"Will you be my mate?"
As the brief night drew to a close and a sense of tranquility filled their small nest, the white male Zerg dropped a bombshell in an utterly calm tone.
A shadow of melancholy flickered in his pale eyes as he gazed long and hard at the Core Species beside him.
Sa'kedi’s fingers were still resting on the other’s soft wings; they paused for a moment upon hearing the question.
Gera’s mental state had not been particularly stable lately—or rather, the male’s emotions had been somewhat unhealthy ever since they met. However, the abrupt transition from terror to the joy of being rescued, the massive shift in his living environment, and the then-dominant instinct for survival had suppressed this abnormality beneath a veneer of happiness.
Perhaps the challenge against Katla had placed too much psychological pressure on the male, causing his deep-seated insecurities to finally surface.
Come to think of it, Gera had displayed signs of unusual weariness more than once.
It was Sa'kedi's responsibility for allowing his companion to feel such unease.
"I don't know yet."
The black Core Species lying in the nest thought seriously for a moment before choosing his words carefully. He would not treat any of the male’s questions with perfunctory indifference, even one as thorny as this.
"My previous... life was very busy. I never considered the matter of a mate. There was a time when I was close to death, and I only thought about finishing everything I had to do before I died."
In reality, he had indeed died once.
But the male was terrified by these words. His breathing stopped instantly, and he jerked his head up to look at Sa'kedi, the respiratory lines along his abdomen tightening.
Sa'kedi smiled. He pressed down on the hand Gera had placed on his chest, drawing him close in a reassuring embrace.
"Don't be afraid. It's over now. My pupation was a success; I am very healthy."
"Is it really okay now?" the male asked, seeking confirmation once more in his unease.
Then, he was pressed against the black female's chest by Sa'kedi's other hand. The pheromones, the body heat, and the steady heartbeat all indicated that the Core Species before him possessed an extraordinarily powerful vitality.
"It's okay."
"So, I'm not sure how I feel." Slowly patting the other's back, Sa'kedi’s fingers once again stroked those limp white wings. "I never considered that I would find a male Zerg as a mate."
This was the truth; previously, he would only have used a male Zerg’s skull to skip stones across a pond.
"I have always found dealing with emotions—specifically courtship-related ones—to be a bit difficult. You said you couldn't understand the human definition of 'love'; sometimes, I can't fully grasp it either."
"And you are still too small." This time, a hint of a smile entered his voice, like a patient elder speaking to an ignorant youth. "I don't mean your age. I understand that for most Zerg, the sub-adult stage is already a sign of entering maturity. But you haven't seen this universe yet, haven't experienced a normal life, and haven't explored what it is you want to do."
His golden-brown eyes gazed at the other gently, filled with comfort and devoid of any mockery. "I am not denying that your longing is sincere. Hormones, pheromones, the attraction of the strong, a partner to rely on—these are all real factors, and there is nothing wrong with them. They can certainly serve as the foundation for a... desire to mate."
"Do you remember what I told you? In a very ancient language family from the human Old Earth, there is a word with a pronunciation similar to your name."
"—Ρωξάνη."
"It originates from the humans' Old Persian. Later, the word evolved into Roksane or Roxana. In some places, it means a shining little star, or a light."
"Old Earth is the place where humans were born. Early humans could not leave the ground and lacked effective means of observation, so they did not know that in this universe, only stars emit their own light."
Perhaps because the Core Species' tone was so gentle, these strange words evoked a fresh, indescribable ache in Gera. It was an experience he had never had before, much like the first time the adult female before him had called him by name.
Sa'kedi would not mock him; instead, he sought to communicate in a more moderate and steady manner.
"Perhaps to an ordinary person, the light of a star seems tiny and weak, but in reality, most starlight visible to the naked eye comes from a fiercely burning sun."
"I expect more from you, Roxane."
The Core Species' finger pressed against the corner of the other's eye, as if to wipe away a non-existent trace of moisture.
"It's not that I want you to become a certain kind of Zerg, nor do you need to grow according to my preferences. But before you define yourself as the mate of a certain female, you must go see the world and figure out what you want. Having no choice and making a choice for yourself are two entirely different things."
"What I can do is ensure that when you wish to choose, you have the sufficient right to choose according to your own will."
"Reproduction is an instinct written into the genes of every living thing, but it should not become a fear or a shackle. Do not trap yourself by someone's side just because you are afraid of being left behind."
"You may need more time to understand my past. Every Zerg has secrets that cannot be easily spoken of, and I am no exception. And I, too, will take more time to figure out my own thoughts."
Sa'kedi’s past experiences were indeed not suitable for discussion. If, while he was still alive, he had become a partner to a human and lived with them for a long time, only for his partner to suddenly pop up one day and say, "Hi, actually, I'm a bug—"
He simply couldn't imagine how much his mind would collapse and explode.
But this matter would have to be resolved eventually.
"I understand."
Gera responded with a faint hum.
"I will work very hard. I can learn many, many things."
"If I get the chance for a second pupation and become a much better Zerg than I am now, can I be your mate then?"
The male's voice was tiny. The Zerg way of thinking differed from that of humans; he understood the female's words, yet didn't quite understand them fully. But he still tried to respond in his own way.
"I can hatch many, many eggs for you. I will take good care of them. You can have a swarm of your own."
Sa'kedi was just about to answer the first sentence with "Whether you undergo a second pupation or not, you are a very reliable companion," but the next sentence sent him reeling. His originally calm and steady mental state was nearly totaled by the impact.
The Zerg's mental wiring was indeed different from humans, which resulted in the white male being caught somewhere between timid shyness and excessive bluntness when it came to courtship.
Sa'kedi felt he truly needed time to think; his gender identity system was beginning to malfunction.
The Zerg's method of reproduction was somewhat like that of a seahorse.
It was a complex issue that would likely be censored if explained in detail. One couldn't think too deeply about it; doing so made Sa'kedi’s scalp tingle.
During the era of the Great Kings, the Swarm Mothers adhered to the bandit tradition of "laying but not burying"—they would deposit eggs into the bodies of other creatures and then happily lie back, leaving the unlucky parasitized host to become the "mother."
When the era of the Great Kings ended and the Zerg split into different core genetic groups, the number of males increased, but the females remained a type of creature that fundamentally subverted human understanding.
The task of hatching eggs was entirely handled by the males. They possessed a small, warm incubation sac that stored genetic material; functionally, they were like a cross between a seahorse and an anglerfish.
Once placed in human society, this inverted relationship would become a controversial subject that would have sociologists and ethicists coming to blows, resulting in hundreds of books like *On the Relationship Between Power and Gender*, *Absolute Strength and Gender: Who Truly Dominates This World?*, and *Females and Males: Cognitive Misalignment in the Mating Process*.
"That's not important." He forced the words out; this sentence was more difficult to utter than any government decree he had ever issued. "I don't care much about a swarm. I... value private space with a mate more."
He had even forgotten that his current identity was not human, but a female Zerg; he was a complete mess, hardly knowing what he was saying.
As a result, the male looked even sadder.
"Actually, I lied," the male whispered. His hand remained covered by Sa'kedi's palm, his fingers curling slightly. "Even if we become mates, I might not be able to hatch many eggs for you."
"I heard that those of us with genetic defects cannot have offspring."
Having been struck by the "open-window" tactic, Sa'kedi was beyond thought. Gera had just ripped off his ceiling; opening a window now would only leave him feeling peaceful.
His sharp mind was rarely so entangled; the Core Species was currently sinking deep into the mire of the Zerg gender system.
The question of whether finding a male Zerg as a mate counted as being gay was making his CPU hum.
The scene of a dozen or so multi-legged little bugs crawling around and calling him and Gera "Mom and Dad" made his vision go dark and his scalp itch—especially since he didn't even know who would be the "Mom" in this Zerg framework.
He could accept a Red Tai-Sui's star-swallowing cannon blasting him in the head, but he could not accept becoming a "male mother."
For his spirit and personality, this was truly a bit too advanced.
But Sa'kedi understood that Gera might naturally be very fond of younglings. The other had more than once expressed envy toward the short-winged tribe where Selin lived; the male longed for a swarm of his own.
And so, he took a deep breath and patted the other with a gentle force, offering a comfort that even he didn't know if he could fulfill: "Don't worry."
He said.
"There will always be a way to solve it."
***
