After conducting a thorough check on Yan Zheng’s side, Ajiao took the opportunity to gather her four old acquaintances—Cunmo and the others—for a meeting. She hadn't realized the extent of their changes until she saw them, and the sight was quite a shock.
Cunmo, Jishu, and Xizhu had all been orphaned girls under a death contract; when they eventually married, they had all adopted the surname Chen. Only Guanyan had reclaimed her original name, Shen Xu’er.
Now, Cunmo’s family ran a large medical hall that supplied medicinal herbs to the palace, and she had sent her second son, Song Zhen, into the Imperial Medical Department as an Assistant Physician. Shen Xu’er had married a merchant named Yan; using the commoner status Ajiao had once bestowed upon her, she had sent several of her sons into the Huben Guards. Later, her daughter Yan Zheng had been selected as a "Lady-in-Waiting" to enter the palace. Jishu’s husband had been a Huben Guard in his youth and had even accompanied the Emperor’s carriage; he was now an Assistant to the Commandant of the Guard with a salary of a thousand *dan*. Their son and daughter were both married, and the son served as a Chariot and Horse Gentleman. As for Xizhu, she had married a minor official who was now an Assistant to the Minister of Justice; they had one daughter who had married a Gentleman-of-the-Palace.
Ajiao: "..." *I feel like everyone is living a better life than me!*
The four of them remained in constant contact, as close as they had ever been. When Ajiao told them to look out for Yan Zheng and her unborn child in the future, they all agreed repeatedly.
After a long session of reminiscing, Ajiao had to return to Liu Che to soothe his temper. The Emperor’s hair turning white overnight had caused no small amount of panic. Fortunately, Liu Che was iron-fisted and forbade anyone from discussing it.
However, the mouths of the people are hard to stop, and unsavory rumors still leaked out, eventually drifting back to Chang'an.
One rumor claimed the Emperor had found a new beauty whom he couldn't bear to leave, dallying with her day and night. It was said he had not only neglected the once-favored Lady Chen but had even sent her back to Changmen Palace to be granted death. Another said the Emperor had dreamt of Empress Chen, and upon finding a new beauty the next day, believed her to be the Empress’s returning soul; thus, he not only doted on the newcomer but also granted posthumous honors to his late wife. Yet another claimed Empress Chen’s resentment would not dissipate, and she was so enraged by the Emperor sending Lady Yan into her former residence, Changmen Palace, that she attempted to harm the Emperor in the night, only to be subdued by Master Huan.
The "subdued" Empress Chen could only marvel at these tales. Truly, unofficial histories and rumors were far more exciting than the reality she witnessed.
The men Liu Che dispatched had already arrived at Changmen Palace. They placed Chen Wan’s body in a coffin to be sent back to Weiyang Palace for the funeral rites. He even specifically ordered Liu Bo and Liu Run to wear mourning clothes and perform the lamentations. Looking at Liu Run, who had grown even thinner, Ajiao realized with a pang that she had somehow forgotten about the girl.
Traveling back and forth between the imperial procession and Changmen Palace every day was boring her to death. Recently, Liu Che had begun to value his life more dearly, and his interest in the pleasures of the bed had cooled significantly. This left her with nothing to do but lie around in the carriage all day. She felt she might as well go back to Changmen Palace to play cards!
Within a few days, the Emperor’s carriage reached Wan County in Nanyang Commandery. The Grand Administrator, the Commandery Assistant, and various clerks all came to receive the procession. Ajiao hid in the carriage, quietly lifting a corner of the curtain to peek outside.
In the past, she had never had the chance to come out like this.
They moved on to Shengtang County, where they offered sacrifices to Emperor Shun at Mount Jiuyi and ascended Mount Tianzhu. From beginning to end, Ajiao could only watch from the side, invisible.
To be fair, when Liu Che was being serious and not plotting against people, he was quite attractive. Taking advantage of the fact that no one could see her, Ajiao wantonly stroked his face.
*Alas, he really has grown old.*
Continuing the journey to Jiangling in Nan Commandery, it was already the first month of spring. Ajiao had thought the southern tour would end there and they could return to Chang'an, sparing her the constant back-and-forth. To her surprise, Liu Che told her they were to travel from Jiangling to Xunyang, then board a ship to sail down the river to the coast, before heading to Fenggao to perform the sacrifices to Heaven.
"Just kill me. I don't want to keep running between two places anymore," Ajiao groaned, collapsing onto the carriage seat and clutching Liu Che’s robes.
"Be good. This was decided long ago. Who told you not to prepare properly beforehand?" Liu Che held a bamboo slip in one hand and Ajiao’s slender, jade-like fingers in the other.
Because of the sacrifices at Mount Jiuyi, Liu Che had to fast, bathe, and abstain from women. Consequently, he hadn't seen Ajiao for several days.
Seeing her now, his heart began to stir again.
He grasped the woman’s fingers, rubbing them one by one, interlacing them, stroking them, and then sliding his hand down to her wrist.
Ajiao frowned and slapped his hand away, whispering, "Behave yourself. It’s broad daylight."
Liu Che laughed. "What is there to fear? No one dares to listen." With that, he simply tossed the bamboo slips aside and leaned over to pull Ajiao into his arms, admiring her with a sigh. "Fingers like carved jade spring onions, sleeves of fragrant silk."
Ajiao gave a playful scold and continued playing with her leaf cards.
Liu Che glanced at the cards and smiled. "I never noticed you liked playing cards before." Having said that, he swept the cards off the table and lifted Ajiao onto it.
"You’re quite lecherous," Ajiao said, frowning at him. She remembered Lin Gao mentioning that it was during an imperial tour that the old man had taken in Lady Gouyi, the woman who gave birth to the next emperor.
"Am I? It is only so when I see you." Liu Che smiled as he began to peel away her layers of clothing.
The space inside the carriage was small. Seeing that Liu Che was intent on his task, Ajiao could only resign herself to her fate, moving the brazier and incense burner to the side to prevent them from being knocked over and starting a fire.
"Nonsense. You didn't like me before." Ajiao’s face wore a look that clearly said, *You’re lying.*
Liu Che finally looked up. After a moment, he said, "Nonsense. I did like you, it was just..." *Later, you became too tiresome.*
He paused in silence before continuing, "Later, when you stopped making scenes, I was still happy. I told you, even without a child, as long as you behaved yourself, you would always be the Empress."
Ajiao sighed, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. Her voice was soft, as if soaked in water. "You don't understand."
"I know that in the palace, children are very important... but you... you know I cannot tolerate witchcraft." Liu Che bit down hard on her neck.
Yet there was no mark left behind.
She could be touched, she could be seen, but she was ultimately not a living person.
"I know. But... if I hadn't found a way, I really would have gone mad." Though, looking back, there wasn't much difference between what happened and going mad.
Ajiao suddenly flipped over, pinning Liu Che beneath her. With a *smack*, she slapped his chest. "Liu Che, you shouldn't have loved me."
In Lin Gao’s narrative, her story ended at Changmen Palace, while Liu Che’s harem continued to be filled with one beauty after another...
"Mmph—" Her mouth was suddenly blocked. Ajiao looked displeased at the pair of eyes inches away from her own.
After a long kiss, Liu Che released her, breathing slightly hard. "There is no 'should' or 'shouldn't.' Ajiao, this doesn't sound like your character."
"What should my character be?" She extended a finger and poked the man’s chest, even maliciously pressing down on his nipples.
Liu Che caught her hand, brought it to his lips for a kiss, and smiled. "It should be someone who fears nothing."
Ajiao felt indignant. She turned her head to look at the carriage walls, and after a long while, she said, "Try being driven half-mad and then locked in Changmen Palace for over a decade. See if you don't change."
Liu Che raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't stay there waiting to die. If the Emperor wouldn't see me, I would find a way to see him."
Ajiao: "..." *I feel like I'm being looked down upon.*
She took a breath and added, "But you’re already nearly mad. You can't even control yourself. How would you find a way out? Why would you even go to see the Emperor?"
Liu Che pinned Ajiao beneath him once more and spoke. "Even if I have to fake it, I will. If I can't control myself, I’ll keep a needle in my hand. One prick of the needle, and I’ll be clear-headed."
Ajiao held Liu Che’s head, silent for another long moment. She opened her lips. "And once you see him, what would you say?"
"Talk about the past. Only the happy things. Say how much I missed the Emperor, how much I love him. Cry..." He looked at Ajiao’s slightly dazed face. "And make sure the crying looks beautiful."
"And then?"
"Take the opportunity while the Emperor’s heart is soft to ask to serve him in bed. Ask for nothing else."
"Nothing else?"
"Nothing. Only to stay by the Emperor’s side. Don't ask for titles, don't ask about others."
"And then?"
"Act obedient. Act generous. Never oppose the Emperor. Follow his lead. At the very least, don't let anyone else become the Empress."
Ajiao felt as though she couldn't breathe. She lowered her head slightly, seeing the Emperor lift his head. Their lips met, their bodies entwined.
"And then... find a way to cultivate someone loyal to you who can bear children. Before you grow old, adopt a son."
"But before you could do all that, you would have already gone mad." Ajiao shook her head repeatedly.
Liu Che was stunned into silence, not knowing what to say for a long time.
Ajiao spoke slowly. "A madman cannot pretend to be a normal person all the time."
Liu Che’s fingers slid across Ajiao’s back, which remained as cold as snow, a stark contrast to his own burning body. He kissed her, his voice growing muffled. "Ajiao, I don't understand. Why?"
"What don't you understand?"
"Why go mad? How could you fall into such a delusional affliction?"
"...Liu Che, I didn't like having people constantly telling me to hurry up and have a child. Every time I did anything, someone would tell me not to do it, that having a child was the most important thing. But it wasn't as if I didn't *want* to have one."
She tried to sit up, but Liu Che held her tight in his arms.
"Sometimes I wondered—is the only meaning of my existence as a living person to bear a child? Reading is useless, traveling is useless, even wanting to invite my sisters into the palace to talk is useless. Liu Che, tell me, if I can't have a child, is there no point in me being alive?"
Liu Che opened his mouth. He felt that for a woman, bearing children was certainly important, but pleasing her husband was equally so! Back then, it wasn't that he didn't pity Ajiao; that was why he couldn't help but favor her when she came to Xuan室 Hall...
"Ajiao, it’s not..."
Ajiao stared into Liu Che’s eyes for a moment. "Were you going to say I could still please you?"
Liu Che nodded honestly and said hurriedly, "You are in the prime of your beauty. Even without a child..."
"And when I am old? What should I do then?"
"...You..." Liu Che was silent for a moment. "You have me."
"Without a child, and without beauty, would you really still be there?"
"Ajiao!" Liu Che hugged her tightly. "Don't think about it anymore."
"Liu Che, don't even mention how agonizing and hopeless those days were. Perhaps we are all fake. I am not Chen Ajiao, and the one you are holding right now is just some other concubine..."
She murmured, feeling a swelling pain in her head, as if something were churning in her heart.
"Ajiao, the one by my side now is you. You’re overthinking again."
For some reason, an alarm bell suddenly rang in Liu Che’s heart. He felt that Ajiao’s past thoughts were all wild delusions, which was why she had thought herself into that delusional affliction in the first place.
Now, although Ajiao was no longer human, he feared she still couldn't withstand such dark thoughts. It was better to let her think less of sad things.
In the end, he still did not want to see Ajiao in a state of madness.
***
