The year turned, and spring arrived. It was time to prepare for the World Championships. I had finally shaken off my days of idling around and petting cats, resuming my daily training while waiting for the national team’s call.
Old Hu called while I was in the bathroom giving Ling Xiao-er and Big Yellow a bath. The moment I stepped out, Big Yellow tried to slip through the crack in the door. I barked over my shoulder, "Ling Xiao-er! If he gets out, you’re going without dinner too!"
The black cat poked his head out from the tub of bubbles with a look of icy disdain. Like a tiger leaping from its cage, he pinned Big Yellow to the floor in two seconds flat.
Old Hu informed me of the date for the first training camp. I asked him, "What about the Captain? Can he participate?"
Old Hu sighed, saying it likely wouldn't be easy.
I didn't understand. "It was just an underground match, wasn't it? He’s already stopped, and he terminated the contract himself. What are the higher-ups thinking? Even people caught doping only get banned for a year. Are they trying to blacklist him for—"
I cut myself off as the realization hit. Wasn't that exactly it? Why was I still harboring illusions about that old man of his?
Old Hu didn't say much else. "Anyway, I’ll keep fighting for him. There’s still a chance with the Fencing Association and the General Administration. The staff there has been seeing some fresh blood these past two years."
Thinking about it, Old Hu really didn't have it easy. He was an athlete just as simple-minded as I was, yet now he had to navigate all these unfamiliar territories, dealing with social obligations and "pulling strings." The other day, I’d caught him looking in the mirror, trying his best to suck in his slight beer belly, and I’d actually snickered at him... I was such a jerk. I gave myself a silent slap across the face. Before hanging up, I called out to him, "Thanks, Coach Hu."
"It’s my responsibility to protect you lot. Nothing to thank me for."
Old Hu hung up coolly. That was a team leader for you—if the sky fell, he’d be the one propping it up. Perhaps because Old Hu was a former athlete himself, no matter how big his beer belly grew in the future, he would always be on our side.
*The Fencing Association and the General Administration,* I suddenly thought. *Maybe they aren't all bureaucrats. Some of them must be former athletes too.*
Ling Xiao’s father might be powerful, but Ling Xiao wasn't just his son; he was an athlete. Fencing, like track and field or swimming, had always been a weak point for our country. Now, we were finally seeing the dawn of being able to compete with the European powerhouses. If I were one of the higher-ups, I would protect a talent like Ling Xiao at all costs.
I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. I didn't know the people at the top, but I knew someone very influential. Now was the time to act. In the past, no one would have necessarily listened to me, but things were different now. Now, I was Qiao "Olympic Champion" Mai!
***
At a youth fencing center in Guanghe City, I met Coach Liang Zhonghui, who was now over fifty. I bowed to him from a distance. Coach Liang walked over with a smile, remarking that it looked like the world champion had come to ask him for a favor.
"But I’m no longer with the national team, nor do I hold a position in the Fencing Association. Didn't your coach tell you?" Coach Liang asked.
I nodded. "I know, but..."
"But you still have a favor to ask, right?" Coach Liang laughed. "Wondering how I could tell? I’m a good judge of character. I saw you the first time you represented the province in a youth competition. You were so loud and boisterous back then. You nearly knocked me over, chirped 'Sorry, Gramps!' and vanished before I could blink. I wasn't quite at the age to be called 'Gramps' back then, was I?"
I had absolutely no memory of this. Cold sweat broke out on my forehead. *I’m doomed,* I thought. *This is the price of youthful arrogance...*
I walked with Coach Liang outside the fencing hall and told him everything about Ling Xiao.
After listening, Coach Liang looked puzzled. "Ling Xiao should be your strongest rival on the national team. If he competes in the World Championships, you might not get the gold. Why do you want to help him?"
"Because of exactly that," I said. "He is my strongest rival. Only a gold medal won with him in the race is truly earned."
Coach Liang nodded understandingly and fell silent for a moment. "Your coach doesn't know you came to see me, does he?"
I had to admit the truth. "If he knew, he probably wouldn't have let me come..."
"Don't blame him. You’ve likely heard about what happened to Ling Xiao’s older brother. After that, I resigned as the national coach. When the Fencing Association came looking for me later, I didn't go back. I truly was disheartened for a time. That’s why he didn't want to disturb me; in his eyes, I’m probably just living out my retirement in peace."
Coach Liang spoke with a hint of a smile, but my ears didn't miss a single word. "You said... you were disheartened for *a time*?"
"Yes. The pressure on He Ming back then was truly immense, but things are different now." He looked at me with a smile, pride making him look years younger. "We have an Olympic champion now, and I want to see more world champions. Tell your coach not to shoulder everything alone. Although I don't hold an official title, there are still people willing to listen to what I have to say. We can discuss this slowly. There’s no reason the small request of a world champion shouldn't be met."
Never had I been more grateful for the gold medal in my hand than at that moment. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"
This Olympic gold didn't just make the country value fencing and its athletes more; it also gained me millions of followers on Weibo. Now, I didn't shy away from mentioning Ling Xiao’s name at all. I made a point of it, reposting his badass competition videos for everyone to see. I mentioned him in interviews, making a pact with him in front of every camera to meet in the finals of the World Championships.
I might not be able to help with the cold war between Ling Xiao and his father, but that "Lord Father" now had to face more than just a fencing team—he had to face the expectations of the entire nation and a promise witnessed by millions.
***
In April, I returned to Zishan Base for the first training camp. Old Hu gave me the good news: the higher-ups were softening their stance and were considering letting Ling Xiao return to the team, though he would need to go in for a formal talk.
It was good news, except for the fact that Ling Xiao was still missing in action.
While everyone waited for his return, we threw ourselves into training. During the camp, I still woke up early for morning runs and did extra practice at night. I doubled the length of my runs and the duration of my extra sessions. Even Big Fatty Gao complained that I was becoming more and more like the Captain, making it impossible for him to love me as much as before.
Unexpectedly, Big Fatty Gao’s joke became a prophecy. Old Hu actually appointed me as the Captain. I refused him with righteous indignation, saying our Captain was still alive and I couldn't do something so treacherous. "Get someone else to do—"
Before I could finish, Old Hu smacked me upside the head. "Think your wings are strong enough to fly just because you got a gold medal? Do you think you have a say in this?! If I tell you to be Captain, you’re Captain!"
"Fine, fine," I said, rubbing my head. "Then I’ll just be the Acting Captain for now?"
Why did it feel like when Ling Xiao was Captain, it was full of glory, but when it came to me, "Captain" was just a synonym for a public servant working like a dog?
Regardless, I took up my post as Acting Captain. Returning from extra practice that night, I dutifully stood guard by the wall. I caught He Qi and Big Fatty Gao red-handed as they were sneaking out for some fun. I snapped a photo of the two of them perched guiltily on the wall as evidence and bolted. The two of them jumped down and chased after me, calling me an ungrateful wolf. When they caught me, they pummeled me until my head was covered in bumps. I saw stars and nearly fainted, so He Qi and Big Fatty carried me back to the dorm.
After resting for a bit, I came to. He Qi scolded me, "You’re pushing yourself too hard. The training intensity this afternoon was so high; you should have just rested tonight. Do you know why Old Hu made you Captain? He thinks you’re being too suicidal with your training and wanted to give you something else to do..."
I understood the logic, but without training, I felt empty.
In the past, I would have spent my weekends relaxing at an internet cafe. Now, every weekend, I went to the swimming pool to work on my physical conditioning, because I knew Ling Xiao had trained there too. I understood more and more why he had gone to the places where He Ming had fought underground matches. It was a form of motivation.
In April, the water in the indoor pool was still a bit chilly. The shallow end was lively with adults and children splashing around, but today, I was the only one swimming laps in the deep end.
As I dove underwater, I suddenly heard a familiar ringtone. It was my phone, which I’d left on the deck. Just as I was about to turn back, a sudden, sharp pain twisted my ankle. It wouldn't move.
A cramp?!
The phone continued to ring urgently, but I couldn't break the surface.
The massive body of water in the deep end felt like it had its own gravity. I felt like a cockroach being flushed down a toilet, drifting further and further from the light on the surface.
***
I had a dream. I was back at the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics. I was standing among my Chinese teammates, holding up my phone to capture the fireworks. Fireworks weren't unusual, but these were erupting from all sides of the stadium, soaring into the night sky like a waterfall flowing in reverse. It was breathtaking.
My teammates, dressed in their "tomato and scrambled egg" uniforms, were all taking photos together—the swimmers, the divers, the table tennis players, the badminton players. I remembered something very important.
"I never told you, but my followers on Weibo are so annoying. They’ve been clamoring to see a photo of the two of us. Why don't we take one now?"
I spoke excitedly and turned my head. Ling Xiao was standing right beside me. The cool light of the fireworks reflected off him. He looked at me and said, "Okay."
I really... hadn't heard that voice in so long. So he was by my side after all, I thought.
I held up my phone. I pressed the shutter, but it didn't make a sound. I pressed it several more times, but the camera function seemed frozen. There was no response at all.
Ling Xiao took the phone from me. "Let me do it."
I happily leaned my face in and made the "rock on" hand gesture Lotus often used at concerts. Ling Xiao held up the phone, and this time it finally worked. A crisp *click* sounded, clear even over the roar of the fireworks.
"Satisfied?" he asked, handing the phone back.
I looked at the screen—at my handsome self making a goofy face and the elegant "God" beside me. I couldn't be more satisfied.
"If you're satisfied, then stop sleeping," Ling Xiao said.
His hand suddenly reached out, covering my eyes.
And then I woke up. When I opened my eyes, the surroundings were vast and silent. I was still in that magnificent Olympic stadium, but the "tomato and scrambled egg" army was gone. The stands were empty; not a single spectator remained.
I was lying alone on the fresh grass, my whole body cold.
"What’s going on?" I sat up and shouted, "Where is everyone?!"
The stadium’s PA system suddenly crackled to life. After a burst of piercing static, Old Hu’s exasperated voice came through: "Qiao Mai, what the hell are you playing at?! Get up this instant!"
I scrambled up from the grass. "Old Hu? Not bad! Where are you hiding? The broadcast room?"
Old Hu continued to scold me like a string of firecrackers. "I knew you were a handful, blah blah blah..." After ranting for a long time, he finally said, almost helplessly, "Ling Xiao is back."
What?! "Really?!" Old Hu wouldn't lie to me. I was so happy I didn't know what to do with myself, spinning in circles on the vast green field. "Where is he?"
"Qiao Mai."
That familiar bass voice came over the speakers.
"Ling Xiao! Holy crap, where are you?! The broadcast room? Wait for me, I’m coming to find you!"
"Qiao Mai, listen to me carefully."
I dashed across the grass. "Okay, okay, I’m listening!"
"There is something I must tell you. It’s been buried in my heart for a long time." Ling Xiao’s voice echoed through the silent, cavernous stadium. "That day, when He Qi said you were locked in the locker room and that you had claustrophobia, I ran back to open the door for you. Even though you were just joking, to me, it felt like a premonition. A warning to be careful lest my nightmares come true."
I ran across the red track. My right shoe fell off, but I doubled back to grab it and shoved it on, shouting as I hopped along, "I know! I know everything!"
"My father betrayed my mother. My stepmother betrayed her husband. Li Rui betrayed his brother. After that, whenever someone got close to me, showing me warmth and kindness, I lived every moment in the anxiety of losing them. That day outside the bar, seeing you comforting someone else and completely forgetting our promise... that anxiety returned. Since joining the team, I haven't spoken this much to anyone but you, eaten with anyone else, or walked with anyone else. I’ve watched your matches since before I even joined the team, fantasizing about becoming your rival. It seems I was born with a natural affinity for you, and your actions have only deepened that feeling."
Entering the athletes' tunnel, I could still hear Ling Xiao’s voice. I stopped in the bright, empty corridor, unable to believe what I was hearing. He said he’d been watching my matches since before he joined the team...
"The deeper that affinity grew, the more I understood you, and the heavier that anxiety became. You are completely different from me. You live so brightly and freely. You have so many friends, and even those who aren't your friends are easily drawn to you. I don't know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve always been very jealous.
"I wanted to distance myself from you, but every time you came to find me, I would compromise. For some reason, it was just so hard to refuse you. Later, I told myself to just be friends with him, not to take another step forward. But you didn't want to be just friends. Back then in the bar restroom, I didn't dare let you say those words—not just because I was afraid what happened to my brother would happen to us, but because if we were just friends, you would only have to deal with a jealous best friend, not a lover who naturally views you as his private property. I had it all planned out; I was going to tell you that Li Xin and I were dating. I tried to say it several times, but every time I saw that disappointed look on your face, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
"In the end, I had to push you away because I wanted to do things that I knew you would loathe me for if you found out. That was the first time I realized that everyone around you—He Qi, Big Fatty Gao, Yoon Tae-il, Tian Ai, Coach Hu—everyone is better than me. I wanted you to be with them, to live in the sunlight forever. Even if you weren't by my side, at least I wouldn't have to hurt you."
I ran through the long white hallway. *Dammit, stop with the depressing talk, okay? Once I find you and give you a bear hug, you’ll behave!*
"I’m afraid that the only way I can accept you is to tie you to my side. If one day I see you being intimate with someone else, I might not say anything, but I will distance myself from you, treat you coldly. No one in this world is more proficient at the 'cold shoulder' than I am. Are you really not afraid of a version of me like that?"
*You’ve already said it out loud, so what’s there to be afraid of? I don't even dare tell people I still wet the bed back in primary school! If you have this kind of iron-clad courage (shamelessness), what can't we handle?!*
I finally reached the broadcast room. Trembling with excitement, I pushed open the heavy doors—
A long fencing strip stretched out before me. I saw a youth in a white fencing uniform—it was the fifteen-year-old Ling Xiao. He stood on the strip waiting for me. I walked over, and he remained motionless, steady as a mountain, upright as a poplar. All his expressions were perfectly hidden behind the black mesh of his mask. I stepped forward and removed his mask with both hands. The youth, as pure as a snow-capped mountain, had those familiar faint freckles on his cheeks. His gaze was hesitant and evasive.
I said, "Ling Xiao, nice to meet you. I’m Qiao Mai. I came to tell you that I’m willing to be tied to your side. When you grow up, you must remember me. Remember to tie me to your side."
That way, both of us would be happy.
***
I opened my eyes. Soft white light filtered down. In my slightly blurred vision, a figure sat by my bed, wearing a white sweater, looking down at me. I had never felt that the moment of opening my eyes could be so beautiful, so full of joy.
The figure leaned closer, the face slowly filtering out of the white light, as handsome as a deity. "I heard someone wants me to tie him to my side."
My five senses sharpened one by one. The smell of disinfectant on the hospital sheets, the rhythmic beeping of the monitor by the bed—everything confirmed that what I was seeing this time was no hallucination.
I had imagined the scene of Ling Xiao’s return many times. Would it be during training when Old Hu suddenly stopped and we turned to see him standing at the gate with his luggage? Or would it be when I accompanied Grandma Zhao to feed the stray cats and saw him sitting under a tree with them?
Now, despite the thousand words I had to say, all that came out was a simple, "Good morning" sort of phrase: "You’re back."
Since I was a kid, I could never stand tearful, sentimental scenes—things like "Don't run over here, wait for me to run to you." This was fine. It was as if he had just traveled to the ends of the earth with his sword and had now wandered back home.
Ling Xiao smiled slightly. "I didn't know you talked in your sleep."
I didn't remember what I’d said; I only remembered the feeling of drowning.
"You were underwater for too long. You were unconscious all night. I thought..."
Seeing his grim expression, I interrupted him. "I’m fine. It was just a sudden cramp. Aren't I perfectly fine now? Oh, right—" I sat up a bit, and Ling Xiao rose to help me crank up the bed. "I’m the Acting Captain now. But since you’re back, the Captain’s armband is still yours."
"Mm," he poured a glass of water and handed it to me. "Being the Captain’s Wife suits you just fine."
I nearly choked on the water.
Ling Xiao looked at me, smiling but saying nothing.
I thought of that letter, my mind full of "YES," but fearing a "what if," I asked jokingly, "That letter... you didn't get a ghostwriter for it, did you?"
"You caught me."
"..."
"It took me two days to write that letter."
Heaven knows I almost died of disappointment! I looked at him, caught between laughter and tears, and realized he actually looked a bit aggrieved. I tried my best to imagine the "overbearing CEO on a bicycle" hunched over a desk, racking his brain for romantic words, and felt immensely satisfied. Still, he could tease people so easily now; for an AI, his learning speed was off the charts!
It was enough that he was back. Nothing else mattered. I was just a little concerned about one thing. "Your dad’s side... is it settled?"
"More or less."
"What does 'more or less' mean?"
"I hadn't spoken to him in years, so I wanted to have a serious talk. I told him I’d fallen for someone of the same sex. He said he’d give me time to think it over. I stayed at the military compound, and he came to see me once a month to ask if I’d changed my mind." Ling Xiao said, "The last time he came, he told me to have a marriage of convenience. I refused."
Nearly a year of cold war and stalemate was reduced to a few casual sentences in his mouth. But I knew that both Ling Xiao and his father were firm and cold to the bone. There was no room for persuasion between them; there was only the submission and compromise of wills.
"And then?" I asked.
"Then he said nothing and let me go." Ling Xiao looked at me. "Because I said I could wait. Because I knew that person would wait with me, and in the end, we would still be together. Even if we’re eighty years old, you can delay it, but you can't stop it from happening."
The look in his eyes was full of trust. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of Ling Xiao his father had seen at that moment. He must have seen how Ling Xiao would fulfill his promise. Nearly a year of cold war and isolation hadn't made him submit. He wasn't being unruly, rebellious, or impulsive; he was clear-headed, restrained, and composed from beginning to end. As a father, the "family reputation" and "legacy" he sought to uphold were facing an inevitable defeat. He could refuse to compromise with Ling Xiao, but then he would have to spend the next several decades waiting for that inevitable defeat to arrive alongside death. Or, he could let it happen now and be completely liberated from the torture of waiting.
I couldn't describe my feelings at this moment. This man was always switching between being a "neurotic" and a "god." Sometimes he made me want to smash a guitar over his head, and other times he made me want to kneel at his feet. I vaguely remembered the scene in my dream and felt incredibly grateful that my parents decided to bring me into this world, grateful to Achilleff for making me pick up a sword, and grateful to the kind soul who pulled me out of the water. My nose felt sour, and my eyes grew hot.
"Ling Xiao, I had a dream. I dreamt you asked me if I was afraid of you."
"Are you?"
"If I were afraid of you, I wouldn't have chased you." *I just happen to love the way you’re brave enough to discipline even yourself when you get serious!*
"Qiao Mai, I won't tie you to my side." He leaned toward me, his hands propped on the edge of the bed. This forced him to look up at me from a slight angle, a perspective that sent a jolt of electricity through me.
"Back in the alley, when you saw me return, I realized you were crying. On the podium, I felt you were crying for me too. There’s no need to hold back your tears now." He stared into my eyes as if studying me. "I’ve noticed that although you smile at everyone, you only seem to cry for me. When you cry for me, that’s when I believe you belong to me alone, and no one can take you away."
They say a woman’s tears are her strongest weapon; I never expected the "Bicycle CEO" to fall for that too. It was a bit embarrassing for a world champion, but if he liked it, what did it matter?
"Fine," I agreed readily. "I’ll cry!" I glanced at the door and lowered my voice. "From now on, I’ll only cry for you!"
He straightened up, then suddenly leaned down toward me again.
My lips were still a bit dry. This kiss wasn't particularly "delicious," yet it made my heart do somersaults.
"You haven't answered me yet. Is it YES or NO?"
I actually hesitated for a second, because the idea of having him chase me instead was very attractive. But "being together immediately, without delaying another day" won out by a hair.
"YES!" I propped myself up to wrap my arms around his neck. As I raised my hand, I knocked over the IV pole. I didn't care; I was too busy sealing Ling Xiao’s mouth with mine. But the pole didn't fall; Ling Xiao reached out and caught it, gently setting it back in place—just like my heart, which had finally found its steady resting place.
I, Qiao Mai, have studied fencing for twelve years and finally won an Olympic gold medal. I have loved someone for eight years and finally caught him in my hands. This is what it means to be a winner in life.
Oh, right, I still need that photo... The angle isn't great right now. I’ll wait until I’m done kissing this guy first.
—THE END—
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
梁忠辉 | Liang Zhonghui | Former national fencing coach.
广河市 | Guanghe City | A city mentioned as the location of the youth fencing center.
队长夫人 | Captain's Wife | A teasing term used by Ling Xiao for Qiao Mai.
代理队长 | Acting Captain | Qiao Mai's temporary role.
何鸣 | He Ming | Ling Xiao's older brother.
厉欣 | Li Xin | The woman Ling Xiao's father wanted him to date/marry.
形婚 | Marriage of convenience | Specifically a "formal marriage" often used to hide one's sexuality.
