The ritual officials began their long, rhythmic chants, and the seemingly endless procession of horses and carriages finally commenced its slow advance.
Xiao Nanhui flipped onto her horse with practiced ease, urging Jixiang to stay close to the Emperor’s carriage while she tried to steal a peek inside.
The imperial carriage had only one driver: a man in green robes with a long blade at his side and a stoic expression—Ding Weixiang.
Ding Weixiang stared straight ahead, yet his peripheral vision seemed to possess invisible hooks.
"Attendant Xiao, you are riding a bit too close."
*Lickspittle,* Xiao Nanhui thought, curling her lip. She had no choice but to pull back a short distance.
Just then, there was a movement behind the heavy brocade curtains of the carriage, and they were pushed open a crack from within.
Su Wei leaned toward Ding Weixiang and whispered something.
Xiao Nanhui felt a surge of joy and was about to move forward when she caught sight of the person sitting beside him. The smile on her face vanished almost instantly.
She should have known. Why would a man sit in such a large carriage all by himself?
Amidst the scent of fine silk and the shimmer of jewelry sat a woman with painted brows and vermillion lips. Sitting beside Su Wei was none other than Cui Xingyao, who had recently been titled Lady Shuyuan for her merit in protecting the Emperor.
Before she could even process this bitterness, the Left Attendant—who had been nowhere to be seen—galloped up to join the procession. Xiao Nanhui’s expression soured even further.
She had calculated many things, but she never imagined the Emperor would transfer Xu Shu from his position as Commander of the Guards to serve as the Left Attendant. She didn't believe for a second that the Emperor had forgotten the deep-seated grievances between her and Xu Shu; he had done this on purpose. In her heart, she cursed that old rogue Zhongli a hundred and eighty times over.
When she remembered how she had held his hand just two days ago and said those mushy words about "seeing him again," and how she had just been staring at his face with such starry-eyed longing, Xiao Nanhui wanted nothing more than to chop off her own disobedient, muddled head.
She always seemed to forget that he was the Emperor. She thought that if he liked her and she liked him, things would naturally progress toward a pleasant conclusion.
Reality, however, had just dealt her a stinging slap to the face.
On the other side, Xu Shu’s expression was equally grim.
He knew exactly who was sitting beside the Emperor in that carriage.
Ever since Cui Xingyao had been selected for the palace, he had prayed every day that the Emperor would forget her existence. Under normal circumstances, the Emperor would keep a woman in the palace for ten days or a fortnight at most before sending her out; it should have been only a matter of time before Cui Xingyao left. Yet things had spiraled far beyond his expectations. Since the Jiao Pine Sacrifice, Cui Xingyao seemed to have found great favor. She had already moved into Chengzhao Palace, the residence closest to Yuanhe Hall, and was now accompanying the imperial procession to the Spring Hunt. It looked as though she was poised to soar like a phoenix to the highest heights.
Xiao Nanhui naturally noticed Xu Shu’s dark look. Her gaze flickered toward the elegant silhouette behind the carriage curtain, and she suddenly remembered the situation.
On this side, she was staring longingly at the man in the carriage; on the other side, Xu Shu was pining for the woman inside.
In short, no one was having a good time.
Thinking of it this way, Xiao Nanhui’s heart suddenly found a strange balance. She squeezed her legs, and Jixiang quickened its pace, pulling a few lengths ahead of Xu Shu. The horse didn't like the white stallion beneath Xu Shu’s seat either, finding its uniform coat dreadfully ugly.
They had traveled only a few miles out of the city when the sky in the distance began to darken.
Late spring was a season of frequent rain.
However, the cloud currently hanging at the edge of the horizon looked large enough to cover half the sky.
A stifling, humid heat began to rise in the air, mingled with the scent of damp earth, making it difficult to breathe.
The distant horizon grew hazy as a lone rider approached from afar, heading straight for the traveling procession.
Ding Weixiang sensed the approach keenly. He narrowed his eyes, then relaxed his posture, giving a subtle signal to the Black Feather camp hidden in the shadows. The sound of tightening bowstrings abruptly vanished.
It took about the time it takes to drink half a cup of tea for the figure to reach them. Xiao Nanhui was surprised to find the face familiar; it was the servant she had met during her visit to the Mei residence.
The man, A-Chu, was clearly heading for her. Bound by etiquette, he waited several dozen paces away.
Understanding the situation, Xiao Nanhui steered her horse toward him. Before she could offer a polite greeting, he spoke with concise urgency.
"Miss Xiao, my young master asked me to bring you a message. He is waiting for you at Liwang Pavilion, three miles ahead."
Xiao Nanhui froze for a moment before realizing the "young master" he referred to was Su Pingchuan. This was quite unexpected.
Liwang Pavilion was not far from the official road the procession was following; it wouldn't take much time to go there and back. Even so, the imperial procession would not stop and wait for her alone.
"May I ask what is so urgent? I am on duty and time is tight. I can spare the time for a single cup of tea at most."
"That is enough." A-Chu bowed deeply from his horse. "Thank you, Miss. I shall go back and deliver your word."
With that, A-Chu skillfully turned his horse and departed.
Xiao Nanhui hesitated for a moment before reluctantly approaching the imperial carriage.
Ding Weixiang shot her a sideways glance and gave a heavy cough.
She pretended not to hear him and reported directly to the person inside with a thick skin.
"Your Majesty, the General of the Left says he has urgent matters to discuss with me..."
"Go."
Before she could even finish her sentence, the person inside the carriage responded.
His voice was naturally devoid of much emotion, and since he had only uttered a single word, she couldn't tell if there was any displeasure or anything else in his tone.
His ready agreement only made her overthink things more.
Xiao Nanhui cursed inwardly and grumbled a reply.
"Then I shall go and return quickly."
She turned her horse with a sharp cry, and Jixiang left the procession, galloping toward the hazy earthen slope in the distance.
Ding Weixiang, who had been looking straight ahead, caught a glimpse of her figure in his peripheral vision, his brow furrowing slightly.
"Your Majesty, it is against regulation to leave the procession without cause during a march."
The voice from within the carriage remained leisurely.
"It matters not. Let her go."
Ding Weixiang clearly disagreed.
"Why did Your Majesty not ask what her business was? What could possibly be so urgent that it requires a meeting now? And how long will this meeting last...?"
Soon, the man's voice drifted out from the carriage again.
"The Xuan Yuan Prince's household has been beset by many trifles lately. The General of the Left likely won't have much free time in the future. Since there is no telling when they might meet again, why be stingy with this brief moment?"
Ding Weixiang finally fell silent.
The figure in the distance grew further and further away, turning into a blur that seemed about to vanish into the dusty yellow horizon.
Liwang Pavilion was an ancient lookout once used to watch for beacon fires. After years of wind and rain, its four brick pillars were mottled and the walls on either side had crumbled. Only the solitary stone pavilion stood atop the earthen slope, visible the moment one entered the capital's outskirts.
Xiao Nanhui galloped along the small path, the dust kicked up by her horse's hooves rising like a thin trail of smoke behind her.
The dark clouds in the distance drew closer. The last breath of wind vanished from the air, replaced by the heavy silence that precedes a downpour.
She reached the pavilion in one breath and dismounted. She saw Su Pingchuan standing in the pavilion with his back to her, looking as though he had been there for a long time.
He wasn't wearing armor today, only a very ordinary long robe of thin cloth.
She was used to seeing him in his heavy, gleaming armor. Seeing him standing there now, she realized he still had the frame of a youth. The wind caught his clothes, outlining a very lean silhouette.
Clearing her throat to announce her presence, Xiao Nanhui stepped forward slowly.
"Brother Pingchuan, why did you look for me? The Emperor's carriage will be far away soon. Let's keep this short."
Su Pingchuan did not turn around. He remained standing there, his back very straight, but his head bowed low.
"That day, you told me we would drink together after the war, but you never followed through. Does that promise still stand?"
Xiao Nanhui was dazed for a moment before she vaguely remembered saying something like that before the surprise attack by Bai Yun in the Green Border.
At that time, her bowstring had just snapped and she had only just learned of Bai Yun's existence. With one thing after another hitting her, how could she have had the heart to drink with him?
Those events had passed only a few months ago, yet it felt as though years had gone by.
Pursing her lips, she nodded. "It stands."
He finally raised his head and turned around, gesturing toward a stone chair by the stone table in the pavilion, inviting her to sit.
Only then did Xiao Nanhui notice that in the few days since the family banquet, he seemed to have lost a lot of weight, and his complexion looked off.
Su Pingchuan stared at the lone wine flask on the stone table, silent for a time.
The air around them was damp and heavy, like a wet blanket draped over one's body, making even breathing feel oppressive.
She sighed, having some idea of what he was finding so difficult to say.
"If this is about Lady Bo, there's no need to blame yourself. Knowing you, I know that matter had nothing to do with you. Besides, I'm fine, so you should put your mind at ease."
She understood his predicament and wanted to say more to comfort him, but the words died on her lips as she remembered what the Emperor had said that day. She felt she had no right to pity a young master from a Prince's manor, so she could only give a self-deprecating laugh.
Su Pingchuan’s expression, however, was uncharacteristically solemn.
She had never seen him look like this. His bloodshot eyes stared at her without blinking, his brow etched with pain and resentment. His usually proud chin was covered in a layer of light blue stubble, casting a shadow of exhaustion and sorrow over his young face.
"Did you know? She was brought into the manor by my father before my mother passed away."
*She? Lady Bo?*
"For her to enter the manor, she must have had her methods. My mother was open-minded by nature; she knew what the woman was up to and had almost no contact with her. But I was young then and didn't understand many things; I was even close to her for a time. My mother knew, but she never blamed me. she only grieved in private, never showing a hint of it to outsiders. That was her pride, but it was also the handle others used to manipulate and humiliate her."
Xiao Nanhui remained silent.
Even though Mei Ruogu had been the first, Lady Bo had ultimately lost too much.
She didn't think Mei Ruogu’s life had been miserable; in fact, she envied her.
Everything she knew about Mei Ruogu came from others, but she chose to believe in the most authentic version of the woman who lived in their memories.
She had been gone for a long time, yet people still could not forget her. Like the Reflected Water Layered Tower plum, even though it had long since left the branch, its fragrance still lingered in the air, refusing to dissipate.
"I once swore that I would never let my future wife endure the sorrow and sadness my mother did. Back then, I always thought that if I made the vow sternly enough, I would surely be able to keep it. But as I grew up, I realized it was all just a comfort I told myself."
Su Pingchuan’s tone was so grave, and the depth of emotion in his eyes was more than she could bear.
She wasn't stupid; she understood the meaning behind his words. And at this moment, she didn't want to play dumb.
"Actually, I... I don't really blame you." Licking her lips, Xiao Nanhui gave a couple of awkward chuckles. "How about this: just consider it a debt repaid. Back in Lingxi, I even stripped your clothes off. We're even now."
At the mention of the past, a brief warmth flashed across Su Pingchuan’s face.
That was the Green Border in late autumn. He had been captured in battle and confined in a makeshift prison of straw, his mouth stuffed with two dirty buns. His eyes had turned red with fury because a woman had pulled open his collar.
She had told him to live well, saying that being alive was more important than anything.
He had thought about those words for a long time afterward, and they had ultimately sustained him as he walked out of the Green Border. Perhaps they would sustain him as he walked even further in the future.
So, human memories could truly be distorted and changed, couldn't they?
Otherwise, why did that night—which was clearly cold and hungry—feel so warm and fulfilling when he remembered it now?
Su Pingchuan’s gaze fell upon the iron ring partially visible on the woman's wrist, and the smile lingering at the corners of his mouth finally faded.
But the memories between him and her were likely limited to just these. From now until he grew old and died, he could only live off these memories.
The day his father had sent men to lock him in the courtyard next to the Painting Residence until she had left the manor, he knew: nothing between him and her would ever come to fruition.
Even this final meeting today was only possible because he had begged his maternal grandfather for help to leave the manor.
He didn't know why he had missed his chance, but he realized what he had lost.
Thunder rumbled faintly from the distant horizon, mingling with the heavy thudding of his heart, bringing a dull ache.
*Once I heard the meaning of parting, I promised to be a traveler at the world's end.*
*Now I know the bitterness of parting, it is hard to find the person from my dreams.*
Su Pingchuan took one last deep look at her face and spoke, enunciating every word.
"My mother said that in a person's life, there must be a few words that are meant truly. Once spoken, they cannot be easily taken back."
Xiao Nanhui was stunned. After a long pause, she opened her mouth.
"What... do you want to say to me?"
*To tell you that I like you.*
*To tell you that I will treat you well, and ask if you will be my wife.*
But he could not say those words after all, because he could not fulfill them.
Su Pingchuan picked up the wine flask on the table and slowly poured two cups of wine.
A few drops of the clear Cloud-Leaf Green wine splashed out, perhaps because the hand pouring it was trembling, or perhaps simply because the cup was filled too full.
"From this day forward, Su Pingchuan and Xiao Nanhui are comrades and colleagues. If you remain the General of the Right, we shall fight side by side. If you enter those palace walls, we shall observe the etiquette of monarch and subject."
This was said to her, but also to himself.
Having finished, he picked up one of the cups and drained it in a single gulp. The moment he set the cup down, he stood up, his gaze leaving her face. He no longer had the courage to look at her again.
"In the future, do not call me Pingchuan. Call me General of the Left, as you did at the very beginning."
The moment his words landed, the first drop of rain fell upon the chaotic earth.
Then came the second drop, the third... dots falling into lines, lines connecting into a curtain. In an instant, the rain grew dense, sounding out across the world, telling of how the waters of a hundred rivers all come from the heavens.
Su Pingchuan’s voice was drowned out by the clamor of the rain. Having finished his sentence, he turned and rushed into the curtain of rain.
The sound of horse hooves grew distant, and thunder rolled in once more.
Xiao Nanhui sat in the center of the pavilion, staring blankly in the direction he had gone. It was a long time before she stood up woodenly.
Jixiang pawed the ground restlessly in the rain. She walked over to take its reins and suddenly noticed a dark green plum branch tucked into the saddle.
There would be no plum blossoms in this season, only green leaves that looked no different from ordinary foliage.
Su Pingchuan had said he would personally pick the Reflected Water Layered Tower plum for Xiao Nanhui.
He always remembered his promises.
But when the promise was made, the plum blossoms had already fallen. And by the time the plums bloomed again next year, she would no longer be by his side.
*The heart of the gentleman remains today, yet it is entrusted to the flow of a hundred rivers.*
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
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参乘车右 | Right Attendant | A guard position on the right side of the imperial carriage.
参乘车左 | Left Attendant | A guard position on the left side of the imperial carriage.
淑媛 | Lady Shuyuan | A high-ranking imperial consort title (Lady of Virtuous Beauty).
成昭宫 | Chengzhao Palace | A palace building near the Emperor's main hall.
离望亭 | Liwang Pavilion | "Departure Watch Pavilion," a landmark near the capital.
云叶青 | Cloud-Leaf Green | A variety of fine wine.
映水重楼 | Reflected Water Layered Tower | A specific, rare variety of plum blossom mentioned previously.
