A Dream of Justice: The First Lady Constable | Chapter 77 | The Weight of Loss | Novela.app

Facing Ming Hua, I did not know what it was I truly feared. I only dared to approach his bedside after he had fallen asleep, stealing a single glance at him. He was no longer the somewhat willful youth of my memory; he had grown taller and leaner. Between his clear brows, there was already a hint of a peerless elegance beginning to bloom—much like Ming Rui. Yet, there was a new, unfamiliar expression: a deep-seated detachment and coldness that did not suit his age at all. There were no tear stains on his face, nor were there any handkerchiefs used to wipe away tears by his pillow. He truly was as they said: he hadn't shed a single tear. I desperately wanted to touch his face, to pull him into my arms and hold him just as I used to. In the end, I did nothing. I silently watched the figures receding beneath the city walls—Ming Tao, Ming Feng, and Ming Hua walking between them. Sitting atop such a tall steed, his frame looked pitifully small and thin. His back was held very straight, radiating a sense of stubbornness. Not once did he turn back to look. He must have known I was watching him. I could feel it. And that realization only made me sadder. "I’ve suddenly realized that every time I try to gain a little more, I always end up losing even more." I rubbed my temples, unsure if my current state was more one of sorrow or regret. "I wanted to 'hold his hand and grow old together,' yet we ended up like birds flying to opposite ends of the earth. I wanted to leave the Central Capital with dignity, yet I became a rebel, hunted like a stray dog. I wanted Dongyao and the Northern Six Commanderies, but I never imagined I would lose Ming Rui and Ming Hua in the process..." It seemed that good things could never stay in my hands. I looked down at my palms—the rough hands of someone who had held a blade for years, with short-trimmed nails. There was an ugly scar on the back of one hand. Beside it, a slender hand reached out and gently took mine. For the first time, I noticed how beautiful Feng Tong’s hands were. His skin was fair and smooth, his fingers long and well-proportioned, even his nails trimmed into neat, rounded shapes. I had intended to tease him with a few biting words, but I only let out a sigh. It was hard to imagine when I would ever look like a proper woman again—possessing delicate, well-maintained hands with soft fingers free of the calluses formed by sword hilt friction. To wear soft skirts and sit leisurely in a garden sipping tea... those days I had once vaguely anticipated seemed to be drifting further and further away. I suddenly thought of Scarlett O'Hara from *Gone with the Wind*. She said that once she had plenty of money, she would learn from her mother’s example and become a gracious lady of many charms, treating others with the kindness and generosity of a true noblewoman. No matter what transgressions she committed, that was always her hope. And since I knew Scarlett’s wish would never be realized, I knew the same was true for me. Once you have chosen a path forward, the hand of fate closes the door to retreat. I released Feng Tong’s hand, my heart filled with an infinite melancholy. The silhouettes of Ming Hua, Ming Tao, and Ming Feng had vanished into the distance, lost to my sight. "Master Jie has already convened a meeting with the directors of the Merchant Association," Feng Tong said, intentionally changing the subject. "The new tax system has begun its rollout—taxes are nearly forty percent lower than before, so the merchants won't disagree. Over in Qizhou, the reconstruction of the fire-damaged eastern district has begun. The funds you allocated have been distributed by Feng Da to Feng Xiuxiu’s two disciples; they’ve started converting the Qizhou courier station into the largest free medical clinic, and preparations for the charity school have begun. Additionally, your so-called 'Casualty Pension Fund' has been launched." Though the situation wasn't quite as optimistic as he portrayed, it was better than I had initially expected. Baicheng, Tiejia Town, Fengdu, and Liangzhou were civilian cities with small populations. When Han Jiang’s troops passed through, perhaps fearing I would gain some advantage, they had plundered the cities extensively before leaving. This actually worked in my favor; the relief work proceeded smoothly, and these four commanderies quickly regained a semblance of their original peace. However, Master Rong Qin and Senior Uncle Qiu remained in the rear. They must have been exhausted these past few days. Bingzhou was a merchant city; nearly a third of its residents were traders from various regions. Thus, pacifying them was the highest priority. Second was the iron mines. Ming Rui’s death seemed to have stirred a sense of unease among the miners. The workers there had their own organizations spanning generations; I had already sent someone to meet their leaders, hoping to reach an agreement as soon as possible. "I have to thank you for all of this," I said with sincere gratitude. "If not for you, I truly wouldn't know where to find so many reliable people to handle these matters." "No need for thanks," Feng Tong said, the corners of his lips curling into his signature, soul-stirring smile. "I intend to collect interest." His green eyes looked clear and enchanting in the bright morning light, like two pools of fresh water, pure and devoid of any impurities. Looking into those eyes, I unconsciously lost myself for a moment. It wasn't until his pupils suddenly darkened that I snapped out of it like waking from a dream, hurriedly averting my gaze. A faint, phantom-like sigh reached my ears. A messenger pigeon flew over our heads, letting out a soft cooing sound. A black pigeon with golden speckles shimmering on its neck—yes, our messenger had returned! I jumped up, pulling Feng Tong along as I ran back. On the tiny slip of paper, two simple words were written: "Meng City." From Meng City to Chixia Pass was about a half-month’s journey. Speaking of Marshal Chu, a new question surfaced in my mind. After enduring it for a long time, I finally couldn't hold it back: "Marshal Chu’s troops have already left Meng City. But in the list our people brought back, Ming Shao’s name was not there." A light suddenly flashed in Feng Tong’s eyes. "Do you want to see him, or are you afraid to?" I met his gaze silently, taking in the complex, indecipherable emotion in his eyes. "Perhaps both, perhaps neither. I can't say for sure myself. But he is Marshal Chu’s vanguard adjutant; it’s impossible for the Marshal to go to war without him. There is something unusual here." Feng Tong spoke expressionlessly. "Little Prince Ming Shao has suffered an eye affliction. He is recuperating at the Falling Star Spring Ranch." My heart gave a violent thud. I turned back to stare at him. "How do you know?" "I knew before we left the Central Capital," Feng Tong answered flatly. "You said you didn't want to hear it." It felt as if something heavy had slammed into my heart. Back at Ghost God Ravine, the news he had wanted to tell me... was this it? "He is blind." Feng Tong’s voice suddenly sounded distant, cold and devoid of warmth. "The imperial physicians were helpless. Because for a patient who does not wish to recover, even a celestial elixir is useless." I sank powerlessly back into my chair, my head buzzing. The scenery before me seemed to blur into chaos. Why did things turn out like this? What else had happened that I didn't know about? Wasn't everything supposed to get better? If he had already cast himself into hell, then what was the point of my leaving? "He... doesn't wish to recover?" I slowly grasped the most important thread from his words. "He would rather..." "Yes," Feng Tong replied softly. In his world, was there truly nothing left that he wished to see? "I want to ask a favor of you." I looked up at Feng Tong. His expression was placid, as if no topic could pique his interest anymore. "Speak." "I would like your merchant caravan to carry something for me." "A letter?" His eyes darkened, his expression shifting unpredictably. I shook my head. "When Jingchi turned a hundred days old, I commissioned Qi Luo, the most famous portraitist from the Kingdom of Meng, to paint several portraits of him. Could your caravan take them to the Falling Star Spring Ranch?" Feng Tong asked hesitantly, "Just that?" I nodded weakly. "Just that. Please deliver them to him personally. Just say... they are a gift from an old friend surnamed Xia." Feng Tong did not speak. I looked up at him; he was looking down at me, his brows slightly knit as if in deep thought. This strange expression made me feel uneasy. As if sensing my thoughts, the corners of Feng Tong’s lips tilted up in a faint smile. "I promise you." In his eyes, a faint sorrow began to diffuse. But before I could see it clearly, that brief flicker of emotion was reined in, sinking deep into his pupils. *** The Chixia Mountains were the only mountain range within the borders of Yantian. They began in the west at the Linxi Mountains, cutting across almost the entire northern part of Yantian, with the easternmost end stretching into the mountains of the Great Chu Empire. Chixia Pass was like a massive gap cleaved through the mountains by a celestial axe. Both sides of the canyon were steep, ochre-red cliffs that even the most agile hunters would find difficult to scale. Only sparse, low vegetation clung to the precipitous rock walls. On sunny days, the rocks would emit colors ranging from brownish-red to golden-yellow depending on the intensity of the sunlight—vast, hazy, and incredibly beautiful. A river, known by the locals as the Mist River, flowed through the canyon. Perhaps due to the steep terrain, the current was extremely rapid. This was an underground branch of the Siluo River, which originated in the Zion Snow Mountains and split off within the Iron Dragon Kingdom. After running beneath the entirety of the Northern Six Commanderies, this underground river emerged at the surface outside the city of Liangzhou. After traversing the canyon, it split into several small tributaries, all of which eventually joined the Lao River, a branch of the Yuyang River. The vanguard elite led by Ming Chuan had already set up camp in a level area within the valley. Outside the valley lay an endless wilderness dotted with earthen mounds. Further off was a haze of yellow sand, obscuring everything from view. "In three days at the latest, Marshal Chu’s vanguard will reach Star Gorge." Jie Ziqian pointed toward the east. "Star Gorge and Chenguan Pond to the west are the most suitable locations for camping. However, because they are so ideal, Marshal Chu will likely be wary of them. Consequently, Queqiao—the 'Broken Bridge'—between those two locations becomes his best choice." "Marshal Chu is a meticulous man," Jie Ziqian said, shaking his head, though it was unclear if he was praising or mocking him. "He only regained his position as Commander-in-Chief because Chancellor Han fell from power. This northern expedition is his best chance to restore his prestige. You must be careful, City Lord." "Then I’ll just have to add some 'seasoning' to the water first," I said casually, glancing at him. "When old friends meet, one must always offer a welcoming gift, right, Master?" Jie Ziqian said with a grin, "The seasoning must be added at the right moment. If you scare off the prey, the bait is wasted, isn't it?" He chuckled, shaking his head twice, and looked thoughtfully into the distance. Although there was an abundant water source here, the harsh climate made it difficult to develop agriculture. There were very few residents. In fact, it wasn't just here; the situations in Baicheng, Tiejia Town, Fengdu, and Liangzhou were much the same. Perhaps thinking of the same issue, Jie Ziqian stroked his short beard and said softly, "The natural conditions of the Northern Six Commanderies are too harsh, and coupled with years of war, the imperial court has had no time to attend to the people's livelihood. The residents here have always relied on government relief to survive. If you can hold Chixia Pass, City Lord, it will only take three years for Feng Xiuxiu and her disciples to teach the locals how to grow medicinal herbs and flax. I heard her say that this sandy soil is most suitable for flax..." Flax originally came from the Kingdom of Anli. Its seeds can not only produce high-quality edible oil but can also be used in leather tanning and the manufacturing of printing ink. If its cultivation could be promoted across the Northern Six Commanderies, it would not only be enough for local use but the surplus could be traded with Iron Dragon and the Kingdom of Meng. When that day truly comes... I couldn't let myself think further. If I could truly see that day, how wonderful would it be? *** | Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | 执子之手与子偕老 | To hold your hand and grow old together | A classic poetic line from the *Book of Songs* (Shijing). | | 劳燕分飞 | Like birds flying to opposite ends of the earth | Idiom (shrike and swallow flying apart) meaning to part ways or be separated. | | 丧家之犬 | Like a stray dog | Literally "a dog from a house in mourning" or "a dog without a home," used for someone in a desperate, hunted state. | | 斯嘉丽 | Scarlett | Reference to Scarlett O'Hara from *Gone with the Wind*. | | 飘 | Gone with the Wind | The Chinese title for the novel/movie. | | 仪态万千 | Gracious and elegant | Describing a woman of many charms and dignified bearing. | | 伤亡抚恤基金 | Casualty Pension Fund | A fund set up to support the families of those killed or injured. | | 容琴 | Rong Qin | A master/elder character. | | 邱 | Qiu | A senior uncle/elder character. | | 蒙城 | Meng City | A location name. | | 明韶 | Ming Shao | A prince/young lord, son of Marshal Chu. | | 落星泉牧场 | Falling Star Spring Ranch | A location where Ming Shao is recuperating. | | 竞驰 | Jingchi | The protagonist's son. | | 齐洛 | Qi Luo | A famous portraitist from the Kingdom of Meng. | | 姓夏 | Surnamed Xia | The protagonist's original/former surname (Xixia). | | 赤霞山 | Chixia Mountains | "Crimson Clouds Mountains." | | 临西山脉 | Linxi Mountains | A mountain range to the west. | | 雾江 | Mist River | A river flowing through Chixia Pass. | | 锡安雪山 | Zion Snow Mountains | Source of the Siluo River. | | 锡罗河 | Siluo River | A major river. | | 铁龙国 | Iron Dragon Kingdom | A neighboring country. | | 烙江 | Lao River | A tributary. | | 余阳江 | Yuyang River | A major river. | | 星星峡 | Star Gorge | A strategic location near Chixia Pass. | | 陈官塘 | Chenguan Pond | A strategic location near Chixia Pass. | | 缺桥 | Queqiao | Literally "Broken Bridge," a location between Star Gorge and Chenguan Pond. | | 韩相 | Chancellor Han | Referring to the disgraced official Han Jiang or his family. | | 胡麻 | Flax | Also refers to linseed or sesame; context suggests flax/linseed for oil/ink. | | 安黎国 | Kingdom of Anli | A foreign country where flax originated. |