In my memory, Bingzhou had always been a place of clamor and bustle. Wandering its broad streets felt like piloting a singular little boat, drifting slowly down a river where diverse tongues and complexions converged. One’s eyes would be filled with an endless tapestry of prosperity, while the accents of foreign tribes, drifting across the water’s surface like enchanting lotuses, would grace the ears.
When I stepped into Bingzhou once more on a morning fresh with light rain, I felt a fleeting sense of familiarity, yet it was stifled by a heavy air of desolation. It felt entirely foreign. For a moment, I stood frozen.
A guard beside me explained softly, "The rioters huddling in the mountains often descend at night to attack merchants. Because of this, many Tielong traders have packed up their shops and returned home."
Looking around, I saw that half the shops on the streets were indeed padlocked. Those still in business appeared somewhat forlorn. Pedestrians were few, and those who did pass moved with an air of cautious trepidation. Even the towering inner city seemed somewhat desolate due to the lack of foot traffic.
Upon entering the inner city, I caught sight of a soaring eave of the Prince’s Estate in the distance. It was the same high, white-washed wall, silently exuding imperial majesty and understated luxury. I knew that every brick, stone, blade of grass, and tree within that estate was maintained exactly as it had been by decree; even the servants had not been replaced. Yet, to this day, I lacked the courage to step inside for a look.
It wasn't that I didn't want to, but rather that facing things which ought to be forgotten felt like an insurmountable task.
The government office was located near the Prince’s Estate.
When we entered, Lin Ru had gathered the bailiffs in the inner hall for a briefing.
Feng Tong and I instinctively halted our steps. It wasn't that we intended to eavesdrop, but rather that entering at such a moment felt inappropriate. We heard Lin Ru’s voice, cold and stern: "...Every time you go up, you can't find a single soul. If it’s truly because their information is that sharp, then so be it. But if I find out any of you are acting as moles and leaking word, consider your days numbered..."
Feng Tong and I exchanged a look, both slightly surprised. Though I hadn't had much contact with this Eldest Senior Brother of mine, my impression of him was that of an extremely refined and elegant man. I had never heard him speak with such gruffness.
"Who’s lurking outside like a ghost?" Lin Ru’s voice suddenly rose. "If you have business, come in and report!"
Before his voice had even faded, he appeared at the entrance of the inner hall. Seeing us, he froze for a moment before hurrying out to greet us. He looked as though he had aged significantly in a short time. The slight, youthful elegance he once possessed was gone; perhaps because he had thinned, his features had become sharper, and even the look in his eyes was more piercing than before.
"I didn't expect you to arrive so quickly," he said, seemingly letting out a quiet sigh of relief. "Let me take you to rest first."
"I'm not tired," I interjected quickly. "What is the situation now?"
Lin Ru sighed softly. "Come inside, let's talk."
Once in the inner hall, the bailiffs dispersed. Lin Ru personally poured hot tea for us. As soon as he sat down, he sighed again, his face clouded with frustration and dejection. "Regarding Brother Feng Duo’s matter... I fear there is a mole. This is my fault..."
"How can you blame yourself?" I comforted him gently. "Don't think like that."
From the moment they met, Feng Tong had been staring at him intently. Hearing his words, Feng Tong remained unmoved and asked bluntly, "What about those two accountants?"
Lin Ru blinked. "They were shaken. I’ve let them rest at home these past two days." His eyes shifted as he caught Feng Tong’s meaning. "You mean..." He then shook his head. "I’ve checked those two. They are outsiders originally. They have no ties to the Restoration Society."
"If there truly were ties, I doubt they would be so easily uncovered," Feng Tong said, his gaze dark and clearly skeptical. In truth, it wasn't just him; I also had my doubts. For an entire party to be ambushed and only those two to emerge unscathed was suspicious. Yet, if they were the insiders, one would expect them to at least sustain some minor injuries to deflect suspicion...
Lin Ru looked back at Feng Tong, his expression showing a hint of impatience. "I will investigate thoroughly." Having said that, he didn't seem to want to waste more time on the subject and quickly changed the topic. "Chu De is pressing hard. There was a skirmish three days ago; our side won a small victory, but casualties were heavy. Even Xi Huo was hit by a stray arrow..." He paused. "Knowing you were coming to Bingzhou, he specifically mentioned in his letter that he asks the City Lord to hold Bingzhou well."
Hearing this, my feelings were complicated and difficult to discern. I had originally intended to visit Chixia Pass, but Xi Huo’s words were so blunt—how could I not understand? So be it. He had a point; if Bingzhou fell into chaos, how could he focus on the war at the front?
"In that case, Eldest Senior Brother will continue to handle the city’s affairs," I said. "Leave the matters in the mountains to me."
Lin Ru’s gaze instinctively flickered toward Feng Tong, his eyes clearly showing he didn't want to let such a prime source of labor off easily. It was strange; whenever these two met, they always seemed to rub each other the wrong way.
I couldn't help but smile. "Fort Lord Feng needs to return to Baicheng."
Feng Tong shot me a sidelong glance and gave a soft, huffy snort.
***
Amidst the hazy night, a full moon broke through the clouds, suddenly illuminating the world.
The backyard of the government office wasn't large. The flowerbeds flanking the path were filled with chrysanthemums in full bloom, their subtle fragrance drifting through the air.
I pulled my cloak tighter. Having sat under the eaves for so long, I felt the pillar behind me had been warmed by my body heat, yet I only felt colder and colder.
Soft footsteps approached from behind, and then a pair of arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a warm embrace.
Warm breath brushed against my ear, tickling me. I instinctively tried to dodge, but he held me tighter.
"You've been dazing off for quite a while," he murmured, leaning in to press a playful kiss to my cheek. "I bet you were thinking of me?"
"I was thinking of a handsome guy," I teased back. "But it wasn't you."
"Oh?" He rested his head on my shoulder, asking in mock surprise, "Did I get it wrong? Is there anyone more handsome than me?"
I laughed again. "Not only is he more handsome than you—he’s absolutely adorable. Anyone who sees him wants to give him a hug." At that, I suddenly wondered: had Jingchi been weaned yet? Was he still fussy at night?
Feng Tong sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap, turning uncharacteristically serious. "The people I’ve arranged are extremely reliable. Moreover, with your parents looking after him, he’ll be fine—likely better than if you were raising him yourself."
I didn't speak, merely leaning lazily against his chest.
Feng Tong patted me. "Alright, alright. Seeing how unhappy you are, I agree to let you keep a dog."
I couldn't help but smile. "Two."
Feng Tong said helplessly, "Two it is, then. But they aren't allowed in the bedroom."
"How can that be?" I looked up and saw the warm spark in his emerald eyes. I couldn't resist reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. Under the faint moonlight, his features carried an indescribable allure. His usually sharp silhouette had softened into something as gentle as water. Before my lingering gaze, his beautifully shaped lips slowly curved into a captivating smile.
Who could resist such a moving smile? My fingers involuntarily brushed against the corner of his mouth; the touch was soft and cool. My head suddenly felt a bit heavy, yet I found myself leaning in to kiss him. A sliver of unknown fear for tomorrow only made me throw myself more passionately into the tenderness of the moment.
The past and the future no longer mattered to me.
His green eyes were misty with emotion. When my fingers brushed over them, he couldn't help but blink. His thick lashes swept against my fingertips, tickling like the wings of a butterfly.
I pulled my hand back and laughed softly.
Feng Tong also smiled, leaning his head down to whisper, "I’m leaving early tomorrow morning—will you miss me?"
The arms around his neck tightened. "I will. I won't be used to you not being by my side."
Feng Tong pressed his forehead against mine but didn't speak.
"On the surface, Ming Yue and Feng Pu seem cordial, but deep down, they don't yield to one another," I whispered. "Then there’s Feng Long in Fengdu and Feng Tang in Chenjiaji. But they all listen to you. If the situation changes, even if all these people can successfully withdraw from the North, how will they settle? These matters are likely harder than defending this place. If they’re left to the wrong person to arrange, I fear they’ll be rounded up by Chu De’s men in one go..." I sighed softly. "If... if we can't save the North, I must at least save their lives and livelihoods."
"I understand." Feng Tong kissed my forehead and said softly, "It’s just that I... can't bear to leave you either."
My heart suddenly softened with a mix of touched emotion and a hint of heartache.
I gently cupped his face and urged him once more, "The North’s terrain is unique; once the pass is breached, there is nothing left to defend. I’m speaking of the worst-case scenario... If the pass falls, arrange for them to leave the North immediately. Do not hesitate. You must promise me you’ll return safely to the Kingdom of Anli and wait for me, taking care of my parents and the child."
He didn't make a sound. I shook his face impatiently. "Did you hear me? You aren't allowed to sneak back to Bingzhou. Once I’ve escaped, I’ll naturally come find you. If you try to be clever and come back for me only to get caught, I’ll have to waste effort saving you. It’ll be a huge hassle. Just promise me."
Feng Tong said lazily, "Fine."
I was dissatisfied. "No sincerity."
Feng Tong quickly stole a kiss from my lips and swept me up into his arms. His eyes were full of a nonchalant air, as if he hadn't taken a word I said to heart. This made me anxious, and I was about to nag him further when he leaned down to kiss me again, then said with a laugh, "Women really are chatterboxes."
He kicked my bedroom door open with his foot and carefully set me down.
Leaving his embrace, I felt a sudden chill. No candles were lit in the room; it was pitch black. The thought of facing the boundless night alone made me shrink back. I couldn't help but lean closer to him. In the darkness, he seemed to smile tenderly as his arm reached out to pull me back in.
I hugged his waist, tightening my grip, somehow unable to let go.
He didn't speak, but slowly closed the door behind him.
The darkness of the room suddenly felt different because of that action, taking on a gentle, rhythmic quality. I clearly felt a surge of heat like a rising tide in the dark, ebbing and flowing. Amidst this rhythmic sound, a tiny voice kept whispering in my mind: *He’s leaving... he’s leaving...*
A faint sense of dread flickered in my heart. For a moment, the reluctance to let go was overwhelming.
Once the sun rose tomorrow, he would be gone...
After this parting, would he and I ever have the chance to meet again?
My hand slowly slid up to his chest in the darkness, trembling slightly, much like my voice: "Have I ever told you... I love you?"
"No," his body seemed to vibrate slightly. His warm breath lingered on my cheek, and his voice was as low and soft as a murmur in a dream. "But I’ve always known—I knew even before you did."
"I love you." A hot, aching sensation welled up from my heart and into my eyes, only to recede in an instant. In the darkness, I repeated it over and over: "I love you, I love you..." The tender whispers were not enough before they vanished into a passionate entanglement of lips and teeth.
His kisses fell softly on my brow and temples, then slowly slid down to my ear, continuing downward.
Every kiss was scorching, like little flickers of flame, making every inch of my skin burn at his touch.
My outer robe slid slowly from my shoulders, and a light shiver ran across my exposed skin. It was from the cold, yet our pressed bodies grew hotter and hotter.
He forced himself to pause the passionate kissing and swept me up. Without hesitation, he walked into the inner chamber and laid me gently on the bed. Before I could feel the cold, his burning body covered mine, his taut muscles seemingly brimming with endless passion and strength. For a moment, I thought of brilliant fireworks exploding in the night sky... but it was only for a moment. I could no longer think of anything, responding to him with pure, fervent instinct.
Regardless of the past or the future, none of it mattered to me anymore.
***
It felt as though I had only just closed my eyes in his arms when dawn arrived.
I was startled awake by a slight movement from him. Opening my eyes a crack, I saw the air was already tinged with the dim light of morning; it was time for him to leave.
From his cautious movements, I knew he was afraid of waking me. And I, never being good at goodbyes, simply kept my eyes closed and pretended to sleep.
He very carefully moved my arms and legs off him, then gently tucked the corners of the quilt around me.
I peeked again. His hair was loose as he stood by the bed, dressing with quiet movements. In the soft morning light, the scene felt indescribably warm. I suddenly thought: how wonderful would it be if the first thing I saw every day upon waking was this?
Seeing him turn around, I quickly closed my eyes. I felt his breath draw near my face as he seemed to watch me silently. Then, he pressed an extremely gentle kiss to my lips.
A faint breeze seemed to brush past my ear, carrying three words I truly hadn't expected: "I love you."
I could hardly believe my ears. Had he really said such a thing?
I snapped my eyes open, but he had already turned and walked out of the inner chamber.
I actually wanted to hug him again, to have him kiss me passionately, to tell him that without his warmth, the bed already felt a chill I didn't like... but in the end, I didn't move. I just listened quietly as his footsteps moved toward the door and vanished into the faint sound of it opening and closing.
A single tear fell, silently sliding past the corner of my eye and soaking into the pillowcase that still held a trace of his scent.
***
After Feng Tong left, the weather in Bingzhou turned into a relentless, drizzling rain.
Once night fell, the damp cold seeped into one’s bones.
Unable to bear the chill, a charcoal brazier was lit in the inner hall. Lin Ru disliked the smell of charcoal, so only I sat huddled close to it. Opposite me was Xiao Rong, the advisor in Lin Ru’s office.
Xiao Rong was a middle-aged man in his forties with a long face and a few wisps of beard. His features appeared quite stiff. He had originally been a manager at the mines. When the mines were sealed, he was kept on to assist the bailiffs with the aftermath because of his familiarity with the operations. During the miners' riot, he hadn't escaped in time and was nearly beaten to death by the mob. The one who saved him was Lin Ru. He was a man of few words and seemed meticulous. However, perhaps because he was a local of Bingzhou, I didn't fully trust him.
A map was spread across the round table before us. Lin Ru’s finger traced lines back and forth, his handsome brows knit tightly in a look of great frustration. "These people crawl into the caves and refuse to come out. Many of the caves are interconnected. Even if we find an entrance, we don't dare charge in blindly. Last time we found a cave, we used smoke for half an hour, but when we went in, they had already retreated through another exit. Instead, our men were nearly wounded by hidden traps inside..."
The map was drawn with reasonable detail. Besides marking the simple paths up and down the mountains and the surrounding villages, it also noted several hiding spots we had discovered. However, once found, they were abandoned. We couldn't venture deeper because the terrain was too complex.
I frowned, feeling a slight surge of irritation.
Since Feng Tong left, I had taken two hundred personal guards provided by Lin Ru to the mines twice, but both trips were fruitless. The villages halfway up the mountain were left with only women and children, all of whom claimed total ignorance. Lin Ru had considered taking the villagers hostage to force the miners out, but after much deliberation, he abandoned the idea, fearing the neighboring villages would join the uprising.
After sitting in silence for a long time, an idea slowly formed in my mind. Once Xiao Rong finally stepped out, I leaned closer to Lin Ru and asked in a low voice, "Since we can't catch them, why not lure them out? There must be something they’re interested in."
Lin Ru’s eyes brightened. "Weapons!"
He slapped the map hard. I quickly signaled for him to lower his voice and turned to look outside. Xiao Rong’s back was already disappearing down the steps. I didn't know if he had heard Lin Ru’s exclamation.
Seeing my expression, Lin Ru guessed my intent but said dismissively, "Old Xiao is an honest man. Besides, I saved his life; he wouldn't be the mole."
I disagreed with his assessment. Since he already suspected a mole in the office, everyone was a suspect. I felt that as someone constantly by Lin Ru’s side, Xiao Rong was the most suspicious of all. I shook my head. "It’s best to find a way that can both expose the mole and capture the rioters."
Lin Ru said, "The government storehouse those brats raided last time had been sealed for so long that the grain was mostly moldy and the weapons were rusted. They’ve robbed some merchants and stolen quite a bit of silver, but I’ve blocked the mountain passes, so they can't trade with the Tielong merchants. What they lack now is weaponry!"
I thought for a moment. "Then we should play the false against the true."
Lin Ru’s eyes lit up, then he glanced toward the door in Xiao Rong’s direction. "I still think you’re overthinking it."
"Better to be sure than to be unsettled," I said. "If we leave a hidden threat, it will eventually ruin everything."
Lin Ru stared at the crumpled map, pointing his finger at a small red circle. "There was originally a government storehouse here specifically for weapons. We sealed it later. If we’re going to set an ambush, this is the place."
I followed his finger. It was a small village on the outskirts of the city. Written in tiny characters was the name: "Luofeng Slope."
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
并洲 | Bingzhou | A major city/region in the North, known for trade.
林汝 | Lin Ru | The protagonist's Eldest Senior Brother (Da Shixiong), currently an official in Bingzhou.
铁龙族 | Tielong Tribe | An ethnic group/tribe involved in trade.
席获 | Xi Huo | A general or commander fighting at the front.
萧容 | Xiao Rong | An advisor/manager in the Bingzhou government office; former mine manager.
竞驰 | Jingchi | The protagonist's child.
安黎国 | Kingdom of Anli | The protagonist's home country/region.
落凤坡 | Luofeng Slope | Literally "Fallen Phoenix Slope"; a location near Bingzhou.
