Bai Shi returned quietly. He had showered and slipped into bed, feeling Pei Cangyu give a slight shiver. He wrapped an arm around Pei Cangyu’s shoulder and kissed his ear; Pei Cangyu flinched away.
"Not asleep?"
Pei Cangyu didn't answer.
Bai Shi lifted his head and leaned in to kiss Pei Cangyu’s face, only to find it wet with tears and his eyes wide open.
Bai Shi paused and reached out to touch him. Pei Cangyu’s face was covered in tears. Bai Shi sat up to look closer.
Pei Cangyu stared blankly, expressionless, his gaze fixed on something in the distance without focus.
Bai Shi leaned down to kiss his forehead, his hand moving to his waist. Every time he touched him, Pei Cangyu would tremble.
Finally, Bai Shi gave up. He looked at Pei Cangyu tenderly. "Can't sleep?"
Pei Cangyu still didn't respond.
"Would some medicine help?" Bai Shi got out of bed to pour some water.
He brought over the sleeping pills and stood in front of Pei Cangyu, blocking the direction of his vacant stare.
"Take your medicine."
Hearing this, Pei Cangyu sat up slowly, like a robot listlessly following a pre-programmed routine.
Pei Cangyu took the pills and swallowed them obediently, then took a sip of water, holding the cup with both hands. It wasn't until Bai Shi gently patted the back of his hand that Pei Cangyu let go of the cup and handed it back.
Bai Shi said, "Sleep."
Pei Cangyu lay back down and pulled up the covers.
Bai Shi said, "Close your eyes."
Pei Cangyu closed his eyes.
Bai Shi set the cup down and lay back beside him. Watching Pei Cangyu’s trembling eyelashes, he suddenly felt a surge of irritability.
After an unknown amount of time, just as Bai Shi was drifting into a heavy drowse, he felt a movement beside him and opened his eyes.
He saw Pei Cangyu’s thin silhouette sitting at the foot of the bed, back straight and head tilted as if listening for something.
Bai Shi approached him. "What is it?"
"I hear him shouting..." Pei Cangyu turned around. His pale face and bloodshot eyes gave Bai Shi a start. Only then did Bai Shi realize that, including yesterday’s dose, Pei Cangyu had taken quite a lot of sleeping pills.
Pei Cangyu grabbed Bai Shi’s arm, bunching his sleeve into a mess, then quickly let go, trembling as he tried to smooth the wrinkles out. Bai Shi watched his movements, his brow furrowing involuntarily.
Pei Cangyu seemed afraid to touch him anymore. He swallowed hard and pointed outside. "Do you hear it? ...I can't understand what he's shouting..."
Bai Shi took his hand gently. "He’s dead, baby. Dead people don't shout."
Pei Cangyu shook his head stubbornly. His eyes instantly filled with tears; he didn't even realize he was crying. Before today, Bai Shi hadn't even known Pei Cangyu could cry like this.
He felt an inexplicable pang of heartache, and his mind suddenly flashed back to middle school—to a day when it felt like something had been hollowed out of Pei Cangyu.
He didn't know what to say. For a rare moment, Bai Shi hesitated because, ultimately, he had no way to handle Pei Cangyu like this.
But if he really thought about it, this was only happening because an uninvited guest had intruded upon their peaceful life. As long as tomorrow’s banquet went ahead as planned, things would return to normal.
With that thought, he pulled Pei Cangyu back into bed and soothed him, telling him everything would be fine tomorrow.
Pei Cangyu shook his head in his arms, saying the noise outside was too loud, too noisy.
Bai Shi looked down at him. Pei Cangyu’s hands were twisted together, pulling at his own fingers so hard it looked like he might rip them off.
Bai Shi gently pried his hands apart and watched him for a while.
"I hear it too."
Pei Cangyu snapped his head up.
Bai Shi said, "We need to light a lamp. He says it’s too dark."
Pei Cangyu looked at him with a sense of profound relief. "Really?"
Bai Shi nodded.
Pei Cangyu became slightly excited. "Then let's go light a lamp for him!"
Bai Shi stood up, and Pei Cangyu followed.
And so, after committing a murder, Bai Shi went to the burial site and switched on an orange lamp. The light glowed against the pale blue of the dawn. It was 5:37 AM, the time when birds began to chirp, their calls rising and falling in waves from near and far.
There were only a few hours left for sleep.
Bai Shi led Pei Cangyu back, and the exhausted man finally lost consciousness for a while.
The banquet was in the evening, but they woke up late.
Three o'clock in the afternoon.
***
The sky was overcast today; it looked like rain.
After Pei Cangyu woke up, he sat for two minutes, processing what had happened. He couldn't quite describe the feeling. He didn't remember what had happened later last night, but to his surprise, every time he recalled the blood, he felt a bit steadier.
He decided to think about the long term.
He took a cigarette from the nightstand and lit it, saying nothing. He was fully awake now. He smoked in silence, puffing quickly. Ash gathered at the tip and crumbled onto his lap. He frowned deeply but didn't react.
When Bai Shi returned from outside, he saw Pei Cangyu still staring at the yard, toward the place where the man was buried.
Attempting to bring up a lighthearted topic, Bai Shi walked in, deliberately raising his tone.
"It’s a pity we picked today. If it rains, we won't be able to have the barbecue."
He walked up to Pei Cangyu, who looked up at him.
Bai Shi was startled by that look. The fragile nightmare of last night had completely passed; Bai Shi hadn't expected Pei Cangyu to have such a cold gaze.
"What time?" Pei Cangyu crushed the cigarette butt out against his own leg, then gathered the ash and threw it into the trash along with the butt.
Watching his movements, Bai Shi felt that Pei Cangyu had changed somehow, as if he had undergone a complete transformation. He answered instinctively.
"Eight o'clock."
"Fine. Let's get ready." Pei Cangyu stood up, kicked the trash can aside, and headed for the kitchen.
Bai Shi followed. "You need to dress formally."
Pei Cangyu didn't look back. "You prepared something for me, didn't you?"
Bai Shi paused at the bluntness of the remark, then nodded.
Pei Cangyu opened the fridge and started taking things out. "You cook, I'll assist. What do you want me to do?"
Bai Shi thought for a moment. "Peel the carrots."
Pei Cangyu picked out the carrots from the pile of supplies on the table, picked up a knife, and began working earnestly.
Bai Shi glanced at him while preparing the food. Pei Cangyu was expressionless and seemed calm, but Bai Shi keenly noticed one major change: Pei Cangyu’s movements were steady.
It wasn't that Pei Cangyu had been clumsy before, but he usually carried a sense of restlessness, as if he couldn't settle down. This had been especially obvious during this trip; everything he did was tinged with nervousness, and he habitually looked for the reactions of others—mainly Bai Shi.
But now, that habit had vanished instantly.
"What are you looking at?" Pei Cangyu asked plainly, his hands never stopping.
Bai Shi turned away.
The first wave of guests arrived at 7:35 PM.
Bai Shi greeted them with polished politeness, moving with a natural composure and navigating the social waters perfectly. Pei Cangyu, wearing an extremely well-fitted shirt, stood near the stairs and gave the guests a slight nod.
Laces whistled the moment she saw him, earning a sharp glare from her mother. She stuck her tongue out and quickly ran to Pei Cangyu’s side, showering him with compliments on how handsome he looked. Pei Cangyu didn't understand a word, but he smiled politely.
As more guests arrived, waiters began serving drinks. Pei Cangyu stood his ground, occasionally giving a simple greeting to those passing by. Bai Shi must have already explained the situation, as no one went out of their way to strike up a conversation with him.
Meanwhile, Bai Shi stood with a group of men, discussing current affairs.
Seeing the crowd grow, Laces felt it was perhaps time to leave Pei Cangyu’s side so as not to block him. Just as she stepped away, Pei Cangyu grabbed her hand.
Based on their long acquaintance, Laces immediately understood his meaning.
"You want me to stay with you?"
So Laces remained by Pei Cangyu’s side. Even when Satino came to call for her once, she didn't leave. Satino, after being rebuffed, turned and walked toward Bai Shi. The two of them looked over together; it seemed she had only come over at Bai Shi’s request.
Laces stood there, unsure of what Pei Cangyu intended to do, but she noticed his gaze repeatedly flickering toward the utility room on the first floor.
Suddenly, Pei Cangyu gave Laces a tug and tilted his head, signaling for her to follow.
Laces followed him to the utility room, and Pei Cangyu pushed the door straight open.
Inside, a boy of eighteen or nineteen was changing clothes. He was a hired waiter for the banquet, responsible for the 7:30 to 8:30 shift, and was now leaving to go drink with friends.
He was startled by the intruders and held his clothes up to cover himself. When he realized it was one of the hosts, he felt even more embarrassed.
Pei Cangyu turned to Laces and gestured.
Laces looked at him in disbelief, then at the boy, and translated: "Take off your clothes."
The boy’s eyes went wide, and he covered his chest even more tightly. Laces translated the second half of the sentence.
"Swap with him."
The boy hesitated; the request made no sense to him.
Laces continued, "Go stand by the stairs where he was. Stay there until 9:30."
Then the boy saw Pei Cangyu expressionlessly pull a stack of cash from his breast pocket.
Laces was even more shocked than the boy.
Pei Cangyu handed the money to the dumbfounded Laces, who passed it to the boy, adding her own comment: "...The denominations are a bit large; you'd better go get some change..."
The boy swallowed, looked down at himself, then at Pei Cangyu, and realized they were of similar build.
He nodded and began to change. Midway through, he curiously asked Laces how Pei Cangyu had picked him—had he been waiting long?
After Laces spent some effort describing the question to Pei Cangyu, he tapped the staff list provided by the agency on the wall, which included photos, heights, and weights.
Laces felt a surge of admiration; she realized Pei Cangyu could read quite a bit now. He was clearly making progress.
They quickly finished changing, and Pei Cangyu slipped out with Laces. He stole a glance at the boy standing in his place; the boy was positioned exactly as instructed, at an angle where Bai Shi couldn't see him clearly.
Pei Cangyu glanced at Bai Shi again. Bai Shi was chatting effortlessly with the crowd, but every so often, his eyes would drift toward Pei Cangyu’s usual spot.
To be honest, Pei Cangyu had noticed this long ago—as far back as middle school when they had to stand in a line to recite texts. Bai Shi would constantly look at him, leaning forward slightly past the people between them. It was incredibly obvious.
The band was performing; a cello solo was playing, amplified through speakers, the sound filling the room.
Pei Cangyu turned his gaze toward the back door. No one was there; he could walk straight out.
Laces gestured to ask where he was going. Pei Cangyu pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and showed it to her. Laces recognized it as the address of a hotel. She offered to take him there, but Pei Cangyu shook his head, indicating he knew the way.
So, this was goodbye.
Laces thought.
She looked down and kicked at the floor. Pei Cangyu squeezed her shoulder, signaling they could walk together for a little longer. Laces looked up and smiled, then pointed toward the boy standing in his place and shrugged. She had to go back there so Bai Shi wouldn't get suspicious.
Pei Cangyu didn't know what to say; he wanted to express his thanks. Laces smiled and quickly ran off without even a proper goodbye.
Pei Cangyu watched her leave, then turned toward the back door.
It didn't matter. There were many people here; he could just cut through.
Cut through the crowd.
Bai Shi wouldn't see.
When he reached the same horizontal line as Bai Shi’s position, Bai Shi wasn't looking in his direction.
Success.
Pei Cangyu almost reached the door.
Someone bumped into him. The person said something that, by instinct, he knew was "Sorry."
Without thinking, Pei Cangyu replied, "It's okay."
But at that exact moment, the band’s soaring music reached its climax and cut out. The entire room fell into a dead silence. That "It's okay" was audible to everyone, but only two people could understand it.
Bai Shi’s head snapped around a full hundred and eighty degrees. His face was a mask of pure disbelief.
His eyes locked with Pei Cangyu’s.
Pei Cangyu’s first instinct was to run, but out of fear of Bai Shi’s madness, he didn't dare move recklessly. He watched the shifting, unreadable expression on Bai Shi’s face, his nerves stretched to the breaking point.
The band was about to start a new piece. Bai Shi’s hand tightened around his glass. He stared fixedly at Pei Cangyu, but addressed the crowd: "It’s over. Go home."
His voice wasn't loud, but everyone faltered and looked over, confused as to why he would suddenly say such a thing in the middle of a perfectly good party.
Bai Shi continued to glare at Pei Cangyu, repeating himself with a menacing edge: "Get out."
The crowd began to murmur. They were willing to leave, but they were waiting for Bai Shi to offer a smiling explanation—even a simple "Sorry for the trouble" or some random excuse. After all, the people present weren't exactly the type to be summoned and dismissed like servants.
As if finally realizing they were still lingering, Bai Shi stopped staring at Pei Cangyu and swept his gaze over everyone. He was extremely impatient, his voice carrying a suppressed, violent rage: "Can't you hear me?"
People began to leave. Security opened the doors, and waiters handed out coats and umbrellas.
Pei Cangyu and Bai Shi stared each other down until they were the only two left in the room.
In the house where the noise had faded into a mess of wreckage, streamers lay twisted on the floor, a cello from the band had tipped over, and the food on the tables looked picked over and hollow. In the empty house, the ticking of the second hand echoed.
Bai Shi’s "normal life" was a pathetic joke.
He threw down his glass, letting it shatter, and walked toward Pei Cangyu.
Pei Cangyu didn't flinch, looking up at him defiantly.
Bai Shi grabbed his wrist. "Let's go."
"Where?"
"To the next place."
Pei Cangyu kicked Bai Shi hard in the leg and landed a punch squarely on his face. "Go to hell! You're coming back to go to jail with me!"
Bai Shi blocked a few punches, then found an opening and slammed a fist into Pei Cangyu’s head. Stars exploded in Pei Cangyu’s vision; he knew Bai Shi was serious now.
But he was, too.
This fight had been coming for a long time.
***
