The hot spring behind her continued to surge, and cold sweat poured down Qin Jiuye’s back.
Before she knew what Clear Wind Powder was, she had the fearlessness of the ignorant, treating everything as a challenge and nothing more. But now, knowing the truth behind it and hearing Zhu Fuxue reveal the reality so nonchalantly, she felt as if she had been transported back to Magistrate Fan’s torture chamber, the pool of green water appearing before her eyes once again.
“What Clear Wind Powder? Is the Sect Leader mistaken about something…?”
She could not admit to it. She could only gamble that Zhu Fuxue had no solid evidence and was merely testing her.
But Zhu Fuxue was not Qiu Ling; she never needed solid evidence.
“Shh.”
Zhu Fuxue’s icy finger pressed against her lips, and Qin Jiuye’s voice cut off abruptly.
“I’ve already had a taste of that mouth of yours. From now on, you will answer only what I ask. I am not a patient person. If you are disobedient and keep chattering away, I will have to pull out your tongue first, then knock out your teeth one by one.”
The woman’s sharp nail dug deeper into the corner of Qin Jiuye’s mouth. Cold sweat seeped from her temples. Qin Jiuye could only nod in silence.
The pressure on her lips finally vanished, leaving behind a red mark. Zhu Fuxue flashed a smile, clearly much more satisfied with her current state.
“First, tell me: why did you cure the Clear Wind Powder?”
Qin Jiuye looked at Zhu Fuxue quietly and answered word for word.
“The illness was there, so I treated it.”
Zhu Fuxue’s smile froze. The hand gripping Qin Jiuye’s ribs began to exert pressure again. She wanted to confirm whether the girl was being flippant, but she could not find an answer. She found the person before her difficult to read or see through; every word that came out of her mouth seemed suspicious, yet outside the realm of her own understanding.
Her eyes shifted slowly as she spoke again.
“‘The illness was there, so I treated it.’ A fine sentiment. You aren't the only capable physician in this world. Why do you think the others don't try to cure Clear Wind Powder, letting it become a subject the entire martial world is afraid to mention?”
Zhu Fuxue’s voice echoed in the grotto. She seemed to be asking a question, but in truth, she wasn't curious about the answer at all.
Since learning of Li Qiao’s identity and the connection between Clear Wind Powder and the First Manor under Heaven, events had followed one after another, leaving Qin Jiuye no time to think deeply about this. But she had always been sharp; the moment the question was asked, she found the answer herself.
Human nature was far more ferocious than any exotic poison or foul disease in this world.
What deterred those thousands of physicians was not the Clear Wind Powder itself, but the First Manor under Heaven that stood behind it.
Clear Wind Powder was the secret medicine of the First Manor. Developing an antidote was no different from offending the Manor—it was like climbing onto Di Mo’s neck and slapping his face. Thus, even though the most excellent physicians of Xiangliang often lived in seclusion within the martial world, none dared to do it. And it was precisely because of the silence of those physicians that Di Mo was able to use Clear Wind Powder to continuously consolidate his throne. Meanwhile, the people in that Manor suffered indefinitely, trapped in a cycle of hell with no hope of salvation.
And beyond that, there was one most important point.
The world knew that those who craved liberation and hoped to be cured were the assassins raised by the Manor. They were sinners, soulless blades, monsters stained with blood and stained reputations. Such beings were not worth saving. Even if one did not lend a hand and looked the other way, the world would not criticize them for losing their "healer's heart."
Humans escape primal evil by aspiring to secular virtues, yet they also become unprecedentedly cold and ruthless because of these social contracts. This ruthlessness is framed as absolute justice; no one can criticize it, for to do so would be to stand against justice itself.
Faced with such a problem, most people would arrive at the same answer.
If she had known from the start that such a difficult choice lay before her, would she still have made that decision?
Qin Jiuye remained silent for a long time. Seeing her expression, the woman before her could not hide the malice in her voice.
“Looking at you, you must have only just realized. For a clever person like you, now that you understand everything, don't you feel wronged? Don't you feel angry? That 'brother' of yours only cared for his own life; he never cared whether you lived or died. He was only using you. Everyone who comes out of that Manor is like that. I know them well—far better than you do.”
Zhu Fuxue stared unblinkingly at Qin Jiuye’s face, seemingly anticipating her reaction.
Qin Jiuye felt the gaze and finally understood the woman’s intent in bringing this up.
If two people’s hearts are still connected, then even across ten thousand rivers and mountains and endless hardships, they will eventually reunite. However, once the hearts are estranged, no matter how tightly they hold each other now, they will eventually go their separate ways.
Zhu Fuxue clearly understood this principle well.
She didn't need to analyze or explain any of this. She had "played" with Qin Jiuye until now only because she wanted to see her forced to face the truth—to see her regret, her pain, and even her resentment.
Even Qin Jiuye herself felt that she *should* feel that way.
In the past, when she saved people at Guoran Hall, the greatest price she paid was a few copper coins for medicine and some hard labor. But to save Li Qiao, she had unknowingly paid a price far beyond what she could bear.
Once Zhu Fuxue spread the word about the antidote for Clear Wind Powder, it wouldn't be long before the entire martial world knew. If she chose to inform Di Mo directly, Qin Jiuye would undoubtedly have no way to survive. Guoran Hall and even Dingweng Village could be turned upside down by the First Manor.
“They were a group of people beyond saving to begin with. Your antidote cannot save the people of the Manor, and it cannot save him. Even without Clear Wind Powder, his wretched life was already forfeit. Don't you regret sinking into the mire just to save someone like that?”
Zhu Fuxue’s voice drifted around her ears, carrying a light laugh that came from peering into someone’s heart.
Qin Jiuye’s lips moved. The pain in her ribs and the chaotic thoughts made it difficult to breathe. Her voice sounded incredibly strained.
“I... I did regret it...”
*That’s it.*
People close to each other turn against one another for profit; the supposedly solid bond is actually fragile and pathetic; the beloved eventually becomes a mortal enemy who betrays and hurts.
This was the rule of the world she was familiar with.
Zhu Fuxue laughed out loud, but in the next moment, she heard the girl’s voice rise again, haltingly.
“...I regretted that the rain was too heavy that day, and I didn't see clearly before I carried him back on my back. Only later did I realize I saved the wrong person and lost out on the consultation fee. I regretted that when I kept him at Guoran Hall to work off his debt, I didn't set a longer term; that way, I could have recovered more of Guoran Hall’s bad debts. I also regretted not taking the chance to make a name for myself in the city while I was at Tingfeng Hall—maybe I could have even snatched some business from the Su family. There are truly many things I’ve regretted, but...” Qin Jiuye’s lips twitched slightly as she smiled and looked up at Zhu Fuxue, “...I never regretted saving him.”
She did not regret saving him, she did not regret neutralizing the poison to extend his life, and she certainly did not regret the three months they spent together day and night.
Even though she knew he had lied to her.
She also did not regret saving the hardworking commoners of Dingweng Village who couldn't afford medicine and whose lives no one cared about. Even though she knew that everything she did was just a drop in the bucket.
Zhu Fuxue’s laughter stopped abruptly.
The thin, small woman laughed so frankly, so comfortably, and so impeccably that she instantly shattered those ugly intentions, leaving no place for the seeds of darkness to take root.
In a daze, Zhu Fuxue remembered what that traveling physician had told her long ago.
The former leader of the Luosha Sect had been freed from the bone-eroding pain of the Star Sand only because she met a physician willing to take the risk to treat her.
She thought she had survived countless agonizing flare-ups based on those words. She thought that perhaps the time simply hadn't come yet, and one day she would also meet her own brilliant physician.
But why? Why did people who were lowlier than her, who weren't worth a single hair on her head, meet such a person while she hadn't? Whether it was the uninspired former Sect Leader or the boy who betrayed the Manor, they had all met someone willing to heal them without regret. Only she had to suffer in this hell of pain, not knowing how much longer she would have to endure.
The red lotuses swayed gently in the churning hot spring, their petals red as blood, their stems suffering.
Zhu Fuxue’s foot began to throb again. Her gaze fell back onto Qin Jiuye.
Someone who could neutralize the poison of Clear Wind Powder should have no trouble relieving the agony of the Star Sand.
She couldn't wait for someone to do it willingly, but she could force someone to do it unwillingly. She would break the girl's legs and trap her in a cave until everything was settled and she herself was reborn.
“You are even more interesting than I imagined. It wouldn't be impossible to take you into my sect along with that brother of yours.”
The hand pressing against her ribs finally withdrew, and the pressure on her chest vanished. Qin Jiuye gasped for air.
However, in the next moment, the woman’s other hand climbed onto her cheek.
“It’s just that there are some parts of you that don't look quite right. Before you follow me, we need to make some adjustments.”
Zhu Fuxue’s fingers were white and slender, not looking like the hands of a martial artist at all. But when that hand pinched her jaw, the terrifying strength made it impossible to doubt that these were the hands of a sect leader.
Qin Jiuye felt the sharp nails nearly piercing her cheeks, as if they were about to tear her jaw off entirely.
“I like beautiful things. This face of yours... from a distance, it’s really nothing special. Looking closer...” Zhu Fuxue paused deliberately, then leaned in even closer, “...it’s still nothing to look at.”
A sharp pain flared in her cheek. Qin Jiuye struggled to look up. Zhu Fuxue’s face was inches away—so close that she could clearly see the black spots on the whites of the woman's eyes, like tiny insects appearing and disappearing as the eyeballs moved.
“My grandfather said the same thing since I was a child. Rotten wood cannot be carved; you can't cook a meal without rice. I think the Sect Leader should find a piece of fine jade to polish instead. It’s better than wasting time on a piece of rotten wood like me...”
Her mouth didn't stop, but her hand hanging at her side quietly moved toward the medicine pouch at her waist.
That pouch contained exotic poisons and strange medicines she had painstakingly researched for years but never had the chance to test. If the old abbot of Dabei Temple saw them, he would surely cry out "what a sin," and if Magistrate Fan of the Governor’s Estate saw them, he would recommend her as the next head of the torture chamber.
However, before she could decide which "goodies" to treat Zhu Fuxue to, the woman spoke first.
“These eyes of yours are actually quite nice. The black is black, and the white is white.”
Qin Jiuye’s hand didn't stop moving, but she squeezed her eyelids shut, thinking of the blind fortune-teller in the south of the city, wishing she could be possessed by his spirit.
“The Sect Leader must be joking. Aren't all eyes like this? My eyes were ruined from working in the village; they’ve been uncomfortable lately...”
Before she could finish, she felt Zhu Fuxue’s sharp nail poke her eyeball through her eyelid.
“Who said that? Look at how they move—so flexible. But if you're just diagnosing pulses and mixing medicines, these eyes don't seem very useful. How about I take them out for you?”
Qin Jiuye felt the nail slowly tracing the shape of her eyeball, from the inner corner to the outer edge. She didn't dare breathe. She pinched the contents of her medicine pouch between her fingertips, waiting for the moment to make a final stand.
At the critical moment, a voice suddenly rang out in the empty grotto.
“So Miss Qin is here. You certainly were hard to find.”
Zhu Fuxue’s hand paused. Her eyes shifted, her peripheral vision catching a shadow not far away.
The newcomer’s breathing was light. His internal power was unknown, but his movement was top-tier—like a gentle wind or fine rain, difficult to detect.
Qin Jiuye felt the grip on her face loosen. Her numbed cheeks were finally rescued. She steadied herself and looked up to see a young man standing at the cave entrance with his head bowed. He wasn't wearing a bamboo hat, so he didn't seem to be the Manor disciple who had led them earlier, but his clothes were the same—looking like a servant from a water town.
Didn't everyone in the First Manor want to avoid this Zhu Fuxue? Why had someone come looking for her now?
Qin Jiuye was filled with doubt and unease; Zhu Fuxue’s expression was dark; the uninvited guest remained still.
After a moment of silent confrontation, the servant walked with quick, light steps to Qin Jiuye’s side and spoke again.
“Greetings, Sect Leader Zhu. I have been sent by Chengyu of the Kunxu Sect to find Miss Qin. Please come with me, Miss Qin.”
Chengyu? Qiu Ling’s senior sister? That senior sister didn't seem to know her; why would she come looking for her now instead of Qiu Ling?
Qin Jiuye was suspicious, but more than that, she felt the relief of a narrow escape. She saw a flash of white as Zhu Fuxue slowly stepped out of the mist, looking like a spirit descending from a snowy mountain.
“Can't you see I am talking to someone?”
The servant stood motionless. Hearing this, he responded respectfully.
“Miss Chengyu has a sharp temper and is pressing for time. I dare not delay. If I have disturbed you, I ask for the Sect Leader’s forgiveness.”
From beginning to end, the servant did not look at Zhu Fuxue. He was like a soulless shell, even less significant than a messenger hawk.
Zhu Fuxue’s face had completely darkened. It wasn't that she didn't believe the servant; she simply wanted to vent her frustration at having her "playtime" interrupted.
“The Kunxu Sect certainly has a lot of nerve. That old thief Yuan Zhiyi hides away, yet he lets his precious disciple bark everywhere. Isn't that a bit too disrespectful?”
Before Zhu Fuxue’s voice even landed, Qin Jiuye saw a blur. In the next moment, a loud slap exploded in her ear; she could almost feel the wind from the palm whistling past.
“This is a reward for you on behalf of the Manor Lord. If he were here, you would suffer far more than this.”
Zhu Fuxue’s voice was soft and seductive, even carrying a hint of pity, like a lover’s whisper.
Qin Jiuye was stunned for a moment before she reacted. When she turned to look, she saw the servant had been knocked to the side, blood foaming at the corner of his mouth.
The hand strength of a martial artist was extraordinary, let alone that of the cruel Zhu Fuxue.
Qin Jiuye’s hands began to shake uncontrollably again. She could hardly imagine what would have happened if that slap had landed on her. She wanted to grab the servant and see his face, but before she could react, he had already straightened his body, wiped away the blood, and pulled his lips into a smile.
“I am only following orders. If the Sect Leader is dissatisfied, you may report it to the Manor Lord later or argue with Miss Chengyu in person.”
Zhu Fuxue rotated her wrist, seemingly too lazy to care about what he said.
For a Manor disciple, being hit was truly nothing. The suffering they would endure for failing a task was far more terrifying than a slap. Normally, she would have grown tired of such games long ago—chopping the person into pieces to feed the dogs wouldn't even be interesting—but today was different.
Zhu Fuxue’s eyes shifted toward Qin Jiuye, who stood frozen nearby.
“Hearing is hollow, but seeing is believing. I told you so much just now, yet you still look like you're made of stone. Didn't you want to see what kind of person that brother of yours really is? How about I let you see for yourself today?”
After saying this, Zhu Fuxue slowly lifted one leg and kicked off the embroidered shoe from that foot.
The crimson shoe fell into the churning hot spring with a splash and vanished. Zhu Fuxue walked toward the servant with her bare foot and whispered with a smile in his ear.
“Fish it out, and I’ll let you take her.”
Qin Jiuye stared at that cruel smile. It was hardly a human expression; it was the look of a predator toying with its prey. She wanted to say something, but all words felt pale and powerless in this savage place where the strong devoured the weak.
In a daze, she felt someone pass her and walk toward the water.
The servant, head bowed, walked quietly to the edge of the steaming pool. He rolled up his left sleeve and, without hesitation, plunged his hand into the boiling spring.
The scalding water instantly turned his arm red. The thorny lotus stems scraped against his fragile skin. An ordinary person would have been unable to bear it, yet he managed to endure the intense pain, searching through the hot pool without a single sound.
Time seemed to turn into thick, slow paste. Qin Jiuye felt as if every second was a year.
The white mist obscured her vision. After an unknown amount of time, the servant finally withdrew his hand. The bloody gashes on his forearm were shocking, but the hand holding the soaked shoe remained steady.
Qin Jiuye opened her mouth, wanting to step forward and do something, but the man walked straight to Zhu Fuxue and held the shoe out before her with both hands.
He seemed to have become exceptionally silent, as if something had been drained from him, making even his pain feel sluggish.
Zhu Fuxue took the shoe and tossed it onto the ground. Then, she reached out and wiped the water from her hand onto the servant’s lapel before looking back at Qin Jiuye.
“Well? Is he more obedient, or is your brother?”
Qin Jiuye pressed her lips tight and said nothing, but her eyes were fixed on the servant’s burned hand.
Zhu Fuxue’s voice rose again.
“He obeys you and acts submissive in front of you not because he truly cares for you, but because he was trained to be this way from birth. That isn't loyalty; it’s just obedience. He’s no different from a dog—oh, sometimes even worse than a dog. After all, dogs rarely betray their masters, but as for humans... well, one can never be sure.”
Before she could finish, the servant, who had been silent until now, suddenly spoke.
“I have retrieved the shoe as the Sect Leader commanded. Please allow me to take the person and leave.”
Zhu Fuxue’s voice turned cold again.
“You dare interrupt me?”
Before the servant could speak again, Qin Jiuye forced her legs, soaked in cold sweat, to move. She stepped forward and blocked the servant.
“First there was Lord Duanyu, and now there is Miss Chengyu. Even if Sect Leader Zhu is on good terms with the Manor Lord, you shouldn't repeatedly trample on the face of the Kunxu Sect, should you?”
Zhu Fuxue finally fell silent.
However, Qin Jiuye felt no sense of triumph. She had completely realized the savage laws of this martial world: there was always an excuse for slaughter, but weakness was the eternal original sin. Violence and oppression from those above required no reason, and those without the power to resist could only walk toward their doom.
During her days traveling the martial world, although she had suffered some hardships and grievances, she felt she could handle them. She had never hated her lack of status or the fact that she held no sword as much as she did now, forced to use the Kunxu Sect—which had nothing to do with her—just to escape.
But this was her only way out. She gambled that Zhu Fuxue was mischievous by nature but not stupid, and wouldn't invite unnecessary trouble for a moment’s pleasure.
“Fine, let’s end it here for today.” Zhu Fuxue waved her hand dismissively, then winked at Qin Jiuye. “Next time we meet, I won't let you leave so easily.”
*Then let’s try not to meet again.*
Qin Jiuye didn't even bother with pleasantries. Without a bow, she grabbed the servant and fled from Zhu Fuxue as fast as she could.
They walked a long way along the winding cave passage before she stopped, panting. She looked back to confirm the demoness hadn't followed. Only then did she breathe a sigh of relief, but her legs gave way, and she nearly collapsed. The servant quickly caught her.
His hand only lightly supported her waist before quickly pulling away, but Qin Jiuye froze.
Before she could say anything, he spoke first.
“I will lead the way for you, Miss.”
The servant fell silent after that, walking ahead with his head down. The oil lamp in his hand cast a soft glow, illuminating an area exactly three steps ahead. He maintained a distance of exactly three steps from her; if she fell behind, he slowed down until she caught up.
The air in the passage was still stifling. Combined with the brisk walk, Qin Jiuye felt sweat trickling down her neck. She reached up to wipe it, accidentally brushing her brow where the Fudi Lotus juice had touched her. She felt an unbearable itch and sting. The silent figure ahead suddenly spoke.
“The poison of the Fudi Lotus won't cause much trouble as long as it doesn't touch blood. At most, it will sting for half an hour before fading on its own. Just don't scratch it; you must endure it no matter what.”
His voice remained flat. He didn't stop walking or turn to look at her, as if he were merely relaying a trivial piece of information.
Qin Jiuye paused before whispering, “Thank you for telling me. I am a physician; I can handle it.”
He didn't reply, simply continuing to lead her forward.
After an unknown amount of time, the sweat on her neck had dried, and the servant finally stopped. Qin Jiuye stood still, carefully observing her surroundings before looking at him.
From everything that had happened, he was at least not her enemy. But one must always be wary. She had been mentally reciting the path she remembered to ensure they weren't heading somewhere even more remote.
It was just... something still wasn't right.
The servant ignored her searching gaze and spoke tonelessly.
“This is the junction leading to the Immortal’s Hiding Grotto. It is also the only way out of the Grotto of Noble Spirit. You can wait for Lord Duanyu here.”
Qin Jiuye hesitated, but finally asked the question in her heart.
“You said someone from the Kunxu Sect was looking for me. Where is she?”
The servant looked left and right, as if searching for the Miss Chengyu who had supposedly tasked him. Then he looked back and said calmly, “Perhaps she grew impatient and left first.”
If she was so urgent when looking for someone, why would she leave in the blink of an eye? Besides, anyone who had seen that scene by the floating bridge would think that Qiu Ling’s senior sister was not someone who liked to socialize or make friends.
Qin Jiuye blinked and scrutinized the servant’s face again.
He was still turned halfway away from her, showing only half his face. Aside from the swollen bruise at the corner of his mouth, his features looked somewhat delicate. But only "somewhat"—compared to *that* person...
But many things in this world cannot be confirmed by appearance alone. Sometimes two things that look similar have no connection at all, while things that seem worlds apart might actually share the same origin.
An incredible thought stirred in her heart. Before she could examine what that thought was, she instinctively asked, “Do you know me?”
The servant paused briefly, then answered calmly, “I do not know you, Miss.”
“If you don't know me, why did you just...”
If he didn't know her, why would he risk angering Zhu Fuxue to force her out of danger? If he didn't know her, why would he warn her about the Fudi Lotus? If he didn't know her, why would he lie to hide his true intentions?
“I am only following orders. I know nothing else.”
His voice rang out again, still calm and rippleless.
Qin Jiuye refused to give up and pressed further. “Was telling me about the Fudi Lotus also something that Miss Chengyu ordered you to do?”
This time, he did not answer. He simply stood there, bowed to her, and turned to leave.
“Wait.”
The girl’s urgent voice echoed through the winding cave. The figure, already three steps away, stopped. After a long while, he slowly turned around, still stooped with his head bowed.
“Does the Miss have another matter?”
Qin Jiuye stared blankly at his form, feeling her heart beat inexplicably fast. She hadn't been sure he would stop when she spoke, but seeing him do so, that strange thought became even more uncontrollable, nearly bursting forth.
She hesitated for a moment, then slowly walked toward him, stopping three steps away.
When they were about to leave the dark passage, there were more torches on the walls, but the servant seemed to intentionally stay away from them. When she caught up, he never lingered in the light. He kept his head down while talking to her, as if he never looked into her eyes.
But what he didn't know was that the oil lamp in his hand was a light he couldn't escape.
The deeper he bowed, the brighter the lamplight illuminated his jaw and downcast eyes.
That face had been made unrecognizable by some exquisite technique, and his voice was different, but those light brown eyes were the most unique existence she had ever seen. It would be hard to find another pair of eyes so passionate yet so cold, and hard to find anyone else who would look at her secretly with such a gaze.
He used his body and appearance to play a stranger, not knowing that those eyes had already recognized her.
Qin Jiuye took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart and steady her emotions.
He had indeed come to this island, though she didn't know why he had disguised himself like this. What was he doing? Was he going back to work for the First Manor? Or had that blind young master from the Treasure Mirage Pavilion found him again and used some means to make him work for him?
Her gaze moved from that blurred, strange face to the grey-blue clothes he wore, and she keenly noticed one or two inconspicuous red spots at the hem.
Whose blood was that? His or someone else’s? What had he gone through on his way to see her?
She couldn't guess the twisted truth behind it all, but she knew that neither of their situations tonight would be good.
He had his life-and-death game to play, and she had her own mission to fulfill. He was no longer the apothecary servant in the Treasure Mirage Pavilion who needed her protection—or perhaps he never had been. Since he didn't want to acknowledge her, the best she could do was maintain the status quo and stop being a burden to him.
Suppressing the bitterness in her heart, Qin Jiuye finally looked away. She glanced around to ensure no one was there, then spoke softly.
“Come here.”
An assassin of the First Manor was no teahouse servant or household lackey. Even dressed in the most humble and plain manner, he couldn't hide the heartless ruthlessness in his bones.
She shouldn't have called him like that, and he shouldn't have gone over.
But before he could even react, his feet had already carried him to her.
In the past, she had called him like this countless times in that simple apothecary. Those memories carved into his bones overrode his former nature, becoming a new command for his body that he could not avoid or escape.
Li Qiao kept his head low, hiding his turbulent eyes in the shadows cast by his hair. He used all his focus to guess what she would do next, but his mind was in such a mess that he found no answer. In the next moment, she had caught his hand hidden in his sleeve and naturally rolled it up.
Her movements were slow—slow enough for him to pull his hand back, step away, and say a few words to maintain their distance.
But he didn't move.
He couldn't move, and he didn't want to. He let her take hold of the pulse in his left hand, just as she had countless times before.
The skin burned by the hot spring had already begun to blister; it would soon become swollen, painful, and itchy. She carefully cleaned the bloodstains, then took a small, rough oil-paper packet from the pouch at her waist and placed it in his hand.
“Take this medicine. Find a place where no one is around and apply it. Don't be stingy; it’s best to apply it thickly.”
His hand instinctively tightened the moment it touched the medicine packet, but her hand quickly withdrew from his palm.
He snapped back to his senses and quickly lowered his head, whispering, “This is a junction. Although it’s some distance from the main path, people might still pass by. It’s not good to stay long. If Lord Duanyu doesn't come, walk forward for a bit, go straight through the cave ahead, and follow the small path with torches on the right. You will see the grotto where the Blade-Opening Ceremony is being held. I have other matters and cannot stay with you. Be careful, Miss.”
He said all this but remained standing there.
The Blade-Opening Ceremony was about to begin. Di Mo would soon leave the Grotto of Noble Spirit for the site. He should take this opportunity to find a way to get his master’s blade and escape before the other returned and discovered it.
But he couldn't just turn and leave her in this dangerous place. He could only wait for her to leave first.
After a long time, the sound of the girl’s footsteps finally faded, completely disappearing at the end of the dark stone path.
Li Qiao’s hand hidden in his sleeve loosened slightly. He stared blankly at the familiar rough paper packet in his palm.
He should have said: *I thank the Miss for the medicine.*
But his tongue felt as if it were cursed, unable to easily speak those polite, hollow words as he once had.
It was a long time before he turned and walked in the other direction. He had never felt that turning to leave was such a difficult thing.
For a moment just now, he had desperately wanted her to recognize him, to feel sorry for him, to hold his hand and apply the medicine herself.
But in the next moment, he was so afraid she would recognize him, question him, and ask about his identity and the purpose of this trip.
How could he acknowledge her while wearing this skin of a killer and this blurred face?
Especially after what Zhu Fuxue had said.
Zhu Fuxue had compared him to a Manor disciple. What about before he arrived? What had that madwoman said? Had she revealed his identity, or had she added fuel to the fire by listing his shameful past one by one? How had she reacted after hearing all that? Did she already regret everything she had done for him, just waiting to say they should go their separate ways when they met again?
In that long, narrow stone passage, his mind was agonizing over these questions with every step he took.
His secret was like a ripe melon, about to fall from the vine without warning, shattering into pieces with pulp and seeds flying everywhere. He couldn't restore the mess to its original state; he could only convince himself not to see it.
Back at the floating bridge, he had already been watching her from the shadows. He regretted not taking her away from that Lord Duanyu, yet he clearly knew he had no right or standing to do so.
His appearance would only bring her endless trouble. Wasn't one Zhu Fuxue enough? How much longer would he have to burden her?
As much as he wanted to be near her, he was just as afraid she would be hurt because of it.
In this life, he only knew how to endure harm and harm others. The word "protection" was too foreign to him. He couldn't compare to that man named Qiu; he could only rely on his instincts to stumble forward, trying to fulfill everything in his own way.
But the moment he saw her figure disappear into the depths of the dark cave with the guide, he suddenly realized something: if his mission failed, tonight’s distant gaze would be the last time they ever saw each other.
Whether he was hacked to death by Manor assassins while stealing the blade, killed by Zhu Fuxue in battle, or caught in a long escape after being exposed, he would never see her again.
He would disappear from her world forever. Her last memory of him would be the mess and the unpleasant parting by the shore of Lake Lixin that night. She might think he had left in a huff and never returned, or that he was an ungrateful person who had abandoned her. In a few years, she would completely forget him and live the kind of intimate, family-like life Tang Shenyan spoke of with that Lord Duanyu. And he would vanish from her life forever, like a shadow that never existed.
No, he couldn't. He still had something he wanted to give her. He still had things he wanted to say to her.
His hands began to tremble, and his breathing grew rapid. Driven by his burning emotions, he began to run after her figure, from stumbling at first to a full sprint.
But it was all too late.
Although he had managed to see her one last time, the moment Zhu Fuxue spoke, he had lost the final chance to acknowledge her forever.
Heaven had finally opened its eyes and cast someone like him out of her world.
And someone like her would live very well even without him by her side.
Fingers burned by boiling water dug deep into the hard rock. Li Qiao leaned against the stone wall and stopped. The physical pain couldn't relieve the agony in his heart even slightly, but he was more determined than ever about what he had to do.
He would plunge into that terrifying black water, face the invincible Zhu Fuxue alone, and even confront the old nightmare he had fled from seven years ago.
He would offer up everything he had.
Even if she never knew. Even if she would never wait for him to come home again.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 晴风散 | Clear Wind Powder | A secret drug/poison used by the First Manor to control its people. |
| 星砂 | Star Sand | A painful condition or poison affecting Zhu Fuxue. |
| 福蒂莲 | Fudi Lotus | A red lotus found in the hot springs, poisonous if it enters the blood. |
| 开锋大典 | Blade-Opening Ceremony | A major event involving the ritual sharpening or unveiling of a weapon. |
| 仙匿洞天 | Immortal’s Hiding Grotto | A specific location within the cave system. |
| 浩然洞天 | Grotto of Noble Spirit | A specific location within the cave system. |
| 呈羽 | Chengyu | A senior disciple of the Kunxu Sect. |
| 袁知一 | Yuan Zhiyi | The leader of the Kunxu Sect. |
| 果然居 | Guoran Hall | Qin Jiuye's apothecary/medical hall. |
| 听风堂 | Tingfeng Hall | A location or organization mentioned in previous chapters. |
| 璃心湖 | Lake Lixin | A location mentioned as the site of a previous interaction. |
