Many days after stepping out of the hidden dungeon within Jingbo Tower, Xiao Nanhui still could not forget the words Bai Yun had spoken.
Huozhou, Blackwood County, a private letter.
Long ago, she had discovered that very line of text in the records of the Censorate. She had never mentioned it to anyone, so Bai Yun could not have known, yet the woman had provided almost identical information.
This meant that she had once been very, very close to the truth.
She should have realized it then: why had the Censorate noted the existence of that unusual letter but failed to record its contents? Had the letter been lost beyond recovery, or had someone deliberately erased it?
Xiao Nanhui felt herself pinned in place by a vortex of interwoven secrets.
Where should she begin her search? And should she seek the Emperor’s help?
Behind this lay a forbidden door she dared not touch: the question of what role the Imperial family had played in the events of that year.
After much deliberation, she decided to keep the matter to herself for the time being. If she could not find any useful information in Chizhou before the Spring Hunt, she would have to make a personal trip to Huozhou once the ice broke on the Dafeng Ferry.
She continued to assist Ding Weixiang daily in tracking Puhuna and Zou Sifang. In her spare time, she found opportunities to slip into the old estate of Prince Shuo on Yukun Street, beginning to search through and organize the side rooms where old belongings were stored.
According to Uncle Chen, when Xiao Zhun established his own residence and moved out, he hadn't taken so much as a needle or a thread from the old estate. Everything currently in the Great General’s manor had been newly purchased at the time of its founding. Xiao Zhun had sealed all his memories of the past within that overgrown courtyard, never touching them again from the day he left.
How could Xiao Nanhui not understand the emotion behind this? Thus, she did not dare disturb anyone else.
Among the countless, disorganized letters and manuscripts, she occasionally caught glimpses of the past of Prince Shuo, Xiao Qing.
This legendary prince of a different surname, who possessed distinguished military merits, was the eldest son of the Xiao family at the time. Aside from several younger brothers with flamboyant personalities, he had only one sister. This woman, who had been the darling of her father and brothers and did not marry until she was twenty-five, was Xiao Zhun’s aunt, Xiao Dai—the woman now known as Aunt Dai.
Aunt Dai’s biological mother had died young and was hardly mentioned in the genealogy; Aunt Dai herself had only moved back to the Prince’s manor in her teens. Her subsequent husband’s family were not nobles of the capital, but a family of silk merchants from another province. After her marriage, Aunt Dai had only one son, named Yuhuan. Though he was not raised with the same rigorous discipline as Xiao Zhun and the other children of the manor, he was a lovely child, and the family lived in contented harmony.
Aunt Dai often missed her parental home and would bring her son back to Que City to visit relatives during every festival. Around the time of the Spring Hunt that year, it happened to be Prince Shuo’s fortieth birthday banquet. After some thought, Aunt Dai brought Yuhuan along to celebrate her brother’s birthday.
That single trip rewrote her entire life.
The bloodbath of over a decade ago had destroyed everything this woman possessed. If she still remembered all that had happened, she would be a living soul in more pain than the dead.
Aside from the correspondence between Aunt Dai and Prince Shuo, Xiao Nanhui also attempted to search for traces of past interactions between the Xiao and Bai families. However, perhaps because Xu Zhi, the Commandant of Justice, had sent men to search the premises after the incident, she found very little useful information.
Before Bai Yun mentioned it, she had inferred the closeness of the two families from the friendship between Xiao Zhun and Bai Yun, but she had never imagined that Bai Heliu and Prince Shuo were intimate friends. Who had sent that letter? Why did the Bai family have to deliver it personally?
That letter surely contained a world-shaking secret. And what she had to do was uncover it.
When is the moment people are drawn closest together? It is the moment they share a secret.
Yao Yi always told her: everyone has secrets. Some are shallow and easily exposed, while others are carefully hidden, remaining unseen for a lifetime. You only truly know a person when you know the secret buried deepest in their heart.
In that sense, those who possess more secrets actually hold the power to control the intimacy of a relationship.
Take Sui Wei, for example.
Recalling her experiences over the past few months, she realized that the beginning of her closeness with him was when he shared his first secret.
His secrets were so numerous they left her overwhelmed and awestruck. He was like a high mountain perpetually shrouded in clouds, a calm but bottomless lake, or a stone Buddha that remained silent after a thousand years of wind and rain—always unfathomable, never showing a single flaw.
His secrets brought her an unprecedented and wondrous feeling, like stepping into an unvisited world, starting a conversation others could not join, or falling into an embrace of total mystery.
He had occupied her heart with his secrets.
As for Xiao Nanhui, she had only one secret.
Her past love for Xiao Zhun was her only secret.
But why, when she shared this secret with him, did he instead move further away?
There must be something different about it, but Xiao Nanhui could not figure out the problem for the moment.
Regarding problems she couldn't understand, emotional debts she couldn't settle, or even changes she couldn't face, she had grown accustomed to escaping.
Whenever such times came, she avoided those closest to her all the more.
She tried not to mention what had happened in Jiaosong County, and she had never told those around her that she could no longer draw a bow. Bo Lao was a simple-minded person who couldn't hold onto heavy matters, let alone understand many of her emotions. Yao Yi was too shrewd; many things couldn't be hidden from him, and she was already covered in scars—she didn't want to be interrogated or mocked. Hao Bai might have been an option, but unfortunately, he was a bit too close to the Emperor, which was somewhat daunting. As for Wu Xiaoliu, there was no need to even mention him; he was just a fat man who only cared about his three meals a day.
After much thought, she eventually only contacted Sui Pingchuan in private, asking him to help find the best blacksmith in Que City to forge a new spear. But after trying several, there were no satisfactory results.
She was used to Pingxian.
Just as she was used to Xiao Zhun.
Things and people that had existed in her life for years were suddenly ripped away; Xiao Nanhui inevitably felt miserable for a while, until she suddenly remembered the letter sent by Mo Chunhua.
Her current official rank was low, and there were far fewer camp duties than before. Aside from traveling between the Black Feather Camp and Yukun Street, she still had some free time. Paying a visit to Mo Chunhua shouldn't be difficult.
General Yan’s residence was not far from Yukun Street. It was built with great grandeur and elegance, which didn't quite match Yan Guang, who came from the Wing-Tip Camp and had always been informal. Perhaps it had something to do with his primary wife, who came from a family of legitimate noblewomen and whose ancestors had been officials for three generations.
Xiao Nanhui expected Mo Chunhua to be happy to see her, but she hadn't expected her to be *that* happy. Mo Chunhua pestered her to fulfill her promises: one day she wanted to learn the flowered spear, the next the long-handled saber, and then she suddenly became interested in the broadaxe.
Having nothing else to do, Xiao Nanhui satisfied her requests one by one. On one hand, it helped pass her own difficult time; on the other, she used her visits to the Yan manor as a cover for her private investigations.
But after six or seven days had passed, she gradually noticed that whenever she entered the Yan manor, she was subjected to "the gaze" by everyone.
At first, she thought it was her imagination, but gradually, even the cross-eyed, dim-witted son of the gatekeeper looked at her with a strange expression.
Xiao Nanhui finally reached the end of her patience. On her tenth visit to the Yan manor, she grabbed an inner courtyard maid who was trying to flee.
"I haven't even spoken yet. Why are you running?"
The little maid was about fifteen or sixteen years old and had grown up in a high-walled estate. She had never seen anyone ask a question with such aggressive momentum and vigor as Xiao Nanhui. She squeezed out a few tears on the spot.
"Please spare me, Excellency! I am just a laundry maid, I don't know anything!"
The girl sat on the ground while pleading, her legs seemingly turned to jelly. Xiao Nanhui couldn't bear to watch and hauled her up.
"Stand up and talk..."
Halfway through her sentence, she noticed a bruise on the maid's wrist, and her tone involuntarily softened.
"Did someone hit you?"
The little maid trembled into a ball on the ground.
"I... I dare not say."
"Oh." Xiao Nanhui let go, raised an eyebrow, and flicked her sleeve. "If you dare not say, then don't."
As she spoke, she turned to leave without a hint of lingering. The person on the ground instantly changed her mind.
"Excellency!" The little maid grabbed her leg with both hands, her mumble turning into a tearful lament. "I beg your Excellency to seek justice for me!"
Though Xiao Nanhui was easily moved to pity, she didn't much like women who constantly acted submissive. Seeing this display made her feel inexplicably annoyed.
"First, I am no 'Excellency,' and second, I cannot seek justice for you. If you want to speak, then speak. If not, I'll act as if I never asked and go ask someone else."
She moved to pull her leg away. Seeing this, the little maid knew she couldn't beat around the bush and put on a pained expression again.
"It's... it's that Fourth Miss who is dealing lethal blows and oppressing us servants!"
The Yan household’s newly minted Fourth Miss, the Nanqiang "Wildflower" from Lingxi—Mo Chunhua herself.
No, she should be Yan Chunhua now.
Xiao Nanhui snorted, suddenly finding this quite amusing.
"Ever since the Fourth Miss learned some martial arts from you, she vents her anger on the maids and older servants in the courtyard at every turn. Sometimes she doesn't even spare the footmen. I work nearby and am always caught to be her punching bag. This life is simply unbearable!"
The more the little maid spoke, the more agitated she became, looking as if she would cry herself to death.
Xiao Nanhui couldn't stand to watch, and she felt that such a commotion would eventually attract unnecessary people. So, after giving the girl some loose silver and dismissing her, she headed straight for Mo Chunhua’s courtyard.
Faced with the accusation, the person in question, the Fourth Miss of the Yan family, confessed without reservation. While smashing large green walnuts the size of a fist, she spoke incessantly about her "great achievements."
Only then did Xiao Nanhui learn that since she had started teaching Mo Chunhua martial arts, this madwoman had been causing chaos every few days. She had beaten every maid and older servant in the courtyard, calling it "testing her skills."
That mouth with its Lingxi accent wouldn't stop. Xiao Nanhui finally lost her patience and smashed the remaining three walnuts on the table with one palm.
"If you're so capable, go challenge people in the military camp! What kind of hero are you, bullying young girls and old women here?!"
Mo Chunhua froze, then shrieked as she tried to salvage the walnut remains that had been smashed to bits.
The walnut meat was a mangled mess. Mo Chunhua glared at Xiao Nanhui.
"I'm not a hero! I'm a woman!" She bared her teeth, looking wild and untamable. "And why would I go to a military camp? No one bullies me there. I'm not so bored that I'd go looking for trouble!"
Xiao Nanhui raised an eyebrow, looking unconvinced.
"Who bullied you?"
Mo Chunhua held out her hands and started counting on her fingers.
"Lümei and Bixuan from the First Madam’s front courtyard; Fanhong’er, Yuse, and Fugui from the Second Madam’s courtyard next door; Xiaotao and Suxing from my Third Sister’s place; Nanny Ding, the wet nurse my Eldest Sister conspired with; Old Guo the gatekeeper, whom my Second Sister bribed, and his aunt-in-law the manager... basically all the people I’ve hit."
Xiao Nanhui, whose own household had a total of only five people, was deeply shocked by this string of names.
"How long have you been in this manor? How did you make so many enemies?! That laundry maid I met in the courtyard just now..."
Mo Chunhua snorted coldly. "She’s from the Second Madam’s courtyard. A mistress’s personal maid is always loitering under my window to eavesdrop. I splashed her with foot-washing water twice and she still didn't learn. Getting a few beatings is letting her off easy."
"Does everyone in this Yan manor find you an eyesore? Is there anyone who isn't your enemy?"
Mo Chunhua picked her teeth and thought carefully.
"The yellow dog kept in the back kitchen is barely on my side."
Xiao Nanhui was momentarily speechless. She found the struggles within the inner courtyard absurd, yet Mo Chunhua’s "tooth for a tooth" methods were also laughable.
She had thought that after not seeing her for a month, Mo Chunhua was thriving in the Yan manor, ordering the small kitchen to make all sorts of delicious food and filling several small chests with new clothes and jewelry. Now it seemed that the "pious men and women" of the Yan manor’s back courtyard had given her no shortage of grief in secret.
However, Mo Chunhua seemed not to care at all. She ate when she wanted, drank when she wanted, and used the martial arts she learned to strike anyone who looked for trouble, regardless of the consequences.
By contrast, although Xiao Nanhui was a legitimate military officer who had seen the world and prided herself on being carefree, she had always had to consider many things in private over the years. She was living far too miserably.
Feeling a bit indignant, she tried to give a earnest lecture.
"You certainly have a large heart. Aren't you afraid that by using your hands, you'll leave people with something to use against you? Besides, if it really comes down to it later, you have no evidence and likely won't come out on top. When General Yan returns and all these gossips start whispering in his ear, will there still be a place for you?"
Mo Chunhua grinned, but her tone was entirely serious.
"I’m prepared. If Old Yan won't protect me, the worst I’ll do is go back to Lingxi. I’m used to being wild; I can endure cold and hunger, but I just can't endure being wronged. My mother might have been illiterate and lacked great ability, but she never let me be wronged."
Xiao Nanhui froze, suddenly lost in thought.
By braving the pressure of his inner courtyard to bring the child of a foreign slave woman into his manor, Yan Guang undoubtedly had feelings for Mo Chunhua.
But the worlds they lived in were fundamentally two different worlds. Even if there were unbreakable bonds and unseverable affections, the chasm created by these differences and disparities would not be filled.
This inevitably made her think of another person who often appeared by her side, yet whom she always felt was out of reach.
Sometimes she often wondered: if she hadn't sought that fortune stick at Yongye Temple that day, would she and he have never had any intersection?
The fabric of his clothes had a complex and expensive feel; his every gesture carried the aura of the high court; even the scent that lingered around him was the fragrance of the divine altar.
But she was different.
She wore cloth clothes and straw shoes, having just left the martial world only to enter the mundane one.
The distance between her and him was originally even greater than the distance between Mo Chunhua and the Yan family.
She thought of that embrace, thought of that kiss, thought of him taking her hand...
If. She meant *if*, one day, she had to leave the world she knew and resolved to go to his side, would she be like the current Mo Chunhua—leaving her familiar homeland to be trapped in a courtyard of cold-hearted people, prepared to leave from the very day she arrived?
The palace walls were much higher than those of the Yan estate, the women in the palace were much more beautiful than those in the Yan estate, and the Emperor’s heart was much more complex than General Yan’s.
Mo Chunhua could endure hunger and cold but not being wronged, while she could be alone but not without freedom.
If that day truly came, the courage she would need would surely be much more than Mo Chunhua’s.
"Are you going to teach me boxing today or not? Yesterday you only taught half." Seeing her silent for a long time, Mo Chunhua was a bit puzzled, then thought of something. "If you're afraid of their gossip, I can go to your place to find you."
If she could stay peacefully at the Xiao manor, would she need to come to the Yan manor every day to pass the time?
Xiao Nanhui waved her hand in refusal. For some reason, she suddenly lost her spirit, and her voice lacked energy.
"I don't think my meager skills are of much use to you. One of these days I'll introduce you to a new master. His fighting skills are good, and his level of scheming is extremely high. I guarantee you'll be satisfied."
"As long as it's not that shady Lu Songping, anyone is fine." Mo Chunhua, thinking of something, squeezed out a cold laugh from between her teeth. "Last time at Suyan when the enemy attacked, he stuffed me into a supply wagon carrying grain and fodder. I was jolted for three days and nights before he let me out."
"Is that so?" Xiao Nanhui smiled guiltily, somewhat relieved that she hadn't mentioned Lu Songping’s name just now.
Suddenly, there was some movement in the courtyard, vaguely mixed with the voices of women, approaching from a distance.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 黑木郡 | Blackwood County | A location in Huozhou mentioned by Bai Yun. |
| 肖黛 | Xiao Dai | Xiao Zhun's aunt, also known as Aunt Dai. |
| 予奂 | Yuhuan | Aunt Dai's son. |
| 肖青 | Xiao Qing | The given name of Prince Shuo. |
| 颜广 | Yan Guang | General Yan, Mo Chunhua's father. |
| 雁翅营 | Wing-Tip Camp | The military unit Yan Guang originated from. |
| 陌刀 | Long-handled saber | A specific type of heavy, double-edged long saber. |
| 宿岩 | Suyan | A location mentioned by Mo Chunhua regarding a past battle. |
