The fencing hall echoed with the sound of rhythmic footwork, the clashing of blades, and Ling Xiao’s voice.
"The strongest opponents you’re likely to face in the finals are Besev and Cornier."
The sword blurred before my eyes in a dizzying display. I recognized it immediately—this was Besev’s signature style.
Besev’s technique was similar to mine; I also loved using feints and had been a master of deception since I was a kid. Fighting him was like fighting myself, which actually made me quite excited. Sometimes, when watching my own match videos, I’d wonder how I would go about taking myself down.
I was on the defensive at first, but gradually, I began to adapt to Besev’s tricks. Amidst the flashing steel, I discerned which moves were mere reflections in the water, which were flowers in a mirror, and which were...
*Clang!* I parried a blade directly in front of my chest.
—And which were the real, lethal strikes!
We fought to a draw in the first set. Ling Xiao flexed his sabre, and I could feel his cold, powerful gaze from behind his mask. "3-3. Second set."
In this set, his style changed again. Compared to Besev’s flashy, overwhelming flair, this style was significantly faster. The rhythm shifted so abruptly that I was often slashed the moment the tempo changed.
"Cornier studied under your idol, Yakilev. He’s an expert at controlling his opponent’s rhythm. I lost miserably the first time I faced him. Once you start following his beat, losing is only a matter of time."
"Then what should I do?" I leaned on my knees, panting for breath. Just hearing Yakilev’s name made my legs feel weak.
He didn't give me a moment to recover. Raising his sabre, the tip vibrated like a snake's tongue, weaving a floral pattern of steel in the darkness. "Figure it out yourself."
Damn, not a hint of tenderness!
Cornier’s style shared some similarities with Ling Xiao’s own. Initially, I was completely suppressed. Once I fell into a passive state, no matter how much I wanted to turn the tables, I lacked the strength. Then, Ling Xiao suddenly stopped. The blade that had slashed my shoulder was still vibrating violently, like a galloping horse brought to a sudden halt, its white mane still fluttering in the slipstream.
He retracted his sword and stood up straight. "You stepped past the end line again."
I looked back, frustrated. I almost threw my sabre in a fit of pique, but I caught myself. I realized Ling Xiao was quietly observing me, which made me want to find a hole to crawl into. "...Sorry. My old coach used to scold me for it too. Said I could handle winning but not losing, that I had no grace..."
"I know," Ling Xiao said. "Grace is secondary, but easily revealing your emotions to an opponent puts you at a severe disadvantage."
I rarely lost, so I’d never really considered that. "Fine. Next time I go out of bounds, I’ll let out three loud laughs and scare the crap out of them!"
Ling Xiao seemed to let out a soft chuckle. "Then you’d be even more formidable than me."
It was such a shame I couldn't see his face through the mask. I couldn't help but ask curiously, "Oh right, how did you feel the first time you lost to Cornier? You seem like you wouldn't care much."
"I was quite sad. I thought, 'Ah, I actually lost'..."
I recalled Ling Xiao’s usual "looking down on the world" expression after matches and thought: *Your version of being 'sad' must be pretty bizarre...*
"But seeing you throw your mask after winning a few times, I actually thought it was quite..."
He stopped abruptly. My curiosity spiked. "Quite what?"
To my surprise, his demeanor shifted instantly back to cold professionalism. "You’ve rested enough. It’s 9-8; you’re down by one point." He walked back behind the starting line. "Third set."
In the third set, the Ling Xiao I liked best returned. They say one should be as swift as a fleeing hare and as still as a maiden—that was the team heartthrob who usually climbed walls, rode bikes, and sat at bars. But standing on the piste, this man was as dynamic as a stallion and as steady as a pine tree.
I still hadn't figured out how to deal with Cornier’s pressure when Ling Xiao forced me past the end line once again.
The only improvement was that I managed to refrain from throwing my mask.
"Have you thought about why both Cornier and I can force you off the piste?"
I pulled off my mask, wiped my sweat, and plopped down right on the strip. "Because you guys are too strong!"
Ling Xiao walked over and crouched down to look at me. "Qiao Mai, you are strong too."
I don't know why, but even though his eyes were obscured behind the mesh of the mask, I still felt a jolt of electricity from his gaze.
Ling Xiao looked at the end line behind me. "This time, you held your ground for a long time even after one foot went over. Unlike the first time, you’ve realized that you can't simply retreat."
"What good does realizing it do?" I stared at that line, a deep shadow creeping into my heart. I could accept being slashed or stabbed, but constantly losing points by stepping out was so frustrating. "If I don't retreat, you'll hit me."
"Exactly." Ling Xiao gave a soft snap of his fingers, and my exhaustion-addled focus snapped back to him. "You feel that if you don't retreat, you'll be hit. You’re too afraid of being touched. But the chance of being hit is fifty-fifty; stepping off the line is a one-hundred-percent loss of a point." He stood up, placing his foot right on the boundary. "Have you considered the math? Suppose a fencer is prone to stepping out twice per match. That means he gives his opponent two points on average. Because the chance of a counter-attack near the boundary is actually very high, by retreating, he gives up that chance. That effectively means he loses two points while giving away two. But if there’s a fencer who never steps out, he either gets hit twice—scoring 0 but giving away no 'free' points—or he gets hit once and counters once, scoring 1. Or he counters twice and scores 2. On the surface, the gap between him and his opponent is 2 points, but in reality..."
"It’s 4 points!" It hit me like a bolt of lightning.
"Exactly. The skill gap between Cornier and me isn't that large. To beat him, I have to fight for every single point. Therefore, I can never allow myself to step off the piste."
No wonder Ling Xiao could achieve a record of two wins and one loss against a freakish talent like Cornier, defying everyone's expectations. It was terrifying enough that he was a genius, but he was a genius who put in 99% effort. I looked up at him, feeling both dejected that he was so much stronger than me and satisfied that he was standing right here in front of me.
"Let’s go!" I jumped up and pulled my mask back on. "We haven't reached fifteen points yet!"
The things Ling Xiao told me sounded easy, but overcoming human instinct is easier said than done. Every fencer fears being hit—more than they fear the boundary. I silently told myself: *This time, even if he runs me through with his blade, I’m taking it!*
When my heel touched the end line, the hair on my neck stood up. I pulled my right foot back, using it to brace my left foot, which I clamped firmly onto the line. I treated that leg as if it were already dead! He swung, I parried. He swung again, I parried again. On his final strike, I slashed back. As I leaned back, losing my balance and nearly falling, my sabre swept hard across his mask!
The sword flew from my hand as I tumbled backward onto the piste. Only my left foot remained awkwardly curled, its heel still firmly planted on that line.
I really wanted to grab my "dead" left leg and give it a huge kiss!
Ling Xiao picked up my fallen sabre and handed it back to me by the blade. I didn't take it; instead, I lunged forward and pulled him into a hug.
The impact made him stumble back a step. Then, he stood still as a tree, letting me hold him.
In high spirits, I let go. "I’m not throwing my mask anymore. How about we use this as our celebration from now on?"
Ling Xiao straightened his mask. "No."
"Ah, why not?"
"I said no. Fence properly, and stop acting like a spoiled child."
The way he said it was so willful, so much like a domineering CEO! Fine, whatever you say...
Though he eventually took all fifteen points, I didn't feel defeated. On the contrary, it was exhilarating. I had always thought I was someone who could never accept defeat, but now I knew there would always be that one person you’re willing to lose to, someone you want to be stronger than you. He is the goal you chase, the desire of your heart, the direction of your soul.
"15-11." His deep voice, muffled by the mask, sounded like it was coated in cold metal. "No objections accepted."
I yanked off my metal mask and watched excitedly as Ling Xiao slowly removed his. He transformed from my fated rival back into the "Qi Ling" I liked, the one who used to crouch on walls.
"I never told you this," he said, tucking the mask under his arm and running a hand through his messy hair, looking somewhat troubled and helpless. "But whenever you look at me like that, I get goosebumps all over."
I burst out laughing. "Serves you right! Who told you to go easy on me?"
We sat side-by-side on the floor. Ling Xiao said, "I’m sorry. I didn't understand you well enough back then. I thought you really were that much of a sore loser."
"Forget it," I said. "I was the same. I used to think you were a god, but now I realize you’re just a god-tier nutcase."
Ling Xiao smiled.
He was smiling at me so often lately that I felt a bit overwhelmed by the favor. "Um, do you think I can beat Cornier?" I had a glimmer of hope against Besev, but I was really unsure about Cornier.
His tone turned serious. "Cornier is my defeated opponent. Therefore, you cannot lose to him either."
I felt like there was a subtext there. "Because he’s your defeated opponent, I can't lose... what’s that supposed to mean?"
"It means that as my family, I’d lose face if you lost."
"..."
*Damn it, how can you say something like that without even blushing!* My heart hammered like a trapped deer. I wiped my sweat and stole a glance at Ling Xiao. When did he learn how to tease people? He’s certainly made a lot of progress.
We talked more about the matches, analyzing Cornier and then Besev. We didn't even need to watch their footage; Ling Xiao was a living recorder. Thinking back to how Da Pang, Lao Qi, and I used to watch videos just for fun, while Ling Xiao memorized everything... was he basically giving me a "cheat code" tonight?
He said more to me tonight than we had said in the past six months combined. He was truly pouring out everything he knew, holding nothing back, as if he wanted to boost my stats to the heavens.
There was one question I’d wanted to ask for a long time. "When you first came to the national team, did you actually notice me?"
"The Zishan base is quite large. It’s a good thing you were standing there."
"You really saw me as a signpost?!"
He turned his head to look at me. "As a landmark."
Seeing his serious expression, I smiled knowingly. *Yes. You are my goal, and I am your landmark.*
Ling Xiao picked up his mask and sabre and stood up. "It’s late. Go back."
Outside the window, the moon was bright and the stars were sparse. It was indeed late, but I was reluctant to move. I pretended to joke, "That’s it? Nothing else you want to chat about?"
"Let’s leave it at this for now." Ling Xiao looked back at me. "Focus on the competition. We’ll talk about everything else later."
It was a smile of relief, of letting go, of composure. I nodded. "Then I’ll come see you off tomorrow!"
"No need. Old Hu won't allow it, and besides, you should be training when I leave." He turned and stepped off the piste.
"Where do you plan to go after leaving the national team?" I knew he had likely broken ties with that "home" of his long ago and would never go back. Since He Ming passed away, he had always been alone.
"I might travel around the US first. See the last places he visited. After that..." His voice dropped as he thought. "I’ll plan carefully and take things as they come."
"Okay. Keep your phone on. I’ll come find you as soon as the Olympics are over!"
"If you don't win gold, don't bother looking for me."
"I’ll win it!" I stood up and shouted at his retreating back. "I’ll definitely win it!!"
That’s how it is. Even if we lose everything, even if we carry the weight of the world, we have to keep moving forward.
***
