Pei Cangyu stared at Bai Shi, watching the smile fade from the other man’s face until it was replaced by a guarded expression. He couldn't tell what Bai Shi was nervous about, but the heavy silence made Pei Cangyu feel awkward. He felt as though he was the one at fault, putting too much pressure on Bai Shi.
Pei Cangyu scratched his head and tried to find the right words. "I mean... what I’m trying to say is, look, we haven't seen each other in a long time. To be honest, I think we had a pretty good relationship back in middle school, don't you think? Hehe."
Bai Shi didn't say a word, watching Pei Cangyu with a calm gaze.
"So," Pei Cangyu steeled his resolve, "I hope you’ll just be straight with me. Don't hide things. After all, I really do consider you a friend, you know?"
His burning gaze met Bai Shi’s with total sincerity. To an outsider, it might have looked like he was forging some grand, solemn covenant. His tone and choice of words were tinged with a lingering sense of *chuunibyou*, a byproduct of being isolated from society for too long.
Bai Shi narrowed his eyes and spoke slowly. "Is it because I’m gay? Or because I used your voice to masturb—"
Pei Cangyu lunged upward, clamping his hand over Bai Shi’s mouth to cut him off. He spun around, looking left and right in a panic. "Watch your mouth!" he hissed.
Bai Shi obediently let him cover his mouth, blinking at Pei Cangyu with a look of utter incomprehension.
Pei Cangyu sat back down and gulped some water, glancing at Bai Shi. "How can I make you understand?" He looked genuinely frustrated.
Bai Shi watched him patiently. He didn't interrupt, nor did he try to help Pei Cangyu organize his thoughts. It was as if Pei Cangyu’s confusion had nothing to do with him—or perhaps, the more confused Pei Cangyu was, the better.
Something occurred to Pei Cangyu, and he suddenly looked up. "Ah, how about this? We’re friends, right? So, why do you think I’m your friend?"
Bai Shi stared at him. "Are you sure this question will eventually help you clarify what you’re trying to say?"
Pei Cangyu waved his hand impatiently. "Just say it. I used to get top marks on my argumentative essays. I know what I’m talking about."
So, Bai Shi spoke: "*C'est mon ami parce que je l'aime parce que c'est mon ami.*"
Pei Cangyu: "..."
Bai Shi: "."
"You’re doing that on purpose, aren't you?"
Bai Shi looked at him innocently. "What’s wrong?" He tapped his chin. "I’m trying to think of the best way to translate it. I feel like the sentiment changes once it's translated."
Pei Cangyu: "..."
Bai Shi pulled out his phone. "Maybe I can find a translation app..."
Pei Cangyu ruffled his hair in frustration and slumped onto the table, feeling deathly annoyed. Bai Shi was being too much; it was infuriating. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, but communication with Bai Shi was impossible.
Bai Shi continued scrolling through his phone. "How about this app? I haven't used it before, but the ratings seem good..."
Pei Cangyu snapped. He sat up, reached out, and grabbed Bai Shi’s wrist. "Fine! Yes, I’m annoyed! I’ve wanted to say this from the start! We haven't seen each other in years. Were you always like this? You suddenly show up, talk about dealing with the police, make me stay at your house... is even one out of every ten words you say the truth? I just want to know what the hell you’re after! Why did you take me to that video hall to watch that kind of stuff? Why all these games? Don't you know I hate that kind of thing?" Pei Cangyu leaned closer to Bai Shi’s face. "You’re practically..."
He stopped because Bai Shi was looking at him with a pitiful, wounded expression, offering a cautious apology. Specifically, he said: "I’m sorry, but people are staring at you. There might be a misunderstanding here, but everyone is looking..."
Every sentence he spoke was followed by a reminder that people were watching. Pei Cangyu immediately felt like he was sitting on a bed of needles. He let go of Bai Shi’s hand and sat back, wishing he could bury himself in the ground. Only then did he realize just how shameless Bai Shi was. The man showed no sign of guilt; his voice didn't drop an octave—if anything, it got louder. Pei Cangyu tried to pull him away to pay the bill, but Bai Shi refused to budge, saying that if they didn't clear things up today, they shouldn't go back, because they’d only keep fighting.
Pei Cangyu started breaking into a cold sweat.
He moved to sit right next to Bai Shi, trying to keep their conversation strictly between the two of them. The students at the table behind them stared blankly, though they didn't forget to pull out their phones to film the "gay couple" fighting in public. Pei Cangyu glared at them. "What are you looking at?! You want to lose those eyes?!"
The student tucked his phone away and silently turned around.
Pei Cangyu lowered his voice. "So, what I mean is, your behavior is practically..."
"What?" Bai Shi’s eyes were sparkling as he stared at him.
"It’s practically bullying me!" Pei Cangyu declared righteously.
Pei Cangyu swore to heaven that when that sentence echoed in his head, it sounded a thousand times more majestic. He hadn't expected it to come out sounding so much like a grieving widow's lament. It immediately made Bai Shi, who had looked so pitiful a moment ago, burst into laughter.
Sure enough, Bai Shi’s "pitiful" act had been fake. Pei Cangyu looked at him and thought: *This guy is truly wicked. He definitely wasn't like this before.*
Pei Cangyu licked his lips awkwardly. He surrendered. He had no moves left against Bai Shi. Fine, let him act. He didn't care anymore.
Bai Shi stopped laughing, though he was clearly still holding it in. "Anything else you want to say?"
Pei Cangyu hung his head gloomily. "I don't know what you’re so happy about... Why bother? You don't even like me, so why put on an act..."
Bai Shi froze. "What?"
"I mean," Pei Cangyu rubbed his face, feeling exhausted, "you probably don't even realize it yourself. Liking to tease someone is different from actually liking them. Most people figure that out in elementary school."
Bai Shi struggled to process this, speaking slowly. "You mean... everything I’ve done isn't because I like you, but because I *think* I like you?"
Pei Cangyu nodded. "What else could it be? You wouldn't be doing this on purpose, would you?" He didn't believe anyone could be that malicious. That would be too cruel.
Bai Shi fell silent.
After a moment, he let out a long, slow sigh. "You..."
Just as Pei Cangyu turned to look at him, Bai Shi pulled him up and paid the bill. "Let’s go."
As they left, Pei Cangyu glanced back at their table. Bai Shi’s portion was almost untouched. *See? He doesn't even like the food. Why insist on coming? Wouldn't it be better to just be clear? It would save food, too.*
They walked back along the riverbank. Bai Shi remained silent. Pei Cangyu pursed his lips and continued his explanation. "Actually, I can understand why you picked me. I was probably your only friend in middle school. When we met again, you probably thought, 'Ah, I’m a changed man now. Why not show an old classmate how much I’ve grown? I’m a composed gay man now.' I totally get that thought process. And I’ve seen it—you’re a very successful gay man now. I even saw you on TV today!"
Pei Cangyu patted his shoulder, like a basketball coach encouraging a player about to hit the court. The force of it made Bai Shi sway slightly.
Bai Shi stopped in his tracks and turned to look at him. "You’ve been guessing all this time, and that’s the conclusion you came up with?"
Pei Cangyu looked at Bai Shi’s expressionless face. "If I’m wrong, you can tell me. If you don't speak, how am I supposed to know what you’re think—"
He didn't finish his sentence because Bai Shi used a finger to tilt his chin up slightly, leaned down, and kissed him on the lips.
On the riverbank swept by the evening breeze, in the shadows between the streetlights, willow branches brushed against their backs. Bai Shi smelled faintly of tea, like the scent at his desk—a room bathed in warm yellow light, hot tea prepared late at night, the sound of a ticking second hand in the silence. The sense of comfort was so strong it almost made Pei Cangyu want to close his eyes. Passersby only spared them a glance. The music in the square was changing tracks, and in that moment of silence, Pei Cangyu clearly heard his own heartbeat, louder than Bai Shi’s.
Bai Shi’s tongue licked across his teeth. His fingers pinched Pei Cangyu’s face, forcing his mouth open, his tongue pressing inward with a violent force that almost made Pei Cangyu feel pain.
Pei Cangyu finally snapped to his senses. He pushed him away and took a step back, staring at him with wide eyes.
The two of them stood in a silent standoff.
Bai Shi’s face was perfectly calm.
The former middle school classmates looked at each other from a step apart. Pei Cangyu couldn't understand Bai Shi at all, and Bai Shi looked like he couldn't understand him either. Standing across that chasm, Pei Cangyu suddenly regretted everything. He shouldn't have laid his cards on the table. He should have just let things be; it would all be over soon anyway. Why go looking for trouble?
The wind blew on, indifferent to their plight. Whether it was the moment of a kiss or the eve of a fallout, the wind remained the same.
Someone bumped into Pei Cangyu’s shoulder from behind. He stumbled forward and was caught by Bai Shi. The person who passed by barked impatiently, "Dammit, you blind?!"
Then he locked eyes with Pei Cangyu, and both of them froze.
Pei Cangyu recognized him as one of Gao Qian’s associates. The man looked from Pei Cangyu to Bai Shi.
Panic seized Pei Cangyu. If this guy was here, then Gao Qian...
He frantically turned his head to look. In the distance, he saw Gao Qian smoking in a pavilion in the square, surrounded by a group of people. The man who had bumped into him was clearly heading to join them. Gao Qian was currently staring in Pei Cangyu’s direction. There was no telling how long he had been watching or what he had seen.
Gao Qian noticed Pei Cangyu looking and gave a wave from the shadows. From this distance, only the movement was visible.
Pei Cangyu grabbed Bai Shi. "Let’s go."
Bai Shi blinked. "Are we done fighting?"
Pei Cangyu turned back irritably. "Are you going to be annoying? I said let’s go."
Bai Shi followed. Once Pei Cangyu saw him walking beside him, he let go of his hand. But Bai Shi looked at his sleeve, now free of Pei Cangyu’s grip, and stopped moving again.
Pei Cangyu looked at the sky and sighed. "You are seriously so annoying."
He grabbed him again, and only then did Bai Shi start walking.
Pei Cangyu thought nervously: *From that position, even if they saw something, they might not have seen Bai Shi’s face. The problem is the guy who bumped into me. He might have seen Bai Shi. Will he tell Gao Qian?*
*Trouble... those guys are completely shameless. Who knows what they’ll try to pull...*
Bai Shi followed behind him and asked, "Did something happen? Do you know that guy?"
Pei Cangyu’s fingers were getting tired from clutching the sleeve, so he gripped Bai Shi’s wrist instead. He realized he had to use a bit of strength just to wrap his hand around it; the guy had really filled out.
"Don't ask. It has nothing to do with you anyway."
Bai Shi looked displeased. "..."
"They’re just thugs, okay? Thugs!" Pei Cangyu explained frantically. "I mean it literally—it has nothing to do with you! I didn't mean anything else!"
Bai Shi smiled.
Pei Cangyu threw his arm back. "Can't you walk on your own?!"
Bai Shi reached back and grabbed Pei Cangyu’s wrist. His large hand easily encircled it. "Not really."
Pei Cangyu slapped his own forehead and lamented, "I’ve never been in such a troublesome romance!"
...
Then, having said it, he froze in his tracks.
The wind continued to blow. It didn't care that Pei Cangyu’s heart was plunging like a roller coaster or that his thoughts were twisting like a maze. It was always just the same wind.
And people simply brought misery upon themselves. All the previous tension now seemed like nothing more than a one-sided tantrum thrown by Pei Cangyu.
Bai Shi looked at him with a beaming smile.
***
