They reached the other side of the border at three in the afternoon. By five, they had found a random motel, parked the car in a hurry, and headed to a roadside fast-food joint to wolf down a table full of food.
The waitress was a stout woman with thin, slightly pursed lips, looking utterly impatient. With one hand on her hip and the other tilting a coffee pot over their mugs, she sized them up without the slightest pretense of discretion. She had a very long neck that gave her a comical look as she turned her head back and forth.
Pei Cangyu didn't look up at the waitress once; he was too busy devouring his meal.
Bai Shi was clearly more refined. Frowning, he flipped through the wrappers on the table with little interest, inspected the food critically, and only ate a few fries.
After finishing a plate of pasta, Pei Cangyu noticed Bai Shi hadn't eaten. He shook his head and urged him, "Eat up, Young Master. How are you going to commit arson and kidnapping if you have no strength?"
Bai Shi looked up at him and took another sip of coffee. "I have no appetite."
"Sigh, I know you don't, but a man is made of iron and food is his steel—skip a meal and you'll feel the ordeal. Since you've chosen this path of trials and tribulations, you have to see it through to the end. Otherwise, what? We could just turn ourselves in. At home, you have everything you want, and prison food is actually pretty good; I saw it on the news before the New Year..." He rambled on for a while, only to find Bai Shi still frowning.
"Are you feeling unwell?"
Bai Shi’s voice was very low. "I might have gone past the point of hunger."
Pei Cangyu scratched his cheek. "So you're so hungry that you can't eat even when there's food?"
Bai Shi nodded.
Pei Cangyu paused. "Then what do we do?"
"We'll go buy some medicine in a bit."
"Alright." Hearing this, Pei Cangyu felt his own appetite vanish. It was better to go buy the medicine quickly.
Bai Shi also felt it was best to leave as soon as possible. After five-thirty, the shop began to fill up, and he didn't want to attract too much attention.
A light rain was falling when they stepped outside. Pei Cangyu looked up; there was no moon in the dark night, but he could see heavy clouds gathering. A downpour was likely on the way.
Pei Cangyu pulled up his hood and reached over to pull up Bai Shi’s as well. Bai Shi lowered his head slightly to cooperate. Pei Cangyu gave him a light pat. "Put it on yourself."
Bai Shi could read the road signs, so Pei Cangyu simply followed him. They went to a small pharmacy with a gaudy sign of white characters on a red background. A plastic mannequin stood by the door, nearly life-sized, holding a basket in one hand containing some money, and a few masks and band-aids in the other.
Bai Shi pulled the door open and went in. The owner looked up from behind the counter, then lowered his head to continue flipping through his newspaper.
Pei Cangyu waited for him at the counter.
The owner was a man in his sixties with a bald patch, chewing on a smoking-cessation stick and reading the paper with a disgruntled expression. After a while, he realized someone was staring at him and turned to meet Pei Cangyu’s bright, intense gaze as he leaned against the counter.
The owner asked him what he wanted in an unfriendly tone. Pei Cangyu didn't understand, so he just kept staring with a faint smile.
The owner slammed the newspaper onto the table, his hand already reaching under the counter as he repeated himself. Pei Cangyu maintained the same posture and expression, looking for all the world like a lunatic.
The owner stood up, intending to throw this strange person out, just as Bai Shi finished his purchase and hurried over to intervene. Pei Cangyu didn't know what Bai Shi said to explain, but seeing him point to his own head, he guessed it wasn't anything flattering.
In the end, the owner didn't do anything to them, and Bai Shi paid a little extra.
Finding a small motel was an easy task. As long as one wasn't picky about the location, the neighbors, or the environment, a city always had room for those on the decline.
The motel they found exuded an air of illegality from the very entrance. It was tucked away in a narrow alley where dirty water trickled out; a yellow light flickered deep within, illuminating a protruding sign.
Bai Shi was feeling unwell, and since this place was close to where they parked, he chose it.
Pei Cangyu clicked his tongue. "Are you sure? Can you actually stay here?"
Bai Shi wasn't satisfied with the place at all, but he really didn't want to sit in the car anymore, and he seemed to be running a fever. He nodded.
The alley grew narrower the further they went. After five or six meters, the small motel appeared on the left. A red light glowed inside. The door curtain was very light; Pei Cangyu walked in first and held it open for Bai Shi.
A small man sat behind the counter, looking to be in his thirties. His black hair was slicked back with far too much oil, and his eyes were swollen like blisters, giving him the look of someone who indulged in too much vice. A woman sat on his lap wearing a slip dress, the straps sliding off her shoulders. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her fingers playing with the stray hairs at the back of his head as the two whispered together, foreheads pressed close.
They were startled when the pair entered. The woman jumped up quickly while the man straightened his clothes.
Only when they realized it was just two customers did the man relax. He rolled his eyes and asked in English, "How many nights?"
Pei Cangyu found that he could understand.
Bai Shi said two nights. The man stood up to grab keys from the rack behind him. He took two, but before he could turn around, Bai Shi told him: one key, one room.
The man turned back, looked at Bai Shi, then at Pei Cangyu, and gave an ambiguous smile. He tossed one key back and handed over the other.
As they walked away, Pei Cangyu looked back to see the woman fluttering back onto the man's lap.
Bai Shi could barely hold himself together. The moment they entered the room, he rushed into the bathroom and began to vomit. Pei Cangyu was startled; he finally realized that Bai Shi was indeed truly ill.
He knocked on the bathroom door, asking if he needed anything. Bai Shi didn't answer. He emerged a while later, having clearly washed his face. His wet hair clung to his skin, his lips were slightly purple, and his face was even paler than before.
Pei Cangyu had already boiled some water and handed him a cup, his tone clipped. "Take your medicine."
Bai Shi looked at the cup, took it, and sat down in a chair. Pei Cangyu draped a blanket over his shoulders—his movements weren't particularly gentle—and brought the bag of medicine over. Only then did Bai Shi realize he had been caught in the rain; no wonder he felt waves of heat and cold. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself.
"Isn't it strange?" Bai Shi muttered, staring at the hot water. "Why must medicine be taken with hot water?"
Pei Cangyu reached out to feel his forehead. "Are you feverish?"
Bai Shi nodded obediently twice.
Pei Cangyu put his rain-soaked jacket back on. "I'll go buy a thermometer and some food. You..."
He didn't finish his sentence because Bai Shi threw off the blanket, lunged forward, and grabbed him, dragging him back into the room and throwing him onto the bed.
Pei Cangyu stared at him in surprise. "I wasn't planning to run."
Ignoring him, Bai Shi moved the chair so it faced Pei Cangyu directly, a step away from the door. He sat down and watched him without moving, blocking the way.
Pei Cangyu let out a long sigh. "Really?"
Bai Shi said nothing.
Pei Cangyu sat still, and Bai Shi sat still across from him. Finally, Pei Cangyu lowered his eyes and sighed helplessly. He took off his jacket, tossed it on the floor, and looked at Bai Shi, whose face was clearly flushed with fever. "At least take the medicine first."
***
Outside, a torrential rain began to fall, accompanied by lightning and thunder. After a sudden flash lit up the horizon, a rolling boom of thunder followed immediately.
Pei Cangyu leaned against the window, looking out and chatting with the heavens. "Rain right after the heat, huh? You've got quite the personality, don't you?"
Dazed, Bai Shi looked up at him, thinking he was being spoken to.
Pei Cangyu walked over to him. "Sleep for a bit."
Bai Shi slowly shook his head.
Pei Cangyu sat in the chair next to him, and Bai Shi’s head turned to follow.
Having taken the medicine, his face was even redder now, perhaps from being bundled up. His hair was no longer dripping, having been brushed back by Pei Cangyu. There was a layer of mist in his eyes that made him look somewhat innocent; that face could not be associated with ferocity right now. Furthermore, Bai Shi looked to be in terrible spirits. He was shivering slightly, his eyes were unfocused, and he looked like he had no strength left—as if he might collapse onto the floor at any moment, held up only by a single breath of sheer will.
Pei Cangyu looked at him. "You didn't sleep much when we were back there, did you?"
Bai Shi didn't deny it.
"I thought you would always be like that." Pei Cangyu looked down at his own hands. "Hyper-alert."
Bai Shi swallowed hard and slowly reached for the water. He took a sip, looking as though even the act of swallowing was a struggle.
Pei Cangyu didn't know what to say. Bai Shi was incredibly fragile right now. This fever had come on with a vengeance; he could feel the overwhelming pressure of the illness just by looking at him.
Bai Shi trembled slightly, his gaze drifting like a lost child. His face was flushed and his lips were even redder, making his complexion look strikingly vivid. When he had dragged Pei Cangyu back earlier, there had been a sense of fierce beauty about him, more oppressive than usual, carrying a hint of "taking you down with me" that made him even harder to deal with.
Pei Cangyu tucked a stray lock of hair behind Bai Shi’s ear as he drank, then pulled him up to his feet and led him toward the bed. "Come, lie down for a bit."
Bai Shi followed him blankly, his footsteps stumbling. Pei Cangyu caught him, but he was too heavy; Pei Cangyu lost his balance, and they both tumbled onto the bed, with Bai Shi landing on top of him.
Bai Shi had no strength left. Pei Cangyu pushed him aside onto the mattress, hauled him up a bit, and then pulled the blanket over both of them. He saw Bai Shi’s eyes snap shut for an instant, nearly falling into a deep sleep, only to force them open again the next second, struggling to stay awake. This made Bai Shi’s eyes even redder, and physiological tears leaked out as he squeezed his eyes shut and open.
Pei Cangyu turned to face Bai Shi, who was staring up at the ceiling. The ceiling had a checkered pattern, and the southeast corner was leaking, water dripping onto the floor with a rhythmic, steady sound.
Pei Cangyu looked at Bai Shi’s profile and stroked his hair. "Go to sleep. Aren't you tired?"
The lines of Bai Shi’s face tightened. He continued to blink slowly but firmly. "I'll start from when I was little. When I was eight years old..."
Pei Cangyu suddenly felt a pang of sadness. "Don't force it."
"Let's start with the family members first," Bai Shi said, acting as if he hadn't heard.
"You're going to fall asleep eventually. It's only a matter of time..." Pei Cangyu’s fingers tangled in Bai Shi’s hair, idly twirling it.
Bai Shi said word by word, "I won't."
Even though he could hear the sound of his muscles straining every time he blinked, and even though his eyes ached every time he opened them, he felt his mind was like a dark wilderness. The sun had long since died, leaving only a single lamp lit. He thought obsessively that if the lamp went out, he would die too; it wouldn't be "sleeping for a bit" as Pei Cangyu said. He held on with that thought.
But he was gradually losing.
He felt the lamp growing dimmer and dimmer. He wasn't falling asleep; he was actually fainting. He should have lost consciousness long ago. In a panic, he reached out and grabbed Pei Cangyu’s hand. He gripped it with such force that it hurt, but Pei Cangyu didn't make a sound.
In his haze, Bai Shi saw Pei Cangyu sit up, which made him grip even tighter. He grew anxious and tried to prop himself up on his elbows, but Pei Cangyu just lightly tapped his shoulder, and he fell back.
Pei Cangyu pried Bai Shi’s fingers off his hand one by one. Bai Shi’s expression was like someone watching a mountain crumble, powerless to stop it.
Pei Cangyu gave a forced smile. "It was bound to happen. You're too tired."
He watched as Bai Shi gritted his teeth and sat up, grabbing his collar. Pei Cangyu pried his hand away and slowly stood up. Bai Shi moved toward him, nearly falling off the bed.
Pei Cangyu steadied him. "I'm not planning to leave."
Bai Shi didn't hear him, or perhaps he heard but didn't believe. He was a mess; his face was even redder, his pale body flushed and burning, his eyes bloodshot. He hammered his fist against his temple because of the constant ringing in his ears. He couldn't stand up at all. During their previous "peaceful life," he had perhaps only slept an hour or two a day. He had maintained that for so long, keeping his nerves taut every day to deal with both Pei Cangyu and outsiders. He was almost burnt out. This exposure to the sun, the rain, and the fever were all catalysts.
He might still fail to hold on.
Pei Cangyu watched as Bai Shi struggled to crawl from one side of the bed, grabbing the hem of his shirt. He looked up with an expression that screamed he was certain Pei Cangyu was about to flee, and said fiercely:
"One day, we shall meet again on the road to the Underworld."
Having said his piece, he fainted. His head hit the edge of the bed, and his hand went limp, hanging down like a robot whose plug had been pulled, its stored energy completely exhausted.
Hearing this nonsensical final sentence, Pei Cangyu felt so helpless he almost wanted to give a bitter laugh. Then he remembered something—that "Notebook of Good Words and Phrases" of Bai Shi's. He still hadn't found it.
He moved Bai Shi back onto the bed, covered him with the blanket, and sat at the foot of the bed to smoke a cigarette.
***
