Su Jingming woke up close to midnight. Seeing the murky darkness outside the window, he realized it wasn't dawn yet and thought he could sleep a little longer.
Su Jingming acted on the thought immediately, rolling over to wrap himself tightly in the quilt and slowly closing his eyes.
A moment of silence passed.
Then, Su Jingming threw back the covers and sat up abruptly. Because he rose too fast, his head spun for a second, and he slumped back onto the bed. The scattered lights from outside filtered in along with the moonlight. Looking down, he realized the clothes he was wearing looked very familiar.
He had seen Wen Yan wear them several times.
Just then, the bedroom door facing him slowly opened. Wen Yan saw Su Jingming sitting on the edge of the bed and a flash of surprise crossed his eyes. Su Jingming looked exhausted, his hair was a mess, the corners of his eyes were slightly flushed, and his pupils seemed particularly bright in the dark of the night.
Wen Yan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He lowered his gaze, closed the door, and walked in with light steps.
Just as Su Jingming was about to speak, Wen Yan reached him first. He leaned down and pressed a finger against Su Jingming’s lips.
"They’re all asleep," he whispered, his breath fanning across Su Jingming’s face.
Su Jingming snapped awake instantly, the grogginess in his head gradually receding.
Sensing the confusion in Su Jingming’s eyes, Wen Yan said, "You accidentally drank my wine and got drunk."
Su Jingming blinked, his voice low and raspy. "Then did I... do anything stupid?"
Wen Yan chuckled softly. "No."
Su Jingming looked at him with a hint of disbelief. Wen Yan withdrew his finger and sat down beside him. "You don't believe me?"
The lights weren't on in the room. Su Jingming turned his head to look at him.
Wen Yan’s profile was exquisite, his nose bridge high and straight. Moving downward, his Adam’s apple rose and fell as he swallowed.
Further down... Wen Yan had changed into a loose long-sleeved shirt, revealing a pale, smooth neck and clearly defined collarbones.
Su Jingming reflexively swallowed. Wen Yan seemed to sense his gaze and met his eyes.
The moment their gazes collided, it felt as if the world had fallen silent, and the clamor outside the window drifted further and further away.
Wen Yan’s eyes grew darker. He called out softly, "Little Hero."
"Huh...?"
The moment he responded, Wen Yan reached out and gave him a direct push, sending Su Jingming sinking into the soft mattress behind him.
His eyes widened as he looked up at Wen Yan above him.
There was still some distance between their bodies. From Su Jingming’s perspective, Wen Yan had one leg on the edge of the bed and the other kneeling by his side, his hands propped up on either side of Su Jingming.
With a hidden smile in his eyes, Wen Yan asked in a low voice, "What were you looking at just now?"
Su Jingming didn't dare look Wen Yan in the eye; his gaze flickered erratically. "...Nothing, I wasn't looking at anything."
"Is that so?" The smile at the corners of Wen Yan’s mouth deepened. He lowered his head slightly, coming very close to Su Jingming’s ear. His breath brushed against the shell of Su Jingming’s ear, making his heart feel as if it were covered in crawling ants, an unbearable itch.
Caught in a dilemma by this move, Su Jingming raised his hand, intending to push Wen Yan away. His hand paused in mid-air, never quite finding the strength to push. He could smell the scent of Wen Yan’s body wash—a faint, clean fragrance.
"You're drunk," Su Jingming said, giving him an out.
He only heard a low laugh by his ear. "Yes, I'm drunk."
Drunk beyond reason.
"Then go to sleep quickly. I should go home." Su Jingming hadn't forgotten there were people at his house. "Otherwise, my dad will worry."
"It's fine. I picked up when your dad called. I told him you were drunk and would stay at my place today."
Su Jingming couldn't tell if Wen Yan was doing it on purpose, but he felt the breath fanning against him was agonizing, making every nerve in his body feel magnified a thousand times over, incredibly sensitive.
Su Jingming licked his lips. Wen Yan took a deep breath by his ear. "Do you have any idea how cute you are when you're drunk?"
Su Jingming frowned. Cute?
His hand, which had been hovering in the air, suddenly slapped Wen Yan’s back.
"Wait, get up first." His tone was somewhat serious.
Startled, Wen Yan sat up. Su Jingming sat halfway up on the bed, his face and ears flushed red. "What did you just say? Say it again."
"I said you're cute."
"The main point."
"Cute when drunk."
Su Jingming was silent for a moment. "So what idiotic thing did I do this time? Just say it and get it over with."
Seeing that he insisted on knowing, Wen Yan mused, "You said, 'There is light in the world.'"
Su Jingming breathed a sigh of relief. That was acceptable.
"And then you prepared to stand on a chair in front of my parents and Wen Miao to fight little monsters."
"But it's okay, I held you back."
Wen Yan’s tone was incredibly gentle—so gentle that Su Jingming’s entire scalp felt numb.
"I'm a fucking..." Su Jingming ran his hands through his hair several times, the redness at the corners of his eyes still lingering. "I really did that?"
Wen Yan nodded. "It's not a big deal."
Su Jingming went into a state of self-imposed isolation.
Watching him hang his head, Wen Yan suddenly wondered if he was being a bit too mean. After all, this kind of thing...
"Tell me, is it too late for me to go back to living on M78?" Su Jingming suddenly asked him, his expression exceptionally serious.
"I think it might be too late." Wen Yan paused. "Besides, Tiga didn't come from M78."
Su Jingming fell deeper into his shell.
Wen Yan suppressed a laugh and stood up. "Don't think too much. Go to sleep; it's getting late."
Su Jingming looked up. "You're not sleeping here?"
"You want to sleep with me?" Wen Yan arched an eyebrow. By the moonlight from the window, he could visibly see Su Jingming’s face turn red instantly.
Knowing when to stop, Wen Yan was about to say he would go sleep on the sofa.
"It's not... impossible."
Su Jingming’s voice was very small and he spoke very quickly. He lowered his head, staring at the quilt he was unconsciously clutching in his palms.
Wen Yan’s eyelids flickered as he looked at Su Jingming in silence.
A loud boom echoed from the sky as brilliant fireworks blossomed in the air.
They brought a fleeting light that shone through the window into the corner of the room, casting their shadows long across the floor. The emotions suppressed in their hearts were on the verge of bursting forth.
Wen Yan took several steps back and opened the bedroom door, his hand gripping the handle tightly. "My bed isn't big enough. It would be a bit cramped for two people."
He practically fled after saying that, fearing that if he stayed, he would regret it.
Su Jingming listened as the door was softly closed. The fireworks outside stopped, leaving only faint breaths and a violent heartbeat.
Separated by a single wall, it was as if they could see through each other's thoughts, yet also as if they couldn't.
Wen Yan sat on the sofa, fiddling with his phone incessantly without processing a single word. He looked up toward the bedroom and took several deep breaths. His teeth and the depths of his heart felt itchy—an itch he was powerless to scratch. For a moment, he had desperately wanted to agree to Su Jingming’s suggestion, but his reason told him he couldn't.
Once he stayed, Wen Yan himself couldn't say for sure what would happen.
He had almost been unable to restrain himself, nearly drowning completely in Su Jingming’s eyes.
His Little Hero was always silently stripping away his last shreds of sanity.
At this age, his hands and feet were tied.
***
Su Jingming woke up very early the next day. Upon opening the door, he heard movement coming from the kitchen.
Mother Wen had made breakfast for the children, and Wen Yan was nearby helping out.
Mother Wen: "I told your father not to push the drinking. Little Su was so drunk yesterday. He’s not even an adult yet; what if it hurts his health?"
Wen Yan: "It's fine. It was just a one-time thing. Dad was just too happy."
"Even if he's happy, he needs to know when to stop. Look, the boy can't even get up today." Mother Wen turned off the stove and stirred the pot a few times with a spoon. "When Little Su wakes up, remember to make him a glass of honey water."
"Yeah, I know."
Su Jingming stood where he was, pursing his lips. Wen Yan saw him as he came out carrying bowls of plain congee. "Go wash up first. The toiletries are in the bathroom. Come out and eat breakfast when you're done."
Hearing this, Mother Wen quickly poked her head out. "Little Su, does your head hurt?"
"It's fine, Auntie. It doesn't hurt." Su Jingming scratched his cheek with a finger.
"That's good. Hurry and wash up, then have breakfast." Seeing him like this, Mother Wen felt relieved and went back into the kitchen.
Wen Yan shrugged, a helpless smile playing on his lips.
After having breakfast at the Wen house, Su Jingming said his goodbyes. Mother Wen saw him off at the door. "Look at how much of your time we took up, and we even let you get drunk. Wen Yan’s father still hasn't woken up yet. Go home and get some good rest, and please apologize to your father on my behalf."
Su Jingming waved his hands hurriedly. "I've troubled you all day, Auntie. I'm the one who should be embarrassed."
After some brief pleasantries, Mother Wen watched the two of them head out. Wen Miao yawned. "Mom, I'm going back in to sleep for a bit."
Mother Wen grabbed Wen Miao. "Don't sleep. Go do your homework."
"??"
Just as they got downstairs, Su Jingming wrapped his coat tightly around himself. He wrinkled his nose; the coat was stained with a faint smell of alcohol, which dispersed as the cold wind blew.
Seeing him like this, Wen Yan asked, "Are you cold?"
"No."
It was just that he hadn't had a proper New Year in a long time.
At the Wen house, he had truly felt the festive spirit. Father and Mother Wen were both warm and easy to get along with.
Su Jingming usually didn't care about such things, but after experiencing it last night, he realized he was being a bit sentimental.
He was, after all, only seventeen—the age when emotions are most abundant.
Wen Yan seemed to sense Su Jingming’s mood. Thinking about how Su Jingming was about to return to that house and face that kind of father, his heart ached.
He really wanted to take Su Jingming’s hand and tell him firmly:
*Why don't you just come to my house for New Year from now on?*
His fingers almost touched Su Jingming’s, but he forced himself to pull back.
Why was he only this age?
An age where he couldn't take care of him.
Both lost in their own thoughts, they walked a long way. Su Jingming snapped back to reality; there were more people on the streets than the previous two days, and the shops along the road were playing New Year music. Su Jingming had his hands in his pockets. His gaze drifted toward the fork in the road ahead. Both stood still, neither suggesting it was time to head back.
Wen Yan looked down and called his name.
"Su Jingming."
"Yeah?"
"Can you promise me one thing?"
"Tell me."
"Let's spend next New Year together."
Su Jingming would never forget that cold winter, when that person made a promise to him on the side of the street. The heavy gates that had always kept Su Jingming locked away were being pushed open bit by bit by Wen Yan, who brought with him a warm light that gradually illuminated his world.
*I cannot promise you the future right now.*
*But I can promise you the present.*
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| M78星云 | Nebula M78 | The home of the Ultras in the Ultraman franchise. |
| 迪迦 | Tiga | Refers to Ultraman Tiga. |
| 世界上有光 | There is light in the world | A popular Chinese internet meme/phrase associated with believing in Ultraman and hope. |
| 小怪兽 | Little monsters | Kaiju/monsters from the Ultraman series. |
| 年味 | Festive spirit / New Year atmosphere | Literally "the taste of the year," referring to the traditional feeling of the Lunar New Year. |
