This time, I could finally accompany Ling Xiao to his match out in the open. We had agreed to meet at the station at the foot of the mountain at six-thirty. After eating and changing, I rushed to the station, arriving at six-oh-five. There were only two middle-aged women waiting for the bus, both staring at me with peculiar expressions. I’ve never liked being the passive subject of scrutiny, so I struck up a conversation. Eventually, I helped them onto their bus and waved as it pulled away, only to hear a voice behind me.
"Who are you waving at?"
I spun around with a start, the words *Can’t you make some noise when you walk?* dying in my throat. Ling Xiao stood before me, looking refined in black-rimmed glasses, a white shirt, and black trousers. Aside from that one distant glimpse at Fushan Villa, I hadn’t seen him wearing glasses up close. It was like seeing Zhang Qiling in a suit—the kind of sight that makes you forget to blink.
"Oh," I said. "Just those ladies waiting for the bus. I was just chatting while I waited for you."
Ling Xiao walked over, his expression unreadable. "Can you strike up a conversation with every stray dog and cat on the street?" He stopped beside me, his gaze sweeping over my outfit. "Why are you dressed like that?"
I looked down at my "Bumblebee" getup. "I bought this specifically for last time. It was expensive; it’d be a waste not to wear it. Does it look good?"
I tugged at the collar of my jacket, regretting the question as soon as it left my mouth. This was far too difficult a question for someone as socially inept as Ling Xiao. I didn't even think it looked good myself, so how was he supposed to answer?
To my surprise, Ling Xiao only offered a quiet "Mm."
What was "Mm" supposed to mean? Was his "Mm" some kind of universal answer?
Another bus arrived, the row of polished windows reflecting the fiery sunset and the two lonely silhouettes of Ling Xiao and me at the station. I was wearing sunglasses, dressed like a bit of a peacock, looking every bit the playboy, while Ling Xiao was bare-faced and looked like a literal god. I couldn't help but think that this scene looked exactly like I was hitting on him. I accidentally let out a laugh.
Ling Xiao said nothing, only letting out a soft sigh beside me.
Usually, when going to Fushan Villa for a match, Song Guo would drive Ling Xiao. But today, instead of Song Guo, a flashy four-seater Porsche pulled up.
The luxury car stopped in front of us and the window rolled down. The driver was Li Rui. Sitting next to him was a girl with short, curly hair and sunglasses. A dimple danced at the corner of her mouth as she peered out curiously.
The moment Ling Xiao saw Li Rui, his jaw tightened. Li Rui greeted me instead. "We meet again."
I had no choice but to politely ask what brought him there. Li Rui explained they had just come from the hospital; someone in Song Guo’s family had been in a car accident, so Song Guo had rushed there, asking Li Rui to pick up Ling Xiao in his stead.
Seeing Ling Xiao’s dark expression, I was terrified he’d tell Li Rui to get lost. I spoke up quickly. "Mr. Li, I’m so sorry, but we actually have something else to take care of back at the base. Why don't you go ahead? We'll just call a car to the villa later."
"You can't get into Fushan Villa with a hired car," the girl in the passenger seat said. She hooked her sunglasses down, smiling at us. "Are you planning to hike up the mountain?"
*Listen here, little girl,* I thought, *don't think I don't know you're staring at the guy behind me just because you're wearing shades!*
"Haha, you hit the nail on the head," I said, taking the out. "We were planning to hike up as a pre-match warm-up!" I arched an eyebrow, silently telling them to be on their way.
"Fine then, I won't force you." Li Rui glanced at Ling Xiao. "It seems you won't listen to my advice anyway. See you at the match." He reached out and handed over a card. "You might need this."
Ling Xiao didn't move, so I took it. It was a VIP access card for Fushan Villa. "What about you?"
"He gets in with his face," the girl laughed, sliding her sunglasses back up and waving goodbye.
***
As expected, the taxi wasn't allowed into Fushan Villa, so Ling Xiao and I had to walk. He seemed to have fallen back into a heavy mood, walking ahead in silence. The weather was a bit hot, and seeing a vending machine by the road, I went to buy two cans of Red Bull. By the time I got back, Ling Xiao was nowhere to be seen.
Fortunately, the villa was just ahead. I hurried after him, but it was as if he’d used a teleportation spell; I couldn't find him anywhere. At the entrance, a security guard asked for my VIP card. I pointed toward the athletes' passage. "I'm with Ling... I mean, with the Knight. He just went in!"
"Knight?" The guard eyed me suspiciously. "Who are you to him?"
I hesitated, wondering what to say. If I said "friend," he might not believe me. "Uh, well, I'm his..."
"Family."
Ling Xiao had appeared behind me at some point, speaking to the guard.
I was startled to see he hadn't gone inside yet. The guard stopped giving me a hard time, took my phone for safekeeping, and let me in.
I asked Ling Xiao, "How were you still behind me?"
"I was making a call outside." Ling Xiao walked toward the locker room without looking back. "If you're going to follow me, keep up."
I watched him set down his backpack and place his long equipment case on the bench. A strange sweetness bubbled up in my chest—not just because of the "keep up," but because of that word: "Family."
*Captain, seriously, where did you learn this technique for unintentional flirting?*
***
Thirty-two contestants appear in the underground matches each quarter. If Ling Xiao made it to the finals, he’d have to fight at least six matches. It didn't sound like many, but every single one was a life-or-death struggle. Part of me hoped he’d lose midway, but his skill was obvious to everyone. If he threw a match and the boss found out, it would probably be even harder for him to get away.
Ling Xiao sat on the bench, looking down as he inspected his sabre. The blade was incredibly sharp. I couldn't help but say, "Let me see?"
Ling Xiao handed it to me hilt-first. "It's sharp. Be careful."
"I know, I know. Please, I'm a fencing master too, how could I possibly get—ow!"
I gripped my finger and hunched over. Before I could even finish the act, Ling Xiao snatched my hand. Seeing my finger perfectly intact, he looked stunned.
I felt a surge of secret glee. "Hehe, fooled you!"
Ling Xiao let go of my hand, his face darkening as he clicked the sharp sabre back into its case. "Is it fun to lie to me?"
I had only wanted to make a joke to ease the pre-match tension, but seeing him genuinely angry and remembering his serious nature, I felt a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, I was just joking..."
"There are many kinds of jokes. You don't need to make this one." Ling Xiao walked to the locker and began unbuttoning his shirt, speaking without turning around. "You are a fencer. You must protect your hands. Do I really need to teach you such basic common sense?"
I began to reflect. There were so many ways to ease pre-match nerves; why did I have to pick that one? It was as if I just wanted to tease him, but people who make those kinds of jokes subconsciously want to see the other person care. And the person you always want care from is the person you like and worry about.
Only those caught in a one-sided love make such childish jokes, because they are constantly looking for proof that the other person likes them back, that the other person cares...
But Ling Xiao even cares about cats, and he's the captain of the fencing team. It wasn't necessarily because he cared about *me* that he was worried about my hand. To put it bluntly, that joke was meaningless; for me, it was just satisfying a bored delusion, but for Ling Xiao, wasn't it just "Is it fun to lie to me?"
As the match was about to start, the contestants needed to focus. I didn't want to disturb him further, so I said I’d go for a walk.
Ling Xiao, now changing into his fencing whites, said with his back to me, "Don't wander too far."
*Don't worry,* I thought. *With a giant magnet like you here, I wouldn't wander far even if the whole world were laid out before me.* I gave a quick "okay" and headed out.
I didn't actually want to wander; I mainly wanted to dig up some info on his opponent. I checked the odds at the betting station. Ling Xiao’s win rate was still leading, which meant that whether it was the official stats, his record, or the audience's eyes, Ling Xiao was considered superior.
I lingered at the betting station, trying to overhear what the gamblers were saying, when someone suddenly tapped me on the back.
I turned to see a girl with a bright, beautiful smile. If it weren't for that playful short curly hair and the deep dimples, I wouldn't have recognized her as the girl from Li Rui’s car. Without the sunglasses, she looked much younger.
"It's you," I said, struggling for conversation and settling for a silly grin.
The girl reached out her hand gracefully. "Li Xin."
It would have been rude not to reciprocate. I hesitated, then reached out. Li Xin grabbed my hand and leaned in, whispering, "I know who you are, no need to say it~"
Miss Li was incredibly familiar, clearly raised in a very open-minded household. She wasn't shy around strange guys at all. Leaning against the betting counter, she pointed at the names on the odds board and asked, "Which one is your friend?"
I figured since Ling Xiao didn't like Li Rui, he definitely wouldn't want anything to do with Li Rui’s sister. I was about to brush her off with a "Didn't Mr. Li tell you?" but Li Xin didn't even wait for an answer. She asked herself, "Captain? Knight? ...Ah, it's the Knight, isn't it!"
I felt a bit deflated. "How are you so sure?"
"Your expression! I've been watching you for a while. As soon as you saw the odds, you got this relieved look on your face. You can't fool your big sister with that expression!"
What was it with girls these days, always calling themselves "sister" or "auntie"?
"And may I ask how old 'Big Sister' is?"
"I'll be twenty-three in the second half of the year. And you? ...Hahaha, no need to say it, you're younger, aren't you? I like guys like you best—you can't hide anything on your face! Not like that friend of yours, with that icy poker face. You can't tell what he's thinking at all~"
She said that, but as she looked at the word "Knight" on the board, her eyes were full of longing. If my expression was easy to read, hers was just a transparent attempt at hiding the obvious.
It wasn't surprising, though. It was Ling Xiao, after all. It wasn't strange for any gay man or straight woman to have thoughts about him.
"Are you and the Knight close? My brother said you're teammates?" Li Xin asked.
I really wanted to put my hands on my hips like Yi Taitai and tell her: *Ling Xiao is mine, little girl, so back off!* But I found it impossible to actually dislike Li Xin. Honestly, no one could hate a smart, graceful, wealthy beauty like her, even if I was gay.
"Did you place your bet?" Li Rui walked over from the spectator stands.
Li Rui was like Ling Xiao in that he was the type of man who easily gained people's favor. But unlike Ling Xiao’s aloof coldness, Li Rui had a Western-style openness and casualness. I thought to myself that these two siblings were truly lucky—born into a wealthy family, receiving the best education, and having such likable personalities.
Back in the locker room, Ling Xiao had already changed into his fencing gear.
"I went to check things out," I said, closing the door. "Your opponent used to be a sabre fencer too. You have to be careful."
Ling Xiao bent over to tie his shoes, saying only, "I won't lose."
With his current strength, he was at the absolute peak of the world's pyramid. I wasn't worried about whether he’d win or lose; I just didn't want him to get hurt.
The sound of the announcer warming up the crowd drifted in from the arena. I said, "It's time to go on. Where's the mask? I'll get it for you."
"Over there."
I found the mask. It was made of Kevlar fiber, not easily pierced. This type of mask was secured behind the ears and then buckled at the back of the head. I pulled at the straps to test the elasticity, intending to hand it to Ling Xiao while he was still tying his shoes, but he didn't take it. Instead, he looked up and tilted his head toward me.
My heart skipped a beat. Seeing me holding the mask, he probably thought I was going to help him put it on...
And so, with ulterior motives, I reached out to put the mask on him. My hands hooked the straps behind his ears, brushing against his cool earlobes. It felt like thunder was rolling through my heart.
Throughout the process, Ling Xiao’s cool eyes looked directly at mine. I thought to myself that this guy was truly too innocent. Usually, he didn't even look people in the eye, but once he did, he was so direct. He had no idea if the person he was looking at was a saint or a scoundrel...
Thinking of this, I was suddenly hit by an indescribable sense of guilt. Ling Xiao didn't know the feelings I harbored for him, so he treated me with the frankness of a brother. No matter what I did to him, he wouldn't think twice about it, while I was clearly taking advantage of his goodwill to satisfy my own selfish desires.
It was incredibly roguish, incredibly wrong.
I quickly buckled the mask behind his head and pulled my hands back awkwardly, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. "Too tight?"
"It's fine."
Even with the Zorro-style mask on, it didn't diminish the directness and honesty in his eyes. I knew he was looking at me, as defenseless as if he were looking at the blue sky and white clouds. Being looked at by Ling Xiao like that gave one a blissful illusion. In that moment, I didn't know what to say, so I finally just smiled. "Good luck!"
Ling Xiao gave me a small smile. His smiles were always faint and cool, yet they left a long-lasting aftertaste. I was always afraid he would see what I was thinking, yet I agonized over the fact that he might never know for the rest of his life.
***
