The classroom, following the end of the autumn trip, was permeated with a lingering exhaustion. Yawns rose and fell, spreading like a contagion from one side of the room to the other.
Pei Cangyu slumped over his desk, lifting his eyelids to look at Bai Shi. "Why aren't you sleepy?"
Bai Shi looked back at him, appearing quite energetic. "Are you very tired?"
Pei Cangyu nodded. Bai Shi asked again, "How many hours do you sleep a day?"
"Hmm..." Pei Cangyu thought for a moment. "About seven or eight hours. You?"
Bai Shi did a quick mental count. "Four hours."
Pei Cangyu sat bolt upright. "Every day?!"
"More or less."
Pei Cangyu’s eyes lit up. "That’s badass. What do you do if you’re not sleeping?"
"I just space out."
To Pei Cangyu’s ears, that meant something else entirely. A look of sudden realization dawned on his face. "So that’s why your grades are so good. It’s because you don’t sleep..."
The math teacher walked in with a beaming smile, a stack of exam papers tucked under his arm. His entrance immediately triggered a chorus of wails and howls from the students. Piggy nudged the person in front of him. "Hey, close the door. Don't let the teacher in."
The teacher stepped inside, chuckling. "Young man, you certainly have a vivid imagination."
Pei Cangyu raised his hand. "Teacher, we’re too tired. we can't do an exam."
The teacher stroked his chin. "Young man, how can you grow if you don't challenge your limits?"
Amidst a sea of complaints, the papers were distributed. Before long, the sounds of dejection faded, replaced by the rhythmic scratching of pens or the snores of those who had simply given up.
Pei Cangyu hadn't given up, but his brain was mush. The equations looked like alien hieroglyphs. He bit his fingernails and glared at the paper with a furrowed brow, as if he held a deep, personal vendetta against the test.
Finally, he let out a long, theatrical sigh and collapsed onto the desk to sleep.
The student sitting behind Bai Shi kicked his chair. At first, Bai Shi didn't notice, but as the kicking grew louder and more persistent, he realized what was happening. Just as he started to turn around, the person behind him shoved him back. "Don't turn your head."
The person continued, "Hey, write down the answers for the multiple-choice, 6 through 10."
Bai Shi acted as if he hadn't heard and continued with his paper.
The person kicked twice more, making Bai Shi wobble. "Hurry up, 6 to 10."
That commanding tone made Bai Shi’s scalp tingle, as if an electric current had surged through the top of his head. A sudden sharp pain shot through the hand holding his pen, causing him to drop it. The person behind him kept kicking.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
For no apparent reason, Bai Shi felt a sudden, throbbing headache. He crumpled his exam paper into a ball, stood up abruptly, and slammed it into the classmate’s face. Grabbing the boy by the collar, he pulled him close. His teeth ached, twisting his expression into something distorted. "Don't. Touch. Me."
The entire class turned to look. The classmate stared at Bai Shi; that usually expressionless face was now a sickly ashen gray. The sound of grinding teeth filled the air—it wasn't directed at the classmate, but seemed more like Bai Shi was enduring some internal agony. He wouldn't stop grinding his teeth.
Pei Cangyu woke up and rubbed his eyes. "Crap, why is everyone looking at me..."
Then he realized they weren't looking at him. He turned his head in a daze, but Bai Shi had already released the classmate and walked straight out of the room.
Pei Cangyu looked down and saw Bai Shi’s exam paper. Overjoyed, he picked it up. "I can't believe my luck..."
But as he got a clear look at the distorted drawings on the paper, his smile froze. He rotated the paper, trying to identify them. "What the hell is this supposed to be...?"
Bai Shi returned after class. He walked in with his head down and apologized to the student behind him, claiming he’d had a sudden stomach ache. The classmate also apologized quickly, saying he hadn't meant anything by it and was just asking—he certainly hadn't intended to cause trouble. He even stole a glance at Bai Shi’s "boss," Pei Cangyu. But Pei Cangyu was completely out of the loop, busy catching up on last week's homework. He spared a single glance before returning to his work.
Bai Shi sat back down, looking listless.
During the next period, Pei Cangyu propped up his textbook to hide himself, hunched over, and turned to whisper to Bai Shi, "What was that about earlier?"
Bai Shi replied crossly, "Didn't your friends tell you?"
"...They said you’ve finally got the guts to hit people." Pei Cangyu laughed, his eyes crinkling into crescents. "You're moving up in the world, Bai Shi."
Bai Shi turned to look at him, then propped up his own book. He leaned toward Pei Cangyu. "If you had to rank them, which of those friends are you closest to?"
Pei Cangyu blinked. "Huh?"
Bai Shi glared at him. "Hurry up."
"..." Pei Cangyu leaned away. "That’s boring. I’m not ranking them."
Bai Shi fell silent. He lowered his book, flipped to the page the teacher was discussing, and began listening intently.
Pei Cangyu glanced at him and pursed his lips. He thought, *No, I can't keep spoiling him. If he wants to be mad, let him be mad.* He also lowered his book and focused on the lesson.
A moment later, Bai Shi passed him a piece of paper. Pei Cangyu unfolded it to find a grid drawn on it, with an 'X' at a certain intersection.
Bai Shi looked at him. "Your turn."
Pei Cangyu understood immediately. Paper Five-in-a-Row—his specialty.
He pulled out a black pen and filled in a circle next to the 'X', then handed it back.
As they played, their heads drew closer until they were almost touching. Pei Cangyu’s luck was unbelievably good; he quickly connected five in a row. "Got it! I win!" he whispered excitedly.
Bai Shi looked confused. "How did you win?"
Pei Cangyu traced his five circles with the pen. "See? Five."
Bai Shi’s brow twitched. "Go! This is Go!"
"Why didn't you say so!" Pei Cangyu looked down, intending to continue, then suddenly remembered: "Dammit, I don't know how to play Go!"
***
"The old master has consulted the stars and determined it shall rain tonight." Feiji sat on the windowsill by Pei Cangyu’s desk, gazing outside.
Apple rolled his eyes. "You don't need to consult the stars for that. Even the ants know it's coming."
Pei Cangyu grabbed Piggy. "Are you done yet? It’s my turn, my turn..."
Piggy was playing a handheld game, his thumbs moving non-stop as he dodged to one side. "Almost, almost..."
Monkey was sitting in Bai Shi’s seat, meticulously peeling a tangerine. "Where’s Bai Shi?"
"He hasn't come back from lunch break yet. Probably went home to eat," Pei Cangyu told him, continuing to crowd Piggy.
"Hey, I wanted to ask this morning—what happened to him during the test?" Feiji sat down with a gossiping expression and nudged Pei Cangyu.
"The guy behind him wanted to copy his answers."
Feiji asked, "And then?"
"And then what? Then I made the guy apologize to Bai Shi." Pei Cangyu frowned, looking very serious, though mostly because of the game's progress. "Good students must care a lot about that kind of thing, right, Apple?"
Apple stared at Pei Cangyu. "Actually, I noticed yesterday. What happened to your face?"
"My face?" The others crowded around, staring at the mark left by Bai Shi’s bite.
Piggy reached out to touch it. Pei Cangyu hissed in pain and took the opportunity to snatch the game console away.
"Speaking of that, that damn Bai—" As soon as Pei Cangyu thought about being bitten, his anger flared. But the words "Bai Shi bit me" got stuck in his throat. He felt... he couldn't say it. It felt incredibly weird.
"Bai?" Everyone waited for him to finish.
"Bai—I mean, I just took a fall for nothing," Pei Cangyu said. "Smashed my handsome face into this state."
Piggy laughed. "How did I miss seeing you look that stupid? Call me next time."
Apple frowned, reaching out to touch it. "That’s from a fall? I don't buy it."
"Hey, get lost." Pei Cangyu waved his hand. "Stop bothering me."
The pre-class bell rang, signaling ten minutes until the start of the afternoon lessons. Everyone was supposed to return to their seats, but the group around Pei Cangyu’s desk—except for Monkey—lingered. It was then that Bai Shi returned to the classroom.
Pei Cangyu had finally reached a boss fight in the game and only spared a glance at the returning Bai Shi. Piggy stood behind Pei Cangyu, staring at the screen; Feiji reluctantly closed the window; Apple prepared to head back to his seat. The classroom was still a mess of noise.
Bai Shi sat down without taking off his backpack. He stared at the desk and suddenly asked Pei Cangyu, "Hey, what do you think about gay people?"
Pei Cangyu was too busy gaming to even look up. "Don't know. Never met one."
Piggy turned to look at Bai Shi. "Who is? Someone in our grade?"
Feiji leaned in too. "Is it that sissy from Class 9?"
Apple stopped leaving. "The one who did the pole dance at the sports meet?"
Piggy blinked. "That was a guy?"
Bai Shi took off his backpack. As he opened it, something fell out.
Feiji’s sharp eyes immediately spotted a neatly folded envelope with a heart drawn on it. He began to hoot, quickly picking it up and waving it in the air. "Hey, hey, hey, hey!!!"—it seemed that was the only word he could manage.
Then he slapped Pei Cangyu a few times. "Look, look, look!!!"
Pei Cangyu irritably spared a glance before returning to his game. "What is it?"
Feiji announced solemnly, "This is obviously a damn love letter!"
Piggy draped an arm over Apple’s shoulder as they both looked at Bai Shi. Bai Shi looked at Feiji. "Give it to me."
Pei Cangyu stopped playing. He picked up a piece of bread he hadn't eaten yet, prepared to tear open the wrapper, and leaned over. "A love letter? For who?"
Feiji pointed at Bai Shi.
Bai Shi repeated, "Hand it over."
Pei Cangyu snatched the letter from Feiji and gave it back to Bai Shi, but he crowded close. "Who is it? Someone from our class?"
Apple pointed into the air as he deduced, "Definitely not from our class. If they could text, they wouldn't need to write a letter. It means she doesn't have Bai Shi’s contact info."
Pei Cangyu patted Bai Shi. "Which girl? Do I know her?"
Piggy leaned forward. "Is she pretty?"
Faced with their sparkling eyes, Bai Shi opened the letter. "It’s a guy."
The four of them: "..."
Bai Shi repeated, "A guy gave it to me."
At that moment, Piggy, who was still holding Apple’s shoulder, silently let go.
Pei Cangyu saw Bai Shi open the letter and leaned in to see what was written. Bai Shi didn't hide it, leaving it spread out.
They looked. There was only one sentence: "I like you." Following that, the entire page was covered in drawings of genitals, vulgar collages, pornographic images cut from magazines, the eyes of anime characters, and a single feather.
As they looked, their brows furrowed. This bizarre confession only made them feel uncomfortable.
Pei Cangyu snatched it away, flipped through it, and then asked Bai Shi, "He gave this to you this morning?"
Bai Shi nodded.
"Did he say anything else?"
Bai Shi thought for a moment. "No."
"Why did you even take this?" Pei Cangyu frowned, tossing the thing onto the desk. "Is this person sick?"
"He insisted on giving it to me..."
Pei Cangyu flipped through it again and saw a name at the end. It was the character 'Lu.'
"Who’s this...?" Pei Cangyu turned to the other three. "Do you guys know him?"
Apple pointed at the indentations on the paper, leaning in close to inspect them. "Looks like he’s from Class 5. I can make out 'Grade 9, Class 5' in the imprints. Or maybe Class 6."
"Ah, there’s a guy named Lu in Class 5," Feiji, the social butterfly, added. "Pretty tall..."
"Unacceptable!" Pei Cangyu stood up abruptly. He had already conjured an image of a hulking brute cornering the small, pale Bai Shi in broad daylight, forcing a letter on him and acting like a perverted bully.
Pei Cangyu patted Bai Shi’s shoulder. "Wait here. Big brother is going to go teach this idiot a lesson."
With that, he grabbed the love letter and his uneaten bread and marched toward the door.
Piggy jumped off the desk to follow. Feiji whistled to Monkey, "Screw class, let's go!" Apple followed to join the excitement. Bai Shi turned his head to watch Pei Cangyu’s back, which looked exceptionally heroic at that moment.
Pei Cangyu headed straight from Class 2 to Class 5. On the way, he encountered two people in the hallway arguing over whose turn it was to sweep, blocking the path. Pei Cangyu waved them off. "Move."
The two took one look at him and stepped aside. Students from Class 2 noticed the commotion and poked their heads out. The two sweepers ran back to their own class to report, and soon their classmates gathered at the door. For some reason, a large crowd had formed behind Pei Cangyu, even though many of them probably didn't even know where they were going; they were just greeting each other as they walked. Heads popped out from every classroom to watch Pei Cangyu’s formidable procession.
Leading the way, Pei Cangyu reached the door of Class 5. A boy loitering by the door grinned when he saw him. "Isn't this Pei Cangyu? Who are you looking for?"
"Is there someone named Lu in your class?"
"Lu?" The boy thought for a second, then said, "Yeah, yeah, there is."
He pushed the door open and shouted as he walked in, "Lu Ban, Pei Cangyu is looking for you."
The boys in the class immediately began to hoot and holler. One boy waved at Pei Cangyu and walked to a single desk in the middle of the back row, pointing at the person sitting there. "That’s him!"
Pei Cangyu walked over and looked at the tall boy hunched in his seat.
He was tall, yes, but incredibly thin—thin as a strip of cloth. His school uniform was worn sloppily, exposing a shoulder. His hair was long, covering his eyes and burying his neck. He was trembling, not daring to look up, his hands like skeletal claws clutching his sleeves.
Pei Cangyu looked up at the boy who had pointed him out. "His name is Lu?"
The boy nodded and simultaneously slapped the tall boy hard on the head. The sound was exceptionally loud. "Hey, Pei Cangyu is calling you. Is your name Lu or not?"
The tall boy didn't make a sound after being hit; he just nodded.
Pei Cangyu looked around at the class. Everyone was watching for entertainment. Another boy approached and shoved the boy named Lu. "What’s wrong with you now? Did you eat shit again?"
Pei Cangyu frowned. He pushed away the hand that was shoving the boy and flipped through the boy's books. His name was Lu Mingban.
"Lu Mingban," Pei Cangyu called out. The boy lifted his head.
His long bangs made it hard to see his eyes, but it was clear he was very pale. His chin was smooth, without even a hint of stubble. His face was clean, but his lips were bright red and trembling.
Pei Cangyu gripped the letter in his left hand, then tossed the bread in his right hand onto the desk. "This is for you."
Everyone around them froze. Piggy leaned in. "Pei Cangyu, are you okay?"
Lu Mingban’s lips moved slightly as he whispered, "For me?"
Contrary to his appearance, his voice was quite deep and resonant. He looked a bit older than the rest of them.
Pei Cangyu gave a stiff nod. "Yeah, for you. Have you had lunch?"
Lu Mingban nodded.
"Then... eat it as a snack."
Pei Cangyu turned around coolly and pulled Piggy along. "Let's go."
"Oh." Piggy followed him out.
They left behind a bewildered Lu Mingban and a crowd of onlookers who still couldn't figure out what had just happened.
Bai Shi watched Pei Cangyu return through the back door, still clutching the letter, looking disgruntled as he slumped into his seat.
Bai Shi glanced at him. "How did it go?"
Pei Cangyu hesitated, then said, "Tell you what, if he comes looking for you again, let me know. I'll find a time when no one else is around to talk to him."
Bai Shi looked at him and smiled.
Pei Cangyu frowned. "What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing."
***
It did indeed rain.
Bai Shi declined to walk with Pei Cangyu and the others, saying his family's driver was coming to pick him up. After the bell rang, he went to the gymnasium.
The gym was empty at this hour. Bai Shi stood on the dark badminton court, closed his umbrella, and watched the rain outside grow heavier. Water dripped steadily from the umbrella in his hand.
"...You came..."
A low, raspy voice came from behind him.
Bai Shi turned around. The tall Lu Mingban walked over, his back hunched as if he were trying his best to shrink himself down to fit in with people of this age group.
Bai Shi threw the letter onto the floor.
Lu Mingban flinched. "Are you angry? ...Are you angry or not?"
Bai Shi looked at him. "I told you he would come looking for you for my sake."
Bai Shi had received the letter that morning. During the break, he had gone to find Lu Mingban, and they had eaten lunch together. They hadn't said much; most of it was Bai Shi explaining, "I'm not like you, someone will stand up for me," trying to counter Lu Mingban’s assertion that "I think you’re just like me."
So, after Bai Shi had smiled earlier, Lu Mingban nodded. "Yeah, but he didn't do what you said... he didn't hit me."
Bai Shi curled his lip irritably. Seeing Lu Mingban pull out that familiar bread—the one that had belonged to Pei Cangyu—made him even more annoyed. "Give it here. It’s mine."
Lu Mingban pulled back. "He’s a good person..."
Bai Shi had a headache. He ground his teeth. "Shut up."
Lu Mingban understood immediately. He fell silent. "I told you, we’re very similar in this regard."
He pulled out Bai Shi’s exam paper, which he had retrieved from the trash—the one from that morning covered in bizarre, twisted lines.
"These... are they yours?"
Bai Shi lazily lifted an eye.
Lu Mingban pointed to a certain spot where an eye had been drawn with artistic precision. "This... is it that Pei Cangyu’s? I noticed as soon as he came today... it looks just like his eye... you drew it so accurately..."
Bai Shi’s grip on his umbrella tightened.
"I told you we’re similar in this way. I understand," Lu Mingban said, his voice rising slightly. "This is very dangerous."
"All deep passions are fraught with violence," Bai Shi quoted casually, offering it as a condescending explanation before changing the subject. "I’ve heard of you."
Lu Mingban lowered his head.
Bai Shi continued, "After all, being dragged from one end of the stairs to the other by your father and beaten in front of the whole grade... it’s normal for everyone to remember."
Lu Mingban said nothing.
His alcoholic father, short on cash one day, had come to the school specifically to demand money from his son. When he didn't get it, he flew into a rage and began beating him, dragging him from one end of the hallway to the other past every classroom door, until the teachers stopped him. Lu Mingban’s terrified face had been reflected in every window; he had seen his own pathetic state, his hair being gripped, through the eyes of his classmates. He had been dragged like a dog while the whole school watched.
Bai Shi summarized, "How could I possibly be like you?"
Lu Mingban whispered, "I’m sick."
Bai Shi looked at him impatiently. "Everyone is sick. People are born—"
"Not that." Lu Mingban pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. He had brought it specifically to show Bai Shi. "The kind of sickness with a diagnosis. A doctor saw me..."
Bai Shi stared at him.
Lu Mingban began to scratch his hair neurotically, pulling so hard he nearly tore a patch out. "I don't want to do anything, but sometimes I feel a desperate need to act. But before I’m halfway done, I suddenly lose all my strength, all my will. I have to stop. If I don't stop, I’ll die. I can't control it..."
Bai Shi turned back to watch the rain, listening to Lu Mingban drone on about his symptoms.
Lu Mingban cautiously approached Bai Shi. "We’re very similar. You should go see a doctor too..."
Bai Shi stared out the window and spotted Fei Zuohua, who didn't have an umbrella, standing under the main building.
Bai Shi tilted his head toward Lu Mingban but didn't turn around. "Are doctors useful?"
Lu Mingban fell silent.
The corner of Bai Shi’s mouth quirked up. "Then you should just set a schedule. Work when it’s time to work, and lie still when it’s not."
"It sounds simple... but I don't know what I should be doing..."
"Listen to me." Bai Shi stared out the window and saw Pei Cangyu returning, holding his phone, walking toward Fei Zuohua.
*Dammit, did Fei Zuohua actually call Pei Cangyu?* Bai Shi frowned.
"What do you mean, 'listen to you'?"
Lu Mingban’s buzzing in his ear was starting to drive Bai Shi mad.
Fei Zuohua stood up and stepped under Pei Cangyu’s umbrella. The two of them began walking toward the school gate.
Bai Shi’s brow furrowed. *So many friends. Dammit, Pei Cangyu has so many friends...*
"So, what does 'listen to you' mean?" Lu Mingban asked persistently.
Bai Shi turned his head sharply and glared at him with a fierce intensity. "'Listen to me' means I will tell you what to do. Every moment you are alive belongs to me. When you don't have the strength for anything else, you can go die. Understand?"
Lu Mingban blinked. "What if I suddenly don't want to move?"
"No. You must move."
"When can I stop?"
"When school ends, or when work is over."
Lu Mingban seemed to be genuinely considering this. "When can I be free?"
Bai Shi waved his hand irritably and picked up his umbrella. "When you retire."
"But I don't know..."
Bai Shi clicked his tongue and clenched his fist, his knuckles cracking. His mind wasn't on this conversation at all. He gave Lu Mingban a cursory glance. "That’s why I told you to listen to me."
He shook the rainwater off his umbrella and walked out. Lu Mingban stood in the dark, empty gymnasium, staring at Bai Shi’s retreating back. For some reason, he felt a sudden, inexplicable sense of security.
***
