Wen Yan returned to the ward and opened the door to find Su Jingming looking utterly bewildered. His eyes were slightly rimmed with red, and he hadn't yet found the words to speak. Wen Yan strode forward and sat by the hospital bed, pressing his lips together. His voice trembled slightly as he began, "You..."
"Little Monster," Su Jingming said first, preempting him. "Where did you go just now?"
"Just downstairs," Wen Yan replied.
Su Jingming gave a small "oh." He clutched his phone nervously, asking with cautious curiosity, "Have you ever seen Ultraman?"
Wen Yan’s eyes suddenly darkened. He whispered, "I have."
"Really?" Su Jingming’s eyes instantly brightened. His grip on the phone relaxed, and his thumb began to slowly stroke the screen.
Wen Yan followed the movement. The screen hadn't timed out yet, and he saw the contact name Su Jingming had given him: *Monster*.
In that moment, Wen Yan felt as if his chest were filled with stones, the weight so heavy he could hardly breathe.
Su Jingming continued, "My favorite is Tiga. Hey, do you know Tiga?"
"I know him," Wen Yan said, his voice low and thick. "Where there is light in the world, there is Tiga."
Hearing this, a smile gradually spread across Su Jingming’s face—a smile Wen Yan had never seen before. He repeated foolishly, "Where there is light in the world, there is Tiga."
Wen Yan felt as though he were sitting on a bed of needles. He stood up, silently observing Su Jingming.
Su Jingming looked back at him curiously, the light in his eyes growing more intense. Wen Yan let out a silent sigh. Just as he was about to say something, the ward door opened.
Wen Yan turned to see Su Jingming’s mother, accompanied by a doctor.
Wen Yan instinctively greeted Cheng Hui and retreated into a corner.
Before Cheng Hui could say much to Wen Yan, she turned to the doctor. "Doctor, my son seems... different since he woke up."
Wen Yan lowered his gaze at those words. He took a deep breath unnoticed and slowly let it out.
The doctor performed a brief examination on Su Jingming, then suddenly pointed at Wen Yan standing in the corner. "Do you know him?" he asked Su Jingming.
Su Jingming nodded. "I know him. He’s the Little Monster."
The doctor then pointed at Cheng Hui. "And her?"
Su Jingming looked at Cheng Hui for a long time. Under her expectant gaze, he said unnaturally, "Mom."
The doctor pursed his lips and signaled for Cheng Hui to step outside. For a moment, only Wen Yan and Su Jingming were left in the room.
Su Jingming sat on the bed while Wen Yan leaned against the cold wall. The windows were shut tight, and the temperature in the room was gradually rising.
After a long silence, Wen Yan walked to the window and pushed it open.
A gust of warm air rushed inside.
With his back to Su Jingming, the summer wind ruffled the curtains and the hem of the boy's shirt.
Suddenly, Wen Yan called out to him: "Su Jingming."
Su Jingming dithered for a second. "Are you calling me?"
"Yes." Wen Yan lowered his head slightly, watching the ceaseless flow of people below. He asked, "Do you still remember who I am?"
***
The summer of 2022 was a year Wen Yan and Su Jingming would never be able to forget.
That year, the long alleys were filled with the tireless cries of street vendors.
At the end of the street, there were always delinquent thugs getting into fights.
In the old residential building, Uncle Li and Auntie Li were arguing again, this time over a young waitress at the corner restaurant.
Mount Feng still offered a panoramic view of Liangcheng.
The students of No. 2 Middle School were still fretting over their exams.
The summer of that year seemed no different from any other, yet something was missing.
It was restless and bitter.
*The screams in my ears, the blood spreading beneath my feet, and the road ahead swallowed by darkness.*
*I think I heard someone calling my name.*
*But I can't remember his face.*
Su Jingming woke up from another nightmare, drenched in sweat.
He reached for some tissues by the bed and meticulously wiped the perspiration from his forehead. Suddenly, someone opened the door. The person was wearing a simple, dark short-sleeved shirt and holding two Ultraman Tiga figures—one large, one small.
Su Jingming’s eyes gradually lit up, his voice still raspy. "Tiga?"
Wen Yan gave a soft grunt of affirmation. Seeing the unnatural flush on the boy's face, he walked over and gently placed the figures on the headboard. "Another nightmare?"
Su Jingming’s gaze didn't leave the Tiga figures. He said, "I keep having the same dream lately."
Wen Yan sat by the bed and asked patiently, "What dream?"
"...I dream of someone screaming, and there's blood on the floor. I can't see where the blood is coming from, it just keeps flowing... and someone is calling my name." Su Jingming’s face scrunched up. Then he asked, "Where's my mom?"
"Auntie went to buy ribs. She said she’s making sweet and sour ribs for you." Wen Yan’s voice softened. "Do you want to sleep a bit longer? It’s still early."
"I'm not sleeping. I feel like I've been sleeping forever." Su Jingming reached for the Tiga figures on the nightstand. "When did I buy this big one? I don't remember it at all."
Wen Yan didn't speak; he just sat silently by the bed. When the sound of movement came from the living room, Su Jingming curiously tried to poke his head out to look. Wen Yan lightly patted his head. "Just stay lying down. I'll go see if she needs help. Don't cause trouble."
Su Jingming gave an "oh" and obediently lay back down, hugging his Ultraman.
Wen Yan tucked him in and stepped out of the room.
Cheng Hui had bought a lot of groceries. Seeing Wen Yan come out, she said, "Thank you for your hard work, Wen Yan."
Wen Yan shook his head. "Do you need help, Auntie?"
Cheng Hui hesitated for a moment before finally nodding.
Wen Yan stood by the sink, washing the vegetables bit by bit. Cheng Hui glanced at the boy beside her several times before finally speaking. "Jingming is lucky to have a friend like you... Once he’s better, he really needs to thank you properly."
Wen Yan’s movements paused at those words. "Auntie, you're overstating it."
"I never imagined his father would do such a thing."
Cheng Hui sighed. After Su Qicheng’s incident, the shock had been too much for Su Jingming. His mind and memory had regressed to the year before Cheng Hui and Su Qicheng divorced. He no longer recognized the people around him; he had forgotten the nine years of domestic abuse, forgotten Su Qicheng’s suicide, and forgotten Wen Yan.
To prevent Su Jingming from being triggered again, Cheng Hui had rented a temporary apartment to care for him, as he now had the mental capacity of a seven or eight-year-old. Wen Yan had simply taken a long leave of absence from school, coming every day to keep Su Jingming company.
"The doctor said Jingming’s condition is... uncertain."
Wen Yan looked up, placing the washed vegetables into a clean basket. He listened quietly, waiting for her to continue.
"Wen Yan," Cheng Hui said seriously. "I know you and Jingming are very close, and that you care about him deeply, but..."
"But Jingming might be like this for the rest of his life." As Cheng Hui spoke, her voice began to tremble. She didn't stop chopping the vegetables, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "The police called me in again this afternoon. I saw that photo."
Wen Yan felt as if all the strength had been drained from his body. It felt like he was treading on cotton—unstable and weightless.
Cheng Hui finished chopping the ribs in silence. She put them in a pot of cold water to blanch, then leaned her hands against the counter, struggling to control her emotions. "Why are you two like this?"
Wen Yan didn't know how to answer.
Cheng Hui suddenly slammed her fist against the counter. Wen Yan cried out, "Auntie!"
"Why are you two like this?!" Cheng Hui looked up at him. She had felt something was off from the very beginning, but it wasn't until the police showed her that photograph this afternoon that she felt her world had collapsed.
Looking back, Wen Yan’s care for Su Jingming over the past half-month had been meticulous to a fault—every small detail was enough to spark suspicion.
He was always patient when coaxing Su Jingming; even when the boy threw tantrums, Wen Yan never showed a hint of annoyance.
Every time Su Jingming woke from a nightmare, Wen Yan was there to softly comfort him.
Su Jingming’s reliance on Wen Yan was subconscious; he seemed to only feel at peace when he could see him every day.
After a moment of silence, Wen Yan said weakly, "I'm sorry."
The words were pale and hollow.
Cheng Hui stared fixedly at the boy before her. She felt a flicker of pity, yet she could not accept it.
The pot on the stove began to boil. Cheng Hui wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and looked away. "Go be with Jingming."
For the first time, Wen Yan felt the distance from the kitchen to the bedroom was incredibly long.
His steps lacked their usual steadiness.
He opened the bedroom door. Su Jingming was still in the same position as when he left, the two Tiga figures resting on the pillow beside him.
Wen Yan hid the emotions in his eyes and sat by the bed. Before he could speak, Su Jingming asked, "Little Monster, are you unhappy?"
Wen Yan froze. His hands, hanging at his sides, clenched tight. His throat felt blocked, unable to produce a single sound.
"...No."
"Really?" Su Jingming blinked. "But I can feel that you're unhappy."
Wen Yan slowly closed his eyes. His clenched fists trembled slightly as a sense of helplessness washed over him.
*God.*
*If loving him is a sin, then after I die...*
*Let me go to hell. I go willingly.*
***
