The year drew to a close, and the hour grew dark. Cold winds gathered, and heavy clouds of sorrow loomed.
Clouds rose from the rivers and seas, while sand flew across the northern deserts.
On the second day of their journey north, away from the Tianmu River, snow began to fall over Suyan.
The earth, which had been a scorched yellow in the height of summer, was now a stark, pale white. Icy grains of snow mingled with the grit and sand, making the distant hills shimmer with a crystalline light. The swirling vortices of wind stirred them up, sending them tapping against one's body with a fine, rhythmic sound, scouring the skin of the face until it stung.
In such a harsh and bitter season, even the locals were loath to travel.
Xiao Nanhui turned back to look at the figure behind her.
Hardly a trace of hunger or suffering showed on his face. Only when the walking became truly exhausting would he show a hint of weakness through his labored breathing; otherwise, he uttered not a single word of complaint.
If one ignored the desolate scenery and the dust covering them both, one might have thought he was merely taking a spring stroll.
Most of the time, the two moved across the wilderness in silence.
In a daze, she felt as if she had returned to that night at Baiyao Pass in Huozhou. She was no longer a general of Tiancheng newly bestowed with her title, but simply Young Master Yao leading a foul-tempered servant; the man before her was not the sovereign of the Su line, but that Young Master Zhongli who loved his long robes and possessed a slender frame.
Civilization and prosperity created the chasm of status, but the wild and primitive could level the ridges between people.
At times, she completely forgot to use the formal titles of sovereign and subject. Her actions were often overfamiliar, yet she felt no awkwardness, nor was she scared half to death as she had been during her first audience with the Emperor.
There were more worthy things to fear now. Namely, survival.
The waters of the Tianmu River rushed down in a torrential flood, and the banks were nearly inaccessible due to falling rocks and earth. Before finding their first spring, she could only find ways to collect water using her own helmet.
This was a method often used when marching through the desert: burying ironware in the soil and lining it with dry grass and stones. After a night, one could collect a small amount of condensed dew. But it was winter now, and the temperature difference between day and night was not great. The water gathered each day was pitifully meager. Sour, astringent fruits like sand dates were also hard to find, serving as little more than a psychological comfort.
Besides water, there was the problem of food. The easiest sustenance to obtain in this wilderness was a type of small four-legged lizard. Though extremely difficult to swallow, they were the safest food. She could stomach them, but the man might not. She exhausted her wits trying to trap small game, yet often returned empty-handed.
Her mouth was dry and bitter, and her stomach felt hollow. When her hunger reached its peak, she even found herself hoping to see the silhouette of an Andao Academy night owl. She would find a way to shoot the bird down and roast it for a full meal. As long as she could get out alive, she wouldn't care if she offended the Andao Academy for life—besides, with the person she was escorting, Old Man Xie wouldn't dare complain.
But whenever she cast her gaze toward the distant horizon, there was nothing.
War did not only take the souls of the fallen; it took the vitality of the land itself. Every creature with legs to run had been startled into flight by the months of slaughter. Occasionally, a few passing vultures would appear in the sky, flying so high and far that they looked like tiny sesame seeds.
However, food and water were not the most lethal problems. The most urgent task was staying warm.
Nightfall in Suyan came about an hour later than in Quecheng, but once night arrived, the temperature plummeted. It was the dead of winter; even the day was bone-chilling, let alone the night.
She wore the padded coarse-cloth jacket common among marching soldiers, which could still ward off some of the cold. Su Wei’s clothing, however, was much thinner. Early on before they set out, she had tied his sleeves tight at the wrists and tucked the hem of his robes into his boots as best she could, all to prevent the cold wind from whistling in and carrying away his body heat.
Just as the sky began to turn a dusky yellow, Xiao Nanhui found a sheltered spot in the lee of the terrain. She used Pingxian to hack some deadwood into a pile and started a campfire. Once that was done, she searched for stones of suitable size, trying to build a windbreak wall for the place where they would rest tonight.
While she did all this, the man sat there quietly. Were it not for his occasional light coughs, he would have almost merged with the silent earth.
It wasn't that she had only just realized his immense endurance, but his silence did not mean she failed to notice his physical discomfort and exhaustion. They had been traveling for two or three days straight without a single decent meal. She might be able to hold out for a few more days, but if this continued, the Emperor would likely collapse.
After some thought, using the last glimmer of light before dark, she took Pingxian and left again, hoping to try her luck.
Heaven was kind. While passing a small thicket, she discovered a half-eaten yellow sheep.
Yellow sheep weren't supposed to wander into this kind of desert; it was likely that during the unrest in Bijiang, a few head of livestock kept by nomads had escaped and become a feast for a wolf pack.
But strangely, in a season where food was so scarce, wolves usually left nothing behind—even vultures would struggle to find a scrap.
Had something frightened the wolves away?
Unease stirred in Xiao Nanhui’s heart, but seeing that more than half the sheep remained, she truly could not leave it behind. She worried the wolves might return, so she only used her dagger to cut away some of the meat and bone, carefully masking the scent of blood before she departed.
When she returned to the campfire, the smile on her face was almost overflowing.
"Your Majesty, I found some food. You won't have to eat those dried berries anymore."
She assumed he was exhausted and unwilling to speak, so she busied herself by picking up dead branches to make a spit, carefully propping the half-piece of mutton over the fire.
The flames licked at the melting fat, making a crackling sound as the aroma of food gradually spread.
"My roasting skills aren't very good, and we left in such a hurry that I have nothing for seasoning. It might be a bit hard to swallow, but please try to eat as much as possible, Your Majesty. There's no telling when we'll have a decent meal again."
The man beside her leaned forward, his face tinged with a hint of warmth from the dancing fire.
"Your talent for serving others is unexpectedly good."
She didn't take it to heart, her attention entirely on the meat. "It's alright, it's alright. There's still plenty of room for improvement."
"Wei Xiang has been by This One's side since leaving the Andao Academy; he grew accustomed to certain tasks long ago. You were born in a Marquis's manor and should be the one being served. How is it you are so adept at these menial tasks?"
The hand turning the branch paused for a moment, then quickly and efficiently added more deadwood to the fire.
"I'm not a master who's used to being served. Besides, there is a patient in our manor who cannot be left alone; she always needs someone watching her. When I have time, I help out."
The man was silent for a moment before offering a lukewarm remark.
"So it is a case of practice making perfect."
The words sounded a bit awkward to her, so she explained further.
"It's not really 'serving.' Since she is someone close to my foster father, I naturally see her as family. Taking care of one's family isn't considered serving."
Hearing this, he suddenly leaned his body slightly toward her, propping one arm against his forehead. The long hair on his shoulder slid down heavily, brushing against her cheek.
"Then for This One, do you consider it 'serving' or 'taking care'?"
He was born with a beauty that was somewhat ambiguous in gender, but he was usually so dignified and cold that it never prompted any inappropriate thoughts. Yet now, as he showed a hint of casual languor, it made her heart race and her face flush.
Xiao Nanhui’s hand shook, nearly poking the meat into the fire.
She instinctively felt there was a trap in his question, but for a moment, she couldn't figure out what kind of trap it was.
In any case, she couldn't say: *Because you are the Emperor, I must protect you. If you kick the bucket, won't my whole family be finished too?*
She stared at the meat in her hand, not daring to let her eyes wander. She feared that once she met his gaze, she would be scorched through just like this piece of meat.
Swallowing hard, she suddenly saw Pingxian lying on the ground.
The originally silver patterns on the spear shaft were now a deep ochre. That was the color of blood that had congealed within the grooves.
"Your Majesty... Your Majesty is a benefactor to me, a savior! So I suppose this is... repaying a debt."
The moment the words left her mouth, she wanted to clap for herself.
She was truly too clever.
Before he could speak again, she hurriedly handed the meat over.
"Your Majesty, the meat is ready."
After a long pause, she saw that fair hand take the food, then hand it back with half the meat removed.
She looked at the meat, then at him.
"Why are you looking at This One? Could it be you've poisoned it, and thus refuse to eat it yourself?"
She quickly took a bite to prove her innocence. The man gave her a slightly amused look and silently put the other half of the meat into his mouth.
This dinner was incredibly meager, yet both of them ate very slowly, as if doing so could prolong the process of filling their stomachs and make the food seem like more.
With hot food in their bellies, the surrounding cold seemed less unbearable.
Xiao Nanhui added more fuel to the fire, ensuring the pile would retain some warmth until dawn.
Fine snowflakes spiraled over the flames. The originally parched sandy ground had become damp and cold from the falling snow. She moved the fire slightly to reveal the baked, dry earth beneath. She looked up, intending to call him, only to see that he had already closed his eyes. She couldn't tell if he was asleep.
The wound on his palm was wrapped in scraps of cloth she had torn from her hem. Faint traces of blood seeped through, turning slightly black as they dried.
After a moment's thought, she whispered a reminder, "The wound on Your Majesty's hand needs fresh medicine."
The man remained with his eyes closed, merely extending his hand slightly.
Xiao Nanhui leaned in, unwrapping the cloth to reveal the scabbed wound beneath. Because there was no clean water to wash the wound, she could only use the sap of gathered plants as a substitute. Although she carried wound medicine, the flesh was still slightly turned out, and it was not healing smoothly.
It would likely leave a scar.
Such a beautiful pair of hands—it was a pity when she thought about it.
But considering everything they had been through, leaving only a faint scar was perhaps the best possible outcome.
As if possessed, she suddenly spoke up at an inappropriate time.
"It was too dangerous back at the cliff. If there is a next time, Your Majesty should let go."
The man's eyelashes fluttered as he glanced at her.
"You should know, This One is not good at letting go."
She choked for a moment but continued stubbornly, "It was thanks to that plant on the cliff this time; there might not be one next time. I was wearing armor then, and it was very heavy. I could have pulled Your Majesty down the cliff with me. Then neither of us would have lived... Is Your Majesty not afraid of death?"
It had been the same back in Huozhou. Although the matter of the Secret Seal was indeed important, that was exactly why it was so perilous. It would have been safer to entrust it to a confidant; why go personally with only one guard?
Of course, she didn't voice these later questions, only muttering them in her heart.
She thought he wouldn't answer such a foolish-sounding question, but he paused for a moment, seemingly actually considering the answer.
"I wasn't before." He paused, then slowly added the second half of the sentence, "I am now."
She didn't quite understand the meaning behind his words. Just as she was about to ask, he spoke.
"If you had fallen to your death then, This One would have been left to face the road ahead alone. That, perhaps, would have been even more treacherous."
Xiao Nanhui was somewhat speechless. She had intended to advise him to cherish his own life, given that his status was unlike any other and he carried the hopes of so many. Yet now she couldn't tell if all of this was merely a calculated move on his part.
She quickly reapplied the medicine and finished bandaging him with clean cloth. As she stuffed the medicine bottle back into her clothes, three dark, little beans fell out of her waist sash with a clatter.
She was stunned herself. Picking them up for a closer look, she felt her face flush.
They were three apricot pits—the remains of three apricots she had pilfered from the small tent back when they were still at the camp a few days ago.
To hide from Mo Chunhua’s big mouth, she had tucked them in her sleeve to eat in secret. After eating, she hadn't dared to throw the pits away carelessly, so she had stuffed them into her sash, intending to find a chance to toss them outside the camp.
These three must have been forgotten and remained stuck in the folds of her clothes.
Knowing this was rather unseemly, she tried to pick them up secretly, but the man's eyes were sharp.
"What fell out of your clothes?"
Embarrassed, she gathered the three pits in her palm and hesitated for a while before showing them to him.
The Emperor stared at the three dark pits for what seemed like a full half-minute, then suddenly laughed.
He rarely laughed, and laughing aloud was even rarer. Even when he did, it wasn't a laugh in the usual sense; it often made one's heart turn cold. But that laugh just now had a touch of an ordinary person about it. Even the dust on his face seemed to come alive with it.
Xiao Nanhui stared blankly at him, feeling that the man was exceptionally unusual tonight—unusual in a way that made her uneasy.
"What else are you hiding in those clothes? Why not pour it all out at once?"
She heard the teasing in his voice and, feeling a bit unwilling to lose face, decided to turn the situation around.
"These pits are good things too. It would be a waste to throw them away."
With that, she picked up a nearby stone and cracked the pits open with a few strikes, carefully extracting the kernels.
Three apricot kernels, the size of fingernails, round and plump.
She picked one up and tasted it. It was a bit astringent, but it had a sweet fragrance. She placed the remaining two in his palm.
"Your Majesty, at a time like this, let's not be wasteful."
Two bitter apricot kernels might not even have been worth a mention in normal times, but now they were somewhat precious.
He looked at them for a while, then slowly put one into his mouth.
He ate very slowly, as if he wanted to grind the kernel into dust before swallowing it.
Then he turned his palm over, and the remaining kernel disappeared into his wide sleeve along with his hand.
The campfire continued to crackle. The long, cold night was truly difficult to endure.
After an unknown amount of time, Xiao Nanhui turned her curled-up body in another direction, brushing the snow from her head.
She had been holding Pingxian and guarding the windward side. Only when she turned did she realize his posture hadn't changed; he was still leaning there at that angle.
She remembered the carriage when they left Huozhou; he had slept like this even while ill.
How could someone be used to sleeping this way?
"Is Your Majesty not asleep yet?"
Her voice was very soft, nearly dissipating in the wind.
The dark figure shifted slightly. "It's cold. I cannot sleep."
She rubbed her hands together, then crawled up. She took the coarse outer jacket she had propped by the fire and put it on backward over her front.
*Crunch, crunch.*
It was the sound of her footsteps stepping through the thin accumulation of snow.
Then, warmth came from behind him.
She carried the scent of woodsmoke from the fire, hot and a bit rough and jarring, like a headstrong hound pressing itself against him.
"When I left my hometown, I was only six or seven. I've forgotten most other things, but I remember hunger and cold clearly. Back then, there were many children like me in Suyan. At night, everyone would huddle together for warmth, and the older ones would comfort the younger ones."
A pair of somewhat rough hands brushed over his back, patting him gently.
"Sleep... it won't be cold once you're asleep..."
The voice behind him was low, blurred and indistinct in the wind and snow, carrying the faint exhaustion of a traveler.
The snow continued to fall across the sky, as if telling of a cold night that had no end.
The Emperor’s tightly closed eyes slowly opened. The campfire reflected in his pupils, like the starlight that had fallen to the earth in ancient myths.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 宿岩 | Suyan | A region/place name, likely in the north. |
| 天沐河 | Tianmu River | A river in the story's setting. |
| 平弦 | Pingxian | Xiao Nanhui's weapon (a spear/polearm). |
| 安道院 | Andao Academy | An organization or institute in the novel. |
| 夜枭 | Night Owl | Messenger birds used by the Andao Academy. |
| 黄羊 | Yellow Sheep | Likely Przewalski's gazelle or a similar wild sheep/antelope. |
| 碧疆 | Bijiang | A border region or territory. |
| 阙城 | Quecheng | A major city, likely the capital or a central hub. |
| 魏翔 | Wei Xiang | The Emperor's personal guard/attendant. |
| 莫春花 | Mo Chunhua | A character mentioned (likely a subordinate or acquaintance). |
