Su Jingming was still visibly shaken when he emerged from the haunted house, having gripped the hem of Wen Yan’s shirt tightly from the moment they entered until they stepped back out. His screams inside had been no less intense than those on the roller coaster, and his legs were still trembling as he walked into the light.
Wen Yan watched him with an amused expression. "I thought Ultraman wasn't supposed to be afraid of things like this."
Su Jingming froze. "...Who... who said that?"
"Is that so? I don't know much about Ultraman. I just assumed he wouldn't be afraid of ghosts and demons." Wen Yan led Su Jingming to a rest area and ordered a glass of juice for him.
Like a child, Su Jingming kicked up a fuss, insisting on having a Coke instead.
Wen Yan refused him in a calm voice. "You screamed so hard just now; drinking Coke won't be good for your throat."
Su Jingming obeyed. His throat did indeed feel dry and sore from all the shouting.
There weren't many tourists in the amusement park, so the two teenagers sat quietly on the bench. Wen Yan lazily lifted his eyelids, catching the sight of Su Jingming licking the corner of his mouth with the tip of his tongue. It was the most ordinary of actions, yet in Wen Yan’s eyes, it carried a different flavor.
It was a sensation mixed with the sweltering heat of summer and a hint of bitterness.
Su Jingming’s eighteenth year was passing slowly and with much heartache. The remaining ice cubes in the glass before them gradually melted, and the scent of summer permeated the air.
*It is clearly summer, yet I cannot feel a single spark of heat.*
After sitting for nearly an hour, Wen Yan looked down to straighten the hem of his shirt and asked nonchalantly, "Where else do you want to go?"
Su Jingming had finally been waiting for Wen Yan to ask. His fingers rubbed against the glass. "I want to go home."
Wen Yan was slightly taken aback. Before he could speak, Su Jingming added, "To my old home."
Under Su Jingming’s expectant gaze, Wen Yan remained silent for a long while. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. "...Alright. I’ll take you back."
Wen Yan led Su Jingming toward that old, familiar street. Every traffic light along the way was green, the path unobstructed. Even Wen Yan felt a sense of trance-like displacement.
Was taking him back right, or was it wrong?
He couldn't figure it out, nor did he understand it.
Wen Yan thought that he was, after all, selfish. He wanted Su Jingming to remember; he wanted Su Jingming to stay by his side. Such a method was cruel—so cruel that even splitting his own heart in two would not be enough to make amends.
*It must be right.*
*I am not wrong. I only want to keep him.*
Without informing Cheng Hui in advance, Wen Yan took Su Jingming’s hand as they stepped out of the car. He patiently and gently straightened Su Jingming’s clothes. "If you feel uncomfortable at any point later, you must tell me," he said softly. "I’ll be holding onto you the whole time."
Su Jingming didn't quite understand what Wen Yan meant, so he simply tilted his head to look at him.
Ahead lay a long street that stretched endlessly, looking exactly as it did in his memory. The surrounding vendors and the mottled walls were the footprints left by time.
Su Jingming took a deep breath, unnoticed, and was just about to take his first step when Wen Yan suddenly pulled him into his arms with a forceful tug.
In plain view of everyone, Wen Yan lowered his head and kissed his forehead.
"Su Jingming, you'll probably forgive me, won't you?"
His voice was so soft that Su Jingming thought he was hallucinating.
In the next instant, Wen Yan released him. The emotions in his eyes grew deeper, carrying a meaning that Su Jingming could not decipher.
Wen Yan let go of his hand. "Let’s go."
Like a marionette, Su Jingming followed Wen Yan’s words and began walking toward the scenes familiar to his mind.
Whether it was the mundane "smoke and fire" of daily life hidden in the long alleys or the general clamor of the world, every step Su Jingming took felt like an immersive experience. A sense of reality—the reality that had been missing during this period—began to surge through his entire body.
He couldn't describe exactly what the feeling was.
Suddenly, his footsteps faltered. Wen Yan also stopped and stood beside him.
A piercing scream erupted from the hair salon ahead.
"You little slut! Seducing my husband all day long—are you that desperate for a man?" Auntie Li, wearing a tight short-sleeved shirt and a pair of men’s oversized boxers, stood at the entrance of the salon with her hands on her hips, cursing at the young girl inside.
"It's your husband who can't control himself! He comes here to wash his hair every single day for no reason. I’d like to ask, is Auntie Li’s house out of shampoo? You can't keep a leash on your own man, yet you want to blame others? Instead of wasting time here, why don't you go look in a mirror? Look at yourself—what kind of man would like you now?!"
Su Jingming couldn't see what the salon girl looked like, but judging by her voice, she wasn't very old.
Auntie Li spat on the ground and rushed into the salon as if she were ready to go down in flames with the girl. Moments later, the sounds of two women screaming and scuffling drifted out.
Su Jingming silently lowered his head, his fingertips hanging by his sides rubbing together incessantly. From beginning to end, Wen Yan’s gaze remained fixed on Su Jingming. "What’s wrong?" he asked in a low voice.
Su Jingming sniffled. "Nothing. I just feel like life is quite hard for Auntie Li and Uncle Li."
These words didn't sound like something the current Su Jingming would say. Wen Yan was momentarily stunned, suppressing the tremble at the corners of his mouth. "Are you... remembering..."
Before he could finish, Su Jingming looked up at him. "Little Monster, so who is actually in the wrong here?"
Wen Yan saw only a child’s innocence in his eyes. The stir in his heart from a moment ago was instantly dismantled, crushed into dust until nothing remained.
"We can't judge who is right or wrong in their business. After all, we aren't them. We can't judge from an outsider's perspective."
Su Jingming listened, only half-understanding. He no longer cared whether Auntie Li won or the salon girl lost. He cast an indifferent glance at the salon entrance and continued walking forward, following his instincts.
Su Jingming remained silent, and Wen Yan was equally quiet. With every step, Su Jingming felt his heart racing frantically. His palms gradually became covered in a fine sweat until his pace grew faster and faster, eventually breaking into a light jog.
"Su Jingming!!!"
Suddenly, someone called out to him.
Su Jingming turned toward the sound. The person approaching made him unable to speak for a long time.
Ren Wei and Wen Yan shared a silent, knowing nod at that moment. Wen Yan stepped aside to make room. Ren Wei strode up and clapped Su Jingming on the shoulder. "Where have you been playing lately? I couldn't find you anywhere."
"...You are..." Su Jingming pursed his lips, failing to say Ren Wei’s name. "I haven't been anywhere."
Ren Wei raised an eyebrow, maintaining his usual roguish air. "Going out to play without bringing your good brother? Have you forgotten about me?"
Su Jingming was at a loss for words. His impression of Ren Wei was indeed not very deep. Only in hindsight did he realize that the Auntie Li he had just encountered was also slightly different from the one in his memory.
Seeing Su Jingming like this, Ren Wei didn't say much more. He patted Su Jingming’s shoulder firmly.
Su Jingming looked at him in pain, about to complain, when he saw Ren Wei’s eyes gradually turning red.
Ren Wei said, "Ming-ge, take care of yourself."
Before Su Jingming could process the meaning behind those words, Ren Wei turned and walked away.
It wasn't until Su Jingming stopped at the base of the residential building that he slowly looked up at the old structure. It was the same as in his memory, yet different. His Adam's apple bobbed as he struggled to speak, but the words remained stuck in his throat.
Su Jingming later discovered to his surprise that it wasn't that he couldn't speak; it was that he simply didn't know what to say.
He clearly had so, so much to say, yet at this moment, it all became blurred.
Su Jingming instinctively took a step back, his back bumping directly into Wen Yan’s chest.
June in Liangcheng was too hot. The burning bodies of the two teenagers seemed to attract one another; through the thin layer of their clothes, they seemed to communicate the emotions within their hearts.
"What is it?" Wen Yan asked him.
Su Jingming covered his eyes with his hand. "I think I saw something."
"What did you see?"
Su Jingming was silent for a few seconds. "Blood."
Receiving such an answer, Wen Yan didn't know whether he should be happy or sad.
He placed his hands on Su Jingming’s shoulders, nearly losing control of his emotions. He asked softly, "Anything else?"
Su Jingming shook his head. "No."
Wen Yan gripped his shoulders tightly, his tone pleading. "Su Jingming, maybe you'll think I'm cruel, but at this age, I'm at my wit's end. I can only use the most selfish method to keep you here. Even if I have to beg you... can you be brave just this once? Go upstairs and take a look."
As he reached the end of his sentence, Wen Yan pulled a key from his pocket and placed it in Su Jingming’s palm. "Today is your eighteenth birthday. You should have been happy, but I... I really..."
Wen Yan’s throat choked up, and even his eyes reddened. Time was giving him no quarter—time that he could neither fight nor escape.
Su Jingming’s back was to him, so he didn't see Wen Yan’s red eyes, but he could feel it. The person behind him was filled with a profound sadness and bitterness.
He was begging him.
Begging him not to leave.
Su Jingming tightened his grip on the key. He kept his head down. Was it his imagination? The path beneath his feet suddenly seemed to shift between near and far. It was right before his eyes, yet he hesitated to take that first step.
Su Jingming was waiting—waiting for the moment he truly dared to step forward.
Wen Yan was also waiting. He was waiting for his little hero to return. As long as he could come back, Wen Yan would endure it, whether Su Jingming blamed him or hated him.
The two of them stood there for a full ten minutes. Su Jingming’s limbs felt numb. Even taking a deep breath didn't alleviate the sensation. Suddenly, his vision went dark as a pair of cool palms covered his eyes.
Wen Yan’s voice trembled. "I beg you."
Su Jingming’s heart ached. The feeling vanished in an instant, before he could even grasp the pain.
He reached up and moved Wen Yan’s hands away. "Little Monster, I just need to go up and look, right?"
"Yes."
Su Jingming swallowed hard. Driven by the unease in his heart, he finally took the first step.
That single step seemed to drain all the strength from his body; his legs nearly gave way. Wen Yan supported him from behind. Only then did Su Jingming look up and see the emotions in the other boy's eyes.
Unease.
Endurance.
Restraint.
And even remorse.
Su Jingming patted the hands supporting him twice. He steadied himself and stepped onto the first stair.
The old residential building looked like a scene from an old movie. The twilight sun, filtering through the cracks in a nearby window, hit the wall like a slow-motion shot, scenes flashing before Su Jingming’s eyes one by one.
He had lived here for over a decade.
The images of those dozen or so years played out like a revolving lantern, moving slowly. That light, airy feeling returned to his feet.
Once again, he lost his sense of reality.
*Where exactly am I living? Why are there no traces of me left behind?*
***
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