Xuan Yang stepped out of the room but did not find Shen Yan in the outer parlor. He wandered around the inn for a bit before finally following a scent all the way up to the roof.
By the time Wuyi had woken up, the sun was already setting. After their long conversation, the world outside had turned pitch black. The town was not large; looking out from the roof at night, one could only see a few scattered glimmers of lamplight.
"Hey, what’s gotten into you? Sitting out here in the dark," Xuan Yang called out.
Shen Yan did not turn his head. He was accustomed to concealing his presence as a matter of habit, but Xuan Yang did not rely on spiritual perception. Instead, he tracked him using his most primal sense of smell, a method Shen Yan could do nothing about.
Still, he had grown somewhat used to it.
"Just catching the breeze," Shen Yan said casually.
"Like I’d believe that!" Xuan Yang was displeased by the perfunctory answer. He had intended to snap at him, but seeing Shen Yan’s distant expression as he gazed into the horizon, he sensed that something was different. Xuan Yang stood there for a moment, and when Shen Yan didn't speak, he surprisingly didn't storm off in a huff. Instead, he thickened his skin and sidled up to him.
"Are you angry? Because I took it upon myself to send Wuyi home without asking your opinion..." Xuan Yang muttered gloomily.
Though they had somehow ended up traveling together by chance, they were currently companions of a sort. Xuan Yang hadn't thought much of deciding their future itinerary without consulting Shen Yan, but seeing the man’s displeasure made him reflect on his actions.
"It’s not that. I was just thinking about some things," Shen Yan replied. He was actually a bit surprised by Xuan Yang’s misunderstanding. This fellow, who usually held his head higher than the clouds, had actually developed such a considerate thought. Xuan Yang had truly grown quite a bit compared to when they first met a few months ago.
"Things? What things? Is it about kids? D-Don't tell me you already have a child?" Xuan Yang guessed wildly, unable to suppress a small shudder.
Shen Yan finally turned his head. "What are you babbling about? That’s ridiculous."
Xuan Yang breathed a sigh of relief.
"I just saw him crying so innocently after being separated from his parents, and it reminded me of some things from the past."
Xuan Yang leaned in closer, speculating, "What things? Oh—I know! You must have been a crybaby when you were little, and seeing him reminded you of how embarrassing you used to be! Ha, I never cry."
Actually, he had. Back when it was determined he wasn't suited for artifact forging, Xuan Yang refused to give up. He had found a secluded spot to practice in secret, only to have the furnace explode repeatedly, wasting all the materials he had scavenged and bought with his allowance. That was the first time the young Xuan Yang realized that hard work couldn't solve everything, and he had cried himself hoarse in his room out of sheer frustration.
However, Nie Shiyun hadn't known about that back then, and Xuan Yang would rather die than tell him now.
"Taking your frustrations out on a child isn't very adult-like!" Xuan Yang said with an air of feigned wisdom.
"Is that so..." Shen Yan stared at Xuan Yang for a moment, seemingly realizing something. "So Nie Shiyun never told you. He’s quite a man of his word."
"Eh? Nie Shiyun? Told me what?" Xuan Yang immediately grew anxious. The feeling of being the only one kept in the dark was terrible.
"Something related to my childhood. But it’s all in the past now, nothing worth mentioning."
Shen Yan stood up from the roof tiles, his figure bathed in the cool moonlight, almost merging into the night. Xuan Yang’s eyes instinctively followed his movement, tilting his head back. For a fleeting moment, he remembered meeting him in that alleyway months ago in much the same way. They had been together for so long, yet he still knew nothing about him.
In truth, it had always been like that. From their first encounter in the shop at the Wintry Sky Secret Realm, where Shen Yan had arrived and departed in a hurry cloaked in a mantle, to now—twenty years had passed. Despite being somewhat interested in and occasionally annoyed by this person, Xuan Yang couldn't claim to "understand" him at all.
They were merely "acquaintances."
Seeing him turn to leave, Xuan Yang protested, "Hey! You can't do that! Either don't say anything at all, or don't just say a little bit and then walk away... Hey, where are you going!"
"I’ve had enough of the breeze. I’m going back to the room. Aren't we taking that child to find his family? We’ll have to head south again. Get some rest early tonight; tomorrow we’ll go to the shops to buy supplies and make preparations."
With that, Shen Yan leaped lightly from the edge of the eaves and vanished.
"..."
Just now, a truly lonely and nostalgic expression had appeared on Shen Yan’s face—a soft side that had never before graced his usually expressionless features.
Even Xuan Yang, who lacked much social intuition, knew that whatever he had remembered must have been very special. He didn't chase after him to pry as he usually would. Instead, he sat slumped on the roof, his face filled with a sense of loss he didn't even recognize.
"What gives? If he likes me, shouldn't there be no secrets..."
***
Shen Yan returned to the inn room.
Wuyi was still fast asleep. His face, which had been crumpled in distress while he was crying earlier, was now completely peaceful, showing no signs of being haunted by nightmares. It seemed his conversation with Xuan Yang had allowed him to shed his anxiety, placing his full trust in the belief that Xuan Yang would help him find his family.
Perhaps the child’s parents were still alive and were indeed searching for him frantically at this moment. However, earlier, seeing Wuyi wailing in the face of "death," Shen Yan had been reminded of the time he returned home to witness the tragic state of his own family. Because their souls had been extracted, the corpses' eyes were hollow and lifeless, lacking even an expression of pain.
But unlike Wuyi, who was lucky enough to be rescued by Xuan Yang, the Shen Yan of that time had nowhere to go and no one to help him. With his small, frail body, he had personally buried his parents and his infant brother together.
He might have shed tears then, too. But the young boy quickly understood that tears were useless. To survive and to seek revenge, he packed his bags and left home. That old residence had been burned to the ground the moment he departed; even now, if he returned, that land would still be empty.
Knowing his parents might still be alive and that a kind person was willing to help him find them, yet still wailing so piteously—the thought that had naturally arisen in Shen Yan’s heart was: *He doesn't know how lucky he is; what an ungrateful brat.* He had even wondered what the boy would look like if he eventually found out his parents were actually dead.
Then, he had left in irritation. It wasn't so much that Wuyi’s crying was annoying, but rather that he found himself—someone who could feel such resentment toward an innocent child—even more irritating.
However, Shen Yan had more or less accepted this version of himself. His past life had destined him to never be a truly "kind" person. Unfortunately, while he wasn't a good person, he was also only a half-baked villain. If he could be thoroughly wicked, perhaps he wouldn't be troubled by such thoughts from time to time.
Wuyi seemed to have never seen a human before and likely harbored some prejudices. He had probably been frightened by Shen Yan earlier. Thinking this, Shen Yan took two steps closer. Perhaps because the beast-kin possessed naturally sharp senses, combined with the child’s strong vitality, the ghostly aura—which was colder at night than during the day—drifted toward him as Shen Yan approached. An uneasy expression immediately appeared on the sleeping Wuyi’s face, his brow furrowing slightly as if he were uncomfortable.
Shen Yan noticed. He took one look at the boy’s sleeping face and backed away. Once the ghostly chill was gone, Wuyi’s brow smoothed out again. Shen Yan gave a self-mocking smile and went straight into the adjacent cultivation room, keeping his distance.
He had assumed Xuan Yang would return later to sleep on the small bed in the outer room. But that didn't seem to be the case.
Shen Yan only realized this the next morning when he emerged from the cultivation room. Wuyi, who was already awake, was panicked to find his friendly kinsman gone, seeing only the cold-eyed human instead. Fortunately, Xuan Yang’s words from the day before had lessened his hostility toward Shen Yan. However, he had never spoken to a human before, and since Shen Yan didn't initiate conversation and stood far away, Wuyi could only give a timid nod.
"Where is Xuan Yang?"
"I-I don't know. He wasn't here when I woke up."
Shen Yan nodded to show he understood, thinking the "kid" was throwing some kind of tantrum, and went out to find him. Returning to the spot where he had left the night before, he indeed found Xuan Yang still on the roof.
Shen Yan looked helplessly at Xuan Yang, who was sleeping spread-eagled across the tiles. He walked over and gave the fellow’s cheek a sharp tug.
"Aah-woo-ah..."
Xuan Yang was dragged back to reality from his dream. He opened his mouth to speak, but because his cheek was being pulled, he could only let out unintelligible groans.
"You slept here all night?" Shen Yan could only say that at least he hadn't relaxed enough to revert to his original form; otherwise, it would have been a major problem.
"I wanted to catch the breeze too, and I just fell asleep while doing it..."
This wasn't entirely a lie. Xuan Yang had been brooding over how Shen Yan clearly showed him favor yet refused to share anything with him, leaving him both stifled and angry. If he had learned how to drink, he certainly would have been "drowning his sorrows" at that moment.
One moment he was wondering what secret Shen Yan couldn't tell him, and the next he was thinking about how Nie Shiyun knew that very secret... Xuan Yang’s erratic thoughts had run wild, even wondering if Shen Yan secretly loved Nie Shiyun but, unable to have him, had approached Xuan Yang as a second-best substitute. All sorts of melodramatic scenarios had played out in his heart. Ultimately, based on his past observations, Xuan Yang felt Shen Yan didn't have those kinds of feelings. Tossing and turning mentally, he had eventually fallen asleep on the roof in the cool summer night breeze.
"Though cultivators rarely fall ill, one can still catch a cold. You don't have feathers covering you right now."
"It’s the middle of summer; how could I catch a cold?" Xuan Yang rubbed his cheek where it had been pulled, feeling like he was being treated like a child. However, he attributed the action to Shen Yan’s concern for him and let it go.
Shen Yan watched Xuan Yang rub his face. He also reflected a little. One thing Xuan Yang said yesterday was true: he shouldn't have started a story he didn't intend to finish. He shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. Perhaps his mood had truly been too foul, or perhaps for a split second under the moonlight, Xuan Yang’s appearance had made him want to confide a few words. Regardless, he had regretted it two seconds after opening his mouth, which was why there was no follow-up.
"Mmm—" Xuan Yang stood up and gave a massive stretch. "Let’s go. We need to buy supplies today, and we also need to sell some of the materials from those Calamity Beasts, right? I want to keep some of the pelts and the parts that can be used for medicine."
"Are you planning to take them back to Senior Nie and Senior Zhai?"
Xuan Yang nodded, then realized he was currently "running away from home" and pointedly cleared his throat to correct himself. "It’s not like I’m specifically saving them for them. I’m going to charge them. They have to buy them from me!"
Shen Yan said half-heartedly, "Right, right. Make a profit off them; they’re too rich anyway."
"Exactly! That’s the spirit," Xuan Yang huffed. In the gaps between words, he stole a glance at Shen Yan. Seeing that Shen Yan’s expression remained normal at the mention of those two, Xuan Yang quietly sighed in relief. As expected, he had been overthinking; how could such a melodramatic plot actually happen?
After a night’s sleep and with Shen Yan taking the initiative to find him, Xuan Yang’s melancholy and frustration from the night before had vanished. His grievances always came quickly and left just as fast.
Xuan Yang went back to the inn room to comfort the newly awakened Wuyi, promising to bring back something delicious for him. Wuyi, who trusted Xuan Yang implicitly, nodded repeatedly and stayed obediently in bed to recover, vowing not to step foot outside until they returned.
Once Wuyi was settled, Xuan Yang and Shen Yan found a secluded spot in the wild outskirts and briskly began processing the carcasses of the Calamity Beasts. Although Xuan Yang had killed them himself, the urgency of the battle hadn't allowed for a close look. Only now did he have the leisure to observe them in detail.
"Keep the parts you’re saving for yourself; don't mix them up."
The parts Xuan Yang kept were all top-tier materials. After all, the secondary professions of those two were among the best in the current cultivation world; mediocre materials weren't even worth their time.
"I’m keeping track of the quantity and the parts. I’ll deduct them when we split the profits," Xuan Yang said carefully, not wanting Shen Yan to think he was using those two’s names to take advantage of him.
"It’s fine, we don't need to be so precise this time. You did most of the work killing these Calamity Beasts, didn't you?" Shen Yan said. He really hadn't put in much effort this time, and he knew perfectly well that by leaving the good stuff for Nie Shiyun and Zhai Bairong, he would likely receive benefits in return later. However, his words sounded exceptionally touching to Xuan Yang’s ears.
"Fine. Since you said 'no need to be precise,' then..."
Xuan Yang felt that Shen Yan was truly a tormentor. One moment he was showing favor, and the next he seemed so distant, making Xuan Yang’s heart feel warm one second and empty the next.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 灾兽 | Calamity Beast | Monsters that bring disaster or are born from it. |
| 天阶 | Heaven Rank | A level of strength in the beast-kin village, equivalent to Foundation Establishment. |
| 化婴 | Nascent Soul Transformation | The process of reaching the Nascent Soul stage. |
| 阴气 | Ghostly aura / Yin energy | The cold, dark energy associated with ghosts or ghost cultivation. |
| 狗血 | Melodramatic / Cliché | Slang for over-the-top, cliché, or soap-opera-like drama. |
Enjoying the story? Rate this novel:
Transmigrated into a Total Shou Novel as a Cannon Fodder, but Ended Up 1v1-ing the Male Lead | Chapter 141 | Shadows of the Past | Novela.app | Novela.app
