 | Gilded youth / Dandy | Refers to wealthy, idle young men from noble families.
黄泉 | Yellow Springs | The underworld/realm of the dead in Chinese mythology.
Enjoying the story? Rate this novel:
Once, I Was a Legend | Chapter 103 | The Monster and the Man | Novela.app | Novela.app
