Back at the base, I spotted a black Lincoln parked outside the main gate from a distance. Old Hu was there, bidding farewell to the car’s owner. I wondered if it was the same one I’d seen at Fushan Villa—after all, it wasn't a common model. As we circled around, I saw I was right; it was that same mixed-race guy in the white shirt and black trousers!
"What’s he doing here?" I thought. Talk about a small world.
Ling Xiao stared in that direction without a word. We stood in the shade of the trees by the road. As for me, I simply didn't want to run into Old Hu and get a lecture, but I couldn't figure out why Ling Xiao was lingering. I chose to believe he was just keeping me company. While he watched the gate, I watched him. His eyes were hooded by the shadows of the leaves, flickering with a faint, fierce intensity, while his jawline was caught in the sunlight, its silhouette perfectly defined. Feeling like a bit of a stalker, I forced myself to look away.
Once the mixed-race man got into his car, Ling Xiao turned and left.
I followed him, sensing something strange in his mood. But after walking for a bit, the Siberian chill radiating from him seemed to be neutralized by the surrounding sunlight. "Do you know him?" he asked, his voice as calm as still water.
"No. I just happened to see him while I was waiting for you at Fushan Villa," I replied.
Ling Xiao nodded and fell silent again.
"Is he involved in those underground fencing matches too?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. The guy was tall, long-legged, and fit; I wouldn't be surprised if he was a fencer. Then again, he looked like old money—hardly the type to deign to participate in those kinds of matches.
Ling Xiao pondered for a moment before saying, "Qiao Mai, it’s nice when you just talk instead of constantly asking questions."
"Fine, fine! No more questions! Hey, what did you think of that song? Next time I’ll take you to one of their concerts. They’re wild, really fun..."
***
The news that the "Lincoln Man" had visited the Zishan Base spread like wildfire. Rumor had it that Coach Hu had personally received him, accompanied him for meals, chats, and a tour of the grounds—all while wearing a sycophantic grin that completely discarded his dignity. Gao Dabang, the Bill Gates of fencers, quickly tracked down the man’s identity online.
"Li Rui." Gao Dabang snapped his fingers and spun his chair around. The mixed-race man’s photo was displayed prominently on the computer screen. "The future head of Lilong Electronics. Word is he’s been managing their US branch and only returned to the country this year." He rubbed his chin, looking puzzled. "But why would he come to the base to see Old Hu? And you all saw it—Old Hu was practically groveling. Tsk, what a disgrace to the fencing team."
"I bet Old Hu is getting something out of it," Lao Qi analyzed confidently. "The team has been looking for sponsors forever. If he can land Lilong Electronics, he’s hit the jackpot. It’s worth losing a little face for."
Gao Dabang rolled his eyes. "Where’s your integrity? We’re athletes, not street performers." He then shot me a disdainful look. "And we certainly don't sell our bodies!"
What was his problem? I’d only been staring at the photo for a few extra seconds. I was *thinking*, okay? Did they think I’d fallen for him? Was I, Qiao Mai, the kind of person who swoons over every handsome face? Unbidden, the image of Ling Xiao’s elegant profile under the trees flashed through my mind. *Besides,* I thought, *my aesthetic is very Eastern.*
***
Ling Xiao usually worked his part-time job at the bar in the evenings. Since it was still early afternoon, I assumed he’d be at the training hall. However, when I arrived, I only found Zhang Ting practicing alone.
"Just you?" I asked, looking around.
"Yeah," Zhang Ting said, looking around with me. "Are you looking for someone?"
Thinking Ling Xiao might have left early, I smiled. "It’s nothing. I’m here to practice too." I walked over and patted the target. "Practicing against this won't do much. I’ll be your sparring partner."
Zhang Ting’s look of sheer, flattered surprise made me feel a bit sheepish.
"Is that... okay?" Zhang Ting’s voice was as thin as a mosquito’s buzz.
"We’re teammates, why wouldn't it be?" I said. "I’ll go change next door. Be serious when we start—attack me with everything you’ve got. I’ll treat it as defensive training."
Ling Xiao was undergoing the harsh baptism of underground matches; I couldn't afford to slack off on my end. Much as I liked him, I didn't want to lose on the strip. That "One-Sword Style" of his—I’d break it sooner or later!
***
While heading to the cafeteria for dinner, I unexpectedly received a call from Yi Taitai. I’d been meaning to find a time to invite him out for a meal anyway; after all, he deserved a lot of credit for the breakthrough in my relationship with Ling Xiao.
I had just let out an enthusiastic "Hello!" when a loud, visceral "BLEARGH—" erupted from the phone. The sound of someone vomiting was so vivid it made Lao Qi and Gao Dabang, who were sitting across from me, drop their chopsticks in disgust.
"Hey, Yi Taitai, what’s going on?" I asked.
The background was noisy. After a long pause, Yi Taitai’s dazed voice came through: "Ah... nothing... wrong number..." and he hung up.
I was baffled. As I ate, the more I thought about it, the more unsettled I felt. I asked Lao Qi, "Hey, if someone calls you sounding incoherent and tearful, do you think they’re about to commit suicide?"
Lao Qi spat out a mouthful of chicken soup. "What the hell goes on in that head of yours? People don't just go around killing themselves all the time. Do you think you live in a novel?" He glanced at my phone. "A friend?"
I nodded.
"If you’re worried, just call back and ask."
After dinner, I returned to the dorm and dialed Yi Taitai again. This time, a strange male voice answered, sounding extremely annoyed. "Who is this?"
I said I was looking for Yin Taiyi. "He just called me. Is he okay?"
The man sounded even more irritated. "He’s not dead yet!" Then he rudely cut the line.
...Fine. I guessed Yi Taitai was probably at that same gay bar from last time. Since it was on the way to the bar where Ling Xiao worked, it wouldn't take much time to stop by and check on him.
Yi Taitai wasn't inside the bar. I asked a waiter, who confirmed he’d been there, got dead drunk, and left with two men.
Excuse me? Two men?! "Why didn't you stop them? They’re clearly taking advantage of him!"
The waiter looked at me like I was making a fuss over nothing. "He went with them willingly. How am I supposed to stop him? What’s the big deal? You watch too many movies."
I knew Yi Taitai wasn't the type to just hook up with random people. "Did they say where they were going?"
"No idea, but they only just left."
I rushed outside. Guided by what I can only call "gay intuition," I immediately spotted a suspicious black car parked by the curb. *Dammit, are they trying to have a threesome in the car?! How degenerate!*
Wait, where did I even learn the term "threesome"?!
The car was a black Nissan. A wasted Yi Taitai was slumped in the back seat while two sleazy guys were unbuckling their belts.
I pounded on the window, startling them. One of them rolled down the glass and told me to get lost.
This was my moment to channel some "boyfriend energy." "I’m his boyfriend! Who gave you permission to kidnap him?!" I reached through the window, shoved past the two creeps, and forced the door open. I shouted at Yi Taitai in the back, "Get out of the car! You unvirtuous man!"
I was halfway through dragging Yi Taitai out while the two men were still trying to pull him back when suddenly, Yi Taitai—who had been acting like a dead fish—lunged toward the car window and let out a massive "OAWU" as he vomited.
For a moment, the only sound was the rhythmic *splatter-splatter* of vomit hitting the ground. When the sound finally stopped, I looked down to see my carefully chosen shirt now radiating the warm stench of alcohol and bile.
A few minutes later, the two men finally drove off. I heard one say to the other with genuine conviction, "They’re definitely a couple. Look, he puked all over him and the guy didn't even flinch. I’m almost sick myself!" The other guy didn't forget to yell back at us, "If you’re gonna fight, do it at home! Don't come out here and mess with people!"
I turned to glare at the culprit crouching by the roadside. I rummaged through the pockets of Yi Taitai’s flashy outfit and pulled out a Burberry handkerchief. Yi Taitai looked up at me with bleary eyes, reaching out. "Don't... Xiao Mai... I’ll buy you tissues... don't use that..."
Right in front of him, I used that luxury handkerchief to scrub my shirt within an inch of its life.
***
I bought Yi Taitai a sobering drink and found a restroom to wash the vomit off my shirt, then hung it on a roadside railing to dry. We sat by the curb in the cold wind. "Alright, talk. What happened? Why were you trying to throw your life away like that?"
Yi Taitai had sobered up a bit. He propped his head up, watching the neon lights and the passing cars.
"Qiao Mai, I really envy you. See, I knew I was gay from a very young age. In middle school, I liked a senior a year above me, but I only dared to like him in secret. Once, I hid one of his gym shirts, and someone found out. Word got around that I was gay. From then on, everyone mocked me. Those who didn't mock me just silently stopped talking to me. But that would never happen to you. Anyone can tell you’ve never suffered for this sort of thing..."
I really hadn't. It was probably because I was so shamelessly "unserious." People around me never took me for a "gay guy"; even if I said I was, they usually thought I was joking.
Yi Taitai continued, "Maybe it’s because I’m what people call a 'sissy.' It’s obvious. Honestly, I could handle that, but when that senior found out, he started avoiding me too. He thought being liked by me was disgusting... But even then, I still liked him. I thought I was the one in the wrong, not him. My mistake was being a sissy gay boy. If I were a girl, even if he didn't like me, would he have treated me like a leper?"
I wanted to say he hadn't done anything wrong, but thinking about it, the senior wasn't necessarily "wrong" either. I put myself in his shoes, imagining if I confessed to Ling Xiao and he found the idea of being with me disgusting. The empathy hit me like a physical blow. I’m twenty-two and it would still hurt this much; Yi Taitai was just a teenager back then. How did he bear it? I struggled to find the right words to comfort him, but I couldn't help wondering how Ling Xiao would react if he knew my feelings. The thought terrified me.
Yi Taitai went on, "I finally made it to graduation, hoping to find an environment where people were like me. Later, I became a makeup artist. I never told you that, did I?"
No, he hadn't. A makeup artist? I looked him up and down. "I bet the makeup you do is incredibly feminine... I definitely don't want you doing mine."
"I do makeup for female celebrities! Stop making everything about you!" Yi Taitai punched my arm, though it was a weak, soft blow.
I let him hit me, thinking that with those "flowery" punches, he really was a classic "sissy." But... he was a pretty cute one. Why did everyone treat him like that?
Exhausted, Yi Taitai hugged his knees. "Later, I met my current boyfriend in that circle. Strictly speaking, he was my mentor—a very famous stylist. Have you heard of the movie *Five Swordsmen*?"
"Yeah, those hairstyles were unforgettable," I said. "I called them the 'Five Lightning Strikes.'"
Yi Taitai glared at me. "If you’d said that to me back then, I would’ve slapped your mouth shut." He sighed. "He’s a good man. I was almost harassed by an assistant director on set once, and he stepped in to save me."
"Yeah," I said. "Just like I saved you just now."
"How is that the same? He was way more handsome when he saved me!"
"I could’ve been handsome too if you hadn't puked on me!"
Yi Taitai burst out laughing. "Fine, fine, it’s all my fault. I didn't realize you had such strong boyfriend energy. Ling Xiao wouldn't be getting a bad deal if he ended up with you."
"Damn right," I said. "Tell me about this boyfriend."
"Where was I? Right, he’s a good man. He even warned me that the industry is messy—that many people say they like you but just want to play around. He told me not to take things too seriously. Later, when we started dating, he was very good to me. Sometimes he’d say my serious personality was a flaw, but I didn't think much of it then."
"What’s wrong with being serious?" I interjected.
Yi Taitai looked at me. "Do you remember the first time I met you at the bar?"
"Of course. You were captivated by my athletic aura and came over to hit on me."
"I did like you. You looked clean, sunny, a bit dim-witted—a real 'living treasure' of a youth. But I wasn't actually interested in you that way. At the time, he and I had a fight. I felt like he was interested in someone else. Since he said I was too serious, I thought I’d try *not* being serious for once. I went out to play the field, wanting to see if he’d care if he saw me like that..."
Seeing Yi Taitai’s heartbroken expression, I guessed the result wasn't great.
"I only thought he was getting colder toward me, but..." Yi Taitai sniffled. "I never imagined that while he was flirting with that person, he actually fell for them..."
I thought to myself that the man hadn't been wrong—in a circle like that, if you’re the one who’s serious, you lose.
Yi Taitai paused for a long time before slowly saying, "At first, I just wanted to use you to make him jealous. But after getting to know you... you’re childish, but you’re so clean, so full of positive energy. Sometimes I see my old self in you. I felt like I should go back to being the person who takes relationships seriously. I liked that version of myself better. I thought he would like that version of me better too, but... I didn't expect it to end like this."
Yi Taitai’s face crumpled. He looked like he wanted to cry but was desperately holding it back. I didn't know how to comfort him. Was being serious about feelings a bad thing? But if you’re serious and the other person isn't, you’re the only one who gets hurt. Looking at how miserable he was, for a second, I wished he *hadn't* been so serious.
"Am I just stupid?" Yi Taitai asked. "Even if I’m this sad, he won't care. Why am I still so miserable? He’s not worth it!"
"It’s good that he did this to you," I said.
Yi Taitai stared at me, completely bewildered.
"Because now you have a chance."
"...A chance for what?"
"To find someone who *is* worth being serious about." I looked into his eyes, my voice earnest.
Heaven knows my mind was filled with Ling Xiao as I said that! Hearing Yi Taitai’s story gave me an reckless urge to love him with everything I had, because I knew Ling Xiao was worth it. He would be more serious about his feelings than anyone. That’s just who he is. To be loved by someone like that... it would be the blessing of a lifetime, wouldn't it?
"What’s wrong with being serious?" I said. "You did nothing wrong. He’s the one who shouldn't have messed with you. Luckily, you’re still young. You’re only thirty, you still have time!"
"I’m twenty-eight!"
"Oh, even better! You look two years younger than you are. Go find someone reliable. Vet them from every angle until you can officially stamp them as 'worthy,' and then cherish them!"
Yi Taitai stared at me for a long while before saying, half-laughing, half-crying, "You’re so weird. This isn't a sports match. Why are you getting so fired up?"
"That 'Lightning Strike' guy told you being serious is bad, yet he chose someone serious like you. Who wants someone who isn't serious about love?" I got even more worked up. "Yi Taitai, you’re worth more than him! One day you’ll find someone who cherishes you!"
Yi Taitai studied me. "This feels like a Japanese drama."
I pumped my fist. "Ganbatte! Obasan!"
"Ling Xiao is so unlucky to have attracted a psycho like you..." Yi Taitai smiled at me. "It’s a shame. If only I could fall for you. Ling Xiao is so brooding, he definitely wouldn't be able to compete with me."
Seeing him smile relieved me. "Feeling better?"
"Yeah. You can be a real jerk sometimes, but I just imagined Ling Xiao railing you until you couldn't speak, and suddenly I feel much better."
I spat out my Coke.
"What are you blushing for? Didn't you claim things were moving fast with him?"
"Not *that* fast. He only just told me about his matches." And that was only after I poked him ten times for every one response...
"For someone with Ling Xiao’s personality, telling you that much is already a big deal." Yi Taitai patted my head like a seasoned veteran.
I was still worried, so I asked, "Do you know how much he gets paid per match?"
"What? I thought you had him handled. He didn't tell you?"
"Talking about money hurts the relationship. I don't want to bring up things that hurt."
"True. You guys don't have much of a foundation yet. He probably thinks the money from one match is worth more than his 'friendship' with you."
"Don't underestimate the bond between men, you sissy..."
Yi Taitai scoffed. "What bond? You think what you have for Ling Xiao is 'friendship'?"
...Sigh. I looked up at the sky. How did it feel like the whole world knew I was gay except for Ling Xiao?
"Why can't it be?" I said. "If I can't get him, I’ll be his best bro for life!"
Yi Taitai shook his head. "Too young. If you can still calmly be his 'best bro' after failing to get him, it just means you didn't like him enough. Anyway, let’s not talk about that. I don't know the exact price for fencing, but I know a guy who does underground boxing. He bought a car and a house after just two years. It’s not just about the entry fees; it’s the betting. The bets are where the real money is. It’s all wealthy guys, and they bet huge. If you make the boss enough money, getting a million or so isn't impossible. That underground fencing match Ling Xiao is in has been even hotter than boxing lately. The money is definitely even better."
"Hotter than underground boxing?" I was shocked. "Do those rich guys even understand fencing?"
"What’s there to understand? You think it’s like your official matches, all polite and regulated? These underground matches are all about the thrill and the adrenaline. There are no rules. The fighters don't wear metal masks. If you don't want to show your face, you’re only allowed an eye mask. You wear thin gear—no metal protectors or anything. And the swords are specially made. If you hit hard enough, they really cut!"
I felt a chill run down my spine. "Are you serious?"
"Why would I lie? As long as you don't hit a vital organ or kill someone, the referee won't stop it. Hell, the referee is just for show!"
"Then... how do they decide who wins?"
"Same as boxing. A ten-count or a KO. But it’s not easy to get a KO in fencing. The two matches I saw both ended in KOs—one guy was literally forced off the stage. Oh, and I think surrendering counts as a loss, but nobody wants to surrender. If you surrender, you don't get paid. The whole match is a waste. In your official matches, the exchanges are fast, right? But underground matches are pure wars of attrition. Those fighters might not be as skilled as national team members, but they’re savage. If one guy finally KOs the other at the end, the whole crowd goes wild! Because it’s so damn hard to do..."
I realized he was right. In regular fencing, forcing someone off the strip isn't that rare. Since the rule is that hitting a target area scores a point, you can't just stand there and take it; you have to retreat and defend, and it’s easy to step out of bounds. But underground matches had none of those rules. It was a raw drain on energy and stamina. If you faced a physically powerful, savage brute, even Ling Xiao’s fierce, continuous "One-Sword Style" might not be enough to take them down.
"I’ve only seen two matches. A wealthy gay friend of mine invited me," Yi Taitai said. "Out of the four fighters, only one finished the match without bleeding. Everyone else was covered in a mix of blood and sweat. Tsk tsk..."
"The only one who didn't bleed..."
"Was Ling Xiao. He wore an eye mask during the match, but my wealthy friend had connections, so we snuck backstage afterward. That’s when I saw him take the mask off. He’s handsome enough normally, but right after a match? He was so hot it made my legs weak! We didn't know his name then. My friend was interested in him and wanted to pursue him. He used his connections to ask if they could grab a late-night snack, but Ling Xiao ignored him, obviously..."
I listened to Yi Taitai’s chatter in a daze. I knew underground matches were illegal and dangerous, but I hadn't realized *how* dangerous. After hearing this, I didn't want him to fight another match, let alone another quarter’s worth. No wonder he insisted on long-distance running every morning. This "war of attrition" style was unheard of; it required more than just explosive power—it required superhuman stamina and endurance.
Another quarter... one match a week meant at least twelve more matches. This was no joke. I knew many people who fought underground; even if they were lucky enough to avoid serious injury, they ended up with lifelong disabilities. Just because Ling Xiao had fought before and survived didn't mean he was safe.
I was deep in thought as I hailed a taxi for Yi Taitai. I was about to turn around and head for the subway back to the base when it suddenly hit me—
Crap! I was supposed to meet Ling Xiao at the bar!
***
**Glossary**
