A sound like the fine, frantic gnawing of insects on leaves rippled out. Everyone had only enough time to recoil and throw themselves to the ground before a sharp, whistling wind erupted from the woman, radiating outward. It was followed immediately by black flames that seemed capable of devouring everything. The fire spread across the floor of the massive pit, then surged upward to form a burning dome that blotted out the sky. Rolling waves of heat surged in every direction, creating a landscape of pure purgatory.
Perhaps a long time passed, or perhaps it was only an instant.
Through the ringing in her ears and a haze of vertigo, Xiao Nanhui struggled to open her eyes. A familiar face came into view. The flames and wind blades seemed to be blocked by an invisible wall, clashing frantically around him and stirring his pitch-black hair.
His pupils were dilated, and blood seeped from the corners of his eyes, yet his expression remained peaceful.
Looking into those blood-stained eyes, the endless anger and resentment she had harbored suddenly vanished. She pulled herself up and held him tightly.
"Why didn't you wait for me to come back?"
He watched her quietly for a long time before finally raising a hand to gently brush away the tangled strands of hair by her ear.
"But haven't you come now?"
She was both angry and anxious, her voice turning hoarse. "I threw everything away—I even left Jixiang behind to run here and find you—and this is all you have to say to me?"
He fell silent, his expression carrying a weight of exhaustion that seemed a thousand layers deep.
Why hadn't he personally given her the things the old man from the Qu family had delivered? Why hadn't he left her even a chance to say goodbye? He had told her never to leave him, so why was he the one leaving first?
She had so many questions to ask him, but she didn't have the time.
She hurriedly wiped away the tears welling in her eyes and struggled to stand, reaching for Jiejia where it had fallen nearby.
"You aren't allowed to lie to me anymore. I will protect you. Let's leave this place together, alright?"
He didn't speak. Only his breath rose and fell softly against her ear, as gentle as a spring breeze passing through summer and autumn.
Her movements faltered. The eyes she had just dried turned red again.
"Why aren't you saying anything? Why won't you say you'll leave with me..."
He remained silent. His lips pressed carefully against her cheek, catching the final tear.
She froze. By the time she reacted, something had been placed in her palm.
Hard, individual beads, still carrying the warmth of his body.
In the next instant, a pale, purplish hand thrust through the chaotic flames, seizing his throat from behind. A face pressed close like a specter.
"You've finally stopped playing dead."
That face no longer resembled Bai Yun. It was a mottled mess of blue and purple, swollen and festering, wreathed in black miasma like a vengeful spirit crawled out from hell.
She held the emerald-green Secret Seal before him.
"Is this all the ability you have? Don't try to slight me. Back at Se Hill, you were far more useful than you are now."
Faced with such a gruesome sight, the man’s elegant features only creased slightly into a frown from the suffocation.
"When thoughts arise, peril follows. These words are carved into my very marrow. As long as I do not harbor a single thought, nothing will happen."
"A fine 'when thoughts arise, peril follows.' Then how about I tear out your heart and see for myself?"
The woman’s skeletal wrist lifted him effortlessly with one hand. After setting down the Secret Seal, she raised her other hand, fingers splayed, and lunged violently toward the man’s chest.
Xiao Nanhui’s pupils contracted; her heart gave a violent jolt.
"No!"
She heard her own heart-wrenching scream. She struggled to get closer, only to be easily flipped onto the ground.
The woman’s laughter rose and fell, laced with an indescribable pathology.
Once she had laughed her fill, she finally stopped and jerked her hand back, tearing away a small piece of flesh from his body. Fresh blood dripped from the mangled wound, instantly staining the emerald jade beneath his feet a deep crimson.
Glancing sideways, she looked at the woman in the dirt, struggling to crawl toward the bronze sword nearby.
"What's the rush? He won't die."
She lightly raised her hand to her mouth, extending her tongue to lick the sweet copper tang from it, her eyes narrowing in gluttonous satisfaction.
"Such precious flesh and blood... to study Buddhism and chant sutras is a complete waste."
The air around the man began to twist and tremble. Blood no longer flowed down from the wound but instead turned into fine threads of red reaching into the air. Pain caused cold sweat to bead on his forehead, dampening his dark brows. He pressed his pale lips together.
"You will never know what is hidden within the Secret Seal. When greed arises, self-harm must follow. You will regret this."
*Click.* The outer mechanism encasing the emerald jade split into two, and a soft green light emerged from the depths of the square seal.
"Regret? Ignorant mortal, how dare you speak such nonsense. The Qiu family dug their own graves; they could have ruled the gods of the world, yet they cast the power aside. Now, I only need to break the seal, and the gods of the heavens shall be with me. No one in this world will be able to contend with me! With thousands of lives to feast upon, I shall have eternal life!"
There was a brief stagnation in the air. The young Emperor finally raised his head slowly, his gaze carrying a nearly indifferent disdain.
"If I die, there will be no one to serve as your vessel. I wonder where these 'gods of the heavens' you speak of will find a place to dwell?"
Xiao Nanhui looked down at her waist; her dagger had vanished at some point. She looked up in a daze.
No, don't...
She didn't want to experience this scene again. She wouldn't.
Jiejia flew out. With a *clang*, it struck the dagger the man was about to drive into his own heart, knocking it away.
The unrecognizable woman threw her head back and laughed.
"Wumin was so proud of his cleverness, yet he underestimated the human heart. This is the narrowness of mortals, the cowardice of mortals, the shortsightedness of mortals—utterly fragile!" A rattling sound came from deep in her throat as she picked up the jade seal with one hand and dragged the dying man toward the center of the pit with the other. "Now, you don't even have the chance to seek death. You've lost."
The sword was picked up once more. Staggering footsteps approached from behind. Without looking back, the woman waved her hand, and the figure behind her was sent flying like a broken kite.
After several such attempts, the undying woman finally grabbed her ankle.
She kicked her, she stomped on her, but the woman refused to let go.
Xiao Nanhui clung desperately to the body beneath her, determined to twist every bone and every vein into a rope to bind the other firmly.
"You couldn't keep your foster father then, and you can't keep him now. A mere body of flesh and blood thinks it can trap me? You're dreaming."
The sarira beads clutched in her hand pressed painfully against her metacarpals, as if they were about to be embedded into her bones.
She couldn't keep him. But she could save him from this hell.
The blood-soaked woman summoned every ounce of strength she possessed and raised the edge of her blade.
Jiejia turned into a streak of white light, piercing through both her body and the woman’s in an instant.
The white blade entered through the other’s chest and exited through her own spine. From a distance, the two figures were pressed so closely together that one could not be distinguished from the other.
"You said it yourself... there cannot be two people on the altar."
The woman impaled by the blade seemed to realize something. She struggled frantically, the sound of her ribs grinding against the sword edge screeching in their ears.
"Let go!"
Xiao Nanhui smiled. Though she coughed up blood as she did, her smile was more free and unrestrained than ever before.
"You claim to be a god, yet you fear extinction. What does it matter if I am but a mortal?" She spat fiercely in the other's face. "I despise your eternal life."
Her heavy eyelids slowly closed. She still gripped the hilt of the sword tightly, falling slowly toward the center of the deep pit along with that other body.
"Let's go to hell together."
Falling. It was an endless fall.
Excruciating pain swept from the back of her neck through her entire body. She felt as if her head were about to split open from the inside.
Countless shadows crawled out from the darkness. Wailing souls and towering deities surged toward her from all directions. The love, hate, desires, oaths, and prayers of countless people over thousands of years swallowed her like a tide.
She saw countless eyes, countless mouths, countless faces, and countless figures. Those figures scrambled to pounce on her, to pierce her, to possess her.
She became many people, yet it was as if she herself were the amalgamation of them all. She began to forget her own face, her own name, and the reason she had come here...
Suddenly, a faint, cold fragrance drifted past her nose. Then, a force caught her left hand, dragging her toward the silence.
She opened her eyes and found herself standing atop a high tower.
The surroundings were silent and windless. In the distance, the clouds glowed like fire under a heavy, sinking sunset. She looked down at her long, narrow shadow. When she looked up again, a woman was standing before her.
"You've come."
She looked at the other coldly. "Who are you?"
The woman did not answer, only stepped closer.
She looked at the scenery around her, which seemed frozen in time, and reached a firm conclusion.
"This is a dream. You are the prophet of the Zhongli clan."
The woman stopped but shook her head.
"This is not a dream. This is your memory."
Her memory? When had she ever had such a memory? One must know that gods never retain such mundane memories.
"Even if it is as you say, there is nothing special about this memory."
With that, she turned to leave.
The woman behind her did not give chase. She walked along the long corridor, but as she turned a corner of the building, she saw the woman again.
She said nothing and bypassed the woman to continue forward, only to meet her again after the next turn.
The woman gently caught the hem of her robe.
"As long as he is still in your heart, you will surely return here."
She turned her head, frowning. "Who is 'he'?"
"Do you not remember him? You love him. He is the most important person in your life."
She brushed the other's hand away, her voice carrying a nearly numb indifference.
"I have seen too many people. Coming and going, living and dying—at least tens of millions. How could I remember which one he is?"
The woman shook her head again.
"No. You have only just turned twenty-one. You have not seen many people. He is the most special person you have ever met. You must remember him."
She looked out beyond the railing. Taking a few quick steps, she prepared to vault over it, but the woman suddenly grabbed her from behind with reckless abandon.
She turned in anger and struck out with her palm. The woman neither dodged nor flinched, taking the blow fully. Her other hand, however, continuously pried open her fingers, tracing something in her palm.
She seemed to be writing a character: two horizontal strokes, one vertical, one left-falling, and one right-falling.
She had no intention of looking at the word; she only wanted to leave.
"Let go."
The other was deaf to her words, continuing the same action.
She tried to push the woman away almost violently, but the woman seemed unable to feel pain and would not be moved. She simply wrote that character in her hand over and over again.
Two horizontal, one vertical, one left-falling, one right-falling... Two horizontal, one vertical, one left-falling, one right-falling...
"Let go! Stop writing! I told you to stop writing!"
She roared, losing control.
Suddenly, a series of images flashed through her mind.
A brush, a hand, a dot of red.
She closed her eyes, pounding her head frantically, trying to make the uncontrollably surging images disappear. However, they only grew clearer.
A brush dipped in cinnabar, a hand wearing Buddhist beads, a dot of red falling onto her palm.
Two horizontal, one vertical. One left-falling, one right-falling.
"My name. Have you remembered it?"
Who was it? Who was speaking?
The images in her mind shifted again. In the dawn of a wasteland, a figure turned around against the light amidst the wind and sand.
"Xiao Nanhui, are you afraid of me?"
The wind blew away the person's hair ribbon. She instinctively reached out to catch it, but a finger pressed against her chest.
"This place... is the most complicated thing in this world."
In a dim palace, she saw a familiar yet strange face slowly approaching. She had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Between breaths, something drew closer. She could feel his warmth burning in the darkness.
"If love is difficult to begin, then hate is fine as well."
The night continued to spread. She was held in an intimate, suffocating embrace. A cold scent dispersed the fragrance of the old wisteria flowers.
"Xiao Nanhui, in this life and this world, you must never leave me. I, too, shall never leave you."
No, this wasn't real. This wasn't her memory. This wasn't her.
But if she wasn't her, then who was she?
Her fingers suddenly clenched tight. The writing woman and the chaotic visions finally fell silent.
She left that tower as she wished, but the tens of thousands of roaring, clamoring faces became silent. Then, among those myriad figures, she saw him.
Everything stopped. She walked slowly toward the end of the world...
Xiao Nanhui slowly opened her eyes.
The whistling wind had stopped, and the black flames had vanished.
Bai Yun’s corpse lay not far away. Ding Weixiang and Yi Kong were prone a hundred paces off, their fates unknown.
She sat up expressionlessly. It seemed to take a great deal of effort just to stand. Then, her body moved forward stiffly, every meridian, muscle, and bone trembling.
At the edge of the pit, the cowering doctor in white raised his head weakly. He looked at that familiar yet strange figure, his eyes gradually filling with hesitation and fear.
"Xiao... Xiao Nanhui?"
The figure did not answer him. She continued to walk like a living corpse toward the ruins of the pagoda, then stood up and turned back after a moment.
Finally, she stopped, standing before the man who had fainted from his heavy injuries.
The tears in her eyes had long since dried. Her dilated pupils seemed to have lost their focus.
She slowly opened her left hand. The string of Buddhist beads lay quietly in her palm.
Something gradually dissolved in the depths of her eyes. She blinked, and light finally returned to her gaze.
Xiao Nanhui gently placed the beads back onto Su Wei’s hand. Then, she leaned down softly, her mouth opening soundlessly.
She didn't seem to make a sound, or perhaps she did, but she could no longer hear it.
On the road to Huozhou after setting out again, she had once asked him if he regretted not killing her.
His answer had been: *Some answers can only be known much later.*
At the time, she had felt the answer was dismissive. But now, she finally understood the meaning of "much later."
Some answers can only be known after a lifetime has been lived.
On her twentieth birthday, she had met him. Since then, her life had been completely transformed.
If someone were to ask her if she regretted meeting him...
Her answer only now became clear and certain.
She had never regretted meeting him.
If time could flow backward and the wind once again stirred the banners hanging in the main hall of Yongye Temple, she would still be willing to take that fortune slip from those hands.
She did not regret it.
Even if he were to be the end of her life, she did not regret it.
She pulled the pitch-black Demon-Subduing Pestle from her robes, raised it high, and brought it down with force.
"Don't be afraid. I will always protect you."
In the dust, the translucent green jade seal—which had looked as if a living soul resided within it—suddenly turned grey and dull, like the most ordinary of stones.
The wind dispersed the dark clouds. The world before dawn was a picture of tranquility.
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
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大正降服陀罗尼经 | Taisho Subjugation Dharani Sutra | A fictional or specific Buddhist sutra used for exorcism.
解甲 | Jiejia | Xiao Nanhui's sword; literally "Removing Armor."
秘玺 | Secret Seal | The Imperial Jade Seal of the Qiu family, central to the plot's mystical elements.
降魔杵 | Demon-Subduing Pestle | A Vajra pestle used in Buddhist rituals to symbolize the destruction of ignorance and demons.
舍利子 | Sarira beads | Buddhist relics, often found as pearl-like beads after cremation; here refers to Su Wei's prayer beads.
未 | Wei | The character Su Wei's name ends with; described by its strokes in the memory sequence.
钟离 | Zhongli | A clan name associated with prophecy in the novel.
夙未 | Su Wei | The male lead's name.
霍州 | Huozhou | A geographical location in the novel.
永业寺 | Yongye Temple | The temple where the protagonists first met.
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Unarmored | Chapter 172 | The Answer of a Lifetime | Novela.app | Novela.app
