The second mock exams were over.
"Is there anything good at the cafeteria today? After a whole day of testing, I feel like my soul and my stomach have both become empty." Jiang Wei rubbed his belly, hanging himself shamelessly over Tang Zihe’s shoulders.
At the beginning of the second semester, Tang Zihe and Shen Yannan had both received their competition results and notices of recommended admission. They had been summoned to the principal's office to be showered with praise by various department heads. Finally, a photographer had been called in to snap several sets of photos of them, intended for this year’s admissions brochure.
With that, the two of them were completely relieved of the pressure of the Gaokao, becoming objects of both envy and jealousy for the rest of the class.
To give themselves something to do, they had become the private on-campus tutors for Xia Shan, Ding Banfan, Yang Xiangtong, and Tang Wanbai, generously dedicating all their time—aside from when they were dating—to this service.
As for why Jiang Wei wasn't among them—
"Forget it. I’ve already done enough of the school’s practice problems. Don't make me do any more papers. Let your boyfriend live a few years longer."
And so, he had decisively rejected Tang Zihe’s invitation.
In the second semester of senior year, things other than practice problems and exams were both many and few.
After all, they had lost the eligibility to participate in school sports meets, basketball games, and other activities; they could only lean on the windowsills during breaks to watch the excitement. However, they had been herded out of school for a collective pep rally a hundred days before the Gaokao, which counted as a brief day of rest. It was said there would be a coming-of-age ceremony later, but everyone found it hard to spare the mental energy to look forward to it.
"My parents have been asking me every other day if I’ve thought about my future direction. It’s driving me crazy..." Since the start of the semester, Xia Shan had been frequently heading to Class Two to find Xu Qian. Now, he had directly pulled Xu Qian into their "mealtime family." The eight of them perfectly occupied one large table. "Have you guys decided what majors you want to apply for?"
Yang Xiangtong was the first to shake her head.
"I’d quite like to major in media, but I haven't discussed it with my parents yet. I don't know what the final result will be," Tang Wanbai poked her plate with her chopsticks. "I guess I can only apply for it if I do well this time."
"I haven't thought it through yet, but I’m more curious about what majors our two recommended geniuses are planning to take?" Xu Qian asked with a smile.
Tang Zihe shook his head, but Shen Yannan said without hesitation, "Chemistry, obviously."
"My brain can only remember chemistry facts. If I applied for any other major, it would probably be the death of me."
"That’s true," Jiang Wei was amused. "You probably put all your superhuman skill points into chemistry."
"Right? What about you?"
"Me? I’ll probably go into medicine," Jiang Wei thought for a moment. "I quite like kids. If possible, I’d like to be a pediatrician."
"When did you decide to go into medicine?" Tang Zihe asked with feigned nonchalance during their post-meal stroll.
"A long time ago, I think... seventh grade?" Jiang Wei answered honestly. "As for the reason... there isn't really one. Maybe it’s just... genetics dictated that I’d like it."
Tang Zihe fell silent as well. After a long while, he said, "Then I’ll go into Law."
In many ways, compared to Shen Yannan, Tang Zihe was a perfectly conventional "good student."
For instance, even after securing his recommended admission, he still dutifully participated in every school exam. Shen Yannan, on the other hand, would slip away as soon as a quiz started, and could only be found again during evening self-study.
"If only you’d learn from Shen Yannan and skip the exams sometimes," Jiang Wei sighed, leaning on his desk. "Then I could finally experience what it feels like to be ranked first in the grade."
"You've been experiencing what it feels like to have the person ranked first in the grade. What are you dissatisfied with?" Tang Zihe rubbed his boyfriend's head, find it somewhat funny.
*Well, thank you very much for that,* Jiang Wei sighed silently in his heart.
When exactly did Tang Zihe stop being that boy who would blush at the slightest provocation?
This guy’s conversational tactics were getting wilder and wilder; Jiang Wei could no longer win against him.
"Brother Shen, you’re leaving again this afternoon? I don't remember there being an exam today." Xia Shan watched Shen Yannan’s rapid pace as he packed his bag and couldn't help but doubt his own memory.
"Am I the kind of person who only runs when there's an exam?" Shen Yannan arched an eyebrow. "Who says you can't skip class if there's no exam?"
Xia Shan: "..."
"Just kidding. I got permission from Manager Shi. I’m going to the hospital for a follow-up check-up this afternoon."
"Is that... still not better?" Xia Shan was a bit hesitant when bringing up this topic, afraid he might accidentally poke at Shen Yannan’s sore spot.
"Not yet, but it’s improving. It’s fine," Shen Yannan reached out and squished Xia Shan’s face, forcing a smile out of him. "Don't look at me like that. It’s a fair trade."
"After all, heaven has given me so many gifts in life. It’s only natural that it takes something back." Shen Yannan waved to the two in the back row. "I’m off. My boyfriend is waiting for me at the school gate."
the trace of emotion and admiration that had welled up in Xia Shan’s heart instantly vanished into thin air at that last sentence.
Who could take him away from this world filled with public displays of affection! He couldn't take it anymore!
"You lied to your teacher and said you were going for a follow-up?" Lu Zisheng asked with a slight smile, looking at the hall pass in Shen Yannan’s hand. "You just had a check-up recently. Your teacher didn't get suspicious?"
"It doesn't matter if he’s suspicious," Shen Yannan shrugged. "Where is he?"
"Properly settled and awaiting your arrival." Lu Zisheng opened the car door and made a "please" gesture.
"I’ve finally waited for this day," Shen Yannan licked his lips, a grin spreading across his face. "To be honest, I’m getting a bit excited."
"Me too."
***
"Your coming-of-age ceremony is in a week. You can start preparing in advance. It will be held on the school playground, and your parents will be invited to attend."
Manager Shi announced this major news during evening self-study.
"So, you must show your best spirit for this once-in-a-lifetime event and leave yourselves with a beautiful high school memory."
"Does that mean I can't stay up late anymore?" Xia Shan rubbed his eyes. "Otherwise, if I show up with panda eyes to see my parents, they’ll probably suspect I’ve been up to something illegal."
Jiang Wei wanted to offer a word of comfort like "it won't come to that," but thinking of Xia Shan’s parents, he found he couldn't say it.
It could be said that the "miraculous" impression of the Xia family was already deeply etched into his mind.
"Teacher, do we have to wear school uniforms?"
"Of course."
"What’s the general process for the ceremony?"
"That’s a secret for now. We want to give you a surprise."
"Teacher, will the parents be there the whole time?"
"The parents will arrive two hours later than you, but they’ll essentially be there for the whole thing."
Students raised their hands one after another to ask questions, and Manager Shi answered them one by one. There was a sense of fervent anticipation for the coming-of-age ceremony.
Jiang Wei listened listlessly from below, having very little interest in the topic.
Tang Zihe knew why.
When all the other children could stand beside their parents for this important milestone, Jiang Wei might not even see a shadow of his own family.
That massive psychological gap...
However, the students' anticipation only lasted for one evening. By the next morning, the joy was once again diluted by exam papers.
To everyone's surprise, the first person to buckle under the long-term pressure was actually Xia Shan, who usually joked around with everyone.
Xu Qian was the first to notice the abnormality.
Xia Shan often sighed during the few minutes it took to cross the playground back to the teaching building after lunch. But if asked, he would quickly wave it off and say it was nothing.
Until one time, when Xu Qian came out of the Student Union room and happened to find that Xia Shan wasn't in the classroom for the noon break.
He eventually caught Xia Shan on the rooftop of the teaching building, his eyes downcast.
"I knew you’d be here." He walked over and sat down next to Xia Shan.
In his memory, the rooftop floor shouldn't have been cleaned for a long time, yet he didn't feel the expected thick layer of dust when he sat down.
Xia Shan just glanced at Xu Qian and didn't speak.
"The environment here is much better than I imagined. You’re quite good at picking spots," Xu Qian patted his hands and started the conversation without ceremony. "So, whether it’s a relationship problem or a study problem, I’m willing to sit here and chat with you."
"What relationship problems could I possibly have?" Xia Shan couldn't help but retort.
"So it’s a study problem?"
Xia Shan didn't speak, so Xu Qian took it as a silent confirmation.
"If you can't solve it, then don't go to class this afternoon. Anyway, the teachers are just making you do papers now," Xu Qian said. "Just think of it as a break. I’ll take you out for BBQ."
"How can I do that?!" Xia Shan’s voice suddenly doubled in volume. "I already can't keep up with them... and if I go... rest, won't the gap just get wider and wider?!"
"When the time comes and you all get into your ideal universities, and I’m the only one left, what will I do?!"
Xia Shan covered his face with his hands. His voice sounded exhausted, yet carried an uncontrollable agitation.
Xu Qian suddenly understood what was going on with Xia Shan.
"But you’ve already worked hard enough, haven't you?" he said slowly. "And who are 'they' that you’re comparing yourself to?"
"Tang Zihe? Shen Yannan? Or Jiang Wei?" He shook his head slowly. "Then the wish you want to achieve is far too ethereal. We are completely different from them."
"There are always some people in this world who become the rare few in everyone's eyes. They are envied, jealous of, and become role models for some and thorns in the side for others. But no matter what, their light is too dazzling, so much so that it always casts a wide glow over the people around them—like you, and like me. They become watchtowers in the night for some, and a piercing sun in the hearts of others, because for most ordinary people, they are simply too far away."
"But we are different," Xu Qian said, smiling to himself. "We are just one of the millions of ordinary students every year. Our futures won't be as smooth as a fairy tale, so we can only do our best to work a little harder, to struggle a little more, wanting to get as close to the sun as possible—forgetting that the torches beside the sun are also the easiest to be overlooked."
"But even if all we can do in the future is use the torch in our hands to light up and warm one person, a few people, or even a small group..." Seeing that Xia Shan was listening intently and that his goal of comforting him had been reached, he couldn't help but rub the other’s lowered head. "We shouldn't overlook everything we’ve put in up to this point ourselves."
"So, we don't need to keep ourselves tensed on the edge of a cliff every single second. We can relax once in a while—for example, do you want to go eat some BBQ before coming back to keep working, Student Xia Xiaoshan?"
The tears that Xia Shan had been moved to shed were silently sucked back in.
"I never realized before how good you are at ruining the mood..."
"So, are we going?"
"Yes. I want to eat garlic eggplant."
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
二模 | Second Mock Exams | The second of three major practice exams before the Gaokao.
保送 | Recommended Admission | A system where top students are admitted to university without taking the Gaokao.
招生简章 | Admissions Brochure | Official school publication for recruiting students.
誓师大会 | Pep Rally / Oath-taking Ceremony | A formal event to boost morale before the big exam.
成年礼 | Coming-of-Age Ceremony | A ceremony celebrating students turning 18.
施总 | Manager Shi | A nickname for the class teacher, Teacher Shi.
干饭 | Chowing down / Mealtime | Slang for eating heartily.
狗粮 | Dog food | Slang for public displays of affection (PDA).
蒜蓉茄子 | Garlic Eggplant | A popular Chinese dish.
