After the White Marten and the "pregnant" Leng Jing stared at each other for a while, the marten began to tremble more and more violently. His intuition told him that he was in deep trouble—
Leng Jing was going to eat him!
Because he had discovered Leng Jing’s most terrifyingly twisted hobby—pretending to be pregnant!
Under this immense pressure, the White Marten’s body went cold, his limbs stiffened, and his soul nearly left his body.
Just then, the Old Madam noticed his presence. "Oh? Is this the white marten that Xiao San from the front courtyard picked up? It really is quite adorable. Hongxing, bring it over and let me feel it. See if the fur is good; it could make a fine muffler once winter arrives."
Thus, the White Marten was snatched up and placed onto the Old Madam’s lap.
However, under Leng Jing’s overwhelming intimidation, the shivering marten’s old ailment flared up. Unable to hold it in any longer, a warm stream slowly overflowed from between his haunches.
Ultimately, amidst the Old Madam’s piercing screams, the White Marten was locked into an iron cage, awaiting slaughter.
Prime Minister Bai and Leng Jing both looked at the marten in silence. Prime Minister Bai grew thoughtful, feeling as though the marten looked strangely familiar.
Leng Jing tugged at Prime Minister Bai’s sleeve and said, "Shaoqing, I like that marten. Could you ask the Old Madam for it?"
The Old Madam finally lost her patience and said with a face full of disgust, "I say, young man, if you have something to say, say it to me directly! I’m not deaf! There’s no need for a messenger!"
"I don't want to!" Leng Jing feigned a spoiled pout, burying his head against Prime Minister Bai’s back. "I like doing it this way." XD
A collective shudder ran through everyone in the hall, their skin crawling with goosebumps.
Prime Minister Bai stood there dazed, not knowing what to say.
Although Prime Minister Bai currently held the prestigious title of Prime Minister, in reality, he was merely a useless official whom the Emperor disliked but could not get rid of. The imperial court treated him as if he didn't exist, and even at home, everyone turned a blind eye to his status. Consequently, Prime Minister Bai held less authority in the household than Miss Shangguan.
"If he likes that pissing beast, just give it to him! After all, one is a pissing beast and the other is a half-man, half-woman freak—they make a perfect pair!" Miss Shangguan said insolently.
As Leng Jing and Miss Shangguan’s gazes met and sparked, it signaled the beginning of a grand domestic war of jealousy and rivalry.
In the end, the White Marten, who had been on the verge of being skinned, was reclaimed by Leng Jing. Having endured countless hardships, the marten finally saw his master again. A surge of intense emotion welled up within him, turning into two lines of hot tears that fell into the dust. He stammered for a long time before finally kneeling before Leng Jing—who was sitting in his wheelchair sipping tea—and wailed through his tears:
"Young Master! Please don't eat me!! I won't tell anyone your secret!!! I won't tell anyone you're pregnant! I won't tell anyone you're fighting for favor with a mortal!! I won't say a single word!!!" Then, with stars in his eyes, he added, "I can even serve the Young Master during his postpartum confinement~"
Leng Jing, looking perfectly leisurely, heard this and extended a foot, kicking the White Marten so hard he flipped several times before stopping. The marten lay on the ground for a long while before lifting his head, then collapsed again, howling in grievance.
And so, the Leng family trio was reunited in this sorrowful fashion.
***
By the next day, the White Marten had recovered his spirits and joined Leng Jing’s camp, becoming one of his lackeys.
According to Leng Jing’s plan, his ultimate goal was to make Leng Qingqing fall in love with him. His strategy was to awaken the affection buried deep within Leng Qingqing’s heart. As the saying goes, a loud drum needs a heavy mallet; the "heavy mallet" Leng Jing had prepared was—the "Miscarriage" Plan.
By engineering a miscarriage scenario, he would deal a severe psychological blow to Prime Minister Bai. Using such a tragic method to make Leng Qingqing fall utterly in love with him was the chilling plan devised by the White Marten and Leng Jing. The primary reason was that since the pregnancy kit included a miscarriage function anyway, why not give it a test run?
And the best candidate to help them test the miscarriage function was undoubtedly the eldest Miss Shangguan, who was already overflowing with jealousy.
Fortunately, the pregnancy manual also came with a miscarriage supplement, specifically listing fifty suggestions for losing a baby. This included teaching one how to provoke a romantic rival through jealousy, thereby achieving the goal of being framed and "miscarrying" by the rival's hand, which would make one's lover feel even more devoted and pitying. Years ago, Empress Wu Zetian had used a similar principle, though she didn't use a miscarriage; instead, she used the less physically damaging method of "strangling a newborn to frame someone." Nowadays, times were different; with the Miscarriage Kit, you could frame others and miscarry at will—miscarry however you like! No side effects, healthy, green, and eco-friendly!
Thus, Leng Jing and the White Marten excitedly began adding miscarriage functions to the pregnancy belly pad, stuffing in the miscarriage kit, the fetal movement device, and so on. Leng Jing felt his stomach getting heavier and heavier.
Once all the preparations were complete, they went to sleep, looking forward to the opening of the true battle for favor the next day.
As for Prime Minister Bai’s feelings toward Leng Jing, they remained at the stage of "starting with passion but stopping at propriety." Ever since he believed he had gotten Leng Jing pregnant, he no longer dared to spend the night in Leng Jing’s room. Naturally, he didn't dare go to Miss Shangguan’s room either.
So, what was Prime Minister Bai doing? Naturally, he was hiding in his study, lamenting over flowers and the moon, doing things only scholars do—writing poetry, painting, and composing books.
Of course, if one looked closely at Prime Minister Bai’s writings, they were nothing more than works like *The Noodle Collection* or *The Encyclopedia of Noodles*.
As a side note, Prime Minister Bai believed himself to be a snake and was extremely fond of them. He painted many snakes and pasted them on the walls to admire. This was also why Miss Shangguan didn't dare take the initiative to seek him out—she was terrified of snakes!
Furthermore, Prime Minister Bai had a very peculiar habit: he never drank alcohol. He was a total teetotaler because he firmly believed that "lust follows wine," so he avoided it at all costs. No one had ever seen him drink, and no one had ever successfully persuaded him to try. Over time, everyone in the manor learned of his habit and never served him wine or dishes cooked with it. Consequently, Prime Minister Bai did not yet know the joys of the cup.
It was precisely because of this tiny wine cup that a significant commotion would be triggered later, but that is a story for another time.
The night passed without incident. The next day, Leng Jing, with his protruding belly, sat in his wheelchair and was pushed by the White Marten (disguised as a servant) to the back garden for a stroll. Because Miss Shangguan enjoyed gardening, she had ordered many flowers and plants to be grown there and frequently visited to admire them. Thus, the back garden was the easiest place to run into her.
Sure enough, Miss Shangguan was in the garden admiring some newly planted orchids. When Leng Jing was pushed over, she felt disgusted and pretended not to see him, even pointedly spitting on the ground to show her displeasure.
Leng Jing gave a dry cough and put on airs. "Bai San, look. Are the flowers in this garden beautiful?"
The lackey White Marten nodded hurriedly. "Beautiful, very beautiful!"
"Pah! I say they’re hideous! I’m carrying the Master’s child now; everything I eat, drink, and see affects the baby in my womb! If I look at these vulgar flowers and weeds too much, I might give birth to a son with a flowery, fickle heart!" Leng Jing intentionally spoke in a shrill voice. "My child should be as noble and elegant as a plum blossom. Hurry and pull up these wretched weeds for me! Plant plum blossoms instead!"
The lackey White Marten gave a shout of assent and began digging up the flowers with a shovel. Miss Shangguan was so livid she practically jumped three feet in the air, pointing at Leng Jing and cursing, "You dead cripple! Are you trying to start a rebellion? You dare pull up my flowers? I’ll..."
"You’ll what? You want to lay a hand on me? I’m carrying the Bai family’s bloodline in my belly; come at me if you have the guts!" Leng Jing thrust out his belly threateningly. "If I get upset and something happens to the child, can you take responsibility for that?"
"You, you, you! You half-man, half-woman monster! Pah, watch out that you don't give birth to a freak!" Miss Shangguan cursed.
"You dare call the Bai family’s young master a freak? Hmph, I see you’re just jealous. A hen occupying the nest but unable to lay an egg, yet you blame others! Hey, I say, you’ve been married into this house for so long, yet there’s no movement in your belly. Are you even capable? Shaoqing said he’d make me the primary wife; I think you should just pack up and go back to your parents' house!" Leng Jing supported his lower back with one hand and stroked his belly with the other, looking quite the part.
Miss Shangguan stomped her feet in rage, pointing at Leng Jing’s nose. "You little vixen, don't get too cocky! Just you wait!"
Fuming, she went to the Old Madam to lodge a complaint.
Shortly after, having heard Miss Shangguan’s tearful grievances, the Old Madam summoned Prime Minister Bai and told him to discipline Leng Jing. Prime Minister Bai had no choice but to go find Leng Jing, but he was quickly coaxed into a good mood by a few sweet words. He even pressed his ear against Leng Jing’s belly to listen to the "baby" kicking before leaving while humming a tune.
Then, the White Marten pushed Leng Jing out to pick a fight again—they proactively went to Miss Shangguan’s courtyard, claiming they were there to apologize.
Miss Shangguan thought Leng Jing had been scolded by the Old Madam, but to her surprise, the moment they met, Leng Jing said to her: "Shaoqing just told me off. He told me not to lower myself to your level, since you’re going to be divorced anyway. I thought about it and realized he was right, so I came to offer my apologies to Big Sister. Oh my, why is the decor in Big Sister’s room so shabby? Was Shaoqing unwilling to spend money on you?" As he spoke, he covered his mouth and giggled, pointing at his own clothes. "These are new clothes Shaoqing just had made for me yesterday; they cost a full ten taels of silver! Shaoqing said as long as I can bear him a baby, he’ll give me whatever I want to eat or wear—living like an Emperor wouldn't be a problem. On the other hand, Big Sister... sigh, why is there no movement in Big Sister’s belly?" He began to mock her openly.
"You dead cripple! What is there to be so proud of?" Miss Shangguan was driven to madness once again.
Leng Jing covered his mouth and laughed. "Big Sister, don't look down on my useless feet; Shaoqing treats me wonderfully. Yesterday I said my useless feet felt cold, so Shaoqing tucked them into his robes to warm them against his chest. Oh, Shaoqing is truly so devoted!"
"Get out!" Miss Shangguan roared. A poisonous scheme finally formed in her heart—if she didn't find a way to get rid of the child in that vixen’s belly, she would never be able to hold her head up again!
To punish that disobedient, arrogant vixen, the best time would be when Prime Minister Bai was not at home. As for the Old Madam, she usually spent her days chanting Buddhist sutras and wouldn't bother with the trivial matters of the lower courtyards. After much deliberation, a wicked plan took shape in Miss Shangguan’s mind—she would strike down that ominous child! Only she should be the one to bear the Bai family’s descendants!
Every day thereafter, Leng Jing and Miss Shangguan spent their time in this state of sharp confrontation. Without a doubt, the "pregnant" Leng Jing held the ultimate "get out of jail free" card. No matter how much he provoked Miss Shangguan to the point of being unbearable, as long as he played the pregnancy card, even the Old Madam could do nothing to him.
Meanwhile, Miss Shangguan recorded every humiliation, waiting for the perfect moment to crush her enemy in one blow.
As fate would have it, the opportunity soon arrived.
Seven days later, an unprecedented imperial decree arrived from the palace, summoning Prime Minister Bai to wait for orders immediately. This was undoubtedly the perfect time for Miss Shangguan to act. The grand war of jealousy was about to reach its absolute climax!
