I lay upon a thick, horizontal branch, quietly gazing at the deep blue night sky peeking through the gaps in the foliage. The clear night was like the most profound and enchanting sapphire, with twinkling stars so close they felt as if they could be touched with a reaching hand.
Since leaving Zhongjing, I had grown afraid of the night. Sleep eluded me once darkness fell. Perhaps it was a lingering side effect of the extreme nervous tension from the first few days of my escape. Whatever the cause, I was fine during the day, but as soon as night arrived, my mind became a chaotic whirl of thoughts, making rest impossible.
I carefully shifted my body on the branch.
So many days had passed; Old Dad and my Little Mother must know by now. I wondered what they thought. And Minzhi—he likely blamed everything on Ming Shao.
I shook my head, and the image of Wu Xiu’s wedding flashed before my eyes. She had been dressed in the crimson bridal robes sent from the palace, embroidered with seven-colored auspicious clouds and patterns of blooming flowers under a full moon. Her crown had been draped with strings of pearls, and she had leaned into my ear to whisper a small complaint: "I fear my neck will break before I even reach the palace." Yet, that complaint had been laced with an irrepressible happiness.
I once thought I had attained the happiness I sought. But only now, when my heart was filled with melancholy, did I realize that the smile of anticipation once seen on Wu Xiu’s face was the true happiness every woman most desired in the depths of her heart.
Would he... gradually forget me? A willful woman like me, never gentle enough—would I eventually fade into the background of his peaceful life, bit by bit?
I buried my face in the crook of my arm and sighed deeply.
I had thought that fleeing far away would bring peace back to my heart, but this inescapable pain had already formed a scar that could not be ignored. At the slightest touch, it ached to the very core.
***
The water was clear and cold. When I drank, it had a faint, crisp sweetness.
After washing my face, I sat on a stone by the lakeside, idly combing through my hair with my fingers.
A light morning mist permeated the valley, and the damp air was filled with the fresh scent of trees. The crisp chirping of birds echoed through the woods. In the distance, a waterfall cascaded down the slope, kicking up a blur of mist against the rocks that caught the rising sun, creating a faint, ethereal rainbow.
Ten-Thousand-Year Love strolled leisurely by the lake, its powerful silhouette reflected in the calm water. It looked around from time to time, seemingly sharing my admiration for this mysterious, Eden-like valley.
I pulled off my shoes and socks, dipping my feet into the lake. The chilling, comfortable sensation spread through my entire body. There was no one in this valley; perhaps I could...
I quickly scanned my surroundings. Aside from the waterfall and the lake, there was only the lush, dense forest and the brilliant blue sky above. I reached out to unfasten my collar but suddenly hesitated. Would the water be too cold? Such cold water might make the baby uncomfortable. Since leaving Zhongjing, we had stuck to sparsely populated paths and hadn't even had a proper bath...
As I struggled with the decision, Ten-Thousand-Year Love suddenly raised its head alertly, let out an uneasy snort, and galloped toward me.
The birds stopped singing. A slight tremor rippled through the valley air.
I gripped my long blade, scanning the valley that had turned eerily quiet.
A shrill, piercing cry suddenly rang out.
I leaped onto the great black horse and sped toward the source of the sound. By then, the screams had become intermittent, mingled with the low growls of wild beasts.
Realizing it wasn't pursuers, I breathed a sigh of relief.
During this season, the Cang-cats that roamed the Great Desert of the Iron Dragon Tribe crossed the border, passing through the Gobi wasteland to forage in the food-rich woodlands. The two Cang-cats before me were larger than adult leopards, their tan fur shimmering with golden spots. Judging by their coats, they weren't lacking for food; why would they attack a human?
An old man was cornered beneath a tree, one arm already injured. In his other hand, he gripped a wooden club the thickness of an arm. His face was drenched in sweat. At his feet, a herb basket had been overturned, spilling various medicinal plants across the ground. When he saw me, a look of startled joy surfaced in his despairing eyes.
The two large Cang-cats turned lazily to look at me. One of them began to saunter toward us.
Ten-Thousand-Year Love stomped its hooves and let out a long, warning hiss. These beasts weren't hard to deal with, but I feared the scent of blood would draw more of them; Cang-cats were extremely sensitive to it.
The cat approached cautiously. Seeing that we had no intention of retreating, a hint of doubt flickered in its emerald eyes. I pulled a medicinal pellet from my robe and flicked it at the large tree beside the cat. The brown pellet hit the trunk and burst with a "pop," immediately filling the air with a pungent scent of sulfur. The two Cang-cats wrinkled their noses uneasily and bounded into the dense forest, one after the other.
The old man dropped his wooden club and collapsed to the ground as if all his strength had vanished.
I jumped off the horse and helped him up. He leaned against the tree, panting heavily. He looked to be between fifty and sixty years old, with a lean face and a shallow scratch at his temple. He was tall and thin, his small eyes flashing with sharp intelligence even in his exhaustion.
Looking at the wound on his arm, it didn't seem like a bite from a beast, but rather...
"I was careless," the old man said, opening his eyes and offering a weak smile. "I fell from a tree trying to pick a White Jade Fungus. I hurt my arm, and the scent of blood drew the Cang-cats..." He coughed twice and pointed tremulously at his basket. "There are a few herbs in there that can treat the wound."
I ignored him and took out my own medicine to apply to his injury.
The old man let out a surprised "Eh?" and snatched the medicine box, looking it over. He brought it to his nose and sniffed twice, then looked up at me in great astonishment. "The Poison Fairy’s wound medicine? How do you have this?"
I paused slightly. "She is my master. Why is it strange for me to have her medicine?"
The old man was stunned, looking me up and down.
I helped him onto the horse and said flatly, "I am lost. You will lead the way."
"Cross the mountain ahead, and forty li further is Qipan Town," the old man said.
I took the reins and proceeded slowly in the direction he indicated.
The appearance of such an old man in a deserted valley made me suspicious of his origins. We had been wandering this valley for three whole days without seeing a single inhabitant. Why would an old man come all this way to gather herbs?
However, suspicion was just suspicion. I no longer held an official position and had no right to question others' identities. Besides, everyone has their secrets. Was I any different?
When the sky was filled with brilliant red sunset clouds, we finally emerged from the valley.
I cupped my hands toward him and said coolly, "Thank you for your help, old gentleman."
The old man stroked the short beard under his chin and said with a smile, "Young lady, you saved my life. How about this: I shall give you a divination as thanks?"
I looked at this eccentric old man in surprise, never expecting such a proposal.
He pulled a handful of strange copper coins from his robe. "Come, cast a hex."
I shook my head. "I have never believed in such things."
The old man stubbornly held the coins out to me. "Since you don't believe, what harm is there in a single toss?"
I privately surmised he might be a wandering fortune-teller, using the only way he knew to repay his debt. With that thought, I took the coins and tossed them carelessly into the air.
The coins clattered to the ground, forming a pattern that seemed meaningless to me.
The old man bent over, looking solemnly at the jumbled coins, muttering to himself. His expression grew increasingly startled.
I looked up at the western sky. The sun was sinking heavily behind the mountain peaks. Against the crimson canopy, the black silhouettes of a few weary birds flew toward their nests.
"Thank you for the directions, old gentleman," I said, pulling the reins of the black horse. "We shall part here—"
"Wait!" he barked without looking up, cutting me off.
He stopped me from leaving but said nothing more, continuing to frown as he studied the coins on the ground. Seeing that it was getting late, I was caught between staying and going, and I began to feel restless. Just as I was wondering whether to leave this strange man behind, he let out a long sigh. "To think the young lady’s fate would be so..."
He didn't finish the sentence, followed only by more head-shaking and sighs.
It was almost comical. I shook my head, having lost interest. "It is late, and there may be wild beasts in the mountains. Would you like to travel with me?"
He waved a hand and said to himself, "Destined to end, yet it does not..."
My heart skipped a beat.
"The young lady’s life can be described as miraculous; whenever you reach a dead end, an unexpected change inevitably occurs." The old man stroked his beard, choosing his words carefully. "From the hex, the turning point of your fate lies to the Northeast."
"The Northeast?" I murmured, repeating the words. "But I have nowhere I need to go."
The old man looked at me meaningfully. "Does the young lady truly have no place in her heart she wishes to go?"
I looked up sharply, but the old man smiled and shifted his gaze, squinting at the layers of valleys sinking into the twilight behind us. He said reflectively, "Since you already have a destination in your heart, why hesitate?"
He turned back to me. "What is your honorable surname?"
"I..." I hesitated. "My surname is Xia."
The old man asked again, "May I know your given name?"
This seemingly simple question sent a wave of emptiness through me. Sixteen years ago, Xi Xia had died falling from a cliff, and Ji Wuchao had starved to death in the forest.
Who was I?
Who should I be?
I shook my head. "I have no name."
The old man didn't seem surprised by my answer. He reached down to flip a few coins, pondered for a moment, then looked up. "In that case, I shall give you two words: Wuxin. How does that sound?"
Wuxin? Xia Wuxin? What kind of name was that? It sounded like a monastic title for a nun.
I stared at him, but he gazed back thoughtfully, his voice light. "Most of the encounters in a person's life are done 'wuxin'—without intent—are they not?"
My heart jolted. I couldn't help but remember something Wu Xiu had once said: "What if you are heartless?"
The old man cupped his hands twice and gave a lazy smile. "There is a deep karmic bond between Miss Xia and Jie Zijian; I expect we shall meet again. We part here. Take care, Miss Xia."
Jie Zijian? This unremarkable old man was actually Jie Zijian? Could it be such a coincidence? Jie Zijian was a famous scholar of the age, said to be the senior fellow disciple of Imperial Tutor Xu Liufeng, with strategic brilliance and literary talent exceeding even Xu’s.
"Jie Zijian? Master Jie?" I asked blankly. "Imperial Tutor Xu..."
Jie Zijian smiled. "He is my junior fellow disciple."
It really was him.
By the time I looked up, his figure was already walking away.
"Where can I find you?" I shouted at his back.
Jie Zijian turned. In the thick twilight, I could no longer see his features, but his voice carried back, still full of vigor. "Qipan Town, Six Blessings Tavern."
Qipan Town? Wasn't that the same way I was going? Why wouldn't he travel with me?
What a strange man.
***
By the time the hot chicken soup was served, the hour for dinner had long passed. There weren't many customers in the Six Blessings Tavern; besides me, there were only two other tables. One was a middle-aged couple in their forties, and the other was a group of six or seven young men. From their talk, they seemed to be guards from Meng City. Their table was the only one filled with lively chatter.
The owner of the tavern was a middle-aged woman around forty, who called herself "Widow Liu." She seemed sharp and capable. Besides her, the shop only had two young waiters and a stout chef. There was no sign of Jie Zijian.
The reason I had stayed at the Six Blessings was perhaps a subconscious desire to see that strange old man again.
Just as I thought of Widow Liu, her tall figure appeared at the door. She wore a wine-red embroidered dress, fanning herself with a palace fan painted with peonies in one hand and carrying a floral cloth bundle in the other. She walked gracefully to my table and sat down unceremoniously, pushing the bundle toward me.
"Undergarments, outer robes, shoes, socks, handkerchiefs... everything you need!" Widow Liu said with a self-satisfied smile. "Once you've finished dinner, the hot water will be ready. Is Madam Xia satisfied with my inn?"
"I am," I managed a smile. "Thank you."
Widow Liu helped me ladle another bowl of chicken soup and lowered her voice. "Madam’s complexion is poor; it must be because you haven't been taking care of your body. A woman with a child in her womb must not only watch her diet but also avoid exhaustion and worry..."
The chicken soup in my mouth nearly sprayed onto her face. Swallowing it down forcefully only made me choke and cough. Widow Liu leaned over to pat my back, saying nonchalantly, "Look at you, what is there to be embarrassed about? If you aren't in a hurry, you should stay here for a few more days. I am the best at nursing people back to health..."
"How... how did you see..." I finally stopped coughing, but as soon as I spoke, I started again.
Widow Liu smiled and looked me up and down. "What is there not to see?"
I had been traveling through the mountains for days; my black robes had turned into rags. Though my hair was tied up, it was soaked with sweat. Being scrutinized in such a disheveled state made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Fortunately, a few more customers walked in, and she hurried over to greet them, allowing me to breathe a sigh of relief.
The newcomers were several hurried young men, all dressed in the same style and carrying weapons. They looked like family retainers of a wealthy house or perhaps guards. They ordered food and wine and huddled together, whispering. Though I usually had no curiosity about others' business, I couldn't help but be on high alert during such a time. I glanced up and happened to see the one with his back to me turn around to call a waiter. He was dark-skinned with regular features—nothing extraordinary, yet he made my heart race for no reason.
I had definitely seen this man somewhere before.
I quickly lowered my head, pretending to drink soup, while my mind raced: where had I seen him? I couldn't place it, so I shifted closer to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Our horses are fast, but we still haven't caught up even by the time we reached Qizhou..." That was the one who ordered.
"There are other brothers on the search. She might not have taken this road."
"I heard that horse of hers is incredible. In the middle of ten thousand soldiers, it just went 'whoosh' and flew past..."
My heart jumped. Were they talking about my black horse? But looking at their mannerisms, they didn't seem like government soldiers...
"Where could she run? I heard the arrest warrants are out. The charge is accidental injury and fleeing to avoid punishment..."
"Arrest warrants? Then Qizhou won't be safe for her either..."
"Exactly. She really has nowhere left to go."
"No wonder the Fort Lord is so anxious to find her before the authorities do..."
"I heard she once fought the Fort Lord..."
"Our Fort Lord has never married; could it be that he has feelings for this woman..."
"Shut up! Do you want to die?!"
"..."
My mind suddenly cleared. It was him! No wonder he looked familiar. On the night the tomb of Feng Jing was opened, he was the one who had been standing by Feng Tong’s side.
Feng Tong... was he also the one who helped me escape the city?
I set down my soup bowl, grabbed the bundle, and walked quickly upstairs. Knowing they weren't from the government was enough for me. As for Feng Tong, in my eyes, he was a star orbiting a different path. I was a person in ruin; why should I drag him down?
***
I stayed at the Six Blessings Tavern for five whole days, even considering staying forever.
Widow Liu truly knew how to care for someone. She knew what I should eat and what I should avoid. She knew everything about children. Whenever she sat with me and chattered away, I couldn't help but think of my Little Mother. If I had married smoothly like other women, perhaps the woman chattering before me would have been her.
I said abruptly, "I am leaving."
Widow Liu froze, her hand fanning the air coming to a halt. "Truly leaving?"
I nodded. A hint of sadness touched her eyes, but she quickly brightened up and smiled. "I’ll go stew some more tonic soup for you."
She stood and walked a few paces, then turned back. "Is the place you are going far?"
I shook my head. "Not far. If I have time, I’ll come back to drink your soup."
Widow Liu smiled, but her eyes held a clear look of pity. It was something I didn't want to see. By the time I looked up again, she was gone.
With Ten-Thousand-Year Love’s speed, it would take about ten days to reach Qizhou. But Qizhou was not where I wanted to go. Too many things I didn't want to face were left there.
Gazing at the heavy darkness outside the window, a sense of aimlessness rose in my heart. It felt as if I were always searching for something. Sometimes I felt I had found it, but more often, I was simply trudging along the road. What was it? An object? A person? Or...
What exactly was it?
***
**Glossary**
