Unarmored | Chapter 147 | A Vow Against Solitude | Novela.app

Su Pingchuan did not find an opportunity to slip out of the mansion until dusk. He had been confined for several days, seeing no one but the young servant who delivered his water and meals. After he had accompanied Xiao Nanhui out of the city that day, A-Chiu had been blocked at the gates of the Xuan Yuan Prince’s Mansion. Even after the spring hunt concluded, the Prince’s Mansion continued to claim to the outside world that Su Pingchuan had "caught a chill and was declining visitors," effectively preventing his maternal grandfather from coming to his aid. Aside from his colleagues in the Guangyao Battalion, whom he saw daily in the line of duty, he did not have a single friend brave enough to pay him a visit. In his gloom, he recalled the brief time he had spent as a prisoner in Lingxi and remembered the words she had once spoken to him. His spirit rallied, and he resolved to prove his strength for once. He did not ask for much; he only wanted to confirm her safety. He believed he could manage that. However, he often forgot his own upbringing and background—forgot that while he possessed martial skills, he had never committed a "bad" deed like scaling a wall or crawling through a dog-hole. He knocked out the servant delivering his meal, took the keys, and leaped onto the courtyard wall with his precious sword in hand. In the next instant, he crushed three roof tiles. His father—seemingly refined but actually narrow-minded—appeared at the base of the wall, looked up at him, and quietly told him to get down. And so, he was locked up again. This time, he didn't even see the servant. Every meal was pushed in through the dog-hole and retrieved the same way. No matter how loudly he protested, no one answered. After another two days, he finally learned the art of forbearance. He wrote a note on the outgoing tray saying he wanted roast chicken. That afternoon, a roast chicken was delivered. He ate the entire chicken in one go and finally found a bone of the right thickness and length. Using an inkstone as a base, he ground it down until he could pick the lock on his chains. This time, he didn't dare take his sword. He shed his heavy boots and carefully scaled the wall. He spent nearly half an hour crawling along the top of the wall, observing, before finally timing his movements to avoid the guards and successfully slipping out of the mansion. Fearing his father would soon discover his absence, he cherished this brief window of freedom and sprinted toward Yanfu Street. This was the first time he had ever run through the streets wearing only socks. People hurried past him, none noticing his peculiarity; only he knew the rebellion and madness of this moment. Perhaps Heaven still looked upon him with some favor, for his courage was not spent in vain. He ran all the way to Wangchen Tower. After making some inquiries, he nearly ran into an acquaintance. In his haste, he ducked into the nearest room—and the person he was looking for was right there before him. Su Pingchuan stared at the figure draped in gaudy floral cloth and clutching a patterned handkerchief. His excitement was tinged with a sudden, sharp grief. In just a few days, had she truly fallen to such a state? He wanted to ask if His Majesty had punished her, if she was treated well here, if she had suffered humiliation. But he felt such foolish questions were impossible to voice, for she was clearly not living well. Before he could force a single word past the lump in his throat, the woman by the bronze mirror spoke dryly. "You... why are you here?" Xiao Nanhui asked the question delicately. What she really wanted to ask was: *Why would a high-born, arrogant young master of a Prince’s Mansion be in a low-class den of vice like this?* As it happened, Wangchen Tower’s specialty was that its handsome male companions outnumbered its beautiful ladies. Could it be that Su Pingchuan, having been provoked by her recently, had suddenly changed his nature and developed an interest in... other things? Xiao Nanhui felt a tremor of shock, and her expression became complicated. When he failed to answer for a long time, she became even more convinced of her judgment. She crumpled the handkerchief in her palm and spoke tentatively. "Brother Pingchuan, I know that matters of the heart are hard to control. But one must not go to extremes or get stuck in a dead end. Although..." She paused, fearing her subtext was too obvious and might cause offense, then chose her words carefully. "Although masculine spirits can sometimes be drawn to one another in mutual admiration, you were not born this way. You must not misjudge yourself because of some other reason." Before she could finish, the laughter of two young male hosts drifted up from the hallway, surrounded by a group of wealthy young profligates. Talk of the devil. The timing was far too perfect. She instantly regretted her words, but it was too late. The young master across from her had already understood her implication. His face flushed a deep red, whether from shame or anger. "I came here, of course... of course to see you!" Now it was her turn to be angry, and beyond that, utterly bewildered. To see her? Which of his eyes had seen her enter this place of pleasure and stay for three days? Wangchen Tower was expensive. If Yao Yi hadn't been cutting her some slack, she couldn't have afforded one night, let alone three. But the most infuriating part was yet to come. Seeing her silence, Su Pingchuan’s thoughts took another wrong turn. With a conflicted look, he fished a banknote from his robes and slapped it onto the table with a *thwack*. "I have money. You don't need to worry." Xiao Nanhui finally reached the end of her patience. She stood up abruptly from the embroidered stool by the window, strode over to Su Pingchuan, grabbed him by the back of his collar, and began dragging him toward the door, muttering all the while. "What a waste of that ethereal place, Mount Taozhi. They didn't produce a single swordsman, but they certainly turned out a spendthrift dandy..." The poor young general, who had just braved a thousand perils to escape his mansion, was thus seized by the neck by a female bandit and was about to be tossed out the door. He finally realized something was wrong and began to struggle and defend himself under her iron grip. "I... I only heard you were being kept here, so I found a way to sneak in!" The woman draped in floral cloth slowly turned her head. "Heard from whom?" He had heard his stepmother's gossiping, then spent ten taels of silver on a girl in the tower to investigate. Su Pingchuan hesitated for a moment and decided to omit the second half. "Lady Bo said so." Lady Bo had a history of unpleasantness with her; it wasn't unlikely she had said something disgusting on purpose. Xiao Nanhui thought for a moment and finally let him go. She returned to the small table, picked up a jar of wine, slapped off the mud seal, and handed it directly to Su Pingchuan without even using a cup. "Sit down and drink with me. And tell me exactly what is going on." Su Pingchuan took the jar and forced himself to take a large, steadying gulp. "The matter of the spring hunt has already spread throughout the city. The entire household of the Marquis of Qinghuai has vanished without a trace. Only you were brought back under guard in full view of the public. Naturally, everyone curious about the matter wants to see you, hoping to glean some news..." The more Xiao Nanhui listened, the more her head spun. "I was brought back under guard in full view of the public?" "Yes." Su Pingchuan’s tone was certain, as if he had seen it with his own eyes. "They say you entered the city with the descendant of the Qu family and went straight to Wangchen Tower without stopping. Once you went in, you never came out." The powdered face of Hao Bai flashed before her eyes, followed by the merchant-like visage of Yao Yi. When had those two conspired? Xiao Nanhui felt something was amiss. "Why would I enter Wangchen Tower?" "They say you are close friends with the manager of Wangchen Tower and are recovering from your injuries here. But no matter who comes to visit, no one has actually seen you. Consequently, rumors are flying in both the court and the streets that you have actually been imprisoned, and that His Majesty only used this as a ruse to stabilize the moods of the military officers. Many people are searching for your whereabouts, both openly and in secret..." Su Pingchuan spoke word by word, and she drank mouthful by mouthful. The Emperor’s game of schemes within schemes was something she knew all too well. Previously, while at Jingbo Tower, her heart had been drowned in grief and pain; she had never considered what kind of upheaval was occurring outside. Now, hearing Su Pingchuan mention it, she suddenly understood much. Half a month ago, she was merely the obscure, insignificant adopted daughter of the Xiao family. Now, she was the sole target bearing the Xiao name. Though the Xiao family had declined, it had once been prominent. In the court, there were old friends, but there were also old enemies. With Xiao Zhun’s disappearance, she, as a member of the Xiao family, could not escape the storm. If she were imprisoned, a crime would have to be established. Whether the crime was heavy or light, it would result in dozens of petitions, leading to a battle in the imperial court where spit could drown the entire Yuanming Hall. But if she were left alone, she would be like meat on a chopping block for others to manipulate; those looking to stir up trouble would be even more numerous. Do seven parts, leave three. The Emperor had set up a target at Wangchen Tower that was seven parts truth and three parts falsehood. The more absurd and unbelievable the target seemed, the more those who spent their lives guessing the truth would believe their own deductions, convinced of their own cleverness. Xiao Nanhui picked up another jar of wine and raised it to start another round with the man across from her. After waiting a moment and receiving no response, she turned to see that the young master of the Prince’s Mansion—who had never drunk this much in his life—was already unconscious. The sound of chaotic footsteps echoed outside the door. She leaned close to the crack in the door to listen; it seemed people from the Xuan Yuan Prince’s Mansion had found their way here. It seemed she wouldn't be able to ask about the Marquis’s mansion today. Since she couldn't ask, she would have to go and see for herself. Lifting the last jar of wine from the table, Xiao Nanhui tiptoed to the back window. Before leaving, she turned back, tidied the area around the drunken Su Pingchuan, and pulled up his half-slid sock, hoping to make his life a bit easier when he sobered up. She was grateful to him. He had made her realize one thing: she was not alone, nor was she without friends. During the days she was absent, someone had been willing to walk barefoot through the surging crowds to find her. Glancing back at Su Pingchuan’s peaceful face, Xiao Nanhui turned and vaulted out the window. *** In the darkness, a slightly wide and heavy dark hem slid step by step down the narrow stone stairs of Jingbo Tower. The slender form of the young Emperor moved slowly through the gloom. Dismissing his attendants and evading his father’s spies were tasks he had long ago mastered. If he wished, he could come and go without alerting a soul. Gradually, the darkness reached its end. A dim, yellow light met him, accompanied by a warm breeze that belonged only to summer. "Mother." He called out softly. The figure standing by the balustrade did not move. Had it not been for the fluttering of her hem, he might have thought she was merely a stone statue carved in his mother’s likeness. He hesitated for a moment, then slowly walked toward her. The light of the setting sun spilled through the small holes beneath the brackets, hitting his face. He felt as though everything around him, including his mother’s silhouette, was bathed in an orange-red glow. The figure turned around. He realized that the reunion he had anticipated for eight years had finally brought him nothing but a face ravaged by suffering, her spirit already dissipated. "Who are you?" He bowed respectfully. "Mother, it is Wei-er." "Wei-er?" A focus seemed to return to her misty eyes. She murmured, "So it is. So it is... So this is the day I have waited for so long." "Was Mother... waiting for someone?" A smile touched the woman’s face, finally bearing a faint resemblance to her past self. "I was waiting for Wei-er. Waiting to see Wei-er one last time." He felt a strange sensation rise in his chest—part ache, part unease. Yet his expression remained composed, and his voice stayed calm and steady. "Mother need not worry. After today, I will find a way to make Father change. We will never be separated again." A layer of mist-like sorrow clouded the woman’s face, or perhaps her features were simply born that way. "No one can stay with another forever. You must learn to live on your own." "Mother does not need to be with me every moment. You only need to be in a place where I can see you often." "Is Wei-er afraid of loneliness?" Afraid of loneliness? During those days and nights in the ancient tower, he had been a constant companion to loneliness. It was precisely because he had understood loneliness that he had been able to walk out of that tower. "I am not afraid." "That is for the best. I fear loneliness most of all, yet it is a pity you were born to be lonely." Having said this, the light in the woman’s eyes suddenly brightened. She turned to gaze at the massive red sun on the horizon. "The sunset is beautiful. It is the right time for me to leave." He froze, and before he could ask where she was going, the figure turned and lightly vaulted over the balustrade—polished smooth from years of leaning—and vanished into the glow of the sunset. He stood paralyzed. He opened his mouth to scream, but immediately silenced himself, his expression resetting into a mask. But his feet were trembling. He walked those ten or so steps very slowly. Finally, he stood by the balustrade. The moment before he leaned out to look, he suddenly stopped. Just now, had he heard the sound of something hitting the water? Or... He saw the calm, waveless surface of the water shimmering with red light, and then the decorative rocks by the shore... *Clatter.* The sound of a heavy object hitting the floor. Su Wei opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Bai Zhaoyu’s wrinkled face. The old Chancellor was stroking his beard with one hand while trying to trim a dimming candle wick with the other. Because of his failing eyesight, he had failed to trim the wick and instead knocked over the candlestick. The bronze candlestick, fashioned with delicate vine and flower patterns, rolled a short distance across the floor before stopping. Hot wax spilled out, congealing into a red pool on the ground. "I did not mean to startle you. I beg Your Majesty’s forgiveness." In a mere instant, Su Wei had returned to his normal state. His eyes were clear, showing no trace of vulnerability. "It was I who was negligent. What crime have you committed, Chancellor?" Bai Zhaoyu stepped forward, righted the fallen candlestick, and used a fire striker to relight the wick. "Regarding the deployment of the border troops, does Your Majesty wish to continue listening?" "I trouble the Chancellor." Bai Zhaoyu spread out the excerpts he had been reading halfway through and reported the petitions that had not been presented in court that day, pausing whenever a decision was required. The Chancellor spoke a sentence, and the Emperor gave an answer. State affairs were tedious and lengthy. He responded as quickly as usual, but his heart was beating with a strange rhythm. He had just had a nightmare. This was an incredible thing for him. For more than a decade, he had rarely dreamed. Whether they were dreams of joy or terror, they seldom disturbed his nights. Yet just now, in the transition from dusk to night, he had dreamed during a brief nap. And of all the thousands upon thousands of past experiences, why had he dreamed of *that* scene? Bai Zhaoyu’s finger moved slowly across the text, finally landing on the last line. "Regarding the case of the Marquis of Qinghuai..." Before the old Chancellor could finish, a dark figure appeared at the entrance of the stone chamber. The figure paused upon seeing Bai Zhaoyu, then spoke after receiving a signal from the Emperor. "Your Majesty, the secret guards report that Miss Xiao has slipped out the back door of Wangchen Tower and headed toward the Marquis’s mansion. They ask if they should intercept her..." Before the guard’s words could even land, the man sitting on the stone chair stood up abruptly. Ignoring Bai Zhaoyu’s startled gaze, he practically bolted out the door. "The final item shall be discussed tomorrow." In the blink of an eye, the young Emperor was gone, leaving only a hollow echo in the stone chamber. Bai Zhaoyu let out a long sigh and slowly packed away his excerpts. He had thought he would never see that man walk in a hurry again in his lifetime. From the boy king to the young Emperor who had not yet reached thirty, Bai Zhaoyu often mistakenly felt that the person sitting on that stone chair was an octogenarian like himself, with one foot already in the grave. Before leaving, he glanced at the beautifully arranged snack plates on the stone table. Bai Zhaoyu reached out and swept the hickory nuts and candied fruits into the large sleeves of his high-ranking official robes. Only then did he feel a sense of balance, and he wobbled his way out of the tower. *** Occupying the best location in Que City, the area outside the walls of the Marquis of Qinghuai’s mansion remained silent. If not for the fact that the two "ever-burning" lanterns at the gate were unlit, Xiao Nanhui wouldn't have been able to tell how this place differed from before. As the saying goes, wine bolsters a coward’s heart. Without eight or ten jars of wine, she truly wouldn't have had the courage to stand here. Now, her chest was filled with a burning heat, her heart was racing, and the sweat on her palms returned as soon as she wiped it away. When she left Jingbo Tower, the first place she thought of going was the Marquis’s mansion. She knew she couldn't avoid returning to look forever. But she was afraid that in just a few days, it would no longer be the place in her memory. If that were the case, would the memories she called upon with such longing be forever clouded? She stood there for a while, and as the sky turned completely dark, Xiao Nanhui finally felt her way to a section of the wall. There was a slightly recessed, chipped brick in that wall. When she was younger and shorter, she used to step on that brick to climb back into the courtyard. After a familiar leap and landing, she stepped into the courtyard. The courtyard was empty; not a soul was in sight. It wasn't that she hadn't wondered why he insisted on taking her to Jingbo Tower, why even the decoy had to be set at Wangchen Tower, or why Jixiang hadn't been sent back to the mansion but was instead left at the Black Feather Camp. In truth, she had already guessed roughly what had happened at the Marquis’s mansion. But this time, she did not cry or break down. She simply walked calmly into the darkness that was so familiar she didn't need a lamp to avoid taking a wrong step. An unknown amount of time passed. The moon hung high, and the crickets in the grass began to chirp. A figure passed through the center of the mansion gates, heading straight for the back garden. Parting the untrimmed, messy branches and turning past the abandoned rockeries, he saw her sitting under the old flowering vine. She seemed to merge into the shadows, her silhouette blurred and indistinct. "Xiao Nanhui." Hearing the voice, she stood up and turned around. She saw him walking quickly through the moon-gate of the back garden. The mottled moonlight through the trees cast shadows upon him, which then flowed away just as quickly. She had never known before that the distance from the garden gate to the old vine was so short—so short that in a mere instant, he was standing before her. The fragrance of the old vine could not mask the cool, clean scent of his body. His hurried breathing was right in front of her, the disturbed air tickling her ear. Then, he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Why did you come here?" She struggled to tilt her chin up in his arms, raising the plain hemp ribbon she held in her right hand. "I only came back to retrieve something." He finally let her go slowly, but he did not speak, merely standing there in the shadows. She couldn't see the style of the robes he wore tonight, but she could see his eyes and knew his gaze was fixed on her face. "What is Your Majesty thinking?" What was he thinking? When she was sent into the carriage on that rainy night, he thought: *Will she never wake up?* When she stood by the balustrade of Jingbo Tower, he thought: *Is she going to jump?* When she said she wanted to go for a walk, he thought: *Is she going to leave this city?* He thought she was going to leave him. Just as his mother had left him all those years ago. His heart began to beat strangely again. He remembered the question his mother had asked him many years ago, and now he could no longer give the same firm, steady answer. "Will you leave me?" His voice was very soft, softer even than the sound of the insects' wings nearby. *Will you leave me?* She thought this was a question she often wanted to ask. Every time she made a friend, gained a bit of familial love, or felt a spark of attachment, she would want to ask this. She was born alone, and she often believed that one lonely person could not provide warmth and companionship to another. But at this moment, she was willing to take the one asking the question as herself, and she was willing to give this question an eternal answer. "I will not leave you." She raised her hand and gently patted his back, as if speaking to him, and as if speaking to herself. "No matter what happens, I will not leave you." For the first half of her life, she had been searching for someone to lean on. She had simply never imagined that one day, she would become the one someone else leaned on. He embraced her again, this time even more forcefully and for even longer, like a drowning man clutching at the last straw. "Xiao Nanhui, in this life and this world, you must never leave me. And I shall never leave you." *** Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation ---|---|--- 烜远王府 | Xuan Yuan Prince's Mansion | The residence of Su Pingchuan's father. 光要营 | Guangyao Battalion | The military unit Su Pingchuan belongs to. 燕扶街 | Yanfu Street | The street where Wangchen Tower is located. 元明殿 | Yuanming Hall | A main hall in the imperial palace. 柏兆予 | Bai Zhaoyu | The Chancellor (Prime Minister) of the empire. 未儿 | Wei-er | A childhood nickname for the Emperor, Su Wei. 火镰 | Fire striker | A tool for starting fires.